aItas not enough for me,a the youth said in a steady voice. aI need something bigger.a aNot enough for you?a exclaimed the rabbi with surprise. aWell, then, what do you want?a Proud-gaited, high-rumped Magdalene pa.s.sed through the youthas mind, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s exposed, her eyes, lips and cheeks covered with make-up. She laughed and her teeth flashed in the sunlight; but as she wriggled up and down before him, her body changed, multiplied, and the son of Mary now saw a lake, which must have been the lake of Gennesaret, and around it thousands of men and womena"thousands of Magdalenesa"with happy, uplifted faces, and the sun fell upon them and they gleamed. But no, it was not the sun, it was himself, Jesus of Nazareth, who was bent over those faces and causing them to overflow with splendor. Whether from joy, desire or salvation he could not distinguish: all he saw was the splendor.
aWhat are you thinking about?a asked the rabbi. aWhy donat you answer me?a The young man burst out, asking abruptly, aDo you believe in dreams, Uncle Simeon? I do; I believe in nothing else. One night I dreamed that invisible enemies had me tied to a dead cypress. Long red arrows were sticking into me from my head to my feet, and the blood was flowing. On my head they had placed a crown of thorns, and intertwined with the thorns were fiery letters which said: aSaint Blasphemer.a I am Saint Blasphemer, Rabbi Simeon. So youad better not ask me anything else, or Iall start my blasphemies.a aGo ahead, my childa"start,a the rabbi said tranquilly, again taking hold of his hand. aStart your blasphemies and relieve yourself.a aThereas a devil inside me which cries, aYouare not the son of the Carpenter, youare the son of King David! You are not a man, you are the son of man whom Daniel prophesied. And still more: the son of G.o.d! And still more: G.o.d!a a The rabbi listened, bowed over, and shudders pa.s.sed through his ramshackle body. The youthas chapped lips were rimmed with froth; his tongue adhered to his palate: he could no longer speak. But what else was he to say? He had already said everything; he felt that his heart had been drained. Jerking his hands free of the rabbias grip, he got up. Then he turned to the old man. aHave you anything else to ask?a he said sarcastically.
aNo,a replied the old man, who felt all the strength flow out of him into the earth and perish. In his lifetime he had extracted many devils from the mouths of men. The possessed came from the ends of the earth and he cured them. Their devils, however, were small, and easy: devils of the bath, of anger, of sickness. But now ... How could he wrestle with a devil like this?
Outside, the wind of Jehovah still beat on the door, trying to enter. There was no other sound. Not a jackal on the earth, nor a crow in the air. Every living thing cowered in fear, waiting for the Lordas anger to pa.s.s.
Chapter Eleven.
THE SON of Mary leaned against the wall and shut his eyes. His mouth was bitter, poisonously bitter. The rabbi, his head once more wedged between his knees, meditated on h.e.l.l and devils and the heart of man. ... No, h.e.l.l with its devils was not in the great pit below the earth; it was in the b.r.e.a.s.t.s of men, in the breast of the most virtuous, the most just. G.o.d was an abyss, man was an abyssa"and the old rabbi did not dare open his heart to see what lay within.
They did not speak for some time. Deep silence. ... Even the two black dogs had fallen asleep: they had grown tired of lamenting the deceased. Suddenly there was a sweet, piercing hiss from the yard. The half-mad Jeroboam jumped up, the first to hear it. The wind of Jehovah was always accompanied by this sweet hissing in the yard, and the monk bounded with delight whenever the sound reached his ears. The sun was setting, but the entire yard was still bathed in light, and on the flagstones next to the dried-up well, the monkas eyes perceived a large snake, black with yellow patterns, lifting its swelled neck, vibrating its tongue, and hissing. Never in his life had Jeroboam heard a flute more seductive than this snaky throat. Now and then in the summertime, when he too dreamed of a woman, she appeared to him like this, like a snake which slid over the mat where he slept, put its tongue in his ear, and hissed. ...
Tonight Jeroboam had once more flown out of his cell, and now, holding his breath, he approached the enflamed snake. It piped; he looked at it, and began to pipe also and to feel the snakeas warmth pa.s.s into his body. Then, little by little, other snakes emerged from the dried-up well or out of the sand, or from around the cacti: one with a blue hood, another green with two horns, others yellow, dappled, black. ... Quickly, like water, they slid forward and joined the first snake, the decoy; they strung themselves all together, rubbed one against the next, licked each other: a snaky cl.u.s.ter of grapes hung in the middle of the yard, and Jeroboam opened his mouth and drooled. This is s.e.x, he reflected. Men and women couple like this, and that is why G.o.d banished us from Paradise. ... His humped, unkissed body swayed back and forth in time with the snakes.
The rabbi heard the enticing sound, raised his head, and listened. G.o.das fiery wind blows, he said to himself, and right in the middle of it, the snakes mate. The Lord puffs and wants to incinerate the world, and up come the snakes to make love! For a moment the old manas mind succ.u.mbed to the enticement and wandered. But suddenly he shuddered. Everything is of G.o.d, he reflected; everything has two meanings, one manifest, one hidden. The common people comprehend only what is manifest. They say, aThis is a snake,a and their minds go no further; but the mind which dwells in G.o.d sees what lies behind the visible, sees the hidden meaning. These snakes which crept out today in front of the doors of this cell and began to hiss at precisely this moment, just after the son of Maryas confession, must a.s.suredly have a deep, concealed meaning. But what is that meaning?
He rolled up into a ball on the ground, his temples throbbing. What was the meaning? Cold sweat flowed over his sun-baked face. Sometimes he glanced out of the corner of his eye at the pale youth next to him; sometimes, with eyes closed and mouth opened, he listened intently to the snakes outside. What was the meaning?
He had learned the language of the birds from the great exorcist Josaphat, his former superior, who was Abbot when he came to the monastery to become a monk. He could interpret the sayings of swallows, doves and eagles. Josaphat had also promised to teach him the language of the snakes, but he died and took the secret with him. These snakes tonight were doubtless bringing a message, but what was that message?
He rolled himself up again and squeezed his head between his hands: his mind was jingling. He writhed and sighed for a considerable time and felt white and black thunderbolts tear through his brain. What was the meaning? What was the message? Suddenly he uttered a cry. He got up from the ground, took the Abbotas crosier and leaned on it.
aJesus,a he said in a low voice, ahow does your heart feel?a But the youth did not hear. He was plunged in unspeakable exultation. Tonight, after so many years, tonight, the night he had decided to confess and speak out, he was able for the first time to look into the darkness of his heart and distinguish, one by one, the serpents which were hissing within him. He gave them names, and as he did so, it seemed to him that they issued from his bowels and slid away outside, relieving him.
aJesus, how does your heart feel?a the old man asked again. aIs it relieved?a He leaned over and took him by the hand. aCome,a he said tenderly, and he put his finger to his lips.
He opened the door. He held Jesus by the hand, and they crossed the threshold. The audacious snakes, glued one to the next and holding on to the earth with nothing but their tails, had risen in the middle of the fiery swirl of sand and were dancing in a row, completely at the mercy of G.o.das wind; and from time to time they stiffened and ceased moving, exhausted.
The son of Mary recoiled at the sight of them, but the rabbi squeezed his hand, held out the crosier and touched the edge of the snaky cl.u.s.ter.
aHere they are,a he said softly, watching the youth and smiling. aTheyave fled.a aFled?a asked the youth, perplexed. aFled from where?a aYou feel your heart unburdened, donat you? They have fled from your heart.a The son of Mary stared with protruding eyes first at the rabbi, who was smiling at him, then at the snakes, which, all in a clump, were now transferring themselves in a dance toward the dried-up well. He put his hand to his heart and felt it beating quickly, elatedly.
aLetas go inside,a said the rabbi, taking him again by the hand. They entered and the rabbi closed the door.
aGlory be to G.o.d,a he exclaimed with emotion. He looked at the son of Mary and felt strangely troubled.
This is a miracle, he said to himself. The life of this boy who stands before me is nothing but miracles. ... At one moment he wanted to hold his hands over Jesusa head and bless him, at the next to stoop and kiss his feet. But he restrained himself. Had not G.o.d deceived him time after time until now? How many times, as he heard the prophets who had come forth lately from mountainside or desert, had he said, aThis one is the Messiaha? But G.o.d deceived him each time, and the rabbias heart, which was ready to blossom, always remained a flowerless stump. So, he restrained himself. ... I must test him first, he thought. Those were the serpents which were devouring him. They have fled and he has been cleansed. He is capable now of rising. He will speak to mena"and then we shall see.
The door opened, and in came Jeroboam the guest master with the two visitorsa meager supper of barley bread, olives and milk. He turned to Jesus. aI laid your sleeping mat in another cell tonight so that you could have company.a But the minds of the two visitors were far away, and they did not hear. The snakes could be heard again, from the bottom of the well. They were piping, piping and gasping for breath.
aTheyare getting married,a said the monk, giggling. aThe wind of G.o.d blows, and theya"a plague on them!a"they donat get scared; they get married!a He looked at the old man and winked, but the rabbi had begun to dip his bread into the milk and to chew. He wanted to gain strength, to transform the bread, olives and milk into intelligence so that he could speak to the son of Mary. The stunted hunchback eyed first the one, then the other, got bored, and left.
The two sat cross-legged facing each other, and ate in silence. The cell had grown dim. The stools, the Abbotas stall and the lectern, with the prophet Daniel still opened upon it, gleamed fuzzily in the darkness. The air of the cell still smelt of sweet incense. Outside, the wind grew calm.
aThe wind has subsided,a the rabbi said at one point. aG.o.d has come and gone.a The youth did not reply. Theyave left, theyave left, he was thinking; the serpents have fled from within me. Perhaps that is just what G.o.d wanted, perhaps that is why he brought me here to the desert: to be cured. He blew, the serpents heard him, came out of my heart and fled. Glory be to G.o.d!
Having finished eating, the rabbi lifted his hands and gave thanks to G.o.d. Then he turned to his companion. aJesus, where is your mind? I am the rabbi of Nazareth, do you hear me?a aI hear you, Uncle Simeon,a said the youth, coming out of his great torpor with a start.
aThe hour is here, my child. Are you ready?a aReady? Ready for what?a asked Jesus, shuddering.
aYou know very wella"why do you ask me? Ready to stand up and speak.a aTo whom?a aTo mankind.a aTo say what?a aDonat worry about that. You just open your mouth; G.o.d seeks nothing more from you. Do you love mankind?a aI donat know. I see men and feel sorry for them, nothing else.a aThatas enough, my child, thatas enough. Rise up and speak to them. Your sorrows may then be multiplied, but theirs will be relieved. Perhaps that is why G.o.d sent you into the world. We shall see!a aPerhaps that is why G.o.d sent me into the world?a the youth repeated. aHow do you know, Father?a His soul left his body and hung on tenterhooks, awaiting the response.
aI donat. No one told me; but still, itas possible. Iave seen signs. Once when you were a boy you took some clay and fashioned a bird. While you caressed it and talked to it, it seemed to me that this bird of clay grew wings and flew out of your grasp. Itas possible that this clay bird is the soul of man, Jesus, my childa"the soul of man in your hands.a The youth got up and carefully opened the door. Putting out his head, he listened. The snakes were completely silent nowa"at last. Pleased, he turned to the old rabbi. aGive me your blessing, Father, and do not say anything else to me. Youave spoken quite enough; I cannot bear to hear more.a And after a pause: aIam tired, Uncle Simeon. Iam going to bed. Sometimes G.o.d comes during the night and explains the events of the day. ... Sleep well, Uncle Simeon.a The guest master was waiting for him outside the door.
aLetas go,a he said. aIall show you where I put your bed. Whatas your name, my fine lad?a aSon of the Carpenter.a aMineas Jeroboam. Iam also called Brother Crackbrain, and also The Hunchback. So what! I keep my nose to the grindstone and gnaw the dry crust which G.o.d gave me.a aWhat dry crust?a The hunchback laughed. aDonat you understand, nitwit? My soul! And as soon as I get donea"good night, pleasant dreamsa"along comes Charon and starts gnawing on me!a He halted and opened a tiny squat door.
aEnter,a he said. aTherea"in the back corner, to the lefta"your mat!a Guffawing, he pushed him through the doorway. aSleep well, my fine lad, and pleasant dreams. But never fear, youall dream about womena"itas in the monastery air.a Splitting with laughter, he shut the door with a thunderous bang.
The son of Mary did not move. Darkness. ... At first he distinguished nothing, but little by little half-transparent whitewashed walls began ever so imperceptibly to appear; a jug glittered in a niche along the wall; and in the corner, riveted upon him, were two sparking eyes.
He groped his way slowly forward, his arms stretched before him. His foot stumbled on the unfolded mat, and he stopped. The two eyes shifted, following him.
aGood evening, friend,a the son of Mary greeted his companion, but no one replied.
Hunched up into a ball, his chin against his knees, his heavy, gasping breaths reverberating throughout the cell, Judas leaned against the wall and watched him. Come ... come ... come ... he murmured within himself, the knife squeezed in his fist against his breast. Come ... come ... come ... he murmured, watching the son of Mary approach. Come ... come ... come ... he murmured, luring him.
His mind went back to the village where he was born, Kerioth, in faraway Idumea. He remembered that this was exactly how his uncle the exorcist had lured the jackals, rabbits and partridge he wanted to kill. He used to lie down on the ground, pin his burning eyes on the game and produce a hiss full of longing, entreaty and command: come ... come ... come ... The animal would immediately grow dizzy and start to creep, head bowed and out of breath, toward the hissing mouth.
Suddenly Judas began to hissa"softly at first and with much tenderness, but all at once the sound grew stronger, became fierce and menacing, and the son of Mary, who had lain down to sleep, jumped up in terror. Who was this next to him? Who was hissing? He felt the odor of an incensed beast in the air, and understood.
aJudas, my brother, is that you?a he asked quietly.
aCrucifier!a growled the other, angrily stamping his heel on the ground.
aJudas, my brother,a the youth repeated, athe crucifier suffers more than the crucified.a The redbeard lashed out and twirled his whole body around so that it faced the son of Mary.
aI swore to my brothers the Zealots and to the mother of the crucified that I would kill you. Welcome, cross-maker. I hissed, and you came.a He jumped to his feet, bolted the door and then returned to the corner and rolled himself up again into a ball, with his face turned toward Jesus.
aDid you hear what I said? Donat start your blubbering. Get ready!a aI am ready.a aNo shouting now! Quick! I want to get away while itas still dark.a aIam delighted to see you, Judas, my brother. Iam ready. It wasnat you who hissed; it was G.o.da"and I came. His abounding grace arranged everything perfectly. You came just at the right moment, Judas, my brother. Tonight my heart was unburdened, purified: I can present myself now before G.o.d. I have grown tired of wrestling with him, grown tired of living. I offer you my neck, Judasa"I am ready.a The blacksmith groaned and knit his brows. He did not like, did not like at alla"indeed, it disgusted him to touch a neck which was offered undefended, like a lambas. What he wanted was resistance, body-to-body grappling, and the kill to come at the very end as was appropriate for real men, after the blood had become heated: a just reward for the struggle.
The son of Mary waited, his neck stretched forward. But the blacksmith thrust out his huge hand and pushed him away.
aWhy donat you resist?a he growled. aWhat kind of a man are you? Get up and fight!a aBut I donat want to, Judas, my brother. Why should I resist? What you want, I want; and surely G.o.d wants the samea"that is why he put all the pieces together so perfectly. Donat you see: I departed for this monastery, you departed at the same moment; I arrived and right away my heart was cleansed: I prepared myself to be killed; you took your knife, huddled in this corner and prepared yourself to kill; the door opened, I entered. ... What further signs could you possibly want, Judas, my brother?a But the blacksmith did not speak. He chewed his mustache in a frenzy; his boiling blood circulated by fits and starts, rose to his head and fired his brain a bright red, rushed down again leaving it pale, then remounted.
aWhy do you build crosses?a he thundered finally.
The young man lowered his head. That was his secreta"how could he reveal it? How could the blacksmith give credence to the dreams which G.o.d sent him, or to the voices he heard when he was all alone, or the talons which nailed themselves into the top of his head and wanted to lift him to heaven? And he resisted and did not want to goa"how could Judas understand that? He clutched sin, desperately, as a means of keeping himself on earth.
aI cannot explain it to you, Judas, my brother. Forgive me,a he said contritely, abut I cannot.a The blacksmith shifted his position so that he could better distinguish the youthas face in the darkness. He looked at it avidly, then slowly drew back and leaned once again against the wall. What kind of a person is this? he asked himself. I canat understand. I wonder if itas the devil whoas guiding hima"or G.o.d? In either case, d.a.m.n him! he leads him with a sure hand. He doesnat resist, and that is the greatest resistance. I canat slaughter lambs; men, yes, but not lambs.
aYouare a coward, you miserable wretch!a he burst out. aOooa"why donat you go to h.e.l.l! Youare slapped on one cheek and you, what do you do, you right away turn the other. You see a knife, and right away you stick out your neck. A man canat touch you without feeling disgusted.a aG.o.d can,a the son of Mary murmured tranquilly.
The blacksmith twisted the knife in his fist, unable to make up his mind. For an instant he imagined he saw a halo of light trembling in the darkness over the youthas bowed head. Terror came over him, and the joints of his hands went slack.
aI may be thickheaded,a he said to the son of Mary, abut speaka"Iall understand. Who are you? What do you want? Where do you come from? What are these tales that surround you on every side: a flowering staff, a lightning flash, the fainting spells which seize you while you walk, the voices which youare said to hear in the darkness? Tell me, what is your secret?a aPity, Judas, my brother.a aFor whom? Whom do you pity? Is it yourself, your own wretchedness and poverty? Or perhaps you feel sorry for Israel? Well, speak! Is it for Israel? Thatas what I want you to say, do you hear? That and nothing else. Are you being devoured by Israelas suffering?a aBy manas, Judas, my brother.a aForget about aman.a The Greeks who slaughtered us for so many years, curse them!a"theyare men. The Romans are men, and theyare still slaughtering us and soiling the Temple and our G.o.d. Why care about them? Itas Israel you should keep your sights on, and if you feel pity, it should be pity for Israel. All the others can go to the devil!a aBut I feel pity for the jackals, Judas, my brother, and for the sparrows, and the gra.s.s.a aHa! Ha!a jeered the redbeard. aAnd for the ants?a aYes, for the ants too. Everything is G.o.das. When I bend over the ant, inside his black, shiny eye I see the face of G.o.d.a aAnd if you bend over my face, son of the Carpenter?a aThere too, very deep down, I see the face of G.o.d.a aAnd you donat fear death?a aWhy should I, Judas, my brother? Death is not a door which closes; it is a door which opens. It opens, and you enter.a aEnter where?a aThe bosom of G.o.d.a Judas sighed with vexation. This fellow just canat be caught, he reflected; he canat be caught, because he has no fear of death. ... Propping his chin on his palm, he looked at Jesus and strained to come to a decision.
aIf I donat kill you,a he said finally, awhat do you plan to do?a aI donat know. Whatever G.o.d decides. ... I should like to get up and speak to men.a aTo tell them what?a aHow do you expect me to know, Judas, my brother? Iall open my mouth, and G.o.d will do the talking.a The halo of light around the youthas head grew brighter; his sad, wasted face flashed like lightning and his large, jet-black eyes seduced Judas with their unutterable sweetness. The redbeard felt troubled and lowered his eyes. I wouldnat kill him, he thought, if I were sure he would go out to speak and rouse the hearts of the Israelites, rouse them to attack the Romans.
aWhat are you waiting for, Judas, my brother?a asked the youth. aOr perhaps G.o.d did not send you to kill me; perhaps he wills something else, something unknown even to you, and you look at me and struggle to divine what it is. I am ready to be killed, and I am also ready to live. Decide.a aDonat be in a rush,a the other answered dejectedly. aThe night is long; we have plenty of time.a But after a pause, he shouted frantically, aA fellow canat even talk to you without getting himself in hot water. I ask you one thing and you answer another: I canat pin you down. My heart and mind were more certain before I saw you and listened to you than they are now. Leave me alone. Turn your head the other way and go to sleep. I want to be alone so that I can digest all this and see what Iam going to do.a This said, he turned toward the wall, grumbling.
The son of Mary lay down on his mat and tranquilly crossed his hands.
Whatever G.o.d wants, that is what will happen, he reflected, and he closed his eyes with confidence.
An owl emerged from its hole in the rock facing them, saw that G.o.das whirlwind had pa.s.sed, flew to and fro silently and then began to hoot tenderly, calling its mate. G.o.d has left, it called; weave escaped once more, dearesta"come! High above, the skylight of the cell had filled with stars. The son of Mary opened his eyes and was happy to see them. They moved slowly, disappeared; others arose. The hours went by.
Judas twisted and turned, still cross-legged on his mat. Now and then he got up, gasping and murmuring, and went as far as the door, only to return again. The son of Mary watched him with half-closed eyes and waited. Whatever G.o.d wants, that is what will happen, he thought, and he waited. The hours pa.s.sed by.
A camel in the stable adjacent to them neighed with fear; she must have seen a wolf or a lion in her sleep. Immense new stars mounted ferociously from the east, ordered like an army.
Suddenly a c.o.c.k crowed in the still-deep darkness. Judas jumped up. With one stride he was at the door. He opened it violently, closed it behind him. His bare feet could be heard stamping heavily over the flagstones.
And then, the son of Mary turned and saw his faithful fellow voyager. She was in the corner, erect and vigilant in the darkness.
aForgive me, my sister,a he said to her. aThe hour has not yet come.a
Chapter Twelve.
THERE WAS a warm, damp wind today which lifted large waves on the lake of Gennesaret. Autumn had already come, and the earth smelled of vine leaves and overripe grapes. Men and women had poured out of Capernaum at dawn. The vintage was in its glory; the bunches of grapes, filled with their must, lay waiting on the ground. The young girls, sparkling like the grapes, had eaten whole cl.u.s.ters and smeared their faces with juice. The young men, panting in the full rage of youth, threw furtive glances at the giggling girls who were vintaging. In every vineyard there were shouts and fits of laughter. The girls grew bold and teased the boys, who became more and more heated and drew closer. The sly devil of the vintage ran to and fro pinching the women and splitting his sides with laughter.
Old Zebedeeas s.p.a.cious village house was wide open and buzzing. The wine press, on the left side of the yard, was being loaded with the contents of brimful hampers which the young men transported from the vineyards. Four giants, Philip, Jacob, Peter, and Nathanael, the village cobbler, a nave camel of a man, were washing their hairy shins and preparing to enter the press to tread the grapes. Every pauper in Capernaum was sure to have his tiny vineyard for the yearas supply of wine, and each year he transported his crop to this press, trod the grapes and took back his share of the must. And old stuff-pocket Zebedee filled his own jars and barrels for the year with the commission he took for use of the press. He sat, therefore, on a raised platform with a long stick and a penknife in his hands and by means of notches marked the number of each personas hampers. But the owners also kept a record in their minds: they did not want to be cheated the day after next at the division of the must. Old Zebedee was predaciousa"n.o.body trusted him; everyone had to have eyes in the back of his head.
The window of the inner house which gave onto the yard was open, and stretched on the divan was old Salome, the mistress of the house. She gazed outside and listened to all that went on in the yard; in this way she forgot the pains which tortured her knees and other joints. She must have been exceedingly beautiful in her youtha"slim-boned, tall, with olive skin and large eyes: of a good stock. Three villagesa"Capernaum, Magdala and Bethsaidaa"had vied for her. Three suitors had set out at the same time and found her old father, the wealthy ship-owner. Each came with a rich train of friends, camels and overflowing hampers. The shrewd old man carefully weighed in his mind the body, soul and fortune of each, and chose Zebedee, who wed her. She had pleased him, but now the exquisite girl had grown old, her beauty, eaten by time, had fallen away, and now and then, during the important festivals, her vigorous, still-juicy husband made the rounds at night and played with the widows.
Today, however, old Salomeas face was aglow. John, her favorite son, had arrived the day before from the holy monastery. He was truly pale and skinny. Prayer and fasting had broken him, but she would keep him near her now and never let him go away again. She would nourish him with food and drink, and he would grow strong; his cheeks would sparkle once more. G.o.d is good, she said to herself, and we worship his grace. Yes, he is gooda"but he must not want to drink the blood of our children. Fasting in moderation, prayer in moderation: that would be fine for both man and G.o.d, and they should arrange things in this waya"sensibly. She looked anxiously at the door, waiting for John, her baby, to return from the vineyards where he too was helping to bring in the vintage.
In the middle of the yard, beneath the large almond tree, which was heavy with fruit, Judas the redbeard was bent over, silent, swinging his hammer and fitting iron bands around the wine barrels. If you looked at him from the right, his face was sullen and full of malice; if you looked at him from the left, it was uneasy and sad. Many days had pa.s.sed since he fled like a thief from the monastery. During this time he had gone around the villages fitting up barrels for the new must. He would enter the houses, work, listen to the talk and register in his mind the words and deeds of each man, in order to inform the brotherhood of everything. But where was the old redbearda"the rowdy, the wrangler! Ever since the day he left the monastery, he had been unrecognizable.
ad.a.m.n it, Judas Iscariot, open your mouth, devil-hair,a Zebedee yelled at him. aWhat are you thinking about? Two and two make foura"havenat you realized that yet? Open your mouth, you blessed ruffian, and say something. This is the vintagea"no small matter. On a day like this everyone laughs, even the sullen black sheep.a aDonat lead him into temptation, Zebedee,a Philip interrupted. aHe went to the monastery; it seems he wants to don the robe. Havenat you heard? When the devil gets old, he becomes a monk!a Judas turned and threw a venomous glance at Philip but did not speak. He detested him. He wasnat a man; no, he was all words and no action, a prattler. At the last minute head become paralyzed with fear and had refused to enter the brotherhood. aI have sheep,a was his excuse. aI have sheep; how can I leave them?a Old Zebedee burst out laughing and turned to the redbeard. aTake care, wretch,a he shouted at him. aMonasticism is a contagious disease. Look out you donat catch it! My own son escaped by a hairas breadth. My old lady got sick, bless her, and her pet learned about it. He had already finished his schooling in herbs with the Abbot, so he came home to doctor her. He wonat leave here again, mark my words. Where to go? Heas not insane, is he? There, in the desert, thereas hunger, thirst, prostrationsa"and G.o.d. Here thereas food, wine, womena"and G.o.d. Everywhere G.o.d. So, why go look for him in the desert? Whatas your opinion, Judas Iscariot?a But the redbeard swung his hammer and did not answer. What could he say to him? Everything came to this filthy dog just as he wanted it. How could he understand the next manas troubles? Even G.o.d, who wiped others off the face of the earth for the jump of a flea, flattered and coddled this swine, this parasite, this lickpenny; kept him from suffering the slightest harm, fell over him like a woolen cloak in the winter, like cool linen in the summer. Why? What did he see in him? Was the old b.a.s.t.a.r.d devoured with concern for Israel? Why, he wouldnat lift his little finger to help Israela"he loved the Roman criminals because they guarded his wealth. May G.o.d protect them, he said, for they maintain order. If not for them, the mob of ruffians and barefooted riffraff would fall all over us, and that would be the last wead see of our property. ... But, never fear, you old b.a.s.t.a.r.d, the hour will come. What G.o.d forgets and leaves undone the Zealots, bless them, will remember and do. Patience, Judas; do not breathe a word. Patience. Jehovah Sabaothas day will come!
Raising his turquoise eyes, he looked at Zebedee and saw him in the wine press, floating on his back in his own blood. His whole face smiled.
By this time the four giants had carefully scrubbed their legs and jumped into the press. Sunk up to the knees, they stamped and trampled the grapes, stooping to pick up whole fistfuls, which they ate, filling their beards with the stems. Sometimes they danced hand in hand, sometimes each screamed and jumped by himself. The smell of the must had made them drunka"and the must was not all: as they looked through the opened front door toward the vineyards they saw the girls bend over to pick the grapes, and their beauty was visible even above the knees, and their b.r.e.a.s.t.s, like cl.u.s.ters of grapes, swung back and forth over the vine leaves.
The treaders saw them, and their minds grew turbid. This was not a wine press, that was not land and vineyard, but Paradise, with old Jehovah Sabaoth sitting on the platform holding a long stick and a penknife and marking his exact obligation to each: how many hampers of grapes each had brought and how many jugs of wine, day after tomorrow when they died, he would offer thema"how many jugs of wine, how many cauldrons of food, how many women!
aOn my honor,a snapped Peter, aif G.o.d came this very moment and said to me, aHey, Peter, my little Peter, Iam in the best of moods today, ask me a favor, any favor, and Iall do it for you. What do you want?aa"if he asked me that I should answer him, aTo tread grapes, Lord, to tread grapes for all eternity!a a aAnd not to drink the wine, blockhead?a Zebedee rudely asked him.
aNo, from the bottom of my heart: to tread the grapes!a He did not laugh; his face was serious and absorbed. He stopped treading for a moment and stretched in the sun. His upper body was bare, and tattooed over his heart was a large black fish. An artisan, formerly a prisoner, had tapped it on years before with a needle, so skillfully that you thought it moved its tail and swam happily, all tangled up in the curly hairs of Peteras chest. Above the fish was a small anchor with four crossed arms, each with a barb.
But Philip remembered his sheep. He did not like to plow the land, care for vineyards or tread grapes.
aGood G.o.d, Peter,a he scoffed, asome job you found yourselfa"treading grapes for all eternity! I should have asked the Lord to make heaven and earth a green meadow full of goats and sheep. I should then milk them and send the milk flowing down the mountainside. It would run like a river and form lakes on the plain so that the poor could drink. And every night all of us should gathera"all the shepherds, together with G.o.d the chief shepherd; we should light a fire, roast a lamb and tell stories. That is the meaning of Paradise!a aA plague on you, moron!a grumbled Judas, and he threw another fierce glance at Philip.
The adolescents went in and out of the yard, naked, hairy, with a colored rag around their loins. They listened to these disconnected discussions and laughed. They too had a Paradise inside them, but they did not confess what it was. They shoveled the hampers into the press and then with one bound were over the threshold and off to rejoin the pretty vintagers.
Zebedee parted his lips to add a clever remark but remained standing with gaping mouth. A strange visitor had appeared at the door and was listening to them. He wore a black goatskin which hung from his neck; his feet were bare, his hair disheveled and his face yellow, like sulphur. His eyes were large, black, and fiery.
The feet ceased treading, Zebedee swallowed his witticism, and everyone turned toward the door. Who was this living corpse who stood on the threshold? The laughter came to a standstill. Old Salome appeared at the window, looked, and suddenly cried, aItas Andrew!a aGood G.o.d, Andrew,a shouted Zebedee, ajust look at you! Are you returning to us from the underworld? Or maybe youare on your way down there!a Peter jumped out of the wine press, clasped his brotheras hand without uttering a word, and looked at him with love and fright. Oh, G.o.d, was this Andrew, Andrew the chubby young hero, the celebrated athlete, first in work and play? Was this the Andrew who had been engaged to flaxen-haired Ruth, the prettiest girl in the village? She had been drowned on the lake together with her father, one night when G.o.d raised a terrible wind, and Andrew had left in despair in order to surrender himself, bound hand and foot, to G.o.d. Who could tell, he thought. If I join G.o.d perhaps I shall find her with him. Obviously, he was seeking his fiance, not G.o.d.
Peter stared at him in terror. He remembered how he had been when they surrendered him to G.o.d; and now, look how G.o.d had returned him to them!
aHey,a Zebedee shouted at Peter, aare you going to stare at him and finger him all day long? Let him come in; out there a wind might blow and knock him down! Come in, Andrew my boy, bend over, take some grapes and eat. We have bread too, glory be to G.o.d. Eat and put some color in your cheeks, because if your poor old father sees you in the state youare in, heall be so scared heall burrow right back into his shark!a But Andrew raised his bony arm: aArenat you ashamed of yourselves!a he shouted to them all. aDonat you fear G.o.d? The world is perishing, and you tread grapes here and laugh!a aThe saints preserve us, hereas another one come to give us a hard time!a grumbled Zebedee, and now he turned to Andrew in a rage. aYou wonat leave us alone either, eh? Weare stuffed to the gills, if you want to know. Is this what your prophet the Baptist proclaims? Well, youad better tell him to change his tune. He says the end of the world has come, that the tombs will open and the dead fly out; he says G.o.d will descenda"Second Coming!a"to open the ledger, and then woe is us! Lies! Lies! Lies! Donat listen to him, lads. On with our work! Tread the grapes!a aRepent! Repent!a bellowed the son of Jonah. He shook himself out of his brotheras embrace and stood in the middle of the yard, directly in front of old Zebedee, with his finger lifted toward the sky.
aFor your own good, Andrew,a said Zebedee, asit down, eat, drink a bit of wine and come to your senses. Poor thing, hunger has driven you mad!a aEasy living has driven you mad, Zebedee,a replied the son of Jonah. aBut the ground is opening under your feet, the Lord is an earthquake, heall swallow your wine press and your boats and you too, you and your confounded belly!a He had caught fire. Shifting his eyes from side to side, he pinned them now on one, now on another, and shouted, aBefore this must turns to wine, the end of the world will come! Put on hair shirts, spread ashes over your heads, beat your b.r.e.a.s.t.s and shout aI have sinned! I have sinned!a The earth is a tree, it has grown rotten, and the Messiah is coming with the ax!a Judas stopped his hammering. His upper lip had rolled back and his sharp teeth gleamed in the sunlight. But Zebedee could control himself no longer.
aFor the love of G.o.d, Peter,a he shouted, atake him and get out of here. Weave work to do. aHeas coming! Heas coming!a Sometimes be holds fire, sometimes a ledger and nowa"what next! An ax. Why canat you leave us alone, you impostors, you deceivers of the people? This world is holding up fine, just finea"thatas what I say! ... Tread the grapes, men, and rest a.s.sured!a Peter patted his brother tenderly on the back to calm him. aBe still,a he said to him softly, abe still, Brother; donat shout. Youare tired from your trip. Letas go home so that you can get some rest and so Father can see you and quiet his heart.a He took him by the hand and slowly, carefully, guided his way as though he were blind. They went up the narrow street and disappeared.
Old Zebedee burst into laughter. aEh, miserable Jonah, my poor old fish-prophet, I wouldnat want to be in your shoes for all the world!a But now it was old Salomeas turn to open her mouth. She still felt Andrewas large eyes hanging over her and burning her. aZebedee,a she said, shaking her white-haired head, amind what you say, old sinner. Do not laugh. An angel stands above us and writes. You will be paid in kind for your scoffing.a aMother is right,a said Jacob, who until now had kept his mouth locked. aYou were within a hairas breadth of suffering the same thing with John, your pet; and as far as I can see, youare still not out of danger. He isnat helping with the vintage, so Iam told by the carriers; heas sitting with the women and s...o...b..ring about G.o.d and fasting and immortal souls. I wouldnat want to be in your shoes either, Father!a He laughed dryly. He could not stomach his lazy, pampered brother, and started furiously to stamp the grapes.
The blood rose to Zebedeeas large head. He, in his turn, could not stomach his eldest sona"they resembled each other too much. A quarrel would have broken out if at that moment Mary, the wife of Joseph of Nazareth, had not appeared at the door, leaning on Johnas arm. Her thin feet were b.l.o.o.d.y and covered with dust from her long journey. For days now she had abandoned her house and gone from village to village, weeping, in search of her unfortunate son. G.o.d had robbed him of his senses; he had departed from the ways of men. Sighing, the mother sang her sonas dirge while he was still alive. She asked, asked everywhere, if anyone had seen him: aHeas tall, thin, barefooted; he was wearing a blue tunic and a black leather belt. Have you noticed him, perhaps?a ... No one had seen him, and it was only now, thanks to Zebedeeas younger son, that she had got on his trail. He was at the monastery in the desert. He had donned the white robe and was prostrate, face down on the earth, praying. ... John, feeling sorry for her, had revealed everything. Now, leaning on his arm, she entered Zebedeeas yard for a bit of rest before she set out for the desert.
Old Salome rose majestically. aWelcome, Mary dear,a she said. aCome inside.a Mary lowered her kerchief to her brows, bowed her head and pa.s.sed through the yard with her eyes on the ground. Grasping her elderly friendas hand, she began to cry.
aItas a great sin for you to cry, my child,a said old Salome. She placed her on the divan and sat down by her side. aYour son is in safety now; heas under G.o.das roof.a aA motheras pain is heavy, Salome,a Mary answered with a sigh. aG.o.d sent me but one boy, and he a blemished one.a Old Zebedee heard her complaint (he was not a bad man if one did not interfere with his profits) and came down from his platform in order to comfort her. aItas his youth, Mary,a he said, ahis youth. Donat worry about ita"it will pa.s.s. Youth, bless it, is like wine, but we sober up soon enough and slide under the yoke without any more kicking. Your son will sober up too, Mary. Take my own son, the one you see before you: heas beginning now to get sober, glory be to G.o.d.a John blushed but did not say a word. He went inside to fetch a cup of cold water and some ripe figs to offer the visitor. The two women, sitting side by side, their heads touching, talked about the boy who had been swept away by G.o.d. They conversed in whispers so that the men would not hear them and by interfering spoil the deep feminine joy given them by pain.
aHe prays and prays, your son tells me, Salome; he prostrates himself so much, his hands and knees have become all calloused. John says also that he doesnat eat, that heas melting away. Heas begun to see wings in the air, too. It seems he even refuses to drink water, in order to see the angels. Where can this affliction lead, Salome? Not even his uncle the rabbi can heal him, and think how many other people possessed with devils he has cured. Why has G.o.d cursed me, Salome; what have I done to him?a She leaned her head against her elderly friendas knees and began to weep.
John appeared with a bra.s.s cup filled with water and five or six figs on a fig leaf. aDonat cry,a he said to her, placing the figs in her lap. aA holy glimmer runs around your sonas entire face. Not everyone sees it, but one night I did: I saw it licking his face and devouring it, and I was frightened. And after the Abbot died, Father Habakkuk dreamed of him every night. He says he held your son by the hand and took him from cell to cell, pointing to him with his outstretched finger, not speaking, just smiling and pointing to him. Finally Father Habakkuk jumped out of bed in terror and roused the other monks. They struggled all together to disentangle the dream. What did the Abbot wish to tell them? Why did he point to their new guest and smile? Suddenly, the day before yesterday, the day I left, the monks were illumined by G.o.d and they untangled the dream. The dead man was instructing them to make your son Abbot. Without losing a moment, the whole monastery-full of monks went and found your son. They fell at his feet and shouted that it was G.o.das will he should become Abbot of the monastery. But your son refused. aNo, no, this is not my road,a he said. aI am unworthy; I shall leave!a I heard his cries of refusal at noon, just as I left the monastery. The monks were threatening to lock him into a cell and place sentries in front of the door to prevent his escape.a aCongratulations, Mary,a said old Salome, her aged face gleaming. aFortunate mother! G.o.d blew into your womb and you donat even realize it!a The woman loved by G.o.d heard and shook her head, unconsoled. aI donat want my son to be a saint,a she murmured. aI want him to be a man like all the rest. I want him to marry and give me grandchildren. That is G.o.das way.a aThat is manas way,a said John softly, as though ashamed to offer an objection. aThe other is G.o.das way, the one your son is following.a They heard voices and laughter from the direction of the vineyards. Two young, flushed carriers entered the yard.
aBad news, bosses,a they shouted, splitting with laughter. aIt looks like Magdalaas risen up. The people have taken stones and are hunting their mermaid in order to kill her!a aWhat mermaid, lads?a yelled the treaders, stopping their dance. aMagdalene?a aYes, Magdalene, bless her! Two mule drivers brought us the news as they went by. They said the bandit chief Barabbasa"phew! all fear and trembling he is!a"they said he left Nazareth and invaded Magdala yesterday, Sat.u.r.day.a aThereas another one for you!a growled Zebedee in a rage. aA plague on him! He says heas a Zealot and will save Israel, him and his beastly snout. May he rot in h.e.l.l, the filthy b.a.s.t.a.r.d! ... Well?a aWell, he went by Magdaleneas house in the evening and found her yard full-up. The excommunicate was working on the holy Sabbath! This impiety was too much for him. In he rushes, yanks his knife out from under his shirt, the merchants draw their swords, the neighbors crowd in too, they all rush at each other, and before you know it the yard turns into a tangled ma.s.s of arms and legs. Two of our men fell wounded; the merchants mounted their camels and ran for their lives. Barabbas broke down the door to find the lady in question and slaughter her. But where was Magdalene? Shead flown the coop, gone out through the back door, unseen! The whole village took up the hunt, but soon it got dark, and there was no chance of finding her. In the morning they scattered in every direction, searched, and got on her trail. It seems they found her tracks in the sanda"and sheas headed for Capernaum!a aWhat luck if she comes, lads!a said Philip, licking his protruding, goat-like lips. aShe was the one thing missing from our Paradise. Yes, we forgot Eve, and now weall certainly be delighted to see her!a aHer water mill is open on the Sabbath too, bless her!a said simple Nathanael, smirking craftily in his beard. He remembered how once, on the eve of the Sabbath, he had bathed, put on clean clothes and shaved. Then the temptation of the bath came and took him by the hand. They went together to Magdala and made a beeline for Magdaleneas housea"bless her! It was winter, business was bad, and Nathanael remained at her mill the whole of the Sabbath, all by himselfa"and ground. He smiled with satisfaction. A great sin, one might say. Yes, indeed, a great sin; but we place all our trust in G.o.d, and G.o.d forgives. ... Calm, poor, hara.s.sed, unmarried, Nathanael spent his whole life sitting in front of a small bench in one corner of the village street making clogs for the villagers and thick sandals for the shepherds. What kind of a life was that! Once, therefore, one precious time in his whole life, he had thrown everything overboard and enjoyed himself like a mana"even if it was on the Sabbath. As we said, G.o.d understands this sort of thinga"and forgives. ...
But old Zebedee scowled. aTroubles! Troubles!a he grumbled. aDo they always have to settle their rows in my yard? First prophets, then wh.o.r.es or weeping fishermen, and now Barabbasesa"this is too much!a He turned to the treaders. aYou, my fine lads, attend to your work. Tread the grapes!a Inside the house, old Salome and Mary the wife of Joseph heard the news, looked at each other and, without saying a word, immediately bowed their heads. Judas abandoned his hammer and went to the street door, where he leaned against the jamb. He had heard everything and had engraved it all in his mind. On his way to the door he threw a savage glance at old Zebedee.
He stood in the doorway and listened. He heard voices and saw a cloud of dust rise up. Men were running; women were screaming, aCatch her! Catch her!a and before the three men had time to jump out of the wine press or old stuff-pockets to slide down from his platform, Magdalene, her clothes in rags and her tongue hanging out of her mouth, entered the yard and fell at old Salomeas feet.
aHelp!a she cried. aHelp! Theyare coming!a Old Salome took pity on the sinner. She got up, closed the window and told her son to bolt the door.
aSquat down on the ground,a she said to Magdalene. aHide yourself.a Mary the wife of Joseph leaned over and looked at this woman who had gone astray, looked at her with both sympathy and horror. None but honest women know how bitter and slippery honor is, and she pitied her. But at the same time this sinful body seemed to her a wild beast, s.h.a.ggy, dark and dangerous. This beast had almost s.n.a.t.c.hed away her son when he was twenty years old, but he had escaped by a hairas breadth. Yes, he escaped the woman, Mary thought, with a sigh, but what about G.o.d. ...
Old Salome placed her hand on Magdaleneas burning head. aWhy are you crying, my child?a she asked with compa.s.sion.