"Because you think that nothing on earth moves me or interests me, don"t you? There you are wrong. Before I gave rein to this disgraceful pa.s.sion, I lived in a state of perpetual interest in all things. Cities, mountains, rivers, the ocean, society, art, pa.s.sing affections, everything moved me and attracted me. To-day all these things are objects of loathing in my eyes. Barren boredom, a wearing contempt, and a causeless weariness dog me everywhere, surrounding me like poisonous vapors. All the nerves of my life are parched--except one. When this is stirred, my being trembles, my faculties are roused, the horrible spell that binds me is broken, and daylight breaks upon my spirit----"
"Better say night. A bad conscience has need of night."
"Conscience always stops on the steps of the temple of love. Did you ever know anyone who, truly in love with a woman, devoured by desire for her, has been hindered by conscience? I know n.o.body. If any human being came to me with a tale like that, I should tell him frankly that he lied. No mouse ever hesitated before cheese; no man before a woman, in fear of his conscience."
"All the worse for men if that is so. But I repeat it is not about this that I wish to speak at this moment. At the risk of your carrying out your half-veiled threats, I am resolved to put an end to this persecution, and it shall be ended. Indeed, it shall be ended!"
"Do you know one thing, Cristina? I have come to think that you enjoy being obstinate rather than virtuous."
"Do you know another thing, Castell? I have always thought that there is no love whatever in your make-up, but, instead, a monstrous vanity that has need of satisfying itself at the cost of the honor and happiness of your best friend."
"If there was nothing in me but vanity, how long would it have taken it to be revenged upon this scorn, these insults? I doubt if there is a woman in the world who knows how better to cut the heart with a gesture, envenom the soul, and fill it with mad anger by a glance. I am persuaded that you cannot love, but only scorn, a man. If you condescend to your husband, it is because he is a poor, miserable thing who doesn"t dare hold up his head in your presence."
"Spare your insults! This is well! If you had always talked like this, I should have been saved much pain. Now let us come to the other matter.
It is absolutely necessary that from this night henceforth you must cease to mortify me, either with words, looks, or hints of any kind. It is absolutely necessary that, if you cannot treat me with respect as the wife of your friend, I should be to you as any indifferent person. And, further, I am resolved, thinking everything over, to give an account of what has pa.s.sed to my husband."
"This is decreed?" he asked in a mocking tone.
"This is decreed!" she said angrily.
There was a pause.
"And are you not afraid," he asked at last, speaking slowly, "if following upon the thousand tortures and humiliations that you have made me suffer, and my despair of ever being successful with you, if no compa.s.sion follows, that my love might be turned into hate, and that I take means that the event which overthrows me should engulf you and yours in yet more frightful ruin?"
"No, I am not afraid," she replied with fiery pride.
"You do well. I shall not take any revenge whatever."
"You may do it if you choose," she interrupted him impetuously. "Emilio is a man who likes luxuries and comforts, I know, but he cares very much more for his wife and his honor. If the alternative were offered him, he would give his fortune gladly, if not also his life. So you may ruin him as soon as you please. If nothing is left us, we two can go to work. But when he finds himself in somebody"s office as a humble clerk, n.o.body can come up to him and call him a complaisant husband; and when I go through the streets, the people in Valencia may lean out of their balcony windows and say: "This poor woman that we see there with a basket on her arm used to have her carriage and go dressed in her silks;" but they shall not say, I swear it, "She who goes yonder is a prost.i.tute.""
Her voice sank as she uttered the word. I felt my throat constrict.
"Oh, oh! this is too much!" exclaimed Castell.
"Yes." She repeated the word firmly. "And it is all the same whether one sells oneself for fear or to get money."
"Pardon me, Cristina, but it seems to me that you are giving the conversation rather a romantic turn. "A basket on her arm." This is folly! I call your good judgment in against such nonsense. Here is a man who loves you with all the strength of his soul, who to win your love would be capable of making any sacrifice, even of his life. You have already taken away all my hope, and, in abandoning the contest, at least don"t make me out a seducer in a novel of the kind that stirs up the wrath of dressmakers."
"Let us stop talking. I cannot stay here any longer," she said. I could see that she stood up.
"Yes, let us put an end to it. I give up trying for you, but not loving you. I renounce the idea of vengeance, as I have told you. But understand, however, that this is only a truce. My hopes that you will love me some day will not be banished. Separated from you, I shall wait with patience for a time when our paths shall cross again and I shall offer you the poor heart that you have coldly trampled upon."
"Very well. Good-by."
Castell also stood up. More by Cristina"s next words than by what I could really see, I understood that he was holding her.
"Let me go!"
"Before you go, I want the reward that my sacrifice merits. Let me kiss these glorious eyes."
"Let me go!" she repeated forcibly and fiercely.
"I have renounced all," he said as energetically, but lowering his voice; "but I swear to you I will not renounce this kiss, if it costs me my life."
"Let me go, or I shall scream."
"Scream as much as you like. If you want to make a scandal and perhaps kill your husband--his death for one kiss--I am willing."
At that moment I entered the glorieta and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Who is it? Who goes there?" he exclaimed, giving a jump that separated him widely from Cristina.
"There is no need of being alarmed. It"s me."
"And who are you?" he replied, drawing a revolver and pointing it at me.
"Keep your gun for thieves, or hold it in readiness for some traitor who, abusing the confidence reposed in him, tries to seize upon honor and happiness. There are no thieves or traitors here."
"If there are no thieves, there are at least persons about devoting themselves to overhearing private conversations. But for such persons a whip would be more suitable than a revolver," he returned in sarcastic tones.
"Keep your sarcasms likewise for a more opportune occasion. n.o.body here has tried to overhear conversations. They are heard when they come to one"s ears, and I am sincerely sorry that I was here at this time to hear them. If I had been asleep in my bed, I should have avoided the sorrow of entering into the foul and hidden corners of the human conscience."
"You lie!" he cried, coming wrathfully towards me. "You were spying upon us. How can you talk of foulness when you are sunk in filth yourself? You have been spying upon us, I repeat it. I have seen you doing that for some time past. By what right do you follow our steps and pretend to interfere in the affairs of this family, you who are an outsider?"
"An outsider interferes when he sees anyone is in need of help," I replied calmly. "Moreover, I have not the habit of following any path, except those of the ocean currents. I have not insulted you, and you have no right to insult me as you have been doing."
Then he, perhaps taking my calmness for cowardice, or possibly wishing to provoke a violent scene, so as to extricate himself from his difficulty, grabbed me by the lapels of my coat, shook me, and bringing his threatening face up to mine, yelled:
"Yes, senor, you have followed us, and I will not endure it. Do you hear? Yes, I have insulted you, and why? Are you not satisfied with one insult? Then here goes for another."
I caught his arm in air. I caught hold of the other one also, and holding him like a vise, because here my greater muscular strength was of service, gave him several shakings and forced him backwards into the foliage of the arbor.
A voice sounded in my ears:
"Give up, Enrique, give up! Don"t risk your life for anybody!"
I paused, stupefied. My fingers relaxed their hold and released their captive. Turning my head, I saw before me the virginal figure of Isabelita. Yes, it was she.
"Thank you very much," I said smiling.
But I was of no consequence. She did not even glance my way. With an agitated countenance, her eyes fixed upon Castell, she took his hand and led him out of the glorieta.
CHAPTER XIV.