""But, I never said I cared for you," said she.
""Oh, well--you know what I mean--you"re my friend, you know, and my only comfort," said I.
"At this she went off again.
""Well, then," said I, "what are you?"
"She sat and thought.
""Well," said she, "I won"t be your friend, for that"s too cold; I won"t be your sister, for that"s too familiar. Let me see--what ought I to be? I can"t be your guardian, for I"m too volatile--what, then, can I be? Oh, I see! I"ll tell you, Captain Randolph, what I"ll be. I"ll pretend that I"m your aunt. There, sir."
""Well, then," said I, "my own dear aunt."
""No. That won"t do--you are always absurd when you grow affectionate or sentimental. You may call me aunt--but no sentiment."
""Well, Aunt Louie."
"She demurred a little, but finally, I gained my point. After this she gave me some good advice, and I left and came straight to you, to find your room empty."
"Advice? You said she gave you advice? What was it?"
"Well, the advised me to get immediate leave of absence, and go home for a time. I could then have a breathing-s.p.a.ce to decide on my future."
"Capital! Why, what a perfect little trump Louie is! Jack, my boy, that"s the very thing you"ll have to do."
Jack shook his head.
"Why not?"
He shook his head again.
"Well, what did you say to Louie?"
"Why, I told her that it was impossible. She insisted that it was the very thing I ought to do, and wanted to know why I wouldn"t. I refused to tell, whereupon she began to coax and tease, and tease and coax, and so the end of it was, I told her."
"What was it?"
"Why, I told her I couldn"t think of going away where I couldn"t see her; that I would hare blown my brains out by this time if it weren"t for her; and that I"d blow my brains out when I went home, if it weren"t for the hope of fleeing her to-morrow."
"The devil you did!" said I, dryly. "What! after being mittened?"
"Yes," said Jack. "It was on my mind to say it, and I said it."
"And how did Louie take it?"
"Not well. She looked coolly at me, and said:
""Captain Randolph, I happened to be speaking sensibly. You seemed to be in earnest when you asked for my opinion, and I gave it."
""And I was in earnest," I said.
""How very absurd!" said she. "The fable of the shepherd-boy who cried wolf, is nothing to you. It seems to be a fixed habit of yours to go about to all the young ladies of your acquaintance threatening to blow your brains out. Now, in getting up a sentiment for my benefit, you ought at least to have been original, and not give to me the same second-hand one which you had already sent to Number Three."
"She looked so cold, that I felt frightened.
""You"re--you"re--not offended?" said I. "I"m sure--"
""Oh, no," said she, interrupting me; "I"m not offended. I"m only disappointed in you. Don"t apologize, for you"ll only make it worse."
""Well," said I, "I"m very much obliged to you for your advice--but circ.u.mstances over which I have no control prevent me from taking it.
There--is that satisfactory?"
""Quite, "said Louie, and her old smile returned.
""Do you wish me to tell you what the circ.u.mstances are?"
""Oh, no--oh, don"t--" she cried, with an absurd affectation of consternation. "Oh, Captain Randolph--please. Ple-e-e-aase, Captain Randolph--don"t."
"So I didn"t."
"Well, Jack," said I, "how in the world did you manage to carry on such conversations when the rest of the family were there? Wouldn"t they overhear you?"
"Oh, no. You see they were in one room at their whist, and we were in the other. Besides, we didn"t speak loud enough for them to hear-- except occasionally."
"So Louie didn"t take offence."
"Oh, no, we made it up again at once. She gave me a beaming smile as I left. I"ll see her again this evening."
"And the others through the day?"
"Oh, yes," said Jack, with a sigh.
"Miss Phillips?"
"Of course--and then I get a note from Number Three, requiring an immediate answer--and then off I go to the widow, who will have a new grievance; and then, after being used up by all these, I fly to Louie for comfort and consolation."
I shook my head.
"You"re in for it, old chap," I said, solemnly, "and all that I can say is this: Take Louie"s advice, and flit."
"Not just yet, at any rate," said Jack, rising; and with these words he took his departure.
CHAPTER XIX.