aWell, well!a she shouted. aGreetings, Carpenter. So you too are going to worship at the shrine, eh?a She closed the door amid peals of laughter.
The son of Mary blushed scarlet, but gathered up strength. I must, I must, he thought; I must fall at her feet and beg her forgiveness.
He quickened his pace. Her house was at the other end of the village, surrounded by a small orchard of pomegranates. He remembered it well: a green single-leafed door decorated with a painting of two intertwined snakes, one black and one white, the work of one of her lovers, a Bedouin; and above the lintel, a large yellow lizard, its legs stretched out on both sides as though it were being crucified.
He got lost, retraced his steps, returned to where he had beena"ashamed to ask his way. It was almost noon. He stopped under the shade of an olive tree to catch his breath. A rich merchant pa.s.sed by. He had a short black curly beard, black almond-shaped eyes, many rings, and an aristocratic air. The son of Mary followed him.
He must be one of G.o.das angels, he thought as he walked behind him and admired the n.o.ble stature of his young body and the expensive cashmere shawl, embroidered with stunning birds and flowers, which covered his shoulders. He must be one of G.o.das angels, and he came down to show me the way.
The foreign n.o.bleman strode unerringly through the winding alleys. Soon the green door with the two intertwined snakes came into view. An old crone sat outside on a stool. She had a grate filled with burning coals and was broiling crabs. Next to this were roasted pumpkin seeds and, in two deep wooden plates, chick-pea meatb.a.l.l.s which she sold smothered in pepper.
The young n.o.bleman bent over, gave a silver coin to the old lady, and entered. The son of Mary entered behind him.
Four merchants, lined up one behind the other, sat cross-legged on the ground of the courtyard: two old men with painted eye lashes and nails, two young men with black beards and mustaches. They all had their eyes riveted on the tiny, squat door of Maryas chamber. It was closed. Now and then a shout issued from inside, or laughter, or the sound of someone being tickled, or the creaking of the beda"and the worshipers immediately broke off the chattering they had begun and, gasping for breath, shifted their positions. The Bedouin who had entered such a long time ago was late in coming out, and all the others in the courtyard, young and old alike, were in a hurry. The young Indian n.o.bleman sat down in his place in the line, and behind him sat the son of Mary.
An immense pomegranate tree laden with fruit was in the middle of the court and two imposing cypresses stood on either side of the street door, one male with a trunk as straight as a sword, the other female with wide-open spreading branches. Suspended from the pomegranate was a wicker cage containing a richly decorated partridge which hopped up and down, nipped, kicked her rails and cackled.
The worshipers were munching dates which they took from their girdles, or biting nutmeg seeds to sweeten their breath. They had engaged each other in conversation in order to pa.s.s the time. Turning, they greeted the young n.o.bleman and looked with disdain at the poorly dressed son of Mary behind him. The old man who was first in line sighed.
aThereas no martyrdom greater than mine,a he said. aHere I am in front of Paradise, and the door is closed.a A youth with golden bands around his ankles laughed. aI transport spices from the Euphrates to the Great Sea. Do you see this partridge with the red claws here in front of us? Iam going to buy Mary with a shipment of cinnamon and pepper, put her in a gold cage and take her away. So, my l.u.s.ty friends, what you have to do, do it quickly: itas the last kiss youall get.a aThanks, my good-looking stalwart,a the second old man interrupted at this point. He had a snowy-white scented beard and slim-boned aristocratic hands, the palms of which were dyed with cinchona. aWhat youave just said will season todayas kiss that much more.a The young n.o.bleman had lowered his heavy eyelids. His upper body swayed slowly back and forth and his lips stirred as though he were saying his prayers. Already, before entering Paradise, he had plunged into everlasting beat.i.tude. He heard the cackling of the partridge, the tickling and the creaking inside the bolted chamber, heard the old woman at the door load her grate with live crabs, which then hopped onto the coals.
This is Paradise, he meditated, overcome with a great la.s.situde; this, the deep sleep we call life, the sleep in which we dream of Paradise. There is no other Paradise. I can get up now and go, for I require no further joy.
A huge, green-turbaned man in front of him pushed him with his knee and laughed. aPrince of India, what does your G.o.d have to say about all this?a The youth opened his eyes. aAll what?a he asked.
aHere, in front of you: men, women, crabs, love.a aThat everything is a dream.a aWell, then, my brave ladsa"take care,a interrupted the old man with the snowy beard, who was telling his beads on a long amber chaplet. aTake care not to wake up!a The small door opened and the Bedouin emerged. Swollen-eyed, he came forward slowly, licking his chops. The old man whose turn was next jumped up at once, as nimble as a strapping twenty-year-old boy.
aBye-bye, Grandpa. Pity us and do it fast!a yelled the three whose turns followed.
But the old man was already removing his belt and advancing toward the chamber. This was no time for chatter! He entered and slammed the door behind him.
They all eyed the Bedouin with envy, no one daring to speak. They sensed that he was cruising over deep waters far, far away, and indeed he did not so much as turn to look at them. He staggered through the courtyard, reached the street door, missed knocking over the old croneas grate by a fraction of an inch, and disappeared finally into the crooked lanes. At that point, in order to redirect their thoughts, the huge fat man with the green turban started, out of a clear sky, to talk about lions, seas and faraway coral isles.
The time went by. Now and then the slow, gentle clicking of the amber beads could be heard. All eyes were pinned once more on the squat doorway. The old man was late, very late, in coming out.
The young Indian n.o.bleman got up. The others turned with astonishment. Why had he got up? Wasnat he going to speak? Was he about to leave? ... He was happy. His face was resplendent; a gentle glow patched his cheeks. He wrapped the cashmere shawl tightly around him, put his hand to his heart and lips, and took his leave. His shadow pa.s.sed tranquilly over the threshold.
aHe woke up,a said the youth with the golden rings about his ankles. He tried to laugh, but a strange fear had suddenly overcome them all, and they began with anxious haste to discuss profit and loss, and the prices current in the slave markets of Alexandria and Damascus. Soon, however, they reverted to their barefaced talk of women and boys, and they stuck out their tongues and licked their chops.
aLord, O Lord,a the son of Mary murmured, awhere have you thrown me? Into what kind of yard? To sit up with what kind of men! This, Lord, is the greatest degradation of all. Give me strength to endure it!a The pilgrims were hungry. One of them shouted, and the old crone entered, portioned out bread, crabs and patties of meat to the four men, and brought a jug of date wine. They crossed their legs, placed the meal in their laps and began to clap their jaws. One of them, feeling in a good mood, threw a large crab sh.e.l.l at the door and shouted, aHey, Grandpa, do it quick; donat take all day!a They all burst into peals of laughter.
aLord, O Lord,a the son of Mary murmured again, agive me the strength to stay until my turn comes.a The old man with the scented beard felt sorry for him.
aHey, you, my fine lad,a he said, turning, aarenat you hungry or thirsty? Come here and have a bite; it will give you strength.a aYes, poor fellow, youad better eat,a the colossus with the green turban added, laughing. aWhen your turn comes and you go inside, we donat want you to put us men to shame.a The son of Mary blushed scarlet, lowered his head and did not speak.
aThis oneas dreaming too,a said the old man, shaking out the crumbs and bits of crab which had filled his beard. aYes, by Saint Beelzebub, heas dreaming. Heall get up now like the other and leave, mark my words.a The son of Mary looked around him, terrified. Could the Indian n.o.bleman really be right? Could all thisa"yard, pomegranate, grate, partridge, mena"be a dream? Perhaps he was still under the cedar, dreaming.
He turned toward the street door as though seeking help, and saw his eagle-headed fellow voyager standing motionless next to the male cypress, armed to the teeth in bronze. Now, for the first time, the sight of her made him feel relieved and secure.
The old man came out, panting, and the huge green-turbaned man went in. Hours later came the turn of the youth with the golden bands around his ankles, then that of the old man with the amber rosary. The son of Mary now remained all alone in the yard, waiting.
The sun was about to set. Two clouds were sailing in the sky. They stopped, laden with gold. A thin gilding of frost fell over trees, soil and the faces of men.
The old man with the amber rosary came out. Stopping for a moment on the threshold, he wiped his running eyes, nose and lips, then shuffled with drooping shoulders toward the street door.
The son of Mary got up and turned to the male cypress. His companion lifted her foot, ready to follow behind him. He wanted to speak to her, to beg her to wait for him outside the door, to tell her that he wished to be alone, that he would not run away; but he knew his words would go to waste, and he remained silent. Tightening the strap around his middle, he raised his eyes and looked at the heavens. He hesitated, but a hoa.r.s.e voice called angrily from within the chamber: aIs there anyone else? Come in!a It was Magdalene. Summoning all his strength, he went forward. The door was half open and he entered, trembling.
Magdalene lay on her back, stark naked, drenched in sweat, her raven-black hair spread out over the pillow and her arms entwined beneath her head. Her face was turned toward the wall and she was yawning. Wrestling with men on this bed since dawn had tired her out. Her hair, nails and every inch of her body exuded smells of all nations, and her arms, neck and b.r.e.a.s.t.s were covered with bites.
The son of Mary lowered his eyes. He had stopped in the middle of the room, unable to go farther. Magdalene waited without moving, her face turned toward the wall. But she heard no masculine grunts behind her, no one getting undressed, not even a panting breath. Frightened, she abruptly turned her face in order to seea"and all at once uttered a cry, seized the sheet and wrapped herself up.
aYou! You!a she shouted, covering her lips and eyes with her palms.
aMary,a he said, aforgive me!a Magdalene burst into a fit of hoa.r.s.e, heart-rending laughter. You thought her vocal cords were about to snap into a thousand pieces.
aMary,a he repeated, aforgive me!a And then she jumped up onto her knees, tightly enclosed in the sheet, and lifted her fist: aIs this why you entered my yard, my young gallant? Is this why you mixed yourself in with my lovers: to hoax your way into my house in order to bring G.o.d the boogeyman down to me here on my hot bed? Well, youare late, my friend, very late; and as for your G.o.d, I donat want hima"heas already broken my heart!a She moaned and spoke at the same time, and her infuriated breast heaved up and down behind the sheet.
aHeas broken my heart, broken my heart,a she moaned again, and two tears welled up into her eyes and remained suspended on her long lashes.
aDonat blaspheme, Mary. Iam to blame, not G.o.d. Thatas why I came: I want to beg your forgiveness.a But Magdalene exploded. aYou and your G.o.d have the identical snout; youare one and the same and I canat tell you apart. Sometimes I happen to think of him at night, and when I doa"curse the hour!a"itas with your face that he bears down on me out of the darkness; and when I chance to meet you on the streeta"curse the hour!a"I feel that itas still G.o.d I see rushing directly for me.a She lifted her fist into the air. aDonat bother me with G.o.d,a she yelled. aGet out of here and donat let me see you again. Thereas only one refuge and consolation for mea"the mud! Only one synagogue where I enter to pray and cleanse myselfa"the mud!a aMary, listen to me, let me speak, donat fall into despair. Thatas exactly what Iave come for, my sister: to pull you out of the mud. I have committed many sinsa"Iam on my way to the desert now to expiate thema"many sins, Mary, but your calamity weighs on me the most.a Magdalene thrust her sharp nails toward the unexpected guest, maniacally, as though she wanted to tear open his cheeks.
aWhat calamity?a she shrieked. aIam getting along fine, just fine; I donat need your holinessas compa.s.sion! I fight my own fight, all alone, and I ask no help from men, or from G.o.ds or devils either. Iam fighting to save myself, and save myself I will.a aSave yourself from what, from whom?a aNot, as you think, from the mud, G.o.d bless it! Thatas where all my hopes area"in the mud. Itas my road of salvation.a aThe mud?a aYes, the mud: shame, filth, this bed, this body of mine, covered as it is with bites and smeared with the whole worldas drivel, sweat and slime! Donat cast your covetous sheepas eye upon me like that. Keep your distance, coward! I donat want you here. You disgust me; donat touch me! In order to forget one man, in order to save myself, Iave surrendered my body to all men!a The son of Mary lowered his head. aItas my fault,a he repeated in a strangulated voice, and he clutched the strap which was tied around him, still splashed with blood. aForgive me, my sister. Itas my fault, but I shall pay off my debt.a Savage laughter again tore the womanas throat. aYou bleat away piteously: aItas my fault ... itas my fault, my sister ... I shall save you ...a but oh no, you donat lift your head like a man to confess the truth. You crave my body, and instead of saying so, which you wouldnat dare, you start blaming my soul and saying you want to save it. What soul, daydreamer? A womanas soul is her flesh. You know it, you know it; but you donat have the courage to take this soul in your arms like a man and kiss ita"kiss it and save it! I pity you and detest you!a aYouare possessed with seven devils, wh.o.r.e!a cried the youth now, who had turned fiery red with shame. aSeven devils. Yes, your unlucky father is right.a Magdalene shuddered. She angrily gathered her hair into a coil and tied it up with a ribbon of red silk. For a considerable time she did not speak, but finally her lips moved. aNot seven devils, son of Mary, not seven devilsa"seven wounds. You must learn that a woman is a wounded doe. She has no other joy, poor thing, except to lick her wounds.a Her eyes filled with tears. She wiped them away with one sweep of her palm, then exploded in a frenzy. aWhy did you come here? What do you want from me, standing over my bed like that? Go away!a The young man came one step closer. aMary, try to remember back to when we were still small children ...a aI donat remember! What kind of a man are you? Still driveling? You ought to be ashamed of yourself! You never had the courage to stand up by yourself like a man and not rely on anyone. If youare not hanging on to your motheras ap.r.o.n strings, youare hanging on to mine, or G.o.das. You canat stand by yourself, because youare scared. You donat dare look deep into your own soula"or into your body for that mattera"because youare scared. And now youare off to the desert to hide, to stick your snout into the sanda"because youare scared! Scared, scared! Poor fellow, I detest you, I pity you, and whenever I bring you to mind, my heart cracks in two.a Unable to continue, she began to weep. Although she wiped her eyes rapidly, the tears, together with her make-up, ran more and more furiously and bemired the sheets.
The young man felt a spasm in his heart. Oh, if he could only lose his fear of G.o.d, could only clasp her in his arms, wipe away her tears, caress her hair and gladden her heart; then take her with him and leave!
If he was a man, truly, that was what he had to do to save her. What did she care about fasting, prayer and monasteries? No, these were not the waya"how could they possibly save a woman? To take her from this bed, to leave, to open a workshop in a distant village, for the two of them to live like man and wife, have children, suffer and rejoice like human beings: that was the womanas way of salvation and the way in which the man could be saved with hera"the only way!
Night was falling now. Far in the distance thunder rumbled; a flash of lightning entered through a crack in the door and ignited Maryas now-livid face, only to snuff it out again. New thunderclaps were heard, closer than before. The choking sky had come down and nearly touched the earth.
A great weariness suddenly overcame the youth. His knees sagged; he sat down cross-legged on the ground. The nauseating stench of musk, sweat and he-goats. .h.i.t his nostrils. He stroked his throat with his palm so that he would not throw up.
He heard Maryas voice in the darkness. aTurn your head the other way. I want to get up to light the lamp, and Iam naked.a aIam going to leave,a said the youth softly. Summoning up all his strength, he rose.
But Mary pretended that she had not heard. aTake a look in the yard, and if anyoneas still there, tell him to go away.a The youth opened the door and put out his head. The air had become dark. Large scattered drops were being slung at the pomegranate leaves; the sky hung over the earth, ready to fall. The old crone had taken her lighted grate and burrowed into the yard, where she stood glued to the trunk of the male cypress. The heavy drops began to come down harder and harder.
aNo one,a said the youth, quickly closing the door. The squall had now lashed out in full force.
Magdalene had jumped out of bed in the meantime and covered herself with a warm woolen shawl embroidered with lions and deer, presented to her that morning by a loving Ethiopian. Her shoulders and loins shuddered with delight at the sweet warmth of the garment. Stretching up on tiptoe, she unhooked the lamp from the wall.
aNo one,a the youth repeated, with gladness in his voice.
aThe old lady?a aUnder the cypress. Itas a real squall.a Mary flew into the yard, discovered the lighted grate in the darkness, and approached.
aGrandmother Noemi,a she said, pointing toward the bolt of the street door, atake your grate and your crabs and go home. Iall lock up. No one else tonight!a aYouave got your lover inside, eh?a hissed the old woman, vexed at losing her night customers.
aYes,a Magdalene answered, aheas inside. Go!a Grumbling, the old lady got up and gathered together her utensils.
aHeas a real beauty, your ragam.u.f.fin,a she mumbled softly with her toothless gums, but Mary, who was in a hurry, shoved her outside and barred the door. The heavens had opened; the whole sky was pouring into her yard. She uttered a shrill cry of joy, just as she used to do as a child every time she saw the first autumn rain. When she got inside, her shawl was drenched.
The youth stood in the middle of the room, unable to make up his mind whether to stay or go. Which was G.o.das will? It was pleasant here, and warm; he had even become accustomed to the nauseating odor. Outside: wind, rain and cold. He knew no one in Magdala, and Capernaum was far away. Should he go or stay? His soul swung back and forth like a ringing bell.
aItas coming down in buckets, Jesus. I bet you havenat eaten a thing today. Help me light the fire and weall cook.a Her voice was tender and attentive, like a motheras.
aIam going to leave,a said the youth, turning toward the door.
aSit down and weall eat together!a Magdalene ordered. aDoes the thought disgust you? Are you afraid youall pollute yourself by eating with a wh.o.r.e?a The youth took logs and kindling from the corner, bent down by the stone jamb of the fireplace, in front of the two andirons, and lighted the fire.
Magdaleneas heart had grown calm. Smiling now, she filled a pot with water and placed it on the fire. From a sack hanging on the wall she took two heaping handfuls of de-eyed broad beans and threw them in. Then she knelt in front of the lighted fire and listened. Outside, the floodgates of heaven had opened up.
aJesus,a she said quietly, ayou asked me if I remembered when we were children and played together. ...a But the young man, kneeling like Magdalene in front of the hearth, simply stared at the fire, his mind far away. He felt as though he had already reached the monastery in the desert, as though he had put on the white robe and begun to promenade in the solitude; and his heart was a small, happy goldfish swimming in the deep, tranquil waters of G.o.d. Outside, the world was falling apart; within him, peace, love and security.
aJesus,a the voice next to him repeated, ayou asked me if I remembered when we were children and played together. ...a Magdaleneas face, reflecting the light of the flames, glowed like red-hot iron. But the youth, submerged in the desert, did not hear.
aJesus,a the woman said again, ayou were three and I was one year older. There were three steps leading to the door of our house and I used to sit on the highest one and watch you struggle for hours, unable to mount the first step. You fell, you got up again, and I did not even lift my little finger to help you. I wanted you to come to me, but not before you suffered greatly. ... Do you remember?a A devil, one of her seven devils, was goading her on to speak to the man and tempt him.
aHours later you would finally manage to climb up the first step. Then you struggled to mount the second, then the thirda"where I sat, motionless, waiting for you. And thena"a The youth gave a start and held out his hand. aBe still,a he shouted; adonat go further!a But the womanas face gleamed and flickered; the flames licked her eyebrows, lips, chin and uncovered throat. She took a handful of laurel leaves, threw them in the fire, and sighed.
aThen you took me by the handa"yes, you took me by the hand, Jesusa"and we went inside and lay down on the pebbles of the yard. We glued the soles of our feet together, felt the warmth of our bodies mix, rise from our feet to our thighs, from our thighs to our loins. Then we closed our eyes anda"a aQuiet!a the youth shouted again. He lifted his hand in order to cover her mouth, but restrained himselfa"he was afraid to touch her lips.
The woman sighed now and continued, lowering her voice to a murmur. aNever in my whole life have I felt such sweetness.a She paused, and then: ait is that sweetness, Jesus, which Iave been seeking ever since from man to man; but I have not found it.a The youth buried his face between his knees. aAdonai,a he murmured, aAdonai, help!a The warm, peaceful chamber was silent except for the bubbling of the fragrant pot of beans, and the hissing of the fire as it devoured the wood. Outside, the male waters poured out of the skies with a roar and the earth opened its thighs and giggled.
aJesus, what are you thinking about?a asked Magdalene, not daring now to face the man.
aIam thinking about G.o.d,a he answered in a strangulated voice, aabout G.o.d, Adonai ...a As he spoke, he repented of having p.r.o.nounced the sacred name in a house such as this.
Magdalene jumped up and paced back and forth between the fire and the door. Her mind had grown furious.
G.o.d is the great enemy, she was thinking; yes, G.o.d. He never fails to intrude; he is evil, jealous; he wonat let a person be happy. She stopped behind the door and c.o.c.ked her ear. The heavens were bellowing. A whirlwind had arisen and the pomegranates in the yard knocked against one another and were ready to break.
aThe rain has let up a little,a she said.
aIall go,a replied the youth, rising.
aEat first and put some strength into your body. Where can you go at such an hour? Itas pitch-black outside and still raining.a She took down a round mat from the wall and spread it out on the floor. She removed the ca.s.serole from the fire, opened a small cupboard recessed in the wall and took out a toasted barley roll and two earthenware soup plates.
aThis is the prost.i.tuteas meal,a she said. aEat, you essence of piety, eata"if it doesnat disgust you.a The hungry youth did not hesitate to put out his hand. The woman t.i.ttered.
aIs that the way you eat?a she hissed. aWithout saying grace? Hadnat you better give thanks to G.o.d for sending bread, broad beans and wh.o.r.es?a Jesusa mouthful stuck in his throat.
aWhy do you hate me, Mary?a he said. aWhy do you tease me? Look, tonight I am about to break bread with you; we have become friends again. Let bygones be bygones, and forgive me. Thatas why Iave come.a aEat, and stop your whining. If the forgiveness is not given, take it! Youare a man.a She lifted her hand and divided the bread, laughing. aBlessed be the name of Him who sends bread, broad beans and wh.o.r.es to the worlda"and pious guests!a They remained kneeling one opposite the other under the light of the lamp, and said nothing more. Both were hungry, both had suffered much anguish on this day, and they ate to replenish their forces.
The rain outside began to subside. The sky had found relief; the earth was filled. There was no sound except the cackling laughter of the rivulets which ran happily down the villageas cobbled streets.
They finished eating. The tiny cupboard also contained a sip of wine, which they drank, and several fully ripe dates for the sweet tooth. For some time, both remained silent and watched the fire, which was about to go out. Their minds rose and fell, danced with the dying flames.
It was cold. The youth got up and put more wood on the fire; Magdalene took another handful of laurel leaves and threw them on top: perfume filled the room. She went to the door and opened it. A wind had arisen; the clouds had already scattered. Two large stars, freshly bathed and immaculate, gleamed brilliantly over her yard.
aIs it still raining?a asked the youth, who stood again in the middle of the room, unable to make up his mind.
But Magdalene did not answer. She unrolled a mat, went to her trunk, took out sheets and thick woolen blanketsa"gifts from her loversa"and made up a bed in front of the fire.
aYouall sleep here,a she said. aItas cold and windy out, and almost midnight. Where can you go? Youall catch your death of cold. Hereas where youare going to sleep: next to the fire.a The youth shuddered. aHere!a aAre you afraid? Well, rest a.s.sured, my innocent dove, I wonat bother you. No, I wonat tempt you, I wonat touch your virginity, my peta"such as itas worth!a She put still more wood on the fire and lowered the wick of the lamp. aPleasant dreams,a she said. aTomorrow we both have much to do. Youall set out along the road again, to seek your salvation; Iall set out along another road, my own, and I too will be seeking salvation. Each his own road, and we shall never meet again. Good night.a She fell onto her mattress and thrust her face into the pillow, biting the sheets all night long to hold back her cries and tears. She was afraid that if the man who was sleeping next to the fire heard her, he would take fright and leave. All night long she listened to him breathe tranquilly, restfully, like an infant nursing at the breast; and she,-lamenting softly within herself with tender, protracted sighs, lay awake and lulled him to sleep like a mother.
The next day at dawn she looked out between half-closed eyelashes and saw him get up, secure the leather strap tightly about his waist, and open the door. There he halted. He wanted to leave, but at the same time he did not want to leave. Turning, he looked at the bed and took a hesitating step toward it. He leaned overa"it still was not very bright inside the rooma"he leaned over as though he wanted to find the woman and touch her. His left hand was thrust beneath the strap; with his right he covered his chin and mouth.
The woman lay on her back, motionless, her hair veiling her naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She watched him through her eyelashes, and her whole body trembled.
His lips moved: aMary ...a But as soon as he heard his own voice, he took fright. He reached the threshold with one bound, strode hurriedly across the courtyard and unbolted the door.
And thena"jolting up from her mattress and throwing off the sheetsa"then Mary Magdalene began to weep.
Chapter Eight.
THE MONASTERY lay perched in the desert beyond the lake of Gennesaret, built of ash-red stones and wedged in and hidden between huge ash-red rocks. Midnight. ... Out of the sky the waters fell, not in drops, but in floods. The hyenas, wolves and jackals howled, as did a pair of lions farther awaya"infuriated by the repeated thunderclaps. Plunged in impenetrable darkness, the monastery was frequently striped by the lightning flashes: the G.o.d of Sinai seemed to be flogging it. The monks were fallen face downward in their cells, beseeching Adonai not to drown the earth once more. Hadnat he given his word to the patriarch Noah? Hadnat he stretched a rainbow from earth to heaven as a sign of friendship?
The only light was in the Abbotas cell. Joachim, the Abbot, sat beneath the seven-branched candelabrum in his elevated stall of cypress wood and listeneda"skinny, short of breath, his white beard like a river, his arms crossed, eyes closeda"listened to John, the young novice, who stood at the lectern and read to him from the prophet Daniel.
aaA night vision fell upon me. I saw the four winds of heaven bound over the Great Sea. And four large beasts came up out of the sea and the one did not resemble the other. The first was like a lion and had the wings of an eagle. I beheld it until its wings were uprooted and it was made to stand upright on its feet like a man; and a manas heart was wedged into its breast. And behold, there emerged a second beast and it resembled a bear; and someone said to it, Arise, devour much flesh. I looked and lo, a third beast. It resembled a leopard and had four wings on its back, like a bird. This beast had four heads, and dominion was given to it ...a a The novice felt uneasy and stopped. He no longer heard the Abbot sigh or drive his nails with agitation into the stall; no longer even heard him breathe. Could he have died? For days and days now he had refused to put food into his mouth. He was angry with G.o.d and wanted to die. He wanted to diea"that he made absolutely clear to the brothersa"so that his soul might be unburdened of the body, might be relieved of this weight and enabled to ascend to heaven in order to find G.o.d. He had a complaint to settle with him: it was necessary for him to see him and talk to him. But the body was lead; it prevented his ascent. He decided, therefore, to send it about its business, to abandon it in the grave so that the true Joachim could ascend to heaven and tell G.o.d his grievance. This was his duty. Wasnat he one of the Fathers of Israel? The people had mouths, but no voice. They could not stand in front of G.o.d and relate their suffering. But Joachim could; he had no choice!
The novice turned and looked. Beneath the seven flames the Abbotas head, pitted like old, worm-eaten wood, roughened by the sun and fasting: how it resembled the primordial rain-washed skulls of beasts which caravans sometimes encountered in the desert! What visions that head had seen, how many times heaven had opened up before it, how many times the bowels of h.e.l.l! His mind was a Jacobas ladder on which all of Israelas anxieties and hopes climbed up and down.
Opening his eyes, the Abbot saw the novice standing before him, deathly pale. In the light of the menorah the blond fuzz on his cheeks glowed in all its virginity, and his eyes, swept away far into the distance, were full of affliction.
The Abbotas severe expression sweetened. He loved this well-formed youth whom he had s.n.a.t.c.hed from old Zebedee, his father, and brought here to be delivered up to G.o.d. He liked his submissiveness and ferocity, the silent lips and insatiable eyes, his sweetness and quick intelligence. One day, he reflected, this boy will speak with G.o.d, will do what I could not do; and the two wounds which I have on my shoulders, he will transform into wings. I did not rise to heaven during my lifetime, but he will during his.
The boy had come to the monastery once with his parents. It was to celebrate the Pa.s.sover. The Abbot, a distant relation of old Zebedeeas, received them merrily and sat them at his own table. John was about sixteen years old at the time. While he ate, bent over his food, he felt the Abbotas eye fall upon his scalp, push aside the bones, pa.s.s through the suture lines of his skull, into the brain. Terrified, he looked up, and the two glances joined in mid-air over the paschal table. From that day on, neither fishing boats nor the lake of Gennesaret had been large enough for the boy. He sighed and withered away until one morning old Zebedee grew weary and shouted, aYour mind isnat on the fishing; itas on G.o.d. Well, go on, go to the monastery. I had two sons. G.o.d willed that I divide them with him, so letas divide them and be done with ita"and let him have his way!a The Abbot gazed at the boy who stood before him. He had intended to scold him, but as he looked at him, his expression sweetened. aWhy did you stop, my child?a he asked. aYou abandoned the vision in the middle. One mustnat do that. Heas a prophet, and prophets must be revered.a The boy turned fiery red, rolled the leathern scroll out on the lectern once more, and began again, chanting on one invariable note, to read: a aAfter this I saw in my night visions a fourth beast, dreadful and sinister and terribly strong; and it had great iron teeth. It devoured and broke in pieces, and trampled the remainder with its feet. It did not resemble any of the other beasts; and it had ten hornsa"a a aStop!a shouted the Abbot. aThatas enough!a The cry frightened the boy, and the sacred text rolled down onto the flagstones. He picked it up, placed his lips to it and kissed it; then went and stood in the corner, his eyes riveted on his superior. The Abbot, his fingernails now clawed into the stall, was shouting. aDaniel, all your prophecies have been fulfilled. The four beasts have pa.s.sed over us. The lion with the wings of the eagle came and tore us open, the bear who feeds on Hebrew flesh came and ate us, the four-headed leopard came and bit us, east, west, north and south. The shameful beast with the iron teeth and the ten horns sits now above us: he has not come yet, has not fled. All the ignominy and fear you prophesied you would send us, Lord, you have senta"and we thank you! But you prophesied good things too. Why havenat you sent those? Why are you so tight-fisted where they are concerned? Youave given us a liberal supply of calamities; now give us generously of your benefits! Where is the son of man you promised us? ... John, read!a The boy moved away from the corner where he had been standing with the scroll under his shirt. Going up to the lectern, he began again to read. But his voice, like his superioras, had now grown fierce.
a aI looked in my night visions and, behold, one like a son of man came upon the clouds of heaven and approached the Ancient of days, and was brought near to him. And to him was given dominion and glory and the kingdom, and all peoples, nations and men of all tongues served him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion, that shall never end; and his kingdom is indestructible.a a The Abbot, unable to restrain himself any longer, left his stall, took one step, then one more, reached the lectern, tripped and was about to fall, but managed to put his palm heavily down on the holy ma.n.u.script and steady himself.
aWhere is the son of man you promised us? Did you give us your word or didnat you? You canat deny ita"here it is in writing!a He banged his hand angrily, exultantly, on the prophecy. aHere it is in writing! John, read it again!a But the Abbot could not wait. Before the novice had time to start, he seized the scripture, lifted it high into the light and began, without looking, to cry out in a triumphant voice: aaTo him was given dominion and glory and the kingdom, and all peoples, nations and men of all tongues served him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion, that shall never end; and his kingdom is indestructible.a a He left the scroll open on the lectern and looked through the window at the darkness outside.
aWell, where is the son of man?a he shouted, gazing into the blackness. aHe isnat yours any more, seeing that you promised him to usa"heas ours! Well, where is he? Why donat you give him dominion, glory and the kingdom so that your people, the people of Israel, can govern the whole universe? Our necks are stiff from watching the sky and waiting for it to open. When, when? Yesa"why do you harp on ita"we know well enough that one second for you is a thousand years for men. All right, but if youare just, Lord, youall measure the time with manas measure, not with yours. Thatas what justice means!a He started toward the window, but his knees sagged and he halted and thrust out his hands as though he wanted to steady himself on the air. The boy ran to support him, but the Abbot grew angry and nodded to him not to touch him. Calling up all his strength, he reached the window, leaned against the wall, extended his head as far as he could, and looked out. Darkness. ... The flashes of lightning were fewer now, but the waters still thundered down upon the rocks which flanked the monastery. Every time the cacti were hit by lightning they seemed to whirl about and be transformed: they became a nation of cripples with the leprous stumps of their arms lifted toward the sky.
Tensing body and soul, the Abbot listened. From far in the distance came the howling of the wild game of the desert. The animals were not hungry; they were afraid. Close by, almost on top of them, a beast wrapped in fire and whirlwind bellowed and approached in the darkness. The Abbot listened to the voices of the desert and as he listened suddenly he shuddered and turned. Some invisible being had entered his cell! He looked. The seven flames of the candelabrum flickered turbulently and were on the point of going out; the nine strings of the harp, which was leaning unused in a corner, vibrated wildly, as though some invisible hand had seized them in a fury in order to snap them. The Abbot began to tremble.
aJohn,a he said softly, looking around him, acome here, close to me.a The boy flew out of his corner and approached.
aCommand me, Father,a he said, and he placed his knees on the ground, to prostrate himself.
aJohn, go and call the monks. I have something to tell them before I depart.a aBefore you depart, Father?a The boy shuddered. Two large black wings, beating in back of the old man, had caught his eye.