So spoke Mr. Crawley, who never permitted the slightest interference with his own word in his own family, and who had himself been a witness of one of those scenes between the bishop and his wife in which the poor bishop had been so cruelly misused. But to Mr. Crawley the thing which he himself had seen under such circ.u.mstances was as sacred as though it had come to him under the seal of confession. In speaking of the bishop and Mrs. Proudie,--nay, as far as was possible in thinking of them,--he was bound to speak and to think as though he had not witnessed that scene in the palace study.
"I don"t suppose that there is much doubt about her real character,"
said Robarts. "But you and I need not discuss that."
"By no means. Such discussion would be both useless and unseemly."
"And just at present there is something else that I specially want to say to you. Indeed, I went to Silverbridge on the same subject yesterday, and have come here expressly to have a little conversation with you."
"If it be about affairs of mine, Mr. Robarts, I am indeed troubled in spirit that so great labour should have fallen upon you."
"Never mind my labour. Indeed your saying that is a nuisance to me, because I hoped that by this time you would have understood that I regard you as a friend, and that I think nothing any trouble that I do for a friend. Your position just now is so peculiar that it requires a great deal of care."
"No care can be of any avail to me."
"There I disagree with you. You must excuse me, but I do; and so does Dr. Tempest. We think that you have been a little too much in a hurry since he communicated to you the result of our first meeting."
"As how, sir?"
"It is, perhaps, hardly worth while for us to go into the whole question; but that man, Thumble, must not come here on next Sunday."
"I cannot say, Mr. Robarts, that the Reverend Mr. Thumble has recommended himself to me strongly either by his outward symbols of manhood or by such manifestation of his inward mental gifts as I have succeeded in obtaining. But my knowledge of him has been so slight, and has been acquired in a manner so likely to bias me prejudicially against him, that I am inclined to think my opinion should go for nothing. It is, however, the fact that the bishop has nominated him to this duty; and that, as I have myself simply notified my desire to be relieved from the care of the parish, on account of certain unfitness of my own, I am the last man who should interfere with the bishop in the choice of my temporary successor."
"It was her choice, not his."
"Excuse me, Mr. Robarts, but I cannot allow that a.s.sertion to pa.s.s unquestioned. I must say that I have adequate cause for believing that he came here by his lordship"s authority."
"No doubt he did. Will you just listen to me for a moment? Ever since this unfortunate affair of the cheque became known, Mrs. Proudie has been anxious to get you out of this parish. She was a violent woman, and chose to take this matter up violently. Pray hear me out before you interrupt me. There would have been no commission at all but for her."
"The commission is right and proper and just," said Mr. Crawley, who could not keep himself silent.
"Very well. Let it be so. But Mr. Thumble"s coming over here is not proper or right; and you may be sure the bishop does not wish it."
"Let him send any other clergyman whom he may think more fitting,"
said Mr. Crawley.
"But we do not want him to send anybody."
"Somebody must be sent, Mr. Robarts."
"No, not so. Let me go over and see Thumble and Snapper,--Snapper, you know, is the domestic chaplain; and all that you need do is to go on with your services on Sunday. If necessary, I will see the bishop.
I think you may be sure that I can manage it. If not, I will come back to you." Mr. Robarts paused for an answer, but it seemed for awhile that all Mr. Crawley"s impatient desire to speak was over. He walked on silently along the lane by his visitor"s side, and when, after some five or six minutes, Robarts stood still in the road, Mr.
Crawley even then said nothing. "It cannot be but that you should be anxious to keep the income of the parish for your wife and children,"
said Mark Robarts.
"Of course, I am anxious for my wife and children," Crawley answered.
"Then let me do as I say. Why should you throw away a chance, even if it be a bad one? But here the chance is all in your favour. Let me manage it for you at Barchester."
"Of course I am anxious for my wife and children," said Crawley, repeating his words; "how anxious, I fancy no man can conceive who has not been near enough to absolute want to know how terrible is its approach when it threatens those who are weak and who are very dear!
But, Mr. Robarts, you spoke just now of the chance of the thing,--the chance of your arranging on my behalf that I should for a while longer be left in the enjoyment of the freehold of my parish. It seemeth to me that there should be no chance on such a subject; that in the adjustment of so momentous a matter there should be a consideration of right and wrong, and no consideration of aught beside. I have been growing to feel, for some weeks past, that circ.u.mstances,--whether through my own fault or not is an outside question as to which I will not further delay you by offering even an opinion,--that unfortunate circ.u.mstances have made me unfit to remain here as guardian of the souls of the people of this parish. Then there came to me the letter from Dr. Tempest,--for which I am greatly beholden to him,--strengthening me altogether in this view. What could I do then, Mr. Robarts? Could I allow myself to think of my wife and my children when such a question as that was before me for self-discussion?"
"I would,--certainly," said Robarts.
"No, sir! Excuse the bluntness of my contradiction, but I feel a.s.sured that in such emergency you would look solely to duty,--as by G.o.d"s help, I will endeavour to do. Mr. Robarts, there are many of us who in many things, are much worse than we believe ourselves to be.
But in other matters, and perhaps of larger moment, we can rise to ideas of duty as the need for such ideas comes upon us. I say not this at all as praising myself. I speak of men as I believe that they will be found to be;--of yourself, of myself, and of others who strive to live with clean hands and a clear conscience. I do not for a moment think that you would retain your benefice at Framley if there had come upon you, after much thought, an a.s.sured conviction that you could not retain it without grievous injury to the souls of others and grievous sin to your own. Wife and children, dear as they are to you and to me,--as dear to me as to you,--fade from the sight when the time comes for judgment on such a matter as that!" They were standing quite still now, facing each other, and Crawley, as he spoke with a low voice, looked straight into his friend"s eyes, and kept his hand firmly fixed on his friend"s arm.
"I cannot interfere further," said Robarts.
"No,--you cannot interfere further." Robarts, when he told the story of the interview to his wife that evening, declared that he had never heard a voice so plaintively touching as was the voice of Mr. Crawley when he uttered those last words.
They returned back to the servant and the house almost without a word, and Robarts mounted without offering to see Mrs. Crawley. Nor did Mr. Crawley ask him to do so. It was better now that Robarts should go. "May G.o.d send you through all your troubles," said Mr.
Robarts.
"Mr. Robarts, I thank you warmly, for your friendship," said Mr.
Crawley. And then they parted. In about half an hour Mr. Crawley returned to the house. "Now for Pindar, Jane," he said, seating himself at his old desk.
CHAPTER LXIX.
MR. CRAWLEY"S LAST APPEARANCE IN HIS OWN PULPIT.
No word or message from Mr. Crawley reached Barchester throughout the week, and on the Sunday morning Mr. Thumble was under a positive engagement to go out to Hogglestock, and perform the services of the church. Dr. Tempest had been quite right in saying that Mr. Thumble would be awed by the death of his patroness. Such was altogether the case, and he was very anxious to escape from the task he had undertaken at her instance, if it were possible. In the first place, he had never been a favourite with the bishop himself, and had now, therefore, nothing to expect in the diocese. The crusts from bits of loaves and the morsels of broken fishes which had come in his way had all come from the bounty of Mrs. Proudie. And then, as regarded this special Hogglestock job, how was he to get paid for it? Whence, indeed, was he to seek repayment for the actual money which he would be out of pocket in finding his way to Hogglestock and back again?
But he could not get to speak to the bishop, nor could he induce any one who had access to his lordship to touch upon the subject. Mr.
Snapper avoided him as much as possible; and Mr. Snapper, when he was caught and interrogated, declared that he regarded the matter as settled. Nothing could be in worse taste, Mr. Snapper thought, than to undo, immediately after the poor lady"s death, work in the diocese which had been arranged and done by her. Mr. Snapper expressed his opinion that Mr. Thumble was bound to go out to Hogglestock; and, when Mr. Thumble declared petulantly that he would not stir a step out of Barchester, Mr. Snapper protested that Mr. Thumble would have to answer for it in this world and in the next if there were no services at Hogglestock on that Sunday. On the Sat.u.r.day evening Mr.
Thumble made a desperate attempt to see the bishop, but was told by Mrs. Draper that the bishop had positively declined to see him. The bishop himself probably felt unwilling to interfere with his wife"s doings so soon after her death! So Mr. Thumble, with a heavy heart, went across to "The Dragon of Wantly," and ordered a gig, resolving that the bill should be sent in to the palace. He was not going to trust himself again upon the bishop"s cob!
Up to Sat.u.r.day evening Mr. Crawley did the work of his parish, and on the Sat.u.r.day evening he made an address to his parishioners from his pulpit. He had given notice among the brickmakers and labourers that he wished to say a few words to them in the school-room; but the farmers also heard of this and came with their wives and daughters, and all the brickmakers came, and most of the labourers were there, so that there was no room for them in the school-house. The congregation was much larger than was customary even in the church.
"They will come," he said to his wife, "to hear a ruined man declare his own ruin, but they will not come to hear the word of G.o.d."
When it was found that the persons a.s.sembled were too many for the school-room, the meeting was adjourned to the church, and Mr. Crawley was forced to get into his pulpit. He said a short prayer, and then he began his story.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "They will come to hear a ruined man declare his own ruin."]
His story as he told it then shall not be repeated now, as the same story has been told too often already in these pages. Surely it was a singular story for a parish clergyman to tell of himself in so solemn a manner. That he had applied the cheque to his own purposes, and was unable to account for the possession of it, was certain. He did not know when or how he had got it. Speaking to them then in G.o.d"s house he told them that. He was to be tried by a jury, and all he could do was to tell the jury the same. He would not expect the jury to believe him. The jury would, of course, believe only that which was proved to them. But he did expect his old friends at Hogglestock, who had known him so long, to take his word as true. That there was no sufficient excuse for his conduct, even in his own sight, this, his voluntary resignation of his parish, was, he said, sufficient evidence. Then he explained to them, as clearly as he was able, what the bishop had done, what the commission had done, and what he had done himself. That he spoke no word of Mrs. Proudie to that audience need hardly be mentioned here. "And now, dearest friends, I leave you," he said, with that weighty solemnity which was so peculiar to the man, and which he was able to make singularly impressive even on such a congregation as that of Hogglestock, "and I trust that the heavy but pleasing burden of the charge which I have had over you may fall into hands better fitted than mine have been for such work. I have always known my own unfitness, by reason of the worldly cares with which I have been laden. Poverty makes the spirit poor, and the hands weak, and the heart sore,--and too often makes the conscience dull. May the latter never be the case with any of you." Then he uttered another short prayer, and, stepping down from the pulpit, walked out of the church, with his weeping wife hanging on his arm, and his daughter following them, almost dissolved in tears. He never again entered that church as the pastor of the congregation.
There was an old lame man from Hoggle End leaning on his stick near the door as Mr. Crawley went out, and with him was his old lame wife.
"He"ll pull through yet," said the old man to his wife; "you"ll see else. He"ll pull through because he"s so dogged. It"s dogged as does it."
On that night the position of the members of Mr. Crawley"s household seemed to have been changed. There was something almost of elation in his mode of speaking, and he said soft loving words, striving to comfort his wife. She, on the other hand, could say nothing to comfort him. She had been averse to the step he was taking, but had been unable to press her objection in opposition to his great argument as to duty. Since he had spoken to her in that strain which he had used with Robarts, she also had felt that she must be silent.
But she could not even feign to feel the pride which comes from the performance of a duty. "What will he do when he comes out?" she said to her daughter. The coming out spoken of by her was the coming out of prison. It was natural enough that she should feel no elation.
The breakfast on Sunday morning was to her, perhaps, the saddest scene of her life. They sat down, the three together, at the usual hour,--nine o"clock,--but the morning had not been pa.s.sed as was customary on Sundays. It had been Mr. Crawley"s practice to go into the school from eight to nine; but on this Sunday he felt, as he told his wife, that his presence would be an intrusion there. But he requested Jane to go and perform her usual task. "If Mr. Thumble should come," he said to her, "be submissive to him in all things."
Then he stood at his door, watching to see at what hour Mr. Thumble would reach the school. But Mr. Thumble did not attend the school on that morning. "And yet he was very express to me in his desire that I would not myself meddle with the duties," said Mr. Crawley to his wife as he stood at the door,--"unnecessarily urgent, as I must say I thought at the time." If Mrs. Crawley could have spoken out her thoughts about Mr. Thumble at that moment, her words would, I think, have surprised her husband.
At breakfast there was hardly a word spoken. Mr. Crawley took his crust and eat it mournfully,--almost ostentatiously. Jane tried and failed, and tried to hide her failure, failing in that also. Mrs.
Crawley made no attempt. She sat behind her old teapot, with her hands clasped and her eyes fixed. It was as though some last day had come upon her,--this, the first Sunday of her husband"s degradation.