CHAPTER X
THE WATERS OF MADNESS
Unexpected things happen in the Territories which Mr. Commissioner Sanders rules. As for example: Bones had gone down to the beach to "take the mail." This usually meant no more than receiving a mail-bag wildly flung from a dancing surf-boat. On this occasion Bones was surprised to discover that the boat had beached and had landed, not only the mail, but a stranger with his baggage.
He was a clean-shaven, plump man, in spotless white, and he greeted Bones with a friendly nod. "Morning!" he said. "I"ve got your mail."
Bones extended his hand and took the bag without evidence of any particular enthusiasm.
"Sanders about?" asked the stranger.
"Mr. Sanders is in residence, sir," said Bones, ponderously polite.
The other laughed. "Show the way," he said briskly.
Bones looked at the new-comer from the ventilator of his pith helmet to the soles of his pipe-clayed shoes. "Excuse me, dear old sir," he said, "have I the honour of addressin" the Secretary of State for War?"
"No," answered the other in surprise. "What made you think that?"
"Because," said Bones, with rising wrath, "he"s the only fellow that needn"t say "please" to me."
The man roared with laughter. "Sorry," he said. "_Please_ show me the way."
"Follow me, sir," said Bones.
Sanders was not "in residence," being, in fact, inspecting some recent--and native--repairs to the boilers of the _Zaire_.
The stranger drew up a chair on the stoep without invitation and seated himself. He looked around. Patricia Hamilton was at the far end of the stoep, reading a book. She had glanced up just long enough to note and wonder at the new arrival. "Deuced pretty girl that," said the stranger, lighting a cigar.
"I beg your pardon?" said Bones.
"I say that is a deuced pretty girl," said the stranger.
"And you"re a deuced brute, dear sir," said Bones, "but hitherto I have not commented on the fact."
The man looked up quickly. "What are you here," he asked--"a clerk or something?"
Bones did not so much as flush. "Oh, no," he said sweetly. "I am an officer of Houssas--rank, lieutenant. My task is to tame the uncivilized beast an" entertain the civilized pig with a selection of music. Would you like to hear our gramophone?"
The new-comer frowned. What brilliant effort of persiflage was to follow will never be known, for at that moment came Sanders.
The stranger rose and produced a pocket-book, from which he extracted a card and a letter. "Good morning, Commissioner!" he said. "My name"s Corklan--P. T. Corklan, of Corklan, Besset and Lyons."
"Indeed," said Sanders.
"I"ve got a letter for you," said the man.
Sanders took the note, opened it, and read. It bore the neat signature of an Under-Secretary of State and the embossed heading of the Extra-Territorial Office, and it commended Mr. P. T. Corklan to Mr.
Commissioner Sanders, and requested him to let Mr. Corklan pa.s.s without let or hindrance through the Territories, and to render him every a.s.sistance "compatible with exigencies of the Service" in his "inquiries into sugar production from the sweet potato."
"You should have taken this to the Administrator," said Sanders, "and it should bear his signature."
"There"s the letter," said the man shortly. "If that"s not enough, and the signature of the Secretary of State isn"t sufficient, I"m going straight back to England and tell him so."
"You may go to the devil and tell him so," said Sanders calmly; "but you do not pa.s.s into these Territories until I have received telegraphic authority from my chief. Bones, take this man to your hut, and let your people do what they can for him." And he turned and walked into the house.
"You shall hear about this," said Mr. Corklan, picking up his baggage.
"This way, dear old pilgrim," said Bones.
"Who"s going to carry my bag?"
"Your name escapes me," said Bones, "but, if you"ll glance at your visitin" card, you will find the name of the porter legibly inscribed."
Sanders compressed the circ.u.mstances into a hundred-word telegram worded in his own economical style.
It happened that the Administrator was away on a shooting trip, and it was his cautious secretary who replied--
"Administration to Sanders.--Duplicate authority here. Let Corklan proceed at own risk. Warn him dangers."
"You had better go along and tell him," said Sanders. "He can leave at once, and the sooner the better."
Bones delivered the message. The man was sitting on his host"s bed, and the floor was covered with cigar ash. Worst abomination of all, was a large bottle of whisky, which he had produced from one of his bags, and a reeking gla.s.s, which he had produced from Bones"s sideboard.
"So I can go to-night, can I?" said Mr. Corklan. "That"s all right. Now, what about conveyance, hey?"
Bones had now reached the stage where he had ceased to be annoyed, and when he found some interest in the situation. "What sort of conveyance would you like, sir?" he asked curiously.
(If you can imagine him pausing half a bar before every "sir," you may value its emphasis.)
"Isn"t there a steamer I can have?" demanded the man. "Hasn"t Sanders got a Government steamer?"
"Pardon my swooning," said Bones, sinking into a chair.
"Well, how am I going to get up?" asked the man.
"Are you a good swimmer?" demanded Bones innocently.
"Look here," said Mr. Corklan, "you aren"t a bad fellow. I rather like you."
"I"m sorry," said Bones simply.
"I rather like you," repeated Mr. Corklan. "You might give me a little help."
"It is very unlikely that I shall," said Bones. "But produce your proposition, dear old adventurer."