"Yes--the widow."
"But how did she hear about it so soon?"
"Oh, easy enough. It"s all over town now, you know. Her friends here heard of it, and some were incredulous, and others were indignant. At any rate, both cla.s.ses rushed with delightful unanimity to inform her, so you may imagine the state of mind I found her in.
"You can easily imagine what she said. I don"t think much of your imagination, Macrorie, but in this case it don"t require a very vivid one. The worst of it is, she was quite right to feel indignant. The only thing about it all that gave me the smallest relief, was the fact that she didn"t do the pathetic. She didn"t shed a tear. She simply questioned me. She was as stiff as a ramrod, and as cold as a stone.
There was no mercy in her, and no consideration for a fellow"s feelings. She succeeded in making out that I was the most contemptible fellow living."
"And what did you say?"
"Say? What could I say? She forced me to own up about the widow. Hang it, you know I can"t lie. So, after trying to dodge her questions, I answered them. She wouldn"t let me dodge them. But there was one thing left. I swore to her, by all that was true, that I didn"t care a fig for the widow, that my engagement with her arose altogether through a mistake. She pressed me hard on this, and I had to tell this too."
"What? Look here, Jack--you didn"t drag in Louie into your confounded sc.r.a.pe?"
"Do you think I"m such a villain as that?" said Jack, indignantly. "No --of course I didn"t. Louie--I"d die first. No. I told her some story about my mistaking her for a friend, whose name I didn"t mention. I told her that I took the widow"s hand by mistake--just in fun, you know--thinking it was my friend, and all that; and before I knew it the widow had nabbed me."
"Well?"
"Well, she didn"t condescend to ask the name of my friend. She thought the widow was enough at a time, I suppose, and so she asked me about the state of my feelings toward her. And here I expressed myself frankly. I told her that my only desire was to get out of her clutches --that it was all a mistake, and that I was in an infernal sc.r.a.pe, and didn"t know how to get out of it.
"Such strong language as this mollified her a little, and she began to believe me. Yet she did not soften altogether. At last, I pitched into the widow hot and heavy. This restored her to her usual self. She forgave me altogether. She even said that she was sorry for me. She hinted, too, that if she ever saw the widow, she"d have it out with her."
"Heaven forbid!" said I. "Keep them apart, Jack, if you can."
Jack groaned.
"So it"s all right, is it? I congratulate you--as far as it"s worth congratulation, you know. So you got out of it, did you? A "full, fresh, frank, free, formal, ample, exhaustive, and perfectly satisfactory explanation," hey? That"s the style of thing, is it?"
Jack gnashed his teeth.
"Come, now--old boy--no chaff. I"m beyond that. Can"t stand it. Fact is, you haven"t heard the whole story yet, and I don"t feel like telling the rest of it, if you interrupt a fellow with your confounded humbug."
"Go ahead--don"t fear, Jack--I won"t chaff."
Jack drew a long breath.
"Well, then--I took her out for a drive. We had a very good time, though both of us were a little preoccupied, and I thought she had altered awfully from what she used to be; and then, you know, after leaving her, I went to see the widow."
"You didn"t tell her where you were going, of course?"
"So," said Jack, with a sigh. "Well, you see, I went to the widow, and I found that she had heard about my calling on Miss Phillips, and driving out with her for a couple of hours, and I don"t know what else.
She was calm, and quiet, and cool, and simply wanted to know what it all meant. Well, do you know that sort of coolness is the very thing that I can"t stand. If she"d raved at me, or scolded, or been pa.s.sionate, or gone on in any kind of a way, I could have dealt with her; but with a person like that, who is so calm, and cool, and quiet, I haven"t the faintest idea how to act.
"I mumbled something or other about "old friendship"--"stranger in a strange land"--horrid rot--what an a.s.s she must have thought me!--but that"s the way it was. She didn"t say any thing. She began to talk about something else in a conventional way--the weather, I think. I couldn"t do any thing. I made a vague attempt at friendly remonstrance with her about her coolness; but she didn"t notice it. She went on talking about the weather. She was convinced that it would snow. I, for my part, was convinced that there was going to be a storm--a hurricane --a tornado--any thing. But she only smiled at my vehemence, and finally I left, with a general idea that there was thunder in the air.
"Well, you know, I then went off to see Louie. But I didn"t get any satisfaction there. The other girls were present, and the aunt. There wasn"t any whist, and so I had to do the agreeable to the whole party.
I waited until late, in the hope that some chance might turn up of a private chat with Louie, but none came. So at last I came home, feeling a general disgust with the world and the things of the world."
"Rather hard, that," said I, as Jack relapsed into moody silence.
"Hard?" said he; "that was yesterday, but it was nothing to what I met with to-day."
"To-day?--why, what"s up worse than that?"
"Every thing. But I"ll go on and make a clean breast of it. Only don"t laugh at me, Macrorie, or I"ll cut."
"Laugh? Do I ever laugh?"
Jack took a few more puffs, and relieved his sorrow-laden breast by several preliminary and preparatory sighs, after which he proceeded:
"To-day," he began, "I got up late. I felt heavy. I antic.i.p.ated a general row. I dressed. I breakfasted, and, just as I was finishing, the row began. A letter was brought in from the post-office. It was from lumber Three."
"Number Three?" I cried.
"Number Three," repeated Jack. "As if it wasn"t bad enough already, she must come forward to add herself to those who were already crushing me to the earth, and driving me mad. It seemed hard, by Jove! I tell you what it is, old chap, n.o.body"s so remorseless as a woman. Even my duns have been more merciful to me than these friends whom I love. It"s too bad, by Jove, it is!
"Well. Number Three"s letter was simply tremendous. She had heard every thing. I"ve already told you that she keeps the run of me pretty well, though how she manages it I can"t imagine--and now it seems she heard, on the same day, of my engagement to the widow, and of the arrival of Miss Phillips, to whom I was also engaged. This news seemed to drive her wild with indignation. She mentioned these facts to me, and ordered me to deny them at once. She declared that it was impossible for any gentleman to act so dishonorably, and said that nothing but the character of her informant could lead her to ask me to deny such foul slanders.
"That"s the way she put it. That"s the style of thing she flung at me when I was already on my back. That"s Number Three for you! And the worst of it is, I don"t know what to say in reply. I tell you what it is now, Macrorie, that was a pretty tough beginning for the day. I felt it, and I left my room with a dark presentiment in my mind, and the same general idea of a brooding thunder-storm, which I had experienced the evening before.
"Then I went to see Miss Phillips, and this was my frame of mind. I found her calm, cold, and stiff as an iceberg. Not a single kind word.
No consideration for a fellow at all. I implored her to tell me what was the matter. She didn"t rail at me; she didn"t reproach me; but proceeded in the same cruel, inconsiderate, iceberg fashion, to tell me what the matter was. And I tell you, old boy, the long and the short of it was, there was the very mischief to pay, and the last place in Quebec that I ought to have entered was that particular place. But then, how did I know? Besides, I wanted to see her."
"What was it?" I asked, seeing Jack hesitate.
"What! Why, who do you think had been there? The widow herself! She had come to call on Miss Phillips, and came with a fixed design on me. In a few moments she managed to introduce my name. Trotting me out in that fashion doesn"t strike me as being altogether fair, but she did it. Mrs.
Llewelopen, who is Miss Phillips"s aunt, took her up rather warmly, and informed her that I was engaged to Miss Phillips. The widow smiled, and said I was a sad man, for I had told her, when I engaged myself to her, that my affair with Miss Phillips was all broken off, and had repeated the same thing two evenings before. She also informed them that I visited her every day, and was most devoted. To all this Miss Phillips had to listen, and could not say one word. She had sense enough, however, to decline any altercation with the widow, and reserve her remarks for me. And now, old boy, you see what I caught on entering the presence of Miss Phillips. She did not weep; she did not sigh; she did not reproach; she did not cry--she simply questioned me, standing before me cold and icy, and flinging her bitter questions at me. The widow had said this and that. The widow had repeated such and such words of mine. The widow had also subjected her to bitter shame and mortification. And what had I to say? She was too much of a lady to denounce or to scold, and too high-hearted even to taunt me; too proud, too lofty, to deign to show that she felt the cut; she only questioned me; she only asked me to explain such and such things. Well, I tried to explain, and gave a full and frank account of every thing, and, as far as the widow was concerned, I was perfectly truthful. I declared again that it was all a mistake, and that I"d give any thing to get rid of her. This was all perfectly true, but it wasn"t by any means satisfactory to Miss Phillips. She"s awfully high-strung, you know. She couldn"t overlook the fact that I had given I the widow to understand that it was all broken off with us. I had never said so, but I had let the widow think so, and that was enough.
"Well, you know, I got huffy at last, and said she didn"t make allowances for a fellow, and all that I told her that I was awfully careless, and was always getting into confounded sc.r.a.pes, but that it would all turn out right in the end, and some day she"d understand it all. Finally, I felt so confoundedly mean, and so exactly like some infernal whipped cur, that I then and there asked her to take me, on the spot, as I was, and fulfil her vow to me. I swore that the widow was nothing to me, and wished she was in Jericho. At this she smiled slightly, and said that I didn"t know what I was saying, and, in fact, declined my self-sacrificing offer. So there I was--and I"ll be hanged, Macrorie, isn"t it odd?--there"s the third person that"s refused to marry me off-hand! I vow I did what I could. I offered to marry her at once, and she declined just as the others did. With that I turned the tables on her, reproached her for her coldness, told her that I had given her the highest possible mark of my regard, and bade her adieu.
We shook hands. Hers was very languid, and she looked at me quite indifferently. I told her that she"d feel differently to-morrow, and she said perhaps she might And so I left her.
"Well, then, I had the widow to visit, but the letter and the affair with Miss Phillips had worn out my resources. In any ordinary case, the widow was too many guns for me, but, in a case like this, she was formidable beyond all description. So I hunted up the chaplain, and made him go with me. He"s a good fellow, and is acquainted with her a little, and I knew that she liked him. So we went off there together.
Well, do you know, Macrorie, I believe that woman saw through the whole thing, and knew why the chaplain had come as well as I did. She greeted me civilly, but rather shortly; and there was a half-smile on her mouth, confound it! She"s an awfully pretty woman, too! We were there for a couple of hours. She made us dine--that is to say, I expected to dine as a matter of course, and she invited the chaplain. So we stayed, and I think for two hours I did not exchange a dozen words with her.
She directed her conversation almost exclusively to the chaplain. I began to feel jealous at last, and tried to get her attention, but it was no go. I"m rather dull, you know--good-natured, and all that, but not clever--while the chaplain is one of the cleverest men going; and the widow"s awfully clever, too. They got beyond me in no time. They were talking all sorts of stuff about Gregorian chants, ecclesiastic symbolism, mediaeval hymns, the lion of St Mark, chasuble, alb, and all that sort of thing, you know, no end, and I sat like a log listening, just the same as though they spoke Chinese, while the widow took no more notice of me than if I"d been a Chinaman. And she kept up that till we left. And that was her way of paying me off. And the chaplain thought she was an awfully clever woman, and admired her--no end. And I felt as jealous as Oth.e.l.lo.
"Then I hurried off to Louie. But luck was against me. There was a lot of fellows there, and I didn"t get a chance. I only got a pleasant greeting and a bright look, that was all. I was longing to get her into a corner, and have a little comfort, and a little good advice. But I couldn"t. Misfortunes never come singly. To-day every thing has been blacker than midnight. Number Three, Miss Phillips, and the widow, are all turning against a fellow. I think it"s infernally hard. I feel Miss Phillips"s treatment worst. She had no business to come here at all when I thought she was safe in New Brunswick. I dare say I could have wriggled through, but she came and precipitated the catastrophe, as the saying is. Then, again, why didn"t she take me when I offered myself? And, for that matter, why didn"t Number Three take me that other time when I was ready, and asked her to fly with me? I"ll be hanged if I don"t think I"ve had an abominably hard time of it! And now I"m fairly cornered, and you must see plainly why I"m thinking of the river. If I take to it, they"ll shed a tear over me, I know; whereas, if I don"t, they"ll all pitch into me, and Louie"ll only laugh. Look here, old boy, I"ll give up women forever."
"What! And Louie, too?"
"Oh, that"s a different thing altogether," said Jack; and he subsided into a deep fit of melancholy musing.
CHAPTER XXII.
I REVEAL MY SECRET.--TREMENDOUS EFFECTS OF THE REVELATION.--MUTUAL EXPLANATIONS, WHICH ARE BY NO MEANS SATISFACTORY. JACK STANDS UP FOR WHAT HE CALLS HIS RIGHTS.--REMONSTRANCES AND REASONINGS, ENDING IN A GENERAL ROW.--JACK MAKES A DECLARATION OF WAR, AND TAKES HIS DEPARTURE IN A STATE OF UNPARALLELED HUFFINESS.