Pure satisfaction slides through my body when he shouts, "Andrew!"
The sound of him calling my name almost has me shooting my load on the shower floor. It"s music to my f.u.c.king ears. That"s one thing I know with certainty I"ll never get tired of hearing.
Jase "What"s your favorite color?" Andrew asks me.
We"re sitting outside Joe"s garage at the picnic tables eating lunch. Andrew called about an hour ago and informed me he was on his way here with lunch from Maggie"s. This is the second time this week he"s brought me lunch at work. It"s only been a few days since I finally gave in to Andrew, and I love every single minute of it. We haven"t really gotten the opportunity to get to know each other much. Instead, we"ve been spending our time f.u.c.king. While those times are hot as h.e.l.l, we both decided to play the generic get-to-know-you game.
So, here we are. Andrew eating his roast beef sandwich, me eating my Philly cheesesteak, while we play silly, girly games. I feel ridiculous, but at the same time, I"m enjoying learning about him.
"Gray," I answer. "You?"
"Green. What do you like on your pizza?"
"Chicken bacon ranch."
"Jase, man, that"s f.u.c.ked-up. Pizza is supposed to have red sauce, not white," Andrew says with a full-body shudder.
I chuckle at his overdramatic reaction to my pizza topping choice. "Not my kind of pizza. That red s.h.i.t can stay the h.e.l.l away from me. What"s yours?"
"Plain old pepperoni, with extra pepperoni and light sauce."
After taking a bite and a swallow of my water, I tell him, "Okay, my turn. How old were you the first time you had s.e.x?"
"Fourteen. It was with a fifteen-year-old boy from the next town over. We were friends of a sort. He was visiting his grandmother who lived here in Jaded Hollow. I was h.o.r.n.y all the d.a.m.n time, but it was always the boys that turned me on. One day, Michael caught me looking at his junk while we were skinny dipping in Jaxon"s lake. He asked if I was into boys, I said yes, and then we were going at it like jackrabbits."
An irrational bout of jealousy hits me at Andrew"s story. It"s stupid to think, but I don"t like the thought of him with anyone else. I want to pummel any f.u.c.ker who"s ever touched him. He"s mine and should only ever have my scent on his skin.
"What about you?" Andrew asks, pulling me from my ridiculous thoughts.
I shake my head to clear it. "Thirteen. My first time was with a girl three years older than me. The thoughts and feelings running through my head scared the s.h.i.t out of me. My family is the type that doesn"t take being different very well. I knew my dad would have a fit if he knew I was attracted to guys. I rebelled against the feelings and f.u.c.ked whatever girl that would have me, trying to force the thoughts away. Obviously, it didn"t work." I smirk at him.
"And thank f.u.c.k for that," Andrew says.
That particular time in my life isn"t something I"m proud of. When I told him I f.u.c.ked any girl that would have me, I wasn"t lying. And a lot of girls did. It didn"t matter the age either, so long as she was my age or older. I was fifteen when I f.u.c.ked a twenty-eight-year-old woman. She was a neighbor of ours. She was married but her husband was gone all the time. She would always watch me out the window when I was in the backyard mowing the lawn with my shirt off. Even back then I was fit and tanned.
My parents and Chris were gone one day while I was tr.i.m.m.i.n.g the apple tree we had out back. The neighbor lady came over with a gla.s.s of ice water. We ended up in my bed s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g. Each time I had s.e.x with a girl, I was never satisfied. I was able to finish, but I had to work hard at it.
Finally, at sixteen, I said f.u.c.k it and didn"t try anymore. I officially moved my attempts to guys. After my first time with a guy, I knew that was it, there was no going back. And I haven"t been back since.
"Have you ever been with a girl?" I ask Andrew.
"Yep. Once. Years ago." That"s all he says, but I can tell by the softness of his eyes there"s more to the story. I won"t push him to tell me more if he doesn"t want to, but it leaves me curious.
Our conversation is interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen. I don"t recognize the number but know it"s from back home.
Thinking it may have something to do with my parents, I answer. "h.e.l.lo?"
"h.e.l.lo, Jase. Long time, no see," comes a voice I never wanted to hear again. "Where you hiding at these days?"
My body goes stiff, and I immediately get up from the bench. I take a few steps away from Andrew to stand beneath a tree. I really don"t want him to hear this conversation. It"s s.h.i.t he doesn"t need to know about yet. There"ve been a couple times he"s asked me about my life back in Georgia, but I always deflect the questions.
"What the f.u.c.k do you want, Damien?" I hiss quietly into my phone.
I peek over my shoulder and see Andrew"s eyes glued to me. He hasn"t gotten up from his seat yet, but his body is tight, likes he"s ready to pounce at the slightest provocation.
"Oh, you know just what I want. And I"m coming to get it. How are you enjoying your last days of freedom?" Damien laughs in my ear and it grates on my nerves.
"f.u.c.k you, Damien. It"s a wasted effort. You won"t find me."
"Oh, see, that"s where you"re wrong, baby. When I want something, I get it. How"s that pretty redheaded sister of yours?"
My blood runs cold at the mention of Chris. He has no reason to believe I"m with her. Unless he already knows. The whole time I was with him, I only mentioned her a couple of times. I purposely kept it that way, because I knew he was into some f.u.c.ked-up s.h.i.t. I didn"t want him to think Chris and I were close, and therefore, a bargaining tool if it went bad between us.
Not sure which direction he"s going, I feign ignorance, hoping he"s not implying what I think he is. "I have no idea. I haven"t seen her in almost two years."
"Come on now, Jase. You don"t think I"m stupid, do you? I know you just saw her yesterday."
Son of a b.i.t.c.h!
"You stay the h.e.l.l away from my sister, you motherf.u.c.ker," I snarl into the phone. "She"s got nothing to do with this."
I hear his chuckle on the other end and it grates on my nerves. I want to reach through the phone, wrap my hands around his throat, and squeeze the f.u.c.ker until his head pops off. What the h.e.l.l did I ever see in this guy?
"I think it"s quite fair, don"t you? An eye for an eye," he says, the laughter in his voice replaced by venom. "You took something of mine that I loved. Now it"s my turn. Emilio isn"t happy, either."
f.u.c.k Emilio. f.u.c.k Damien. f.u.c.k every last one of them. I don"t give a s.h.i.t if they"re happy or not. I just care about protecting my sister.
"I"m warning you, Damien, leave my sister alone. That b.a.s.t.a.r.d brother of yours deserved what he got and you know it," I tell him in a deadly calm voice. I"ll do anything to keep Chris safe. The f.u.c.ker better realize that before he does anything stupid.
"My baby brother had to get his kicks off somehow or another. His way was just a bit more messy than others. You took him from me when you had no right." The hard edge in his voice should worry me, but instead it just p.i.s.ses me off even more. "What are you going to do, baby? I"ve got twenty guys at my back on this. How many you got in that podunk town you"re living in nowadays? It"s best you give yourself up now, or maybe me and that f.u.c.kable sister of yours will have a little fun before I snuff her out. I"ve never had a brother and sister before."
The hand holding my phone clenches. I barely hold in the scream trying to force its way out. I feel sick to my stomach that I let this sick f.u.c.k touch me. Frustration crawls through me. I"ve got no f.u.c.king choice but to leave. No way will I allow this a.s.shole to come near Chris. For that to happen, I"ve got to give myself up. Rage surges throughout my body. I won"t give up easily, I"ll put up a d.a.m.n good fight, but if Damien has the backing of Emilio like he claims, then the chance of me coming out of this alive is d.a.m.n near nonexistent.
Before I get a chance to reply to Damien"s threats, he continues, "We"ll talk later, Jase. Give you time to come to terms with your fate. Who knows, maybe I"ll keep you around for a while. We had some fun times together." And with that, the line goes dead.
s.h.i.t! f.u.c.k! Son of a b.i.t.c.h!
My hand drops to my side and I hang my head. The thought of leaving Chris, Andrew, and everyone else in Jaded Hollow weighs heavily on my shoulders. Anger like I"ve never felt before courses through my blood and my whole body starts to shake.
"What the f.u.c.k was that?" a deep voice growls from behind me. I completely forgot Andrew was here.
My hand grips the phone tighter, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I really don"t want to leave Andrew, but I know I don"t have a choice. Keeping Chris safe is my number-one priority. Leaving and going to Damien instead of waiting for him to come here will draw his attention away from her. The things Damien will do to her to get back at me, even the strongest person would have a hard time handling.
I hear the crunch of leaves from behind me and brace myself for his touch. When it comes, my emotions finally let loose. I"m not only going to have to leave Chris, but Andrew as well. We haven"t known each other long, but in the short time we have, he"s come to mean a lot to me. There will be no more touches. No more jokes. No more heated glances. No more taking in his scent. No more running my fingers through his hair. No more feeling the warmth of him at my back.
"Jase-" he starts, but I don"t let him finish.
As soon as his fingers graze my back, I throw back my head and give an almighty roar. I ball the hand that still has my phone in it into a fist and slam it against the tree. The pain I know I"ll feel later from the bark that"s now embedded into my knuckles doesn"t register. My phone breaks into pieces in my hand, and I"m sure bits of the plastic have sliced into my palm. I bring my hand back to punch the tree again, but I"m stopped by Andrew grabbing it and pushing me back a few steps.
He gets in my face. "Tell me what the h.e.l.l"s going on."
My chest heaves as I lift my head and look into his black eyes. It hurts to look, knowing I won"t see them anymore. That I"ll never see them flare with need again or crinkle at the sides with laughter.
I shove past him, needing to get my s.h.i.t together and get the f.u.c.k out of Dodge. The longer I"m near him the harder it"s going to be to leave. And the longer I"m here, the more chance Damien will show up. I need to make a clean break. Make plans on how I"m going to handle this. I won"t go in unprepared.
I only get a couple of feet before I"m stopped again by Andrew. He pulls me up short by grabbing my bicep.
"Where in the h.e.l.l are you going? And who the f.u.c.k was on the phone?" he growls, taking a step closer.
"I don"t have time to explain, Andrew. I"ve got to pack my s.h.i.t and leave."
Of course, being Andrew, he doesn"t let me get away with that answer. Stubborn a.s.s.
"I don"t f.u.c.king think so. First, you"re going to tell me what"s going on that you think you have to leave, something that"s not f.u.c.king happening. And second, we"re going to figure s.h.i.t out together."
"f.u.c.k you, Andrew," I snarl in his face. "You don"t know these people. If I don"t leave, Chris gets hurt. Now let me go."
"I"d really like to right now, but I"m trying to help you figure out the mess you"re in. I can promise you, though, that I"ll f.u.c.k you later."
Normally his joking would bring a grin to my face. But now it just p.i.s.ses me off. This s.h.i.t is serious. I"ve seen the f.u.c.ked-up s.h.i.t Damien"s done before. It"s not pretty and downright gruesome at times. If he gets his hands on Chris, then it"s over.
"Now"s not the time to joke. If these guys get their hands on Chris, she"s finished. There"s no way she"ll live through what they"ll do to her. The longer I"m here, the closer they are to getting to her."
He steps closer to me, and I feel the heat from his body. His unique scent hits me, and I want to curl my fingers in his hair and yank his lips to mine. I have to hold myself together so I won"t do just that.
"That"s too d.a.m.n bad, baby, because that"s not happening. I didn"t just find you after years of not realizing I was searching for you, to give you up. You"re mine and you"re going to stay that way, right here in Jaded Hollow. Whatever s.h.i.t you"re in, we can figure it out together. We"ll protect Chris together."
"f.u.c.k!" I throw back my head and scream. Why the f.u.c.k can"t he just leave it and let me go? He doesn"t understand the ramifications of me staying. He doesn"t know the damage that could be done. If something happens to Chris, I"ll never forgive myself. I"ll never be the same. Chris and I may not have been real close before, but she"s my sister and I love her. She"s innocent in all this. She shouldn"t have to pay for my mistakes.
I draw in a deep breath before letting it out. I don"t know if it"s a mistake or not, and pray that it isn"t, but I nod at his words. I decide to tell him what happened. I have no idea how we can pull this off, but the thought of leaving him behind, of never seeing my sister again, leaves my gut clenching and my chest hurting.
Relief flashes in Andrew"s eyes. I grab his hand and walk him over to the bench to take a seat. I bend over and rest my elbows on my knees, staring off into s.p.a.ce. Andrew faces me and straddles the bench.
"I met Damien about a year ago. I was working at the local mechanic shop when he came in with his car that needed a new part. He let me know right off the bat he was interested in me. The feelings were mutual. We were together about a month before he introduced me to his friends. I knew right then that he was into some serious s.h.i.t. Word out on the street was that Emilio, the head honcho of the group, was dealing drugs, selling girls, and running ammo. I wanted no part of it, but wasn"t ready to give up Damien. I made it clear I didn"t care what he did as long as he didn"t involve me."
I glance down at my hands, clasped between my knees. I barely notice the torn and b.l.o.o.d.y knuckles. The images running through my head are ones I wish I could forget. That particular time in my life I"m not proud of. If I could go back and change the day I met Damien, I would in a heartbeat. But then again, had I not met Damien, his b.a.s.t.a.r.d of a brother would have finished the job I stopped.
I get back to telling Andrew what a f.u.c.k-up I am. I just hope he doesn"t look at me with disgust once I"m finished.
"For the most part, I was clueless as to what was going on. Though, there were a few times Damien would come over with specks of blood on his clothes and his hands would be shredded. I ignored it, not wanting to know what happened. A few times he would reek of cheap perfume. I didn"t care much if he was seeing women. I didn"t even care if there were other men. We weren"t exclusive and we both knew it. It was just good f.u.c.king between us."
When I look over to Andrew, his face is hard. There"s a tic in his jaw and his hands are clenched tightly on his thighs.
"A couple of times he tried to talk me into joining the group, but I refused. He"d get p.i.s.sed, but he knew it wasn"t happening. However, I did attend parties he threw at his place, which included Emilio and some of his gang. I socialized with them briefly, but kept my distance. Damien was very close to his family. He had a sister, brother, and his mom. His brother, Drake, was in with the group. He was younger than both of us, early twenties, but was a c.o.c.ky little motherf.u.c.ker. He thought since he was part of it, nothing could touch him. Damien catered to him and let him get away with everything.
"One night, about a month ago, we were at one of his parties. I"d stepped outside to get some fresh air when I heard rustling around the back of the house. I walked around back and saw a light on inside the shed through a window. The music was loud inside the house, so I knew no one heard it. I thought maybe someone was trying to steal something, so I went to check it out. There was an unlocked padlock on the door with the key still in it."
I stop talking to draw a deep breath. I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to block the images from forming in my head, but they squirm their way in. Revulsion churns in my stomach, and I have to force away the vomit trying to make its way up.
When I start talking again, I do it with a hoa.r.s.e voice. "What I saw when I opened the shed door is something I"ll never forget. There, tied by her hands to the beam on the ceiling, was a naked girl. She couldn"t have been more than thirteen years old."
"s.h.i.t," Andrew mutters beside me.
When he reaches out to touch me, I stand up quickly. "Don"t," I tell him. "Don"t touch me. Let me finish, or I won"t. I need to get this out, first."
He nods in understanding, and I"m grateful. I"ve never told anyone this before. I don"t like the thought of Andrew touching me while I spill out all this nastiness. Andrew"s clean, while I feel dirty for being a part of this, even if it wasn"t voluntary.
"Her tiny body was covered in blood. There were cuts and bite marks everywhere, bite marks so deep that blood oozed from them. Blood dripped from between her thighs, too. Her head was just hanging there, her tangled and dingy hair almost to her waist. She wasn"t moving, so I thought she was dead. I leaned over just in time to throw up.
"When I stood back up, I took a step toward her to let her down, but before I could, I saw something out the corner of my eye. f.u.c.king Drake was standing there with his pants undone, no shirt, blood all over his chest, and a b.l.o.o.d.y knife in his hand. He asked if I was there to join the party."
Andrew growls, but I ignore it.
"I asked if his brother knew what he was doing. He said yes, that he helped him find the girls. He sounded proud when he said Damien didn"t join in, but he"d sometimes sit and watch the show." I hiss when I say, "The man I had been f.u.c.king was stealing young girls so his twisted brother could rape and mutilate them. And he f.u.c.king watched!" I roar the last and punch the picnic table with my already damaged hand.
"Jase-" he says, and starts to get up from the bench.
"NO!" I yell, and point a finger at him. "Sit the f.u.c.k down and let me finish! You wanted this, so shut up and let me continue."
I know I shouldn"t be angry at him, but he forced me to tell him all this. I hate thinking about it, and when I do, I"m disgusted with myself all over again. How could I have been so clueless that Damien was involved in something so heinous?
Andrew doesn"t say anything else, but I see the anger on his face. I don"t know if it"s directed at me for losing it, or if he"s angry for me. I don"t much care at this point. I just want it done, so I can come up with a way to get out of this s.h.i.t.
"When he told me his brother was involved, I lost it. He must have really thought I was going to take part in it, because when I charged him, he just froze with shock. He didn"t have time to defend himself before I got to him. I didn"t think. All I saw was that kid hanging from the ceiling with her body almost unrecognizable.
"I guess I zoned out or something because by the time I was done, he wasn"t breathing. I knew right away that I was in deep s.h.i.t. No way would Damien let me live after I killed his brother. Even so, I didn"t regret it. Still don"t. I"d kill him a thousand times over for what he did to that girl, and probably multiple others. I grabbed a blanket off the makeshift bed in the corner and laid it out on the floor. When I went to grab the girl, she whimpered. Shocked the s.h.i.t out of me, because I thought she was dead. I wrapped her in the blanket, ran to my Jeep, and left her at the emergency room before I blew out of town. I knew Damien would come after me, and when he did, it wouldn"t be pretty. I was hoping I was far enough away that he wouldn"t find me. Obviously, I was wrong. He knows I"m here and now he wants Chris in return."
Andrew"s quiet for a minute, before he says, "He won"t touch her. I promise you, Jase, he won"t get his hands on her."
I look over at him and see he truly believes that. The black in his eyes make him appear deadly. I"ve never seen that look in his eyes before. His lips are set into a hard line and he"s clenching and unclenching his fists. He looks as though he"s ten shades beyond furious. But as much as I want to take his words for truth, there"s no way he can guarantee Chris"s safety.
"I can"t take that chance, Andrew," I tell him. "The only way to keep her safe is to go to him. I won"t go in unprepared, though. I don"t plan on just giving myself over to him."
"That"s not an option," Andrew growls, and gets up from the bench, walking my way. "You"re not going anywhere near that f.u.c.ker. You may as well forget that s.h.i.t and help me come up with something else."
I blow out a frustrated breath. He just doesn"t get it. This isn"t something that can be easily taken care of. Damien, even without the help of Emilio, is a dirty motherf.u.c.ker. He fights to win, by any means necessary. f.u.c.k the repercussions and f.u.c.k anything that gets in his way.
"It isn"t as simple as coming up with a plan," I angrily say back to him. "He has Emilio backing him up. That means he has all of Emilio"s people. You really want to bring people like that to Jaded Hollow?"
He steps into my s.p.a.ce and grabs me by the ponytail. I want to yank it from his grasp, but decide to hold still for the moment.
"We have people, too, Jase. We"ll talk to Mac and see what he can do. We"ll move Chris somewhere else for the time being so she"s not alone." He steps closer and snarls in my face, "You"re not f.u.c.king leaving. You"re not f.u.c.king giving yourself up to that b.a.s.t.a.r.d. You"re staying right here with me. You"re mine and f.u.c.k if I"m going to let you go. Do whatever you need to do to get used to it."
When he"s finished, his chest is pumping rapidly with his heavy breaths. I can tell there"s nothing I can say to him that will make him change his mind. And in a way I"m glad. I don"t want to leave here. I just hope we"re not making a mistake Chris will pay the consequences for.
As soon as I nod, Andrew pulls me forward by the grip he still has on my hair and drops his head to plant a searing kiss on my lips. He doesn"t wait for me to open to him, not that he would have to wait long anyway. He forces his tongue in my mouth to tangle with mine. I grip his hips and mold our bodies together. His hardness against my own has a groan coming from deep within my throat.
Never have I ever wanted someone as much as I want him, but it"ll have to wait. We still need to talk to Mac. Tonight though, you better bet your a.s.s I"ll be taking his.