At the sight of the pale face the girl upturned to her, Mrs.
Terriberry"s courage nearly failed her in the task to which she had nerved herself.
"Essie," she faltered, twisting her rings nervously, finally blurting out, "I"m afraid you"ll have to go, Essie."
The girl started violently.
"Go?" she gasped. "Go?"
Mrs. Terriberry nodded, relieved that it was out.
"But why? Why?" It seemed too incredible to believe. This was the very last thing she had expected, or thought of.
Mrs. Terriberry avoided her eyes; it was even harder than she had antic.i.p.ated. Why hadn"t she let "Hank" Terriberry tell her himself! Mrs.
Terriberry was one of that numerous cla.s.s whose naturally kind hearts are ever warring with their b.u.mp of caution.
She was sorry now that she had been so impulsive in telling him all that Dr. Harpe had whispered over the afternoon tea at Mrs. Symes"s now fashionable Thursday "At Home." It was the first of the coveted cards which Mrs. Terriberry had received and Dr. Harpe took care to adroitly convey the information that the invitation was due to her, and Mrs.
Terriberry was correspondingly grateful.
"You can"t afford to keep her; you simply can"t afford it, Mrs.
Terriberry," Dr. Harpe had whispered earnestly in a confidential corner.
"But," she had protested in feeble loyalty, "but I _like_ Essie."
"Of course you do," Dr. Harpe had agreed magnanimously; "so do I; she"s a really beautiful girl, but you know how it is in a small town and I am telling you for your own good that you can"t afford to harbor her."
"I couldn"t think of turning her out just when she needs a friend," Mrs.
Terriberry had replied with some decision, and Dr. Harpe"s face had hardened slightly at the answer.
"It"s your own affair, naturally," she had returned indifferently; "but I"ll have to find accomodations elsewhere. If living in the same house would injure me professionally, merely a boarder, you can guess what it will do to you in a business way, and," she had added significantly, "socially."
Mrs. Terriberry had looked startled. After hanging to the fringe until she was all but exhausted, it was small wonder that she had no desire to again go through the harrowing experience of overcoming Society"s objections to a hotelkeeper"s wife.
"Certainly I don"t blame you for hanging on to her as long as you can,"
Dr. Harpe had added, "and of course you would be the last to hear all the gossip that there is about her. But, on the whole, isn"t it rather a high price to pay for--well, for a biscuit-shooter"s friendship? Such people really don"t count, you know."
Mrs. Terriberry who had once shot biscuits in a "Harvey"s Eating House"
murmured meekly--
"Of course not." But instantly ashamed of her weak disloyalty she had declared with a show of spirit, "However, unless Hank says she must go she can stay, for Essie has come pretty close to bein" like my own girl to me."
Dr. Harpe had been satisfied to let it rest at that, for she felt sure enough of Terriberry"s answer.
"He needs my money, but if more pressure is necessary,"--she sn.i.g.g.e.red at the recollection of Mr. Terriberry"s sentimental leanings--"I can spend an hour with him in the light of the "meller moon.""
Again Dr. Harpe was right. Mr. Terriberry needed the money, also his fears took instant alarm at the thought of losing so popular and influential a guest, one, who, as he told Mrs. Terriberry emphatically, could do him a power of harm. The actual dismissal of the girl who had grown to womanhood under his eyes he wisely left to his wife.
The girl stood up now, a slender, swaying figure: white, desolate, with uplifted arms outstretched, she looked like a storm-whipped flower.
"Oh, what shall I do! Where shall I go!"
The low, broken-hearted cry of despair set Mrs. Terriberry"s plain face in lines of distress.
"Essie, Essie, don"t feel so bad!" she begged chokingly.
The girl"s answer was a swift look of bitter reproach.
"You can stay here until you find some place that suits you."
The girl shook her head.
"To-morrow I"ll go--somewhere."
"Don"t feel hard toward me, Essie," and she would have taken the girl"s hand, but she drew it quietly away and stood with folded arms in an att.i.tude of aloofness which was new to her.
"It"s not that; it"s only that I don"t want your--pity. I don"t think that I want anything you have to give. You have hurt me; you have cut me to the quick and something is happening--has happened--_here_!" She laid both hands upon her heart. "I feel still and cold and sort of--impersonal inside."
"Oh, Essie!"
"I understand perfectly, Mrs. Terriberry. You like me--you like me very much, but you are one kind of a coward, and of what value is a coward"s friendship or regard? I don"t mean to be impertinent--I"m just trying to explain how I feel. In your heart you believe in me, but you are afraid--afraid of public opinion--afraid of being left out of the teas and card parties which mean more to you than I do. You"ve known me all my life and fail me at the first test."
"I hate to hear you talk like that; it doesn"t sound like Essie Tisdale." But in her heart she knew the girl was right. She was a coward; she had not the requisite courage to set her face against the crowd, but must needs turn and run with them while every impulse and instinct within her pulled the other way.
"Doesn"t it?" The girl smiled bitterly. "Why should it? Can"t you see--don"t you understand that you"ve helped kill _that_ Essie Tisdale--that blundering, ignorant Essie Tisdale who liked everybody and believed in everybody as she thought they liked and believed in her?"
"Dear me! oh, dear me!" Mrs. Terriberry rubbed her forehead and groaned pathetically.
Any consecutive line of thought outside the usual channels pulled Mrs.
Terriberry down like a spell of sickness. She looked jaded from the present conversation and her thoughts ran together bewilderingly.
"I know to-night how an outlaw feels when the posse"s at his heels and he rides with murder in his heart," the girl went on with hardness in her young voice. "I know to-night why he makes them pay dear for his life when he takes his last stand behind a rock."
"Oh, Essie, don"t!" Mrs. Terriberry wrung her garnet and moonstone-ringed fingers together in distress. "You mustn"t get reckless!"
"What real difference does it make to you or anybody else how I get?"
she demanded fiercely, and added: "You are showing me how much when you advertise to all the town by turning me out that you believe their evil tongues."
"I"m goin" to talk to Hank again----" but Essie stopped her with a vehement gesture.
"You needn"t. I don"t want pity, I tell you, I don"t want favors. I am going to-morrow. There is some way out. There is a place in the world for me somewhere and I"ll find it."
She turned away and walked toward the corral where the black omnibus horses nickered softly at her coming, while Alphonse and Gaston stood on their hind legs and squealed a vociferous welcome.
"My only friends----" and she smiled bitterly.
She winced when she saw a new face pa.s.sing the kitchen door and realized that Mr. Terriberry already had filled her place. It was only one small thing more, but it brought again the feeling that the world was sinking beneath her feet.
She stood for a long time with her forehead resting on her folded arms which lay upon the top rail of the corral. The big "bus horses shoved her gently with their soft muzzles, impatient to be noticed, but she did not lift her head until a step upon the hard-trodden yard roused her from her apathy of dull misery. She glanced around indifferently to see old Edouard Dubois lumbering toward her in the fast gathering dusk.