"Can we close the bar down a few hours early two weeks from Sunday?" she asks him.
He looks down at her with the same expression he always reserves for her. Love and worship.
"I could, I guess. Why? What"s going on?"
She gives us all a beaming smile and exclaims, "We"re going to the fair!"
We"re all silent for a minute, not expecting that to come out of her mouth. Not opposed to it, just not expecting it.
"h.e.l.l yeah, I"m game!" I"m the first to break the silence. I reach over and hold my palm up for Bailey to slap. She looks at it blankly for a second, then realized what I"m doing and slaps it. "I haven"t been to the fair in years."
"Such a great idea, Bailey," Chris says, clapping her hands in delight. Bailey gives her a big grin.
"We"re in," pipes in Mac. "T will love it."
"What about you, Jase? You good to go?" Chris asks.
"Sure, I"ll go," he says with a shrug.
"Yeah!" Bailey jumps up and down, barely able to contain her excitement. "This is going to be so much fun!"
We all smile as we watch her. Jaxon picks her up and plants a solid kiss on her lips before setting her back down.
I have to agree with her. This is going to be fun. It"s not very often we"re all able to get together. It"s hard for Jaxon because he has the bar to run, not to mention me, Mac, or Chris are normally here. Every once in a while, he"ll close it down if plans are made for all of us. Obviously, he can"t do that very often, or he"ll p.i.s.s off a lot of customers. They generally don"t mind if it doesn"t happen too often.
It"s been a while. We"re all due some downtime. This"ll definitely be interesting. When we all get together, we always have a blast, because that"s what friends do. With the added bonus of Jase being there, giving me another opportunity to be around him, I"m really looking forward to it. It can"t get here fast enough.
I feel a twinge of guilt at the thought of Ally and Becky at home while I"m out having a good time. Ally may not have many more opportunities to enjoy life. And if anything happens to her, I know it"ll be a long time before I will enjoy anything. I force the thought away. I refuse to believe G.o.d would be such a b.a.s.t.a.r.d and wipe the Earth of the beautiful little girl living a couple hours away. No f.u.c.king way would that happen.
Jase I wipe the sweat from my face with my shirt as I enter the back door of Jaxon"s Pub that leads to the small apartment upstairs. My breathing is labored and my heart is racing, but f.u.c.k, it feels good to run. It"s a good way to keep my mind off s.h.i.t back home. I think about that f.u.c.ked-up mess entirely too much as it is. Any distractions are welcome. There"s nothing I can do now anyway. Eventually I"m going to have to come up with an idea to get me out of the mess I"m in. No way do I want to live looking over my shoulder every day for the rest of my life. I don"t regret what I did, I"d do it again in a heartbeat. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d deserved everything he got.
I push the thoughts away and my mind immediately turns to the other reason I run and need a distraction.
Andrew.
I grip the back of my shirt between my shoulder blades and rip it off in frustration. I walk to the fridge, grab a bottle of water, and down the whole thing. Throwing the empty bottle in the trash, I lean back against the counter and tip my head back.
f.u.c.k!
That man gets to me. And that"s one thing I can"t afford right now. I don"t need the added stress of starting something with a guy. I"ve got too much going on to even contemplate that. But f.u.c.k if I don"t want to. I"ve been here a week and every single f.u.c.king day he"s been right in front of me in some form or fashion. And he"s made it very clear he wants me. With the heated looks he sends me or the blatant flirting, there"s no way I could mistake his interest for anything other than what it is.
He"s constantly making innuendoes and it"s getting harder and harder to not take him up on his offers. He flirts with everything that"s of legal age and has two legs, but it"s different when he does it with me. The look he gives the others is flirty and you can tell it"s in jest. When he looks at me, I see the tension in his body, his eyes dilate, and he grips whatever"s closest to him, like he has to physically hold himself back from getting to me.
There"s even been a couple times my eyes have, of their own accord, drifted down, and I"ve noticed a bulge. Those are the times I want to say f.u.c.k it and back him up against the nearest wall and f.u.c.k his mouth with my tongue, among other things.
I grip the counter and grit my teeth, not sure how much longer I can hold off. I know if it happens-and I"m bound and determined to not let it-it"ll be explosive beyond belief. No way would Andrew be the type to meekly sit there and let me do all the work. f.u.c.k no, it"ll be a battle to see who ends up on top. Literally and figuratively.
I hear Chris"s bedroom door open, and a minute later she walks into the kitchen. She"s still in her sleep clothes and she"s walking with her head down. When she lifts it, I immediately know something"s wrong, and my thoughts of Andrew fly away in a flash. Her eyes look sad and are red rimmed. I can tell she"s been crying.
She notices me standing there and tries to wipe the look away. It doesn"t work. The grief-stricken look still lingers.
"Hey, what"s wrong?" I ask, as I walk toward her.
She dips her head and mumbles, "Nothing."
I put my hand under her chin and lift her head until I see her eyes again. I tell her gently, "Obviously, it"s not nothing. You"ve been crying. Why?"
She looks at me with such defeat in her eyes, then bursts into tears and throws herself in my arms. I put my arms around her and bring her closer. I hate to see her so upset. I"ve noticed that since I"ve been here something"s been on her mind. Every once in a while I"ll see her stare off into s.p.a.ce with a somber look on her face. I figured that if she wanted to talk about it she would come to me. Evidently it"s more serious than I thought. And now I feel like s.h.i.t because I haven"t asked her about it before now.
She mumbles something into my chest that I can"t make out. I pull back a little, but she doesn"t let me get far.
"What is it, Chris?" I ask her again quietly.
"Everything is just so messed up," she murmurs tearfully, and it breaks my heart.
"What"s messed up, sweetie?"
"Everything," she cries loudly. "Everything is messed up. I tr-try so hard to sh-show him how I feel, but h-he doesn"t care. I hate this. I ha-hate feeling like this. I know he-he"s hurting, but so am I. I want to help h-him, but I don"t know how."
She becomes quiet, and I try to make sense of what she"s talking about. I have no idea what the f.u.c.k"s going on, but it clearly involves a guy. My fists ball up at her back. If some a.s.shole has hurt her, I"ll tear him apart.
"Shhh... Chris, I don"t understand what you"re talking about. Who are you trying to help? Who in the f.u.c.k hurt you?"
"You don"t understand," she mumbles. "He doesn"t do it on purpose." She looks up at me with tears falling down her face. I wipe at the trails on her cheeks.
"He hurts, too, Jase. Something happened a long time ago, and he"s still hurting. I just wish he would stop pushing me away and let me in."
"Who, Chris?" I want to know who"s hurt her. I don"t care what the circ.u.mstances are, you don"t hurt my little sister and think you can get away with it.
I can see her closing down. She"s not going to tell me. Whoever it is, she"s protecting him. I have no idea why, but I"ll find out.
"No one," she mutters, and looks down. "Just forget about it. Forget I said anything. I"ll just leave him alone from now on."
I want to punch the wall at her defeated look. I don"t like seeing her this upset. I want to fix whatever her problems are, want to beat sense into whoever hurt her, but I can"t if she won"t let me.
She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Taking a deep breath, she looks up at me and there"s determination written all over her face.
"Chris-" I begin, but she cuts me off and takes a step back.
"It"s okay, Jase. Really. I"m fine now. Just please forget it," she pleads with me, and I hold whatever I was going to say. I"ll keep quiet for now.
She tries to give me a smile, but fails miserably, "Do you want breakfast?"
I watch her for a minute, gauging her expression. "No, honey, I"m good. I"m going to jump in the shower, if you"re okay?"
She nods and takes a deep breath before releasing it.
"Go. I"m fine here. You"re all sweaty and you stink, sooo...," she says, with a slight smile.
I chuckle at her attempt at a joke. I can see her visibly trying to pull herself together. Chris has always been strong. I"ve always admired her for that. Our parents weren"t the best in the world; not the worst by a long shot, but they still could have taken parenting cla.s.ses.
As she pa.s.ses me to walk to the fridge I grab her arm, and she looks up at me.
"You can talk to me, Chris. I know I haven"t been around much, but I"m here now. Please, come to me if you need me. For anything." My voice is quiet, but no less meaningful.
She gives me a bigger smile than the one before, and the anger I felt a few minutes before dissipates some. Whatever was bothering her, she"ll get over it. I can see the resolve, and I feel a sense of pride.
"Thank you, Jase. I"ve missed you so much. I"m really glad you"re here.
"I am, too."
I lean down and kiss her forehead before releasing her arm. I turn to walk out the kitchen, but she stops me by calling my name. I turn to face her again.
"I may not be here when you get out of the shower. I"m meeting up with Bailey. We"re going shopping in the next town over."
"Okay. You"re on shift at the bar tonight, right?" At her nod, I continue. "I"ll meet back up with you there. Have fun."
After another smile, I turn on my heel and make my way to the bathroom.
My nerves are completely shot, and I want nothing more than to have hot water beating down on my shoulders. I strip down, pull the tie from my hair, and step into the shower, dipping my head under the spray. My wet hair falls forward and hangs around my head in a curtain. Taking a deep breath, I push back the images running through my head, not wanting to think of all the reasons I"m f.u.c.ked. Now"s not the time to dwell on them.
I stay in the shower for a good thirty minutes, soaking up the warmth of the water and releasing some of the stress.
Just as I step out, I hear a banging on the door. Grabbing the towel off the back of the door, I wrap it around my hips before making my way to the living room. When I open the door, I see Andrew on the other side. My initial thought is to yank him forward, but I hold still. My second thought is that it was a mistake opening the door. I know this from the look in his eyes when he sees me standing there in nothing but a towel.
"Holy mother of all that"s hot," he breathes, and takes a step forward. "I"ve died and gone to f.u.c.king Andrew heaven."
I quirk a brow at his reaction, trying to hold back a laugh. He sure has a way with words that makes a guy feel d.a.m.n good.
The possessive look in his eyes as he runs them up and down my near-naked body, and the way his breathing has become heavy, has me gritting my teeth. It looks like he"s about to pounce. My d.i.c.k hardens at the thought.
I"m at my wit"s end when it comes to him. A man can only take so much from someone like him before he snaps. I"m almost at that point, but I can"t let it happen. At any other time I would take him up on his offer in a heartbeat. h.e.l.l, I"d already have him up against a wall, beneath me, behind me, any way I could get him. Denying him feels so wrong on every level, but in order to keep my head, I have to. I need to keep my head in the game. The game of survival. Maybe once all the s.h.i.t back home is taken care of...
Andrew takes another step toward me, stalking me, looking at the hand that"s holding the towel around my hips. Every part of me wants to stand still until he reaches me, but I force my legs to move backward. I raise the hand not holding the towel in front of me in an attempt to stop him. If he gets too close, I seriously doubt I"ll be able to hold off.
"Hey, hey," I say, and snap my fingers at him, trying to get his attention off my junk. His eyes meet mine. "This isn"t happening." I gesture between the two of us.
"The f.u.c.k it"s not," he growls, and comes closer. I nearly groan as a wave of his scent hits me. He"s too close. I need him to stop. I"m on the edge, and it"ll only take a slight push for me to go over.
"I"m telling you, Andrew, this s.h.i.t can"t happen right now."
"And I"m telling you, baby, that it is. There"s no way you can stand in front of me, wrapped only in a f.u.c.king towel, and expect me not to get a taste. I"m not leaving here until I do."
I nearly become light-headed at his words. My blood heats and my d.i.c.k goes from half-mast to hard as f.u.c.king t.i.tanium in a nanosecond. A shiver races down my spine, and I have to grip the towel tighter.
He"s only a few feet from me when he stops.
"Lose the towel," he grits out, his voice going deeper and his eyes flaring.
My hand loosens on the towel, my resolve weakening.
f.u.c.k, but I want him.
I know d.a.m.n good and well that it"ll be good between us. It"ll be intense and s.e.xy as f.u.c.k. There"s something about him that draws me in, making me want to forget about everything else. I felt it the first time I saw him.
A jingle sounds in the room and the look in his eyes switches from something carnal to frustration. He yanks his phone from his back pocket and scowls down at it. Once he sees who the caller is, the scowl immediately turns to concern. I wonder at the abrupt change. Shaking my head, I breathe a sigh of relief at the interruption.
Andrew turns away from me while he answers the call.
"Hey. Everything okay?" he asks the caller quietly.
He"s silent for a minute, then his body goes stiff. The hand at his side b.a.l.l.s into a fist. All the air leaves the room as I watch Andrew drop his head, his shoulders going up and down as he takes in deep breaths. He looks defeated and it crushes something inside me. Whatever"s being said on the phone is not good news. I don"t like seeing Andrew like this. It"s so unlike his normal magnetic att.i.tude.
His voice is quiet when he tells the person on the phone, "I"m on my way. Give me about an hour and a half. Take a deep breath and stay calm, okay? Everything is going to be fine."
He listens to the caller for a second, then says, "I know, Becs. Just hold tight. I"ll be there soon."
He disconnects the call and then tips his head back. His eyes are clenched shut. The phone is in a white-knuckled grip, and I don"t see how it"s still intact.
I take a step forward and place a hand on his shoulder. He jerks at the contact, but doesn"t turn to face me. Whatever news he just got is obviously painful for him. I may not know Andrew that well, but one thing I have learned is not much gets to him. Seeing this beaten-down version of Andrew causes my chest to hurt.
"Andrew," I call his name hesitantly, not wanting to startle him. "Everything alright?"
He whips his body around and the pain I see clear as day in his eyes almost brings me to my knees. They look tortured.
"I"ve got to go," he says hoa.r.s.ely.
I nod, not sure what to say. Whatever"s bothering him isn"t my business, even if I want it to be.
His eyes turn fierce again and his voice is stronger when he adds, "But this isn"t over. We will finish it."
He doesn"t give me the chance to refute his statement before he turns and practically runs for the door. The sound of the door slamming jars me and I twist my neck, trying to release the tension caused by Andrew"s statement. And then the anguish written all over his face. Never have I seen eyes that looked so grief stricken.
I walk to the window just in time to see Andrew get into his car and take off, wheels peeling out on the pavement. I know it"s only a matter of time before I give in to Andrew"s pull.
Andrew I rush into the emergency room and sprint toward the nurse behind the desk. When I"m refused the information of which room Ally is in, I have to force myself not to jump the desk and strangle the nurse. I realize she legally can"t give out any information, but I"m beyond being reasonable. There"s a little girl here who means the world to me, and I have no idea what"s going on. I"m past the point of caring about regulations and legalities.
Just as I"m about to lay into the d.a.m.n nurse and tell her to check the chart because my name is on there, I see Becky rushing my way. With a final glare at the b.i.t.c.h behind the counter, I turn just in time for Becky to barrel into my chest.
Her eyes are swollen and there"s utter devastation written on her face. I clutch her shoulders and peer down at her.
"Tell me what happened," I demand in a soft voice, not wanting to make the situation harder on her.
Sniffing and then taking a deep breath, she rocks my world when she speaks.
"She pa.s.sed out in the hallway. She had been looking pale earlier and she threw up a couple times. I was on my way to check on her when I found her. Oh, Andrew." Fresh tears start gliding down her cheeks. "At first I thought..." She stops herself and buries her head in my chest, shoulders shaking.
"Shh... I"ve got you." I rub her back and give her a couple minutes.