Afterward, she lay nude on the white sheets, with a warm breeze blowing in through the open windows. She felt safe for the first time in forever. Maybe since her parents were killed. No one had their hooks in her now. Riley had been invaluable for that, and she owed him more than she could pay, but that wasn"t the reason her heart began to beat harder at the thought of him returning to her here. She"d been clamping down on feelings for forever, and for the first time, it seemed okay to start letting go. She felt herself getting wet, not from dirty thoughts so much as affectionate ones. The desire to live life and be free was quickly soaring up within her.
When Riley entered the suite, she smiled and spread her legs to greet him the way every man probably wants. He entered the room and got an eye full that made him grin, then laugh.
"Well, h.e.l.lo there," he said, coming nearer.
"h.e.l.lo sweetie," she purred. "Why don"t you take a shower like I did, then come join me?"
He reached her side and leaned over to gently kiss her lips. "I have to wait a couple more minutes, huh?"
"Last time I make you wait. Wash away the night and come to me a new man. And make me a new woman." As she said the words, they struck her as the truth, that she felt like a new person unfolding after years of dormancy.
He walked away, stripping clothes off as he disappeared to take the fastest shower of his life. He returned buck naked just minutes later, smelling of aftershave, soap, and toothpaste, his tool swinging handsomely as he moved. He cuddled up next to her, one arm around her smooth flesh. The cleanliness of him made Jordan feel purified, just like he looked, felt, smelled, and tasted when her lips closed over his for a long kiss. She finally pulled back a moment, tracing his jawline. She missed the stubble beard that made him look so rugged, but right now she liked the smooth, fresh skin.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah. Better than ever." She kissed his shoulder and squeezed him close. "Will you make love to me?"
With a spark in his eyes, he replied, "I"ve been wanting to for a long time."
"No more waiting. I want to let it all go."
He kissed and hugged her close, her hardening nipples pressing into his chest. Jordan felt his strength and wanted to lose herself in it. For now she enjoyed the wholesome innocence of their closed-mouth kiss, and the simplicity of an embrace that went on for long minutes, neither of them stoking fires in the other"s flesh with a caress, just in their hearts. Wondering if he was waiting for her, she finally slid one hand down to his muscled a.s.s, giving him a squeeze. Riley moaned.
As one, they opened their mouths and their tongues found each other, gently probing and devouring. Jordan"s heart began to pound with affection and desire, a burst of arousal coursing down her legs and up her belly, where Riley"s hand pressed firmly. He moved his hand up to a swelling breast and she arched her back to press the heavy globe into him. Taking the hint, Riley kneaded her so that the nipple stiffened all the way and Jordan gasped into his hot mouth. Something about this intimacy affected her emotions more than before, and she felt her body"s reaction triggering her emotions, her heart trembling along with the rest of her.
His lips left hers to tenderly kiss her neck on the way to her nipple, which he briefly teased before slurping into his mouth, his hand working the other peak gently. Moisture gathered in her folds and she thrust both hands into his short hair, wanting more to grab onto. She felt herself surrendering and he hadn"t even touched her p.u.s.s.y yet. Without warning, he moved down, his wet tongue leaving a trail of fire over her belly. Jordan spread her legs, but not enough for Riley, who masterfully thrust her legs upward, splaying her for a ravaging tongue that began lapping at her exposed privates as if he fully owned them.
And in all likelihood, he did.
"Oh G.o.d, Riley," she whispered, a familiar surge gathering deep within. She"d meant him to keep this innocent, but she no longer cared. The sight of her feet up in the air, the white sheets and fluttering curtain of the room, and her man"s head vigorously bobbing as he devoured her p.u.s.s.y made her feel wild with abandon. The warm sea breeze felt wonderful on her skin, especially as it brushed her dripping p.u.s.s.y. She shook with the need to be filled while Riley stoked fires only his spurting c.u.m could extinguish.
With a soft cry, Jordan o.r.g.a.s.med, a deep relaxation spreading throughout her body and heart. She hadn"t truly been able to surrender with her guard up. Not once in all these years. She now sensed it as an inevitable force that, far from fighting, she wanted to welcome.
"Take me," she croaked, surprised by the huskiness in her voice.
Riley"s head came up, eyes that were full of l.u.s.t and love sending a jolt through her as they met hers. Like a wild animal, he leapt forward, landing like a panther on his hands and knees. His lips crushed her as Jordan wrapped both legs around him. With practiced ease, Riley"s c.o.c.k found her hot p.u.s.s.y and entered her. He thrust all the way in and they both groaned into each other"s mouth.
And Jordan forgot herself. She"d never had such emotional s.e.x, and it took her away to a world of sweeping adoration. She clung to Riley as he f.u.c.ked her. The gentle lovemaking was forgotten in a blur of pa.s.sion, but she didn"t care. This was what she wanted. All she wanted. She hadn"t known it until it started. She could die happy this way. But life was all around her. Inside her. And bursting to get out.
And she wasn"t the only one ready to explode. Riley paused and she knew he was trying not to c.u.m, but she wanted it all now.
"Fill me, Riley!"
"I want you forever," he murmured, thrusting again. Jordan began to rock her hips. Her p.u.s.s.y pulsed in ecstasy and the familiar weight of release gathered in her loins. Jordan felt him tense and his c.o.c.k swell inside her, and then his c.u.m struck the hot walls of her p.u.s.s.y. She clutched at him possessively and flew over the edge of pa.s.sion. Her o.r.g.a.s.m felt deeper and more sincere than any she"d ever had so that she gasped from emotional pleasure more than physical, her entire body grasping him as she surrendered, leaving her trembling.
Suddenly she felt vulnerable and exposed, but even as Riley collapsed atop her, he held her closely, tenderly, more so than a man of such strength might be expected to show, and she knew he"d protect her like no one ever had or could. She felt tears gather in her eyes and kissed him to prevent him from seeing how fully she"d submitted. Her heart pounded so hard that she almost felt giddy. She finally relaxed her body and let her weight fall more fully into the bed. Riley looked deep into her eyes.
"I love you," he whispered.
She grinned helplessly, tears finally springing from her eyes. "I love you, too," she admitted.
He kissed her again and her heart took flight, seeming like it would never come down.
Chapter 19 Tension.
With death behind them and life ahead, Riley and Jordan decided to get away from it all for a few weeks. They spent a few days in Spain, enjoying the beach, each other, and some romantic tourist locations. They visited Italy for a few days of wine tasting before flying to New Zealand, where winter offered skiing during the day and snowy nights snuggling by a fire. During a flight to Hawaii, they renewed their mile high membership and then spent another week lounging on beaches, scuba diving, and hiking through tropical forests. And, of course, having lots of s.e.x. Lots and lots of s.e.x. A stop in Los Angeles had them visiting famous sites there before catching shows in Las Vegas when not playing blackjack, where both Jordan and Riley came out more flush with cash than when they started. Even the Marine wondered if they should just live like this and never go back to Comus, but he missed his family.
Riley told them when he"d be back, getting a.s.surances that everything was under control without him. Jordan had finally called her relatives, vowing to come visit them soon, but that was something she wanted to put off just a little bit more because it involved questions she didn"t feel like answering just yet. That included asking what she was doing now, but she hadn"t figured out her new life with Riley just yet.
Mid-afternoon, their orange cab turned off I-270 onto Route 109 South toward Comus while Jordan lounged against Riley in the creaking, leather back seat, both watching the scenery go by. The flight to Dulles had been uneventful, from boarding to flying to picking up their scant luggage, for they"d been traveling light. And the more she thought about it, the more she liked uneventful and light. Her life hadn"t been that way in about a decade and she really wanted to keep the peacefulness that had filled her during their long siesta. It was time for fun. For play. Rest. Companionship.
Most of the fun in Comus would likely be with Riley, and there was hiking on the mountain, skinny dipping at Sunrise Meadow, and time at the gun range. Maybe she could take up horseback riding. They could certainly go for long motorcycle rides together. With all the money she had, neither of them had to work again for a long time, if ever, if they invested it wisely. Would boredom set in? That might almost be a refreshing problem. A rural town where, in theory, not much happened, sounded like a good way to spend the foreseeable future.
That raised the question of how long she and Riley would stay together. She hoped this was for good and saw no reason the relationship couldn"t last, except one. And she"d put that from her mind as often as she could, but with every mile that pa.s.sed, it came nearer to mattering. Facing it was inevitable. Facing it together was how she wanted everything to be from now on, but she worried that this issue might drive them apart.
As strong as the bond between them had become, a stronger one existed for him. He deserved to be happy and surrounded by his family. If Jordan"s presence caused a rift between Riley and Kris, or the rest of his family, then she"d already made up her mind to leave, as much as that made her want to cry like she never had before. But she couldn"t be the reason he and his family experienced turmoil.
The problem wasn"t between her and Riley. Everything seemed good there. Her only long term relationship had been Jake, or He Who Shall Not Be Named, as she"d been jokingly referring to him in her head. She wanted to forget everything about him, her time with him, and what she learned about relationships from that. Time with Jake might as well have been a lie. He"d been cheating the whole time, so in that sense it was a lie, but if that most basic agreement had been violated, then was everything between them false? Not really, but everything he"d ever said had been called into question.
She hadn"t really had to deal with some of that since breaking up with Jake, because she hadn"t even tried another relationship, but now she had one. The specter of Jake loomed over her and Riley, and she and Riley deserved better than that. She determined to act like Riley was the first. Maybe the only. But sometimes determination can"t overtake the fear in your heart. Could she just take a potion and make the past go away?
She"d been fidgeting for a while now, her leg rhythmically b.u.mping against Riley"s. She sometimes pulled the hand holding his away to wipe a sweaty palm on her jeans before entwining her fingers with his again. Random sighs escapes her. Lost in thought, her head on his shoulder, she hadn"t noticed how transparent her angst became. Not until he finally asked about it.
Riley kissed her temple. "Are you okay?"
The question surprised her. "Sure."
"C"mon. Be honest. We"ve been through too much to not be."
She squeezed his hand. "You"re right. Sorry. I"m just worried."
"About what? All the important stuff is over with."
She nodded, wanting to be cryptic about some of her answer so the cab driver didn"t know they"d returned from executing a terrorist. "That"s the funny thing. I"m comfortable with all of that. It"s the normalcy before me that worries me."
After a moment, he admitted, "I actually know what you mean."
"How? This is the life you came from."
"Yeah, but I was in the service for eight years. That"s a long time away from this life. And the life I lived as a Marine was anything but normal."
"That"s about the time my life"s been screwed up."
"See? We"re perfect for each other."
Jordan laughed, eyes on the houses dotting the landscape. "We can be screwed up together then. How did you adjust to being back here?"
"My family helped a lot."
She pursed her lips. "I"m not sure your family"s gonna help me. They"re suspicious of me, especially Kris. Pretty sure she doesn"t like me!"
"She"ll get over it."
"Maybe. Did you talk to her?"
"Since Barcelona? No."
"Then I doubt her viewpoint has changed. I can"t say I blame her."
"I can talk to her."
She wasn"t sure she wanted him to, mostly because she liked to handle things herself but also because she didn"t want to be a burden to him in any way. If his family got over it, it would only be because of something happening between Jordan and them, not a speech.
"What did you do when you first got back from the Marines?" she asked.
"Nothing. Went for rides. Hung out with family. I started doing stuff around the house, making it mine. Ordering furniture and other stuff. I slowly fell into doing security work for the winery and one thing led to another. Next thing I knew, I had a life. The only thing missing was you."
She rolled her eyes and started laughing. "You"re not going to tell me I complete you, are you?"
He joked, "You can go ahead and kill me if I do."
Shaking her head, she warned, "Please don"t repeat jokes like that around your family. A little too close to the truth."
"Yeah, I know."
"I"m not sure how happy they"ll be to see me."
He squeezed her hand. "Time heals all wounds."
"You know that"s not true, right?"
"Yeah. I"m just saying try not to worry about it or be in a rush to fix anything. There"s no deadline to reach or something."
"I just don"t want any more tension."
"I think we need time to just ourselves anyway, to get our life here going, so maybe we should avoid big family dinners or something. A little bit of time with them, here and there, will make things fade. Normalcy goes a long way."
"I really need that. I don"t want to hide in your house, but I think you"ve got a good idea there to not set myself up."
"Hang out with Chloe first. She"s the most trusting, which is not to say she"s a fool. She has a good instinct about people, and we all know it, so if she likes you, that will help with Kris in particular."
"Does that mean Kris doesn"t have a good instinct?"
"No. She"s just slow to forgive. She"s very protective of all of us, like she"s our mother. We"ve kidded her about that before."
Jordan didn"t have much to say about that and took a deep breath as the cab pulled into the long driveway. One of the dogs-she forgot which was which-ran across the yard and along the car"s path, then ahead to the big house. She noticed with trepidation the cars out front-Chloe"s, Tristan"s, and Connor"s. Kris" car wasn"t there but could"ve been at the barn farther back, and Quinn"s were likely in the garage. She suspected both were there. How this big, family welcome-home played out would tell Jordan a lot.
They hadn"t even gotten out of the parked taxi when Chloe appeared from inside, blonde ponytail bouncing as she ran to Riley and jumped into his arms, both of them laughing. All of the brothers followed, along with Victoria and Sophia. Kris was the only one not present. Was that a protest about Jordan? Jordan tried not to take it personally. She busied herself with going to the trunk and pulling out their bags even though the cabbie was doing that. Part of her just wanted to crawl into the trunk and pull it closed behind her, so she wouldn"t intrude.
But that feeling faded when Chloe came around the car"s rear with a big smile, giving her an unrestrained hug.
"I"m so glad you guys made it back!" Chloe said, squeezing her. Jordan flushed with relief. Chloe pulled back, eyes bright. "Wow. I can"t believe you guys actually did it. That"s so awesome. You should tell me all about it."
"I"m not sure you really want that kind of detail."
"Romanticize it for me," she joked, leading her toward the others.
To Jordan"s surprise, the other women gave her a hearty welcome, too, with Connor and Tristan seeming a little more restrained. Quinn remained the most stern, his smile tempered by a seriousness she was glad to see. At least he was being honest. Not that she doubted the others, especially Chloe, but if everyone had seemed to have moved on, she would"ve been suspicious. She found herself wanting to talk to the big guy more than the others, instead of avoid him.
Tristan and Connor brought the luggage as Quinn led Riley back into the house, the girls surrounding Jordan. On seeing that, the Marine winked at her as if to tell her to relax, that everything would be all right. She took the hint but still wanted a gla.s.s of wine the moment she saw several bottles open on the kitchen counter, where an early dinner barbeque was clearly ready to get started, buns, hot dogs, burgers, chicken, salad, fruits, and condiments making her stomach growl. Someone, likely Connor, had baked a cake with an American flag on the white icing.
Relief that Riley had come home okay to them overwhelmed her, but so did the certainty that she"d so nearly caused all of them unimaginable pain by killing him. In an instant, she felt again like an outsider, insecure and probably unwanted. Was it too late to run out the door? After a few minutes of everyone chatting, she finally asked if anyone minded if she poured herself a drink, and that"s when the party got started.
For everyone else, anyway. She began to feel glum. She had no rapport with any of them. They were talking about things that didn"t concern her because they"d known each other so long and she hadn"t been a part of their shared lives. It made her feel left out. Jordan hadn"t experienced some basics they touched upon, like high school, which she"d skipped, though she"d gotten the French equivalent of a GED. The isolation felt awful and she began working on the wine faster than she probably should have.
Riley kept an eye on her, though, and noticed her quietness. He made a point of pulling her into a few subjects, now that he knew what she had in common with his family. The tension faded a bit, but not enough. When Riley planted the first big kiss on her in front of everyone, she flushed, not used to public displays of affection, at least not in front of his family. After he did it again, she wondered if he was making a show, for his family, of having figuratively embraced her and moved on from their initial meeting. If so, it appeared to work, as no one seemed hung up on much of anything.
Except maybe herself. Was their antipathy all in her head? Was she being too sensitive? She"d never been around the family of someone she"d tried to kill before. Maybe she was the only one not pretending the past didn"t exist. Could it be time to just be one of the girls?
The only problem was that she"d never been that. Even before her parents were killed, she"d been a tomboy, like Kris, and while Victoria, Sophia, and Chloe weren"t overly girlish, the one woman she probably would"ve gotten along with the best-were it not for circ.u.mstances-wasn"t here. No one had mentioned Kris after Riley learned she was at the barn dealing with a horse and expected to come over at some point. Still, there was no sign of her an hour later.
In the meantime, while working on emptying her second wine gla.s.s, and eating a cheeseburger, talk somehow turned to that day she"d tried to kill Riley. At first it was casual, but the conversation slowly became a little more serious. Jordan wondered if her pursed lips and stone-faced expression were somehow channeling the angst right into the room. She finally couldn"t take it anymore and took a deep breath.
"Listen," she began, "I just want to apologize to everyone. I know Riley has moved on from it, but I wouldn"t blame anyone else for not being ready to. Now, or ever."
Silence greeted her words, expression turning a little somber, as if everyone knew this had to be addressed but no one wanted to.
"Well," Chloe began, sighing, "I"ve forgiven you. Riley"s word about you is good enough for me. I have my own sense about you and you don"t strike me as being some horrible person or something."
Tristan nodded slowly. "It"s a tough one, for sure, but if I can"t trust Riley"s judgment, there"s not much left to rely on."
"That works for me, too," Victoria added, as she entwined her hands with Tristan"s.
Connor took a sip of wine and then remarked, "I guess I can look at the whole thing as you being given a mission. Following orders."
"That"s a good point," added Sophia, who had one arm around him. "It"s not like it was personal, though I guess that"s an odd business to be in."
"It"s not much different from the missions I went on," said Riley, "so while I understand everyone"s ambivalence, if you think she"s a cold-blooded killer, then you think I am, too. We"re more similar than you know."
Most of them nodded, but no one spoke. Jordan gulped another mouthful of wine. "I don"t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, though maybe I"m more uncomfortable about it than the rest of you. To say I feel embarra.s.sed doesn"t quite hit the mark, but maybe you know what I mean. I just feel like it"s the elephant in the room. And I don"t know what I can say or do to get across how sorry I am."
"You feel guilty," observed Quinn, the only one who hadn"t voiced forgiveness yet.