The Lame Daoist Priest

h.e.l.lo all, we are slowly getting there. Though site is not fully finished…and it now seems we need a dedicated server…looks like it"s gonna take a bit more time. But, new site is up, so releases are back on! Here is 6/8 chapters we owe. ENJOY!!! This week"s chapters may be late. Udeze"s father went into the hospital because of a stroke, so he needs to be with family right now. Please send him your prayers.

Announcement:

TLDP C075 The j.a.panese Ghost?

I was speechless for a long time, said, “In short, you must come here as soon as possible. Well, that’s it."

“Hold on Big Brother.” Jiannan stopped me, “There is one thing. My younger cousin Chen Nuo is still on holiday so I want to take him to travel to Dongning City to see the scenery in the countryside and learn how to raise pigs.”

“What travel tours, huh! You really think I asked you to come play? This place is very dangerous, he might be killed! You cannot take along anyone. Either you immediately rush over or I"ll deduct your wages!” I threatened him ferociously.

Really, upon hearing this salary cut words, Jiannan immediately didn"t dare to mention his cousin again and promised to immediately go to the train station and catch up with his fastest speed!

Even after hanging up the phone I was still cursing. What relation did I have with your cousin… wanting to raise some pigs huh?… While I was cursing in whispers, Xu Xiaoling came in and carried along with her a bowl of traditional Chinese medicine. I quickly took it and said, “Thank you Big Sis Xiaoling.”

“You don"t need to talk this polite. But you really look like a mummy right now.” Xu Xiaoling threw jokes at me.

It"s true indeed. The entire upper-half of my body was covered with bandages. Also, there were wounds being bandaged on my face. Xu Xiaoling looked at me while smiling. I pretended to sigh and said, “Big Sis Xiaoling, there might be scars on my face due to my wounds, later it would be very difficult for me to have a girlfriend, you have to take responsibilities."

Xu Xiaoling replied in a soft and gentle voice, “Okay, okay, I will take the responsibilities. But take the medicine first…”

Therefore, the hero had saved the belle. Although he was only a lowly and an unsophisticated dreg, but the so-called upright and just moves would always be useful! Although this time I was wounded, but Xu Xiaoling"s had deeper feelings for me, so it should be drawing near to the extent that she must marry me.

****

2 days later, Dongning City Train Station.

In these two days, the Water Demon didn"t come for revenge, so I took the opportunity to draw a lot of charms. And since Jiannan immediately arrived, I came to pick him up.

I really had to admit that Zhang Zixuan"s Golden Skin Ulcer medicine was truly wonderful. All of my wounds had been scabbed in 2 days, and according to him, it wouldn"t leave any scars.

Quickly, I saw that ** Jiannan"s figure!

He was wearing the previous pants that was price tagged at 38,000 Yuan. Cladded in a 15 folds scholar suit with his armpit clamped on a small black leather bag as he looked at his fake "Rolex" watch from time to time.  Giving off the appearance of a successful person in a hurry. However, the greenish big pants he was wearing completely destroyed his successful person image.

Jiannan walked to my side and looked at the bandages on my face, as he earnestly spoke, “Big Brother, I did tell you to lessen reading some p**n books, since you didn"t believe what I said, now look at you, your face become paralyzed, right?”

I was completely d.a.m.ned at the spot. What idiot would contract a facial paralysis when they read p**n books?  But soon, Jiannan answered this question for me.

Jiannan said, “My younger cousin has about the same symptoms just like you. Having watched p**n movies constantly, he often has intermittent facial paralysis."

I was instantly silenced at the moment, Jiannan"s cousin really had some talents…

Jiannan looked around and whispered, “Big Brother, I brought some gift for you!”

“W-W-What, what gift huh? Why would you be mysterious?” I was afraid he would throw me into the pit so I asked him in stuttering tone.

Jiannan took out two green hats from that small black leather bag in his armpit and spoke, “Big Brother, do you know what this is?!”

I was silent for several seconds, as I then replied in a somewhat hoa.r.s.e voice, "The color is good…”

Jiannan put one top of his head and said, “Big Brother, you have read “” right?[1] There is a little boy named Lu De (Crude). His hat is green and also printed with a K letter. These hats and his are also very similar. Since we are 2 Niu B (brothers), and later you will be the Haier big brother, while I will be the Haier younger brother!" Having said that, Jiannan personally put the other hat on my head.

I have been thoroughly and completely petrified, even making me forget to stop his move.

Having went out of the train station, more than once did I try to take the hat off, but Jiannan stopped me all the time and said, ” Big Brother Haier, although the green hat is not pleasant to hear, but there is another meaning for the green color, that is the environmentally friendly![2]. Since we"re anti-mainstream, we must not care about the eyes of others!"

I almost cried, with tears circling in my eyes, saying, “Younger Brother Haier, I beg you, becoming an environmental supporter is good for you, but you must let me off!"

“Big Brother Haier you don"t like green? Well, next time I"ll send you an ‘Ultraman’ mask.”

When I returned with a Jiannan back to the mobile rooms, our hats instantly attracted the attention of others, making me speechless. But Cheng Dong asked me from where we bought the hats, since he also wanted to buy one.

****

Since Jiannan came, sleeping at night became a problem. My room had a double bed, but did the two of us have to sleep together?

Xu Xiaoling teasing me while smiling, “Didn"t you always want someone to sleep with you?"

I put on a long face and said, “Big Sis Xiaoling, Jiannan"s feet is smelly. Anyways, you sleep with me then, since I"m injured, I should have received special treatment!

“It"s too good for you.” Xu Xiaoling replied with an expression that hinted I could only wish in my dream.

We finally decided, I gave my room to Xu Xiaoling and Dou Dou, while I use their mobile room with Jiannan, and used the bunk bed.

In these several days, Xu Xiaoling personally brewed the medicine for me personally every day. After having taken the medicine, the nosebleed didn"t happen again

Zhang Zixuan and I had talked a few days ago and told him my a.n.a.lysis that Water Demon couldn"t have suddenly emerged in this barren mountain without any cause. Thus, I thought that the creek should be the problem. And that Water Demon was even more troublesome. As long as we could contain the Water Demon, we could press it to get some answers, so we might be able to get some useful clues.

My injuries had almost healed fully, while Jiannan had also come. So I decided that tomorrow I would go to the creek!

The old swindler said that this idiot Jiannan had an excellent talent in cultivating Taoist arts. I also had taught him how to draw Sun Charms and Moon Charms before. And it took him only several dozen attempts before he could reach a 100% success rate for each drawing attempt. There were even 500 charms inside his black leather bag, almost making my eyes pop out when I saw it… So, this idiot, aside from his shamelessness, had been bestowed with extraordinary strength in other aspects…

The next day.

Jiannan and I were riding on the "Basket 1258′ bicycle and traversed on the rugged mountain pa.s.sage in a great mood. Zhang Zixuan originally wanted to send two bodyguards over to help. But I refused because not only would the bodyguards be unable to help me, but they would be more of a burden than a help.

I knew that Zhang Zixuan wanted to find that "True Cultivation’ treasures and was afraid that I would take it into my sole possession. So before I left, I told him, “Big Brother Zhang rest a.s.sured that you"ll be the first to be informed once we found something. Even if I leave now, I still have to go back at night to take the medicine."

What I meant was, I still had to come back at night to drink the medicine. So, even if I really found any tombs, I wouldn"t have the time to explore it.

Jiannan was wearing his green hat and strongly suggested that I also took it. But I refused, that color was too green and made me looked like an idiot, and I couldn"t bear it!

We set out at 5 AM, and having been traveled for 6 hours or so, we finally arrived at the place where I found the Water Demon, I then spoke, “Jiannan, last time the Water Demon was entangling with me in this place. Since you can see ghosts, do you see it around here?”

Jiannan looking around in a circle and then said, “Big Brother, aside from a few fish bones, I don"t see anything.”

Is it not here? Where would it run to? I thought for a moment and decided to direct it out.

The method was very simple, all ghosts liked Yin qi. Regardless of how far away the Yin qi was, they were able to sense the Yin qi"s presence. Therefore, as long as I provide some Yin qi, it would obediently come out.

I the spoke to Jiannan, “Burn 10 Moon Charms, the Yin qi will attract it out!

Jiannan complied at once as he quickly took out of 10 Moon Charms and put on some posture that he thought was very elegant.

"Poof~ ~" As long as those Moon Charms were burning, a strong Yin qi would emit out, and burning 10 of it would result in a more powerful Yin qi.

After the Moon Charms were burnt out, we waited for 5 or 6 minutes, but the Water Demon didn"t appear, so I took out a stack of 20 Moon Charms from my pocket and burned all of them!

This time the effect was successful! Having burned it after the third minute, the Water Demon appeared! Jiannan pointed upstream and spoke, “It comes! The Water Demon has come!”

I quickly wiped the cattle tears on my eyes, and it"s true, I saw that a monkey-like Water Demon. It also saw me and revealed its furious face and shrieking loudly, "Hahahahaha~~".

“j.a.panese devil!”[3] Jiannan shouted and pointed to it.

I corrected him, “It’s not a j.a.panese devil, it’s a j.a.panese ghost.”

Last time I found out that this ghost"s appearance was slightly strange. Only today did I realize that he was a j.a.panese ghost! However, how would j.a.panese become a Water Demon here? It was really puzzling though, so I wanted to know the truth, and I could only catch him to interrogate and torture him. Besides this guy had done many evil deeds, perhaps he could have harmed I don"t know how many Chinese people. So, I must let it taste sufferings! [4]

But there was a stream here, where the water was basically his strength. Jiannan and I would definitely have a hard time meeting him head-on. Thus, along with the way to this place, we had discussed various good and possible countermeasures…

****

Countermeasure #1: Taunt the enemy! Use any goading and taunting words that could take him out from the creek!

Who was the one whose words had the most ultra destructive power? That would be none other than Jiannan! Every word he blurted out, could force people to have the urge to vomit blood. If this taunting method could be used, he certainly is able to successfully anger the enemy!

But with the present situation, this countermeasure couldn"t work since the enemy turned out to be a d.a.m.ned j.a.panese ghost, so I supposed that he didn"t understand Chinese.

But this "brother" Jiannan next word instantly petrified me on the spot!

“Yes, yes, b.u.t.terfly ~ ~ I"m gonna c*m, I"m gonna c*m… oh ~ ~” Jiannan tried to communicate in j.a.panese with the ghost.

He really called the waves too! Even the j.a.panese ghost was stunned for a moment; I hurriedly shouted to stop Jiannan, “Countermeasure #1 is useless! Change to countermeasure #2!"

If not, I was afraid that j.a.panese ghost wouldn"t be drawn out, so I had to spit it out.

Countermeasures #2: Attack from behind method! Jiannan would jump in front of and execute the swan dance to attract the Water Demon"s attention while I took the opportunity to detour in a circle to its back and send a fatal strike!

Jiannan nodded and agreed to use countermeasures #2!

I saw his hands gently stroking his chest, as he breathed elegantly, throwing = coquettish glances like threads of silk to tie over the Water Demon as he then emitted out waves of wailing, “Ouba ~ ~” [5] and then jumped up for the ** swan dance! Standing on the tip of his toes, he points with arms held high and exposed his slender armpit hair! I almost unable to hold back spitting, although I quickly covered my mouth and looked at the direction of the Water Demon.

It truly worked. The Water Demon was also shocked! The visual impact given by Jiannan was too powerful of an attack! His combat value had already surpa.s.sed 5!!!

[1] Haier here is Chinese name for Hale.

[2] Its the green thumb

[3] 日本鬼子 : Rìběn guǐzi, nick for j.a.panese during wartime and is also used in subsequent writing

[4] Well… as translator I couldn"t say anything about this issue though…

[5] Ouba, means brother in Korean.

This chapter gives me like… WTF WITH THIS CHAPTER? LOL