"He ought to be stood up and lammed over the head with a club!" observed Mr. Shrimplin, with considerable acrimony of tone. "You"d have thought that being a witness would have made a man out of Joe if anything would,--and how does he act? Why, he lights out; he gets to be good for something beside soaking up whisky and spoiling his insides, and he skips the town; now if that ain"t a devil of a way for him to act, I"d like to know what you call it!"
"He was a good man--" declared Mrs. Montgomery with conviction. "A good man, but unfortunate!"
"Well, if he suits you, Nellie--"
"He does!"
"I"m glad of it," retorted Mr. Shrimplin, taking a chew of tobacco. "For I don"t reckon he"d ever suit any one else!"
"You and none of my family never liked Joe!" said Mrs. Montgomery.
"Well, why should we?" demanded Mr. Shrimplin impatiently.
"Your wife,--my own sister, too,--said he should never darken her door, and he was that proud he never did! You couldn"t have dragged him there!" said Mrs. Montgomery, and the ready tears dimmed her eyes.
"And you couldn"t have dragged him away quick enough if he had a-come!
Now don"t you get tearful over Joe, you can"t call him no prodigal; his veal"s tough old beef by this time! But I never had nothing in particular against him more than I thought he ought to be kicked clean off the face of the earth!" said Mr. Shrimplin, rolling his drooping flaxen mustache fiercely between his stubby thumb and its neighboring forefinger.
Such personal relations as the little lamplighter had sustained with the handy-man had invariably been of the most friendly and pacific description. Esteeming Joe a gentleman of uncertain habits, and of criminal instincts that might at any moment be translated into vigorous action, Mr. Shrimplin had always been at much pains to placate him. In the heat of the moment, however, all this was forgotten, and Mr.
Shrimplin"s love of decency and rect.i.tude promptly a.s.serted itself.
"It"s easy enough to pick flaws in a popular good-looking man like Joe!"
said Mrs. Montgomery, with whom time and absence had been at work, also, and to such an extent that the first dim glint of a halo was beginning to fix itself about the curly red head of her delinquent spouse.
"And a whole lot of good them good looks of his has done you, Nellie,"
rejoined Mr. Shrimplin, with a little cackle of mirth.
"He never even seen his youngest!" said Mrs. Montgomery, giving completely away to tears at this moving thought of the handy-man"s deprivation.
"I reckon he could even stand that," observed Mr. Shrimplin unfeelingly.
"I bet he never knowed "em apart."
"Why he was just wrapped up in them and me,--just wrapped up!" cried Mrs. Montgomery.
"Well, he had a blame curious way of showing it; no one would ever have suspected it of him!" said Mr. Shrimplin.
"I guess this wouldn"t have happened if his own folks had had more faith in Joe, that"s what wore on him,--I seen it wear on him!" declared Mrs.
Montgomery, in a tone of melancholy conviction.
"In the main I"m a truthful man, Nellie,--I wish to be anyhow; and I"ll tell you honest I was never able to see much in Joe aside from his good looks, which I know he had, now that you call them to mind. No,--I think a coat of tar and feathers would be about the thing for Joe; he"s the sort of bird to wear that kind of plumage. My opinion is that you"ve seen the last of him; no sense in your thinking otherwise, because you"re just leaving yourself open to disappointment!"
Yet Mr. Shrimplin remained to reinstate Mrs. Montgomery in her home. It was his expert hands that set up the cracked and rusted kitchen stove, and arranged the scanty and battered furniture in the several rooms. Nor was he satisfied to do merely this, for he presently despatched Arthur into town after an excellent a.s.sortment of groceries. All the while, however, he neglected no opportunity to elaborate for Nellie"s benefit his opinions concerning the handy-man"s utter worthlessness. At length this good Samaritan paused from his labors, and regaling himself with a fresh chew of tobacco and a parting gibe at Joe, set briskly off for his own home.
The street lamps demanded his immediate attention, and it was not until his day"s work was finished that he found opportunity to tell Mrs.
Shrimplin of these straits to which Nellie had been reduced. He concluded by reiterating his opinion that her sister had seen the last of Joe.
"I don"t know why you say that!" was Mrs. Shrimplin"s unexpected rejoinder.
"Ain"t I got mighty good reason to say it?" asked her husband. "Don"t you know, and ain"t every one always said Joe was just too low to live?
I"d like to know if it wasn"t you said he should never set his foot inside your door?"
"I might say it again, and then I mightn"t," rejoined Mrs. Shrimplin, with aggravating composure.
Two days later when the Shrimplins were at breakfast Mrs. Montgomery walked in on them. Her face was streaked with the traces of recent tears, but there was the light of happy vindication in her eyes, and a soiled and crumpled letter in her hand.
"Mercy, Nellie!" exclaimed her sister. "What"s the matter now?"
"Matter? Why, I"m so happy I just don"t know what to do! I"ve heard from my Joe!"
Mrs. Shrimplin rested her hands on her hips and surveyed Nellie with eyes that seemed to hold pity and contempt in about equal proportion.
"You"ve heard from Joe! Well, if he was my husband he"d have heard from me long ago!" she said.
And it occurred to Mr. Shrimplin that his wife was wonderfully consistent in her inconsistencies.
"Well, and what have _you_ got against Joe?" demanded Mrs. Montgomery with ready anger.
"She ain"t got nothing new, Nellie!" said Mr. Shrimplin, desirous of preserving the peace.
"Well, she"s mighty quick to misjudge him! Look!" and she drew from the envelope she held in her hand a dirty greenback. "He"s sent me twenty dollars--my man has! Does that look like he"d forgotten me or his children?" protested Nellie, in a voice of happy triumph.
"I"ll bet it"s counterfeit; I"d go slow on trying to pa.s.s it," said Mr.
Shrimplin when he had somewhat recovered from the shock of the sudden announcement.
It was plain that Nellie had never thought of any such possibility as this, for the light died out of her eyes.
"How can I find out whether it"s good or not?" she faltered.
"Let me look at it!" said Mr. Shrimplin.
Mrs. Montgomery placed the bill in his hands. Her face was keen and pinched with anxiety as she awaited the little man"s verdict.
"It"s genu-ine all right," he at length admitted grudgingly.
"I knew it was!" cried Nellie, her miserable suspicions put at rest.
"Well, you"d better spend it quick and get some good of it before old Joe comes back and wants the change!" advised Mr. Shrimplin.
"What does he say?" questioned Mrs. Shrimplin.
"He don"t say a word, there was nothing but the bill."
"Well, maybe it wasn"t Joe sent it after all!" said the little lamplighter.
"The writing on the envelope"s his, I"d know it anywhere. I guess he couldn"t trust himself to write; but he"ll come back, my man will! Maybe he"s on his way now!" exclaimed Nellie.
"Ain"t there no postmark?" asked Mrs. Shrimplin.