"You"re wrong Baechu!""About what?" She asks calmly
"You ... You know me" I say confidently
"I do?" She scoffs "Are you sure about that?"
Nodding my head
"Prove it" She demands
"You know that... I ... love you, don"t you?
Every part of my being, my existence, this life that I gave up on, became meaningful when I met you.
Each day, each second. I faller deeper.
I love you to the point of wanting you to myself, wanting you to be mine forever.
Wanting to cage you in and never let you become the bird that soars.
But to do that would shackle you, and I don"t want that.
I don"t want me to ever be a chain holding you to the ground.
Why didn"t I tell you who I am, did I not trust you? No.. I trust you.
I trust you more than I trust myself.
The truth Baechu. The truth Baechu.
I was scared.
Yes scared, I was scared ! Scared of myself.
Scared that If I told you, we could never Just be Dylan and Choo anymore.
That the weight of being S groups heir, would put expectations on me. That I can never live up to.
That I would .... Disappoint you. "
Clenching at my heart, I cant look in her direction.
Silence only remains until I feel a soft hand caressing my cheek, erasing tears which I never knew had formed.
Attempting to speak calmly, I can however pick up on the contradiction as her voice lacks the usual air, which she speaks with
"Dylan... I will never expect you to be anything... Anything more than yourself." She lifts my drooping head up staring into my eyes intensely, "But I don"t know how to help you... How can I help you when I don"t know where to start.
You do everything for me, and I know we don"t keep score. But if I can never help you... This isn"t fair.
You"ve been doing everything to stay in my world. Won"t you let me into yours?"
"So this is how she feels, You are just as afraid as me aren"t you"
"Baechu... if you want to enter my world. I will give you the key to the door, if the door doesn"t open I will break the lock, if the world then rejects you, I will destroy it. Choo, I will give you whatever you want.
I will give you everything.
On condition that you never say you haven"t done anything for me.
You"ve done enough. More than enough"
Trying to control my emotions I bite onto my lower lip as I attempt to speak despite my inability to remain calm " You know, Baechu.
I never had a dream until I met you. Life was just a daily repet.i.tion, A day in my life pa.s.sing, nothing more nothing less.
You changed that.... (In both my lives)
When you told me you wanted to become a singer and how it made you feel.
The smile you had, your aura, you shine, it was infectious. It was life altering.
It made me want to see what you see, feel what you felt, chase after you. I may not have had a dream but I knew, instinctively that by following you I would be somewhere greater..
And I know how easy its appears for me, I can just use my money and get whatever I want right? No setbacks no trials, I will always have another option unlike many others... but its not!"
I"m getting emotional with my voice raising higher and higher, "yes, I don"t play by the same rules as most would, but I"ve never cheated.
Everyday I see you put your entirety into walking towards your dream. I feel guilty that i"m not putting in nearly the same amount of effort as you. And that if I do, If I were in the same position! I would fail! I would fail completely.
My dream?
Yes I want to be a actor, a singer, a writer, a producer.
I want it all! I"ve never enjoyed anything or wanted it more.
But I would give everything up in a second, no less than a second! If you were not there by my side!"
Hora"s eyes hold no more anger but only deep calm, is now hold herself close. in somehow the most suffocating hug I ever had, as she just listening to me rant, "G.o.d I can"t believe our first fight is in a Gucci store.. This is just ridiculous"
"I just wanted to pretend to be a bad a.s.s CEO male lead character. Why am I crying ? How did it even end up like this"
Leaning into her neck, I whisper in a voice only the two of us can hear.
"Choo. Baechu.
I"ve never had anyone.
n.o.body has ever cared for me.
I don"t even know my parents faces.
I"ve been surrounded by strangers my whole life who never take the time to look at me.
What I can do for them.
They only see everything around me! My name. My status. My wealth.
f.u.c.k IT! Why won"t they just look at.... me. I"m here, aren"t I? "
A big lump forms on my chest as I find it hard to breath.
Putting her head against my chest, I can feel the thumping of my heartbeat slow as she speaks.
"Dylan... Oppa... I love you too. I never said it before right" She chuckles softly moving the fabric on my shirt. "Even if the rest of the world closes their eyes. I will never.
I will always be looking at you. My Sun, until I go blind.
You don"t have to try to be anything else.
You don"t have to feel like you have to change. who you are.
I don"t want anything else.
I want you. I will... accept you, okay. Always.
No matter what happens. I will listen to your pains. I will carry your hurt. I will be your shoulder to lean on.
Don"t treat me like a princess who needs to be protected. We are not filming a drama huh.
I nod my head, "I understand, we are are in this together ."
"Yes. Together. Together Forever" She smiles finding something amusing in her confession.
"Together Forever , hmm"
Slowly pulling my head down closer into her range, she slowly she leans in and kisses me softly and slowly, ignoring any possible onlookers.
"That"s my apology for getting angry, not listening and trying to run away.
Will you forgive me. Oppa?" She speaks cutely, tilting her head sideways as she looks up-towards me silently.
"That is so unfair!" I can"t help but scream internally.