"Andrew, baby, please stop, okay? I can get my own food and drink," I tell him. My head, resting on the back of the couch, turns his way.
He"s been trying to baby me for the last two weeks and it"s starting to grate on my nerves. I appreciate his help and his caring, but I"m not an invalid. I understand his concern, but he needs to chill. I still see the worry in his eyes sometimes, but it"s not as p.r.o.nounced as it was when I first woke up in the hospital.
"That"s probably not gonna happen," he says honestly, which I figured. "I need to be able to do stuff or my mind starts to wander. My mind wandering right now isn"t a good thing. I keep seeing you on the ground with blood all over your chest." He squeezes his eyes closed for a brief second and when he opens them again, the pain is back full force.
I scoot over and turn my body to face him, the pain in my ribs sending a jolt through me, but I ignore it.
"What"s it going to take for you to believe I"m not going anywhere? That there"s nothing that could take me away from you? Even a bullet."
"Time," he says. "I can"t help what I feel in here." He puts his hand over his heart. "Or here." He taps the side of his head. "When you were laid out on the ground, my whole world stopped, Jase. It felt like I was the one on the ground with a bullet in my chest. That bullet could have landed in your heart or your head. It could have been over so fast." He scoots closer to me, so my bent leg is hanging over his. "I"ll eventually get to the point where the visions don"t almost debilitate me, but I"m just not there yet."
I nod, understanding his meaning. A scare such as ours doesn"t just go away quickly. Emotional pain can be just as painful as physical pain. It needs time to heal as well. I can put up with Andrew"s hovering if it helps him deal with it.
"Now stop complaining, lie down and rest, and give me your feet."
I laugh. "You"re going to rub my feet?"
"Yes, because what I want to rub, I can"t." He wiggles his eyebrows at me. "So it"s the feet instead."
Not about to give up a foot rub, I do what he says and lie down with my feet in his lap. I took a pain pill after everyone left, so it"s not long before Andrew ma.s.saging my feet and the medicine have me falling asleep.
Later that night, Andrew and I are in bed. I"m lying on my back with one hand behind my head. Andrew is on his side facing me with his hand on my chest over my heart, asleep. I"m not sure what time it is, but I know it"s late.
I look over at Andrew and see his features peaceful. It"s the most relaxed I"ve seen him since before the shooting. His messy brown hair looks tousled in sleep. His jaw sports a two-day shadow. I know he"s been stressed lately, and it shows. I also know the stress will slowly leave him.
I reach over and gently run my fingers through his hair. It"s soft. He mumbles something in his sleep, but I can"t tell what it is. I remove my hand, not wanting to wake him.
There"s no way to explain the feelings I have for this man. They are far beyond anything I"ve ever felt before. He barreled his way into my life and gave me no choice but to let him. I love him with everything I have in me. I"ve always known everyone has one person in this life they"re meant to be with, but I never realized how thoroughly deep and abiding these feelings could be.
The day I walked through the doors at Maggie"s Diner was the day that changed my life forever. I came to town thinking my days were numbered. Damien and his revenge were to be my end. What I ended up getting after I got here was my sister, who I adore, a town full of people who care for each other, friends I now consider family, and a man I will spend the rest of my life loving.
I roll to my side and feel Andrew adjust behind me, putting his arm around my lower stomach. Even half-asleep, he"s careful not to put pressure on my side.
"Love you," I murmur into the darkness, not expecting a response.
"Love you, too, baby," Andrew mumbles. I tip my lips up into a smile and drift off to sleep.
Andrew Nine Years Later I watch as Ally and Trent huddle their heads together, looking at something on Trent"s phone. They"re sitting on the picnic table in Lilly"s back yard. My eyes narrow when Ally throws back her head to laugh at something Trent said, and leans over to kiss his cheek. She"s fifteen. Too young for that s.h.i.t.
I look around the yard through the throng of people milling about until I spy Mac just a few yards away.
"You tell your boy he better watch himself with Ally," I warn him.
He looks to the pair still watching whatever on Trent"s phone before looking back at me. "What are they doing?" he asks, his eyes dancing in mirth.
I shoot daggers at him with my eyes. "He keeps making her laugh and she kisses his cheek. She"s fifteen, he"s nineteen."
"Ah, come on, Andy." Mia b.u.t.ts her nose in. "You know it"s innocent. They"re best friends."
"I still don"t like it," I growl at them both.
I"ve seen the way Trent looks at her when he thinks no one is looking. On several occasions, I"ve had to force myself not to go over and smack the look off his face. However, Mia"s right. Over the years, they"ve grown extremely close. Any time I have Ally over at my and Jase"s house, he"s always around. I can"t f.u.c.king get rid of him.
At first I thought it was a great idea for them to bond. I liked that Ally found someone in my family to attach herself to. But now I"m thinking it was a mistake. Watching the two of them across the yard all huddled together like two peas in a pod has my fists clenching. It"s not that I don"t want them close together, but I know what goes through the head of a boy Trent"s age. All they think about is s.e.x or anything to do with the female body.
"You don"t have anything to worry about, Andrew. You know that. They are both smart. Ally won"t do anything until she"s ready, and you know Trent wouldn"t push her." Mia comes to my side and places her hand on my arm.
Again, she"s right, but it"s still hard to watch. I also know Ally has feelings for Trent. She has stars in her eyes any time she looks at him. It"s there for everyone to see. If Trent ever hurts her, I"ll make his life miserable. Ally"s had enough pain in her life. She doesn"t need any more.
Two years after Ally"s leukemia was announced to be in remission, it came back. Luckily, the cancer wasn"t as harsh the second time around, but it was still painful to watch her body go through the chemo treatments again. She didn"t wait for her hair to fall out in chunks. She bit the bullet and shaved it the first day of treatment. In an effort to support Ally, Trent shaved his head as well. She cried when he came to see her after she got back from her appointment. Her body became weak again, but she pushed through it.
Becky and Brent"s families and my family were all there to support her and give her courage. I"m proud of her for staying strong. It"s been a little over six years since she"s been cancer-free. She has yearly check-ups, just in case it returns.
Jase walks up and hands me a beer. He pops the top of his own, takes a swig, and turns to face the direction of my gaze. Jase and Ally have also become close, something that makes me happy. It didn"t take her long to start calling him Uncle Jase. Ally knows who I am to her, a decision that Becky and Brent made on their own and then came to talk to me about. I told them to be sure that was what they wanted and they a.s.sured me it was. Ally was okay with it. Becky and Brent are still her mom and dad and I"m still Uncle Andy. Nothing"s changed. Everything stayed how it should.
"Knock it off, Andrew," Jase says beside me, laughter in his voice. "You"re going to scare the boy."
I take a drink of my beer and turn to him. His beautiful eyes watch me take him in. His hair is still long, carelessly thrown in a ponytail. His face is covered in a trim beard, something he started growing years ago when I told him I wanted to feel it on my body. The sleeves of his black b.u.t.ton-up shirt are rolled up to just below his elbows, showing tanned tattooed arms. His stomach is flat and his hips, encased in jeans, are trim.
I never get tired of looking at him and my body still reacts every time I do. I feel a twitch in my jeans, and I discreetly adjust myself.
"What"s wrong, baby? Jeans getting too tight?" he asks, smirking.
I take a step toward him and grab his ponytail. "f.u.c.k, yeah, they are. Care to take care of it for me?"
His eyes flare with heat, and a rush of air leaves his lips. Yep, I still affect him, too.
"Cut that s.h.i.t out," Jaxon growls, walking up to us with Bailey.
After giving Jase a deep kiss, leaving us both moaning, I turn to face them. I"m disappointed I have to wait until later to have Jase, but it"s a family barbeque, so we need to behave.
I see Amari taking off toward Ally and Trent, and I sigh in relief. There will be no more s.e.xy glances and whispered words with little Amari around.
We all laugh as Amari situates herself between the two.
"You need to bring Amari around more often when those two are together," I tell Jaxon, and he chuckles.
"Mama," a little voice calls, and we all look down to Belle, Mac and Mia"s four-year-old daughter. She has a hold of Mia"s pants, tugging on them. "Nanna said I can have a popsicle, but I haveta ask you first."
Mia squats down to her level before asking, "Did you eat the hot dog I gave you earlier?"
"Uh huh," Belle says, nodding vigorously.
"Okay, sweetie, you can have one." The words have barely left Mia"s mouth before Belle takes off running toward the house. "But only one," Mia calls after her daughter.
"Okay, Mama," Belle yells, without looking back.
We all laugh as she dashes into the house, no doubt in our minds that Belle will end up with however many popsicles she wants. Lilly spoils all her grandkids, including the ones she"s adopted.
I take another pull of my beer as I turn back to face the yard. This has always been a gathering place for us. Every chance we get, we end up here.
I look over at Jase, who"s talking to Jaxon and Mac. Bailey and Mia are whispering something to each other and giggling. Unfortunately, Chris and Nick couldn"t be here today. Nick"s out on a job site and Chris went with him.
Looking back at Ally, my heart swells. I hate that I kept her from my family for so long. There"re so many things they missed. But having her here, surrounded by the people I love, is something I cherish every day of my life.
I turn back to Jase and watch him interacting with our friends. I remember the day Chris showed me his picture. I felt a punch in my gut and my heart began pounding rapidly in my chest as soon as I laid eyes on him. I knew with everything in me that my world would change once he walked into my life. And it did. It may sound cliche and girly as s.h.i.t, but having Jase has made my world so much brighter. I had a good life before he came into it, but the moment he strolled through the door of Maggie"s Diner, it became perfect.
Acknowledgments.
First and foremost, I want to thank my husband, daughter, and son. They are the ones who suffer every time I sit in front of my computer to write. Every hour I spend writing is an hour taken away from them. Thank you so much for understanding my need to do this and having patience. I love you all!
Next, I want to thank my good friends Hope, Kim, and Allison. I have no idea what I would do without you three. Each of you play such an important role in my life, and I"d be lost without y"all. Thank you so much for being there for me, giving me advice when I become stuck, and lending an ear when I need to rant. You ladies are my saving grace and sanity in the oftentimes madness of being an author. Thank you and I love you!
I also want to send a special thank you to Kim Black with TOJ Publishing. Once again, you amaze me with your mad designing skills. I couldn"t have asked for a more beautiful cover! Thank you!
Alex"s Jaded Angel"s, you ladies (and one gent ;) ) rock my world. Thank you all for being there and supporting me. There"s no way I could thank you all enough for everything you do. You make my life lighter and fill it with laughter. I love each and every one of you!
Kaila! My teaser girl! I have no idea how I got so lucky in finding you, but I"m not giving you back! You"re amazing, and sweet, and so d.a.m.n talented! Thank you for my wonderful teasers! Love you!
Becky and Olivia at Hot Tree Editing, I KNOW you both hate me at times and I wear your patience, because my writing skills DO NOT extend to editing and grammar. Lol. Thank you both for taking on my books and making them the best they can be. You both are such a pivotal part in this process and there"s no way I could thank you for taking care of my babies! But I"ll start with a simple thank you!
Beta readers, you help me so d.a.m.n much. It"s your advice and guidance that makes my books more readable and dependable. Thank you all so much for everything! Love y"all.
Readers! Thank you so much for taking a chance on me and giving me the opportunity to entertain you with my imagination. You are the glue that keeps this industry together. There are no words to express my thanks to y"all. Just please know that I am eternally grateful. There are so many authors out there you could have chosen to read. To pick me out of the thousands upon thousands is so very humbling. Thank you!
Bloggers, you"re last, but certainly not least. Indie authors would be nothing without you. YOU are the ones who promote our books for others to see. YOU are the ones who take time out of your day to show readers they need to take a chance on our books. My grat.i.tude for each of you is beyond words.
Turn the page for a sneak peek of Nick and Chris"s story!
Chapter One.
"Nick." I hear the soft broken whisper and whip my head around.
The once beautiful eyes are now dull and almost lifeless. The stark pain radiating from them sends a sharp pain to my chest.
"I"m here, baby," I whisper, my voice no longer sounding like my own.
A whimper leaves Anna"s lips when she tries to move. I have to force my body to relax, when all it wants to do is lock up and seize. I look down at Anna"s broken body, covered in a dirty piece of cloth I found on the floor of the house, and every part of me aches with her. Every mark on her body, I feel on mine.
"No, Anna, stay still," I tell her, and take a deep breath before continuing. "The ambulance is on their way, okay?"
She ignores my plea to stay still and lifts an arm covered in marks. A flash of rage runs through my blood at the sight, but I push it away. My focus needs to be on her right now, not the f.u.c.kers who did this to her.
My gut clenches and my stomach plummets when she winces in pain and drops her arm. I gently grab her wrist and bring her hand to my lips, kissing the back before placing her hand on my cheek. It"s ice cold and fear almost cripples me.
She closes her eyes and takes a few shallow breaths before opening them again.
"I love you, Nick." Her voice is barely audible.
As much as I love hearing her say those words, they scare me. They"re too final. I know the broken woman lying in front of me is dying. I know her condition is dire. But I refuse to think of any outcome other than her surviving. This is my Anna. She can"t leave me.
I bend over and lay a soft kiss on her forehead. "I love you too, Anna Banana," I whisper.
My lips are still at her forehead when I hear her weak voice say, "Be happy for me."
I close my eyes and pull in air that no longer feels life sustaining. All it does now is remind me I"m whole and safe while the woman I love with my entire heart lies broken and bleeding in my arms.
Anger at the injustice of it all has me pulling back and growling, "Don"t do this, Anna! Don"t you dare die on me! You hang on, G.o.ddammit. You can"t die on me!"
My voice cracks and rises with every word I say. By the time I"m done, I"m panting. This isn"t the way it"s supposed to be! She"s not supposed to leave me! We"re a f.u.c.king team!
"It"s... too late... for me, Nick. I need... you to promise... you"ll be... happy. Promise... me. Please."
My heart cracks wide open at her words. She doesn"t realize it, but pieces of my heart lie right beside her, a ruined and b.l.o.o.d.y mess. She"s asking the impossible. There"s no way I could ever be happy if she"s not with me. She can"t expect that of me.
"No!" I tell her angrily, and bring her body closer to mine. "I can"t promise that! I can"t be happy without you. You"re my happy. Please, Anna, just hang on a little bit longer."
"Promise me, Nick," Anna says, her voice weaker than it was before.
"f.u.c.k!" I snarl to the sky.
How can she think I could ever be happy again? I"ve loved this woman from the time I was old enough to know what love was. We"ve made plans together. We were supposed to grow old together. Without her, there is no happy.
As I glance back down at Anna, I know I have to give her what she wants, at least in words. Her eyes are begging me. I"ve never been able to say no to her.
Gathering up every bit of courage I have, and praying to G.o.d that he and Anna forgive me, I utter the lie, "I promise."
The smile that graces her face almost has her looking like my Anna again. My heart pounds in my chest, and I freeze when she slumps in my arms, her eyes closing with the smile still on her lips.
Ah, f.u.c.k no!
"Anna?" No response. "No, no, no! Jesus Christ! Please, Anna, baby, answer me!"
She still doesn"t respond. The breath I"m holding whooshes out, and my lungs won"t allow me to bring in more air. A piercing pain shoots daggers in my chest where my heart use to beat. It feels like it"s not there anymore.
I can"t believe she left me. The reality of it hits me, but I still don"t want to accept it.