"I wonder if you could!" she said with a sudden flush. "No, it"s no use," she went on. "And it"s nothing. Augustin, if you tell mother you found me crying, I"ll never----"
"You know quite well that I never tell anybody anything," said I, rather offended.
"Then go away, dear," urged Victoria.
I went away. I had been feeling very lonely myself, and had sought out Victoria for company"s sake. However, I went and walked alone down to the edge of the river. It was clear that Victoria did not want me, and apparently I could do nothing for her. I have never found myself able to do very much for people, except those who did not deserve to have anything done for them. Perhaps poor Victoria didn"t, but I was not aware of her demerits then. I repeated to the river my old reflection: "I don"t see that it"s much use being king, you know," said I as I flung a pebble and looked across at the towers of Waldenweiter. "That fellow"s better off than I am," said I; and I wished again that Victoria had not sent me away. There is a period of life during which one is always being sent away, and it is not quite over for me yet in spite of my dignity.
At last came the crash. A little carelessness born of habit and impunity, the treachery of the old boatman under the temptation of a gold piece, the girl"s lack of _savoir faire_ when charged with the offence--here was enough, and more than enough. I recollect being summoned to my mother"s room late one evening, just about my bedtime. I went and found her alone with Victoria. The Princess sat in her great arm-chair; Victoria was leaning against the wall when I entered; her handkerchief was crushed in one hand, the other hand clenched by her side.
"Augustin," said the Princess, "Victoria and I go to Biarritz to-morrow."
Victoria"s quick breathing was her only comment. My mother told me in brief, curt, offensive phrases that Victoria had been carrying on a flirtation with our opposite neighbour. I have no doubt that I looked surprised.
"You may well wonder!" cried my mother. "If she could not remember what she was herself, she might have remembered that the King was her brother."
"I"ve done nothing----" Victoria began.
"Hold your tongue," said my mother. "If you were in Styria, instead of here, you"d be locked up in your own room for a month on bread and water; yes, you may think yourself lucky that I only take you to Biarritz."
"Styria!" said Victoria with a very bitter smile. "If I were in Styria I should be beheaded, I daresay, or--or knouted, or something. Oh, I know what Styria means! Krak taught me that."
"I wish the Baroness was here," observed the Princess.
"You"d tell her to beat me, I suppose?" flashed out my sister.
"If you were three years younger----" began my mother with perfect outward composure. Victoria interrupted her pa.s.sionately.
"Oh, never mind my age. I"m a child still. Come and beat me!" she cried, a.s.suming the air of an Iphigenia.
To this day I am of opinion that she ran a risk in giving this invitation; it was well on the cards that the Princess might have accepted it. Indeed had it been Styria--but it was not Styria. My mother turned to me with a cold smile.
"You perceive," said she, "the spirit in which your sister meets me because I object to her compromising herself with this wretched baron.
She accuses me of persecution, and talks as though I were an executioner."
I had been looking very curiously at Victoria. She was in a dressing-gown, having been called, apparently, from her bedroom; her hair was over her shoulders. She looked most prettily woe-begone--like Juliet before her angry father, or, as I say, Iphigenia before the knife. In a moment she broke out again.
"n.o.body feels for me," she complained. "What can Augustin know of it?"
"I know," observed my mother. "But although I know----"
"Oh, you"ve forgotten," cried Victoria scornfully.
For a moment my mother flushed. I was glad on all accounts that Victoria did not repeat her previous invitation now. On the contrary, when she had looked at Princess Heinrich, she gave a sudden frightened sob, rushed across the room, and flung herself on her knees at my feet.
"You"re the king!" she cried. "Protect me, protect me!"
Throughout all this very painful interview I seemed to hear as it were echoes of the romances which I had read on Victoria"s recommendation; the reminiscence was particularly strong in this last exclamation.
However, it is not safe to conclude that feelings are not sincere because they are expressed in conventional phrases. These formulas are moulds into which our words run easily; though the moulds be hollow, the stuff that fills them may be solid enough.
"Why, you don"t want to marry him?" I exclaimed, much embarra.s.sed at being prematurely forced into functions of a _pere de famille_.
"I"ll never marry anybody else," moaned Victoria. My mother"s face was the picture of disgust and scorn.
"That"s another thing," said she. "At least the King would not hear of such a marriage as this."
"Do you want to marry him?" I asked Victoria, chiefly, I confess, in curiosity. I had risen--or fallen--in some degree to my position, and it seemed strange to me that my sister should wish to marry this Baron Fritz.
"I--I love him, Augustin," groaned Victoria.
"She knows it"s impossible, as well as you do," said my mother. "She doesn"t really want to do it."
Victoria cried quietly, but made no reply or protest. I was bewildered; I did not understand then how we may pa.s.sionately desire a thing which we would not do, and may s.n.a.t.c.h at the opposition of others as an excuse alike for refusal and for tears. Looking back, I do not think had we set Victoria free in the boat, and put the sculls in her hands, that she would have rowed over to Waldenweiter. But did she, then, deserve no pity? Perhaps she deserved more; for not two weak creatures like the Princess (I crave her pardon) and myself stood between her and her wishes, but she herself--the being that she had been fashioned into, her whole life, her nature, and her heart, as our state had made them. If our soul be our prison, and ourself the jailer, in vain shall we plan escape or offer bribes for freedom; wheresoever we go we carry the walls with us, and if death, then death alone can unlock the gates.
The scene grew quieter. Victoria rose, and threw herself into a chair in a weary, puzzled desolation; my mother sat quite still, with eyes intent on the floor, and lips close shut. A sense of awkwardness grew strong on me; I wanted to get out of the room. They would not fight any more now; they would be very distant to one another; and, moreover, it seemed clear that Victoria did not propose to marry Baron Fritz. But what about poor Baron Fritz? I approached my mother, and whispered a question. She answered me aloud.
"I have written to Prince von Hammerfeldt. A letter from him will, I have no doubt, be enough to insure us against further impertinence."
Victoria dabbed her eyes, but no protest came from her.
"We shall start mid-day to-morrow," the Princess pursued, "unless, of course, Victoria refuses to accompany me." Her voice took a tinge of irony. "Possibly your wishes may persuade her, Augustin, if mine can not."
Victoria raised her head suddenly, and said very distinctly:
"I will do what Augustin tells me." The emphatic word in that sentence was "Augustin."
My mother smiled bitterly; she understood well enough the implicit declaration of war, the appeal from her to me, the shifting of allegiance. I daresay that she saw the absurdity of putting a boy not yet sixteen into such a position; but I know that I felt it much more strongly.
"Oh, you"d better go, hadn"t you?" I asked uncomfortably. "You wouldn"t be very jolly here, you know."
"I"ll do as you tell me, Augustin."
"Yes, we are both at your orders," said my mother.
It crossed my mind that their journey would not be a very pleasant one, but I did not feel able to enter into that side of the question. I resented this reference to me, and desired to be rid of the affair.
"I should like you to do as mother suggests," said I.
"Very well, Augustin," said Victoria, and she rose to her feet. She was a tall, graceful girl, and looked very stately as she walked by her mother. The Princess made no movement or sign; the grim smile persisted on her lips. After a moment or two of wavering I followed my sister from the room. She was just ahead of me in the pa.s.sage, moving toward her bedroom with a slow, listless tread. An impulse of sympathy came upon me; I ran after her, caught her by the arm, and kissed her.
"Cheer up," I said.
"Oh, it"s all right, Augustin," said she. "I"ve only been a fool."
There seemed nothing else to do, so I kissed her again.
"Fancy, Biarritz with mother!" she moaned. Then she turned on me suddenly, almost fiercely. "But what"s the good of asking anything of you? You"re afraid of mother still."
I drew back as though she had struck me. A moment later her arms were round my neck.