The days and nights went by like flashes of white and black lightning. One midnight a lion came and stood in front of him, proudly shaking its mane. Its voice was like a manas: aWelcome to my lair, victorious ascetic. I salute the man who conquered the minor virtues, the small joys, and happiness! We donat like whatas easy and sure; our sights are on difficult things. Magdalene isnat a big enough wife for us: we wish to marry the entire Earth. Bridegroom, the bride has sighed, the lamps of the heavens are lighted, the guests have arrived: let us go.a aWho are you?a aYourselfa"the hungry lion inside your heart and loins that at night prowls around the sheepfolds, the kingdoms of this world, and weighs whether or not to jump in and eat. I rush from Babylon to Jerusalem, from Jerusalem to Alexandria, from Alexandria to Rome, shouting: I am hungry; everything is mine! At daybreak I re-enter your breast and shrink; the terrifying lion becomes a lamb. I play at being the humble ascetic who desires nothing, who seems able to live on a grain of wheat, a sip of water and on a nave, accommodating G.o.d whom he tries to flatter with the name of Father. But secretly, in my heart, I am ashamed; I grow fierce and yearn for nightfall when I can throw off my sheepskin and begin once more to roar, roam the night and stamp my four feet down on Babylon, Jerusalem, Alexandria and Rome.a aI donat know who you are. I never desired the kingdom of this world. The kingdom of heaven is sufficient for me.a aIt is not. You deceive yourself, friend. It is not sufficient for you. You donat dare gaze within yourself, deep within your loins and hearta"to find me. ... Why do you look askance and think ill of me? Do you believe I am Temptation, an emissary of the Sly One, come to mislead you? You brainless hermit, what strength can external temptation have? The fortress is taken only from within. I am the deepest voice of your deepest self; I am the lion within you. You have wrapped yourself in the skin of a lamb to encourage men to approach you, so that you can devour them. Remember, when you were a small child a Chaldean sorceress looked at your palm. aI see many stars,a she said, amany crosses. You shall become king.a Why do you pretend to forget? You remember it day and night. Rise, son of David, and enter your kingdom!a Jesus listened with bowed head. Little by little he recognized the voice, little by little he recalled having heard it sometimes in his dreams and once when he was a child and Judas had thrashed him, and one other time when he had left his house and roamed the fields for days and nights pinched by hunger, then returned shamefully home, to be greeted with hoots by his brothers, lame Simon and pious Jacob, who were standing in the doorway. Then, truly, he had heard the lion roar inside him. ... And only the other day, when he carried the cross to the Zealotas crucifixion and pa.s.sed before the stormy crowd, everyone looking at him with disgust and moving out of his path, the lion had again jumped up within him, and with such force that he was thrown down.
And now, in this forsaken midnighta"look! The bellowing lion inside him had come out and stood before him. It rubbed itself against him, vanished and reappeared, as though going in and out of him, and playfully tapped him with its tail. ... Jesus felt his heart grow more and more ferocious. The lion is really right, he thought. Iave had enough of all this. Iam fed up with being hungry, with wanting to play at humility, with offering the other cheek only to get it slapped. Iam tired of flattering this man-eating G.o.d with the name of Father in order to cajole him to be more gentle; tired of hearing my brothers curse me, my mother weep, men laugh when I go by; sick of going barefooted, of not being able to buy the honey, wine and women I see when I pa.s.s by the market, and of finding courage only in my sleep to have G.o.d bring them to me, so that I can taste and embrace the empty air! Iam sick of it all! I shall rise, gird myself with the ancestral sworda"am I not the son of David?a"and enter my kingdom! The lion is right. Enough of ideas and clouds and kingdoms of heaven. Stones and soil and flesha"that is my kingdom!
He rose. Somewhere he found the strength to jump up and gird himself, gird himself interminably with an invisible sword, bellowing like a lion. He was ready. aForward!a he cried. He turned, but the lion had disappeared. He heard pulsating laughter above him and a voice: aLook!a A flash of lightning knifed through the night and stood fixed, motionless. Under it were cities with walls and towers, houses, roads, squares, people; and all around, plains, mountains, sea. Babylon was to the right, Jerusalem and Alexandria to the left, and across the sea was Rome. Once more he heard the voice: aLook!a Jesus raised his eyes. A yellow-winged angel dropped headfirst from the sky. Lamentations were heard: in the four kingdoms the people lifted their arms to heaven, but their hands fell off, gnawed away by leprosy. They parted their lips to cry Help! and their lips fell, devoured by leprosy. The streets filled with hands and noses and mouths.
And while Jesus cried with upraised arms, aMercy, Lord, have pity on mankind!a a second angel, dapple-winged, with bells around his feet and neck, fell headfirst from heaven. All at once laughter and guffawing broke out over the entire earth: struck down by madness, the lepers were running helter-skelter. Whatever remained of their bodies had burst into peals of laughter.
Trembling, Jesus blocked his ears so that he would not hear. And then a third angel, red-winged, fell like a meteor from the sky. Four fountains of fire rose up, four columns of smoke, and the stars were extinguished for want of air. A light breeze blew, scattering the fumes. Jesus looked. The four kingdoms had become four handfuls of ashes.
The voice sounded once more: aThese, wretch, are the kingdoms of this world which you are setting out to possess; and those are my three beloved angels: Leprosy, Madness and Fire. The day of the Lord has comea"my day, mine!a With this last clap of thunder the lightning disappeared.
The dawn found Jesus with his face plunged in the sand. During the night he must have rolled off his stone and wept and wept, for his eyes were swollen and smarting. He looked around him. Could this endless sand be his soul? The desert was shifting, coming to life. He heard shrill cries, mocking laughter, weeping. Small animals resembling rabbits, squirrels and weasels, all with ruby-red eyes, were hopping toward him. It is Madness, he thought, Madness, come to devour me. He cried out, and the animals disappeared; an archangel with the half moon suspended from his neck and a joyous star between his eyebrows towered up before him and unfurled his green wings.
Jesus shaded his eyes against the dazzling light. aArchangel,a he whispered.
The archangel closed his wings and smiled. aDonat you recognize me?a he said. aDonat you remember me?a aNo, no! Who are you? Go farther away, Archangel. Youare blinding me.a aDo you remember when you were a small child still unable to walk, you clung to the door of your house and to your motheras clothes so that you would not fall, and shouted within yourself, shouted loudly, aG.o.d, make me G.o.d! G.o.d, make me G.o.d! G.o.d, make me G.o.d!a a aDonat remind me of that shameless blasphemy. I remember it!a aI am that inner voice. I shouted then; I shout still, but youare afraid and pretend not to hear. Now, however, you are going to listen to me, like it or not. The hour has come. I chose you before you were borna"you, out of the whole of mankind. I work and gleam within you, prevent you from falling into the minor virtues, the small pleasures, into happiness. Behold how just now when Woman came into the desert where I brought you, I banished her. The kingdoms came, and I banished them. I did, I, not you. I am reserving you for a destiny much more important, much more difficult.
aMore important ... more difficult ...?a aWhat did you long for when you were a child? To become G.o.d. That is what you shall become!a aI? I?a aDonat shrink back; donat moan. That is what you shall become, what you have already become. What words do you think the wild dove threw over you at the Jordan?a aTell me! Tell me!a aaYou are my son, my only son!a That was the message brought you by the wild dove. But it was not a wild dove; it was the archangel Gabriel. I salute you, therefore: Son, only son of G.o.d!a Two wings beat within Jesusa breast. He felt a large, rebellious morning star burning between his eyebrows. A cry rose up within him: I am not a man, not an angel, not your slave, Adonaia"I am your son. I shall sit on your throne to judge the living and the dead. In my right hand I shall hold a spherea"the worlda"and play with it. Make room for me to sit down!
He heard peals of laughter in the air. Jesus gave a start. The angel had vanished. He uttered a piercing cry, aLucifer!a and fell p.r.o.ne onto the sand.
aI shall see you again,a said a mocking voice. aWe shall meet again one daya"soon!a aNever, never, Satan!a Jesus bellowed, with his face buried in the sand.
aSoon!a the voice repeated. aAt this Pa.s.sover, miserable wretch!a Jesus began to wail. His tears fell in warm drops on the sand, washing, rinsing, purifying his soul. Toward evening a cool breeze blew; the sun became gentle and colored the distant mountains pink. And then Jesus heard a merciful command, and an invisible hand touched his shoulder.
aStand up, the day of the Lord is here. Run and carry the message to men: I am coming!a
Chapter Eighteen.
HOW QUICKLY he traversed the desert, reached the Dead Sea, went around it and once more entered plowed land and air thick with the respiration of men! He did not walk unaideda"where could he have found the strength? Two invisible hands were holding him up by the armpits. The thin cloud which had appeared over the desert thickened, blackened, invaded the sky. There was a clap of thunder, followed by the first drops of rain. The land grew dark; roads vanished; and suddenly the cataracts of heaven were released. Jesus cupped his palms. They filled with water, and he drank. He halted, wondering which way to go. Lightning tore through the air. For an instant the face of the earth glittered a pale blue yellow, then suddenly plunged back again into darkness. Which was the way to Jerusalem, which to John the Baptist? And what about his companions, waiting for him in the reeds by the river? aG.o.d,a he whispered, aenlighten me, throw a thunderbolt, show me my road!a As he spoke, a flash incised the heavens directly in front of him. G.o.d had given him a sign, and he proceeded with a.s.surance in the direction shown him.
It was pouring. The male waters of heaven spouted down and united with the rivers and lake, the female waters of earth. Land, sky and rain became one; they were pursuing him, directing him toward mankind. He slopped through the mud, became tangled in roots and branches, traversed pits. In the gleam of a lightning flash he saw a pomegranate tree heavy with fruit. He cut off a pomegranate: his hand was filled with rubies, his throat was refreshed. He took another, then another; he ate, and blessed the hand that had planted the tree. With new strength he set out again and marched and marched. Darkness. Was it day? Was it night? His feet became heavy with mud; he seemed to be lifting the entire earth at each step. Suddenly in the gleam of a lightning flash he saw before him a small village high up on a hill. The lightning ignited the white houses, then blew them out. His heart jumped for joy. Men were sitting in those housesa"brothers. He desired to touch a human hand, to breathe in human exhalation, to eat bread, drink wine, talk. How many years he had longed for solitude, roamed through the fields and mountains, spoken with the birds and wild game, not wanting to see men! But now, what a joy it would be to touch a human hand!
He quickened his pace and started up the cobbled ascent. He found strength, for now he knew where he was going, where the road which G.o.d had shown him would lead. As he mounted, the clouds thinned out and a bit of sky appeared. The sun became visible just as it was setting. He heard the village c.o.c.ks crowing, the dogs barking, the women on the roofs of their houses shouting to each other. Blue smoke rose from the chimneys. He could smell the burning wood.
aBlessed is the seed of man ...a he murmured as he pa.s.sed the first house of the village and heard human conversation within.
Stones, water and houses were shininga"no, not shining, laughing. The parched earth had quenched its thirst. The deluge had frightened both animals and men; but then the clouds began to scatter, revealing deep-blue sky, and the sun which had disappeared returned once more and brought rea.s.surance to the world. Jesus, drenched and happy, went through the narrow, gurgling lanes. A young girl appeared, pulling a large-uddered goat to pasture.
aWhat is the name of your village?a Jesus smilingly asked her.
aBethany.a aAnd at which door may I knock to find a place to sleep? Iam a stranger here.a aWherever you find an open door, enter,a the girl replied with a laugh.
Wherever you find an open door, enter. This is a kindhearted, hospitable village, Jesus reflected, and he went forward to find the open door. The alleys had become small rivers, but the largest stones rose above the water. Jesus proceeded by hopping from stone to stone. The house doors were completely black from the rain, and closed. He turned at the first corner. A small arched door, painted indigo, stood wide open. A young woman, short and chubby, with a fat chin and thick lips, was standing in the doorway. Another young woman could be seen inside the palely lighted house. She was sitting at the loom, weaving and singing softly.
Jesus approached, stopped at the threshold and placed his hand over his heart in the sign of greeting. aI am a foreigner,a he said, aa Galilean. I am hungry and cold, and I have no place to sleep. I am an honest man. Allow me to spend the night in your home. I found the door open and entered. Excuse me.a The young woman turned, her hand still full of chicken feed. She regarded him from head to foot tranquilly, then smiled. aWeare at your service,a she said. aWelcome. Come in.a The weaver extricated herself from the loom and appeared in the yard. She was thin-boned and pale, with her black braids tied in a double bun on her head. Her eyes were large, fuzzy and sad. Around her frail neck she wore a necklace of turquoises as a charm against the evil eye. She looked at the visitor and blushed. aWeare alone,a she said. aOur brother Lazarus isnat here. He went to the Jordan to be baptized.a aAnd what difference does it make if weare alone?a said the other. aHe wonat eat us. Come inside, my good man. Donat listen to her: sheas scared of her own shadow. Weall call the villagers to keep you company, and the elders will come also to ask you who you are, where youare going and what news you bring us. So, if you please, enter our poor house. What happened to you? Are you cold?a aIam cold, hungry and sleepy,a answered Jesus, striding across the threshold.
aAll three will be remedied, have no fears,a she said. aNow I want you to know that Iam called Martha, and this is my sister Mary. And you?a aJesus of Nazareth.a aA good man?a Martha laughed, teasing him.
aYes, good,a he answered, his expression severe. aGood, to the best of my ability, Martha, my sister.a He entered the cottage. Mary lighted the lamp and hooked it in place, illuminating the room and its immaculate whitewashed walls. There were two trunks of embossed cypress wood, several stools, and along the wall a long wooden platform with mattresses and pillows. The loom stood in one corner; in the other were two small earthenware jars for the olives and oil. The jug of cool water was on its shelf to the right of the entrance. Next to it a long linen towel hung on a peg. The house smelled of cypress wood and quince. At the back was a wide, unlighted fireplace with the cooking utensils suspended all around it.
aIall light a fire so that you can dry off. Sit down.a Martha found a stool and placed it for him in front of the hearth, then raced to the courtyard and brought in an armful of vine twigs, laurel branches and two logs of olive wood. She squatted, arranged the kindling into a little hut, and ignited it.
Crouching, his head between his two palms, his elbows on his knees, Jesus watched. What a holy ceremony it is, he reflected, to arrange wood and light a fire on a cold day: the flame comes like a merciful sister to warm you. And to enter an alien house, hungry and tired, and to see two other sisters, strangers, come and comfort you ... His eyes filled with tears.
Martha got up, went to the larder and brought bread, honey and a bra.s.s pot of wine, which she placed at the strangeras feet. aThis is the appetizer,a she said. aNow Iall put the pot on the fire so that you can taste something hot, and renew your strength. I imagine youave come a long way.a aFrom the ends of the earth,a he answered. He bent eagerly toward the bread, olives and honey. What marvels they were, what joys! How generously G.o.d sent them to men! He ate and ate, blessing the Lord.
Mary, all the while, stood next to the lampstand and silently watched first the fire, then the unexpected guest, then her sister, who, swept away by the joy of having a man in her house and serving him, had sprouted wings.
Jesus raised the pot of wine and looked at the two women. aMartha and Mary, my sisters,a he said, ayou must have heard of the flood in the time of Noah. All men were sinful, and everyone drowned except the few virtuous men who boarded the ark and were saved. Mary and Martha, I swear to you that if there is another flood, and if it is up to me to invite you to enter the new ark, I shall do so, my sisters, because this evening a poorly dressed, unknown, barefooted guest appeared at your door; you lighted a fire for him and he was warmed; you gave him bread and he was filled; you spoke a kind word to him and the kingdom of heaven came down and entered his heart. I drink to your health, my sisters. Iam delighted to meet you!a Mary drew near and sat down at his feet. aI canat hear enough of your voice, stranger,a she said, blushing terribly. aSpeak more.a Martha put the ca.s.serole on the fire, set the table and drew cool water from the well in the yard. Then she sent a young neighbor to announce to the three village elders that she would like them (if they would be so kind) to call at her house, because a visitor had come to her and her sister.
aSpeak more,a Mary repeated, seeing Jesus quiet.
aWhat do you wish me to say, Mary?a Jesus asked. He lightly touched her black braids. aSilence is good. It says everything.a aSilence does not satisfy a woman. Women, poor things, need a kind word.a aDonat listen to her. Not even a kind word satisfies a woman,a interrupted Martha, who was feeding the lamp with oil now so that it would last, for the elders were coming and would engage the visitor in profound discussions. aNot even a kind word satisfies poor womankind. A woman wants to hear her husband shake the house with his tread; she wants to suckle a baby in order to soothe her breast. She wants many things, Jesus of Galilee, manya"but what do you men know about such matters!a She tried to laugh but could not. She was thirty years old and unmarried.
They remained silent, listening to the fire devour the olive logs and lick the earthenware ca.s.serole which was bubbling away. The eyes of all three were lost in the flames.
Finally Mary spoke. aIf you could only know how much goes through a womanas mind while she sits and weaves! If you knew you would pity her, Jesus of Nazareth.a aI do know,a said Jesus, smiling. aI too was once a woman, in another life, and I used to weave.a aAnd what did you think about?a aG.o.d. Nothing else, Mary, just G.o.d. And you?a Mary did not answer, but her breast swelled. Martha heard their conversation and sighed, but restrained herself from speaking. Finally she could endure it no longer.
aNever fear,a she said, her voice suddenly harsh. aMary and I, and all the unmarried women of the world, think of G.o.d. We hold him on our knees like a husband.a Jesus bowed his head and did not speak. Martha removed the pot from the fire. The supper was ready. She went to the larder to bring the earthenware dishes so that she could serve the meal.
aI want to tell you something which struck my mind once while I was weaving,a said Mary, whispering so that her sister would not hear her from the larder. aI too was thinking of G.o.d on that day, and I spoke to him. aG.o.d,a I said, aif you ever deign to enter our poor house, you will be its master, and we shall be the guests. And now ...a She choked, and was silent.
aAnd now?a said Jesus, leaning forward to hear. Martha appeared with the plates.
aNothing,a Mary whispered, getting up.
aCome and eat,a said Martha. aThe elders will be here any minute. They mustnat find us still eating.a All three knelt. Jesus took the bread, lifted it high and p.r.o.nounced the blessing so warmly and with such pathos that the two astonished sisters turned and stared at him. But when they saw him they were terrified, for his face shone and the air behind his head was afire and quivering.
Mary put forth her hand. aLord,a she cried, ayou are the master and we the guests. Command us!a Jesus lowered his head so that they would not see how troubled he was. This was the first cry, the first time a soul had recognized him.
They rose from the low table just as the doorway darkened and a gigantic old man appeared on the threshold. His beard flowed like a river; he was large-boned, his arms firm, his breast as hairy as a ramas. He held a crooked staff which was taller than he was and which he used, not to lean upon, but to beat others and keep the village in order.
aWelcome to our poor house, Father Melchizedek,a said both women, curtsying.
He entered, and a second old man appeared on the vacant threshold. This one was thin, with a long, horse-like head and no teeth. Flames darted out of his tiny eyes, and it was impossible to look at him for very long. The snakeas poison is supposed to be behind its eyes; behind this manas eyes was fire, and behind the fire a twisted, perverse mind.
The women curtsied, welcomed him, and he too went inside. Behind him appeared the third old man, blind, stumpy, as fat as a pig. He held his staff before him: its eyes guided him and prevented him from stumbling. He was a good soul. He loved to joke, and when he judged the villagers, he did not have the heart to punish a single one of them. aI am not G.o.d,a he would say. aHe who judges will be judged. Mend your arguments, my children, so that I donat get into trouble in the next world!a Sometimes he paid the rest.i.tution out of his own pocket; sometimes he went to prison himself in order to save the offender. Some called him a fool, some a saint; and old Melchizedek could not bear the sight of hima"but what could he do: he was dealing with a man descended from the priestly race of Aaron, and the most potent householder of the village.
aMartha,a said Melchizedek, whose staff reached the ceiling beams, awhere is the stranger who has entered our village?a Jesus rose from the corner by the chimney where he had remained, silently watching the fire.
aYou?a said the old man, examining him from head to toe.
aYes, me,a Jesus replied. aI come from Nazareth.a aGalilean?a gummed the second old man, the venomous one. aNothing good can come out of Nazareth. The Scriptures declare it.a aDonat scold him, Father Samuel,a interrupted the blind elder. aTrue, the Galileans are prattlers, idiots and provincial boors, but theyare honest. Our guest this evening is an honest man. I can tell from his voice.a He turned toward Jesus. aWelcome, my child.a aAre you a merchant?a asked old Melchizedek. aWhat do you sell?a While the elders talked, the established men of the villagea"the reputable landownersa"came in through the opened door. They had learned of the arrival of a stranger, had donned their finery and come to pa.s.s the time by welcoming him, seeing where he was from and what he had to say. They entered, and knelt on the ground behind the three elders.
aI donat sell anything,a said Jesus. aI used to be a carpenter in my village, but I abandoned my work, left my motheras house and dedicated myself to G.o.d.a aYou did well to escape from the world, my child,a said the blind man, abut take care, for now, poor fellow, youave got yourself mixed up with a bad devil, this G.o.d. How will you escape from him?a He burst into laughter.
Hearing this, old Melchizedek was ready to explode with malicious rage. But he remained silent.
aMonk?a the second elder hissed derisively. aYouare another one of those Levites, are you? A Zealot? False prophet?a aNo, no, Father,a Jesus replied, troubled, ano, no!a aWhat then?a The village ladies were now entering with all their jewelry in order to see the stranger and to be seen by him. Was he old, young, handsome? What did he sell? Or could he be a suitor for the hand of one of these beautiful but aging girls, Martha, or Mary? It was centuries since a man had embraced them: they would go insane, poor things. ... Letas go and see!
They adorned themselves, came, and stood in a row behind the men.
aWhat, then?a the old viper asked once more.
Jesus suddenly felt a chill and held his hands in front of the fire. His clothes, still wet, steamed. For some time he was silent, thoughtful. This is a good moment to speak out, he was thinking, a good moment to reveal the word which the Lord confided to me and to awaken the G.o.d that sleeps within these men and women who destroy themselves in the pursuit of vain cares. They ask me what I sell. I shall answer: the kingdom of heaven, the salvation of the soul, life everlasting. Let them give the very clothes off their backs to buy this Great Pearl. He glanced rapidly around him, saw the faces in the lamplight and in the glow of the fire: rapacious, cunning, aged by petty, man-devouring cares, shriveled from fear. He pitied them and wanted to stand up and speak, but this night he was so very tired. It was many days since he had slept in the house of a human being or had rested his head on a pillow. Sleepy, he leaned against the smoky chimney wall and closed his eyes.
aHeas tired, my lords,a Mary interrupted, and she looked beseechingly at the old men. aDo not torment him.a aRight!a growled Melchizedek. Leaning on his staff, he began to get up and leave. aYouare absolutely right, Mary. Weave been talking to him as though we were his judges. We forgeta"a he turned to the second eldera"ayou forget, Father Samuel, that the angels frequently come down to earth dressed like paupers, with but one humble tunic and no staff, purse or shoesa"just like this man. It is well, therefore, that we take heed and bear ourselves toward the stranger as we should toward an angel. Thatas simply good sense.a aThatas also simply asinine,a the blind elder snapped again, guffawing. aI say we should consider every man an angel, every man, yes, even old Samuel!a Old Venom-Nose flew into a rage. He was ready to open his mouth, but on reflection changed his mind. The blind buzzard was rich; he might have need of him one day. Best play deaf-that too was simply good sense.
The sweet glow of the fire fell on Jesusa hair, tired face and uncovered chest; threw sudden blue beams over his curly, raven-black beard.
aHeas delicious, even if poor,a said the ladies to one another, stealthily. aDid you notice his eyes? Theyare the sweetest Iave ever seen, sweeter even than my husbandas when he holds me in his arms.a aIave never viewed any so wild,a interrupted another. aAll fear and terror. You feel like leaving everything and taking to the hills.a aAnd did you see Martha just eating him up with her eyes, dear? Poor thing, sheall go crazy tonight.a aBut he eyed Mary on the sly,a another lady said. aThe two sisters will have it out tonight, mark my words. Iam their neighbor; Iall hear the yelling.a aLetas go,a commanded old Melchizedek. aIt was a waste of time to take the trouble of coming. The visitor is sleepy. Get up, elders, let us go!a He began to push aside both men and women with his staff so that he could pa.s.s through.
But just as he reached the door hurried footsteps were heard in the yard and a pale man rushed inside and crumpled down in a heap in front of the fire, out of breath. The two terrified sisters fell upon him and hugged him.
aBrother,a they cried, awhat has happened to you? Who is chasing you?a Melchizedek stopped and touched the newcomer with his staff. aLazarus, son of Manacheim,a he said, aif itas bad news you bring, let the women leave and the men remain, so that we may hear it.a aThe king seized John the Baptist and cut off his head!a shouted Lazarus in a single breath.
He stood up, trembling. He was jaundiced, the color of soil, with flabby, gourd-like cheeks; and his faded green eyes glittered in front of the fire like those of a wild cat.
aOur evening hasnat gone to waste after all,a the blind elder said contentedly. aIn the time which elapsed from the morning, when we awoke, until now, when we are about to go to sleep, something at least has finally happened: the world has moved. Let us therefore sit ourselves down on the stools and listen. I like news, even if itas bad.a He leaned toward Lazarus. aSpeak, if you please, my good fellow. Tell us when, how and why this misfortune took place. Put everything in its proper order and donat rusha"it will while away our time. Catch your breath. ... Weare listening.a Jesus had risen with a start. He looked at Lazarus, his lips quivering. This was a new sign sent him by G.o.d. The Forerunner had left the world, was no longer needed. He had prepared the way and departed, his duty done. My hour has come ... my hour has come, Jesus thought, shuddering; but he remained silent, his eyes riveted upon Lazarusas pale-green lips.
aHe murdered him, did he?a growled old Melchizedek, angrily banging his staff on the ground. aWhat a state weave come to, when incestuous lechers kill saints, and debauchees ascetics! Itas the end of the world!a Overcome with fright, the women began to scream. The blind elder pitied them. aYou exaggerate, Melchizedek,a he said. aThe world stands firm on its feet. Ladies, donat be afraid.a aThe throat of the world is cut,a whined Lazarus, tears streaming from his eyes. aThe voice of the desert has been snuffed out. Who now will call to G.o.d for us sinners? The world is orphaned!a aOne must not lift his hand against authority,a hissed the second elder. aNo matter what the powers-that-be do, close your eyes and donat looka"for G.o.d looks. The Baptist should have minded his own business. Serves him right!a aAre we slaves?a thundered Melchizedek. aCan you tell me why G.o.d gave men hands? Iall tell you why: so that they could lift them against tyrants!a aBe quiet, Fathers, so that we may hear how this evil took place,a said the blind elder, irritated. aSpeak, Lazarus!a aI was on my way to get baptized with all the rest,a Lazarus began. aI hoped it might improve my health. As you know, I havenat been very well recently. In fact, Iave been getting worse and worse. I feel dizzy, my eyes puff up, and my kidneysa"a aAll right, all right, we know all that,a scoffed the blind elder. aCome to the point!a aI reached the Jordan and was by the bridge where the crowd a.s.sembles to be baptized. I heard cries and weeping and said to myself, aItas nothing, probably just the people tearfully confessing their sins.a I went forward a bit, and what do I see but men and women fallen on their faces in the river mud, lamenting. I asked, aWhatas happened, brothers? What are you crying about?a a aThe Prophetas been murdered!a a aBy whom?a a aThe criminal, the transgressora"Herod!a a aHow, when?a a aHe was drunk and his shameless step-daughter Salome was dancing in front of him stark naked. Her beauty drove the old lecher out of his senses. He sat her on his knee and asked what she wanted him to give her. Half his kingdom? She said no. What did she want, then? She said John the Baptistas head. You shall have it, he told her, and he had it brought her on a silver platter.a a Exhausted by his speech, Lazarus collapsed once more to the ground. No one spoke. The lamp sputtered, flickered, was about to go out. Martha rose and refilled it with oil. It grew bright again.
aItas the end of the world,a old Melchizedek repeated after a long pause. All this time he had been silently stroking his beard and weighing the worldas iniquity and shamelessness. News frequently came from Jerusalem that the idolaters were soiling the holy Temple. Every morning the priests slaughtered a bull and two lambs as a sacrifice not to the G.o.d of Israel but to the G.o.dless, execrable Roman emperor. The wealthy opened their doors in the morning, saw on their doorsteps men who had died of hunger during the night, lifted up their silken robes and stepped over the corpses to go and parade along the arcades around the Temple. ... Melchizedek weighed everything in his mind, and decided: it was truly the end of the world.
He turned to Jesus. aAnd you, what do you have to say about all this?a Jesus replied in a voice which had suddenly become so exceedingly deep that they all turned and stared at him. aI come from the desert where I saw them. Yes, three angels have already departed from the heavens to fall upon this earth. I saw them with my own eyes, visible at the edge of the sky. They are coming. The first is Leprosy, the second Madness, and the third, the most merciful, Fire. And I heard a voice: aSon of the Carpenter, construct an ark, place therein as many virtuous men as you find, but quickly!a The day of the Lord is herea"my day. I am coming!a The three elders shrieked. The rest of the men got up from the ground where they had been sitting with crossed legs. Their teeth were chattering. The women, stricken dumb, turned in one body toward the door. Mary and Martha went and stood next to Jesus, as though seeking his protection. Had he not sworn to take them into the ark? The time had come.
Old Melchizedek wiped away the sweat which was running from his white temples. aThe stranger speaks the truth,a he shouted, athe truth! Listen, brothers, to this miracle: When I got up this morning, I unrolled the Holy Scriptures as I always do and I chanced upon the words of the prophet Joel: aBlow the trumpet of Zion; may the holy mountain resound. Let all who inhabit the earth tremble, for the day of the Lord is coming, a day of clouds and darkness. Before Hima"fire; behind Hima"flames. They shall rush like horses; they shall clatter like chariots of war over the stones. And at the tops of the mountains the flames will crackle, as when they pour over the reeds and devour them. ... Such is the day of the Lord!a I read this terrible message two or three times and began, barefooted, to chant it in my yard. Then I fell on my face and cried, aLord, if you plan to come soon, send me a sign. I must prepare myself. I must pity the poor, open my larders and pay for my sins. Send a thunderbolt, a voice or a man to warn me, so that Iall be in time!a a He turned to Jesus. aYou are the sign. G.o.d sent you. Do I have time? When will the heavens open, my child?a aEach second which pa.s.ses, Father,a Jesus replied, ais a heaven ready to open. At every instant, Leprosy, Madness and Fire advance one more step. Their wings are already touching my hair.a Lazarus had opened wide his faded green eyes and was staring at Jesus. He took an unsteady step forward.
aAre you by any chance Jesus of Nazareth?a he asked. aThey say that as the executioner seized the cleaver to cut off the Baptistas head, the prophet stretched out his hand toward the desert and cried, aJesus of Nazareth, leave the desert, return to mankind. Come. Do not forsake the world.a If you are Jesus of Nazareth, blessed is the ground on which you walk. My house is sanctified; I am baptized and cured. I fall and worship your feet!a Having said this, he prostrated himself in order to kiss Jesusa feet, which were covered with bruises.
But sly old Samuel quickly pulled himself together. His mind had tottered for a moment, but he rapidly re-steadied himself on his feet. We find in the prophets whatever our hearts desire, he reflected. On one page the Lord is in a frenzy against his people and lifts his fist to crush them; on the next, he is all milk and honey. We find the prophecy which matches our morning mooda"so, letas not lose any sleep over it. ... He shook his horse-like head and smirked in his beard, but said nothing. Let the people be afraid. Itas good for them. Without fear ... The poor are more numerous and more muscular. Weare lost!
He kept silent therefore and gazed contemptuously at Lazarus, who was kissing the visitoras feet and speaking to him.
aIf the Galileans I met at the Jordan are your disciples, Rabbi, they gave me a message in case I should meet you: Theyare going to leave, and will wait for you in Jerusalem, at the David gate, in the tavern of Simon the Cyrenian. They got frightened evidently at the slaying of the Prophet and have fled in order to hide. The persecution has begun.a The women, meanwhile, pulled at their husbands, trying to get them to depart. They understood everything. This foreigner, they told themselves, has the viperas eye. He looks at you and you go out of your mind. He speaks and the world comes tumbling down. Letas get away!
The blind elder took pity on them. aCourage, my children,a he cried. aI hear monstrous things, but donat be afraid. Everything will fall peacefully in place once morea"you shall see. The world is steady; it has a good foundation and will stand as long as G.o.d stands. Donat listen to those who can see; listen to me, a blind man, who therefore can see better than all of you. The race of Israel is immortal. It signed an agreement with G.o.d: G.o.d affixed his seal and presented us with the entire earth. So, donat be afraid. Itas almost midnighta"letas go to bed!a He put forth his staff and made a line for the door.
The three elders left first. Next went the rest of the men; lastly, the womena"emptying the house.
The two sisters laid the visitoras bedding on the wooden platform. Mary went to her trunk and took out the silk and linen sheets meant for her wedding night. Martha brought the satin feather quilt which she had kept untouched so many years, awaiting the long-desired night when it would cover both her and her husband. She also brought fragrant herbsa"basil and minta"and filled his pillow to overflowing.
aHeall sleep tonight like a bridegroom,a said Martha with a sigh. Mary sighed also, but did not speak. Close your ears, G.o.d, she murmured to herself. The world is good despite my sighs. Yes, good; but Iam so afraid of loneliness, and I like this visitor so very much ...
The sisters went into the small inner room and lay down on their hard mats. The two men were on the wooden platform, one at each end, their feet touching. Lazarus was happy. What an air of sanct.i.ty and beat.i.tude hung over the entire house! He breathed tranquilly, deeply, pushed the soles of his feet lightly against the holy soles and felt a mysterious force, a divine cert.i.tude, rising and branching out through his whole body. His kidneys no longer pained him, his heart stopped palpitating; his blood flowed peacefully, contentedly from head to toe and irrigated the afflicted, jaundiced body.
This is the real baptism, he was thinking. This night I, the house, my sistersa"all were baptized. The river Jordan came to our house.
But how could the two sisters close their eyes! It had been years since a strange man slept in their house. Visitors always lodged with one of the village notables, never descended to their humble, out-of-the-way cottage; and besides, their queer, sickly brother did not like company. But tonight, what an unexpected joy! With quivering nostrils they smelled the air. How it had changed; how perfumed it wasa"not with basil and mint but with the odor of a man!
aHe says G.o.d sent him to build the ark, and heas promised to put us in. Do you hear me, Mary, or are you asleep?a aIam not asleep,a Mary replied. She was holding her b.r.e.a.s.t.s in her palms, for they pained her.
aDear G.o.d,a Martha continued, alet the end of the world come soon, so that we can enter the ark with him. Iall serve him, that wonat bother me; and you, Mary, will be his companion. The ark will sail on and on forever, and I shall serve him perpetually, and you will sit perpetually at his feet and be his companion. That is how I imagine Paradise to be. You too, Mary?a aYes,a Mary replied, closing her eyes.
They talked and sighed. Jesus, meanwhile, was sitting up, though still in a deep sleep. He felt that he was not asleep at all but, rather, standing body and soul in the Jordan, refreshed. The desert sand was being removed from his body and the virtues and vices of mankind from his soula"leaving it again virgin. Suddenly it seemed to him in his sleep that he had come out of the Jordan, taken a green, untrodden path and entered a dense orchard full of blossoms and fruit. And it seemed he was no longer himself, Jesus the son of Mary of Nazareth, but rather Adam, the first man to be created. He had issued from G.o.das hands at precisely that momenta"his flesh was still fresh claya"and had lain down on the flowering gra.s.s to dry off in the sun so that his bones might congeal, color come to his face, and the seventy-two joints of his body tighten and enable him to stand up and walk. While he lay and ripened under the sun, birds fluttered over his head, flew from tree to tree, promenaded on the springtime gra.s.s. They conversed among themselves, twittered, looked at this new creature who lay on the gra.s.s, examined him with curiosity. Each had his say and then continued on; and he, versed in their language, rejoiced to hear them.
The peac.o.c.k, proudly fanning out its feathers, strolled up and down, threw oblique, seductive glances at this Adam stretched on the ground, and explained to him: aI used to be a hen, but I loved an angel and became a peac.o.c.k. Is there any bird more beautiful than I am? None!a The turtledove flew from tree to tree, lifted its throat to heaven and cried, aLove! Love! Love!a And the thrush: aAmong all the birds, only I sing and keep warm in the thickest of frosts.a The swallow: aIf not for me, the trees would never blossom.a The c.o.c.k: aIf not for me, morning would never come.a The lark: aAt dawn when I fly up into the sky to sing, I say goodbye to my children because I never know if I shall return from my song still alive.a The nightingale: aDonat look at me as I am now, in my poor clothes. I too had large gleaming wings, but I turned them into song.a And a long-nosed blackbird came and clung to the shoulder of the first-created man, bent over to his ear and spoke to him softly, as though entrusting a great secret to him: aThe doors of heaven and h.e.l.l are adjacent, and identical: both green, both beautiful. Take care, Adam! Take care! Take care!a Exactly then, at dawn, with the blackbirdas song in his mind, Jesus awoke.
Chapter Nineteen.
GREAT THINGS happen when G.o.d mixes with man. Without man, G.o.d would have no mind on this Earth to reflect upon his creatures intelligibly and to examine, fearfully yet impudently, his wise omnipotence. He would have on this Earth no heart to pity the concerns of others and to struggle to beget virtues and cares which G.o.d either did not want, or forgot, or was afraid to fashion. He breathed upon man, however, giving him the power and audacity to continue creation.
But man, without G.o.d, born as he is unarmed, would have been obliterated by hunger, fear and cold; and if he survived these, he would have crawled like a slug midway between the lions and lice; and if with incessant struggle he managed to stand on his hind legs, he would never have been able to escape the tight, warm, tender embrace of his mother the monkey. ... Reflecting on this, Jesus felt more deeply than he had ever felt before that G.o.d and man could become one.
He had set out in the early morning along the road to Jerusalem. G.o.d was to his left and to his right. He could touch him with his elbows. They were traveling together, both with the identical concern. The world had gone astray. Instead of ascending to heaven it was descending to h.e.l.l. The two of them together, G.o.d and the Son of G.o.d, would have to toil to bring it once more onto the correct road. That was why Jesus hurried so. He ate up the road with long strides, anxious to meet his companions so that the struggle could begin. The sun, rising from the Dead Sea, the birds struck by the new light and singing, the trembling leaves of the trees, the white road which rolled to the walls of Jerusalem and drew him with ita"all were shouting at him, aHurry! Hurry! We are perishing!a aI know, I know,a Jesus answered. aI know, and I am coming!a The same morning, just after dawn, the companions were sliding along, next to the walls of Jerusalemas still-deserted lanes; not all together, but scattered in twosa"Peter with Andrew, Jacob with John, and Judas by himself in the lead. Afraid, they ran, glancing out of the corners of their eyes in every direction to see if they were being followed. The fortress gate of David rose up before them. They took the first alley on the left and stole into the tavern of Simon the Cyrenian.
The fat, stoop-shouldered innkeeper was still half asleep, having just risen from his bed of straw. His eyes and nose were red and swollen, for he had sipped wine with his drunken patrons until all hours of the night, had sung, brawled, and gone to bed terribly late. Now, sluggish and in a bad humor, he was cleaning the counter, sponging away the remains of the celebration. Though on his feet, he was still not awake: it seemed to him that he had begun in a dream to clean the counter, sponge in hand. But as he labored between slumber and wakefulness, he heard panting men enter his tavern. He turned. His eyes still smarted, his mouth was bitter, his beard full of the sh.e.l.ls of roasted pumpkin seeds.
ad.a.m.n it, whoas there?a he growled hoa.r.s.ely. aLeave me alone, will you! Youave come in bright and early to eat and drink, eh? Well, Iam not in the mood. Scram!a But his shouting gradually woke him up, and little by little he began to recognize his old friend Peter and the other Galileans. He came forward, examined them closely, and burst out laughing. aBah, what snouts do I see here! Stick your tongues back in your mouths, boys. Grab your belly b.u.t.tons before they burst from fear. Arenat you a proud lot, my brave Galileans!a aFor G.o.das sake, Simon, donat stir up the whole world with your shouting,a Peter answered him, putting his hand over Simonas mouth. aClose the door. The king killed John the Baptist. Havenat you realized that yet? He cut off his head and put it on a platter.
aHe did well by him. The Baptist chewed off his ears with this business about his sister-in-law. Who cares! Heas the king, let him do what he likes. And afterwarda"just between friendsa"he chewed off my ears too with his aRepent! Repent!a Bah, I just want to be left alone!a aBut they say heas going to kill all the baptizeda"put them to the sword. And weare baptized. Donat you understand?a aWho told you to get baptized, blockheads! Serves you right!a aBut you were baptized too, wine jug!a Peter scolded him. aYou told us yourself. So, why scream at us?a aThat wasnat the same thing, you make-believe fishmonger. Iam not baptized. You call that baptism? I dove in the water, went for a swim. Everything the fake prophet chanted went in one ear and out the other, as it does with anyone who has any sense. But you, you morons ... These quacks tell you they can milk a billy goat into a sieve, and youare the very first to believe them. They command you to dive into the water anda"pluff! in you go and catch your death of pneumonia. They say not to kill your fleas on the Sabbatha"itas a very great sin. So you donat kill them, and they kill you. Donat pay the head tax! You donat pay, and snap! off goes your head. Serves you right! Sit down now and weall have a drink. You need steadying down and I waking up!a Two fat barrels loomed black in the recesses of the tavern. On one was painted a c.o.c.k in red oils; on the other, in gray-black, a pig. He filled a pitcher of wine from the barrel with the c.o.c.k, found six gla.s.ses and plunged them into a tub of filthy water in order to clean them. The smell of the wine hit him, and he awoke.
A blind man appeared at the tavern door. Putting his staff between his legs, he began to tune an ancient lute while coughing dryly and spitting to clear his throat. This was Eliakim, who had been a camel-driver in his youth. One day at noon, however, while he was traversing the desert, he saw a naked woman washing herself in a pit of water under a date tree. Instead of turning his face away, the saucy fellow pinned his eyes on the beautiful Bedouin. It was just his luck that her husband was squatting behind a rock and had lighted a fire for cooking. Seeing the camel-driver approach his wife and devour her nudity with his gaze, he rushed out with two live coals and extinguished them in the offenderas eyes. From that day on, the unfortunate Eliakim threw himself into psalm and song. He went the rounds of Jerusalemas taverns and homes with his lute, sometimes hymning the kindness of G.o.d, sometimes singing the nudity of women. He would receive a piece of dry bread, a handful of dates, a couple of olives, and then continue on his way.
He tuned his lute, cleared his throat, raised his voice, and with melismatic elaboration began to sing his favorite psalm: Have mercy on me, O G.o.d, according to your great mercy; And according to the mult.i.tude of your compa.s.sions, blot out my iniquity.
At that moment the innkeeper appeared with the pitcher of wine and the winegla.s.ses. He heard the psalmody and went wild. aEnough! Enough!a he exploded. aYouare another one who chews off my ears. Always the same tune: aHave mercy on me ... have mercy on me ...a Go to h.e.l.l! Bah, was I the one who sinned? Was I the one who lifted his eyes to see someone elseas wife at her bath? G.o.d gave us eyes so that we should keep them closeda"donat you understand that yet? Well, serves you right. Go on, get out of here. Go bother someone else!a The blind man once more took up his staff, squeezed the lute under his arm, and departed without breathing a word.
a aHave mercy on me, O G.o.d ... have mercy on me, O G.o.d ...a a trilled the irritated innkeeper. aDavid made eyes at other peopleas wives; this eyeless idiot did the samea"and weare the ones who have to suffer for it. ... O G.o.d, I just want to be left alone!a He finally filled the gla.s.ses. They drank. He refilled his own and downed it.
aIam off now to put a lambas head into the oven for you. Grade A! A mother would steal it from the mouth of her babe!a He flew into the yard, where there was a small oven which he had built all by himself, brought twigs and vine branches, lighted the oven, thrust in the pan with the lambas head, then returned to his company. He was anxious for wine and talk.