The dead float above me, their expressionless faces inviting me to join them. The water seems to swim with nightmarish creatures. One of my black boots floats by. My sock, covered in red, is still inside.
My spinal cord is possessed by a pain demon. He has brought sharp tools. I throw up in the water and blood and teeth come out and form a-ghastly cloud over my head. I start to lose consciousness again, and I know if I do, I will never wake up. Yet my eyes refuse to remain open. They are broken as well.
Closing them, I sink into a deeper level of darkness.Krishna. Let me have one more chance. That is all I ask.
To stop her. To save the child.
My heart keeps beating. The agony keeps throbbing.
Time goes by but pain counts it at a different speed. This time is what is called hard time by all those who have suffered. And hard times bring hard truths. My brains may be leaking from my ears, but I finally understand that Kalika cannot be defeated by guns and bullets. Twenty people, maybe more, had to die to make me understand that.
But I will never understand how she can be so cruel.
"But anyone who sees through the veil of maya cannot fathom the divine will. The veil is stained and the absolute is without flaw. One cannot reveal the other. In the same way, I am your own daughter but you cannot fathom me."
No matter how many die, I will not understand.
From far away, I feel feverish activity. It comes, I realize, from deep inside me, in my muscles, beneath my veins, and all around my joints. My supernatural body is trying to knit itself back together.
Beneath my shirt, I feel my sternum grow back together into one piece. Next there are pops in my legs and ankles. The bones are resetting themselves at a frantic pace. My jaw flexes involuntarily and I feel new teeth pressing up from beneath my mangled gums. Finally I am able to open my eyes, and I give myself a gentle push toward the surface. The beat of my heart has turned to a shriek. If I do not draw in a breath soon, especially with all the repair work going on, my chest will explode.
The night air tastes good. Never better.
On the surface, I am forced to float on my back for a minute before I am strong enough to make my way to the side. There is a crowd gathered, and some of the people in it are cops. I hear screams as I begin to pull myself out of the pool, but a brave cop rushes to my side with a clean blanket. He is fat with a bushy mustache. He carefully wraps the blanket around me.
"You"re going to be OK," he says. "Just lie here on the deck. Don"t try to move. You may have broken bones."
I wipe at the blood on my face. I know I don"t have much time.
"You have friends in the other building."
"No, I"m fine," I say. "Don"t worry about me."
I try to stand but he tries to stop me.
"But you were thrown off that balcony," he protests. "It"s a miracle you"re still alive."
I finish wiping my face and hair with his blanket and hand it back to him all b.l.o.o.d.y. "You"re a kind man," I say. "But I have to get out of here."
I move too fast for him to stop me-yet I am far from healed. Even as I dash across Olympic Boulevard, I feel the tissue inside my body struggling to recover. If I meet Kalika in the next minute I will be at a serious disadvantage. Not that it will make much difference. But it is fear that hurries me along, or maybe it is foolish hope. Hope that she might have let some of them survive.
In the office building, the elevator takes me to the thirty-sixth floor. The stairs are too much for me in my condition. When I stagger out of the elevator, the first thing I see is blood. For a moment all hope in me dies. The door to Suite 3670 has been pulverized. Yet there is a sound, soft words, faint moans. I hurry forward and peer inside.
Seymour and Dr. Seter huddle in one corner. My old friend appears to be taking care of the doctor, who"s having trouble catching his breath. Twenty feet away from them, in the center of the room, the two sharpshooters lie in an ugly heap. It looks as if she kicked each of them so hard in the chest that she ruptured their hearts-an old Sita move. Yet Seymour and Dr. Seter appear unharmed. I almost weep I am so relieved.
It is only then I notice that James is missing.
"Where is he?" I demand.
They jump and look over. I am still covered with blood.
Dr. Seter gasps. "We thought you were dead."I stride toward them and look down. "Where is James? Did she take him?"
Seymour stands and shakes his head. "He went after you, right after you left. We haven"t seen him since." He hugs me; there are tears on his face. "Thank G.o.d you"re alive. We saw her throw you off the- balcony. I thought it was all over."
I comfort him, but also catch his eye. "That was someone else you saw. Not me." I turn back to the doctor. "You have a heart condition. Will you be all right? Should I call for an ambulance?"
"I"ll be fine." He reaches up. "Just help me up."
I do so. "What happened?" I ask.
Seymour gestures weakly. "The door exploded and she walked in. The guys tried to shoot her, but she didn"t give them a chance. Then she pinned Dr. Seter to the wall and demanded he tell her where the scripture was."
Dr. Seter looks crushed. "And I told her everything. I tried to resist but I couldn"t." He stops and he is close to crying. "Do you think she got James?"
"No." The voice comes from the door. James steps into the room. He surveys the dead sharpshooters and a shudder goes through his body. "I am unharmed," he says.
I step to his side. "Did you see her leave?"
"Yes. She stole a cop car and drove away in it."
"Did you see anything else?"
I am asking if he saw me hit the pool and survive.
He stares at me. "No. I mean, what do you mean? It"s a holocaust over there."
"Nothing. I am sorry about tonight," I say. "I know the words sound stupid but I must say them.
At least now you can see why she must be stopped."
Placing my hand over his heart, as I had the previous night, I am surprised at how evenly it is beating. He got rattled during Kalika"s attack but has quickly regained his cool. I add, "You have to show me the remainder of your scripture. If it is still there."
11.
Kalika was thorough. The Suzama Society has only two members now. The news shocks me. Surely, I say to James as he drives us toward Palm Springs, there have to be some personnel at the center who weren"t involved in the attack.
"No," he replies. He adds with a bitter laugh, "We"re all true believers. We believed your story, and went after the Dark Mother with everything we had." The morning sun is bright in his face but James appears close to despair as he thinks about the previous night. "We don"t even have a secretary at the center now."
I reach over and rub his shoulders. "It wasn"t your fault. If anyone is to blame, it is I. I knew what she could do."
"But you did warn us. You warned me. If I had listened to your suggestions, maybe fewer would have been killed."
"No. It wouldn"t have made any difference. She was determined to kill them all."
He frowns. "Why did she spare my father and your friend?"
"That puzzles me," I say honestly. "The only thing I can think is that she must believe that either your father or Seymour, working with us, will eventually find the child."
He is concerned. "Do you think she"s following us now?"
I have been checking to see if we are being shadowed.
"Not at this very moment, no," I say.
"Do you think my father and your friend will be safe at your house?"
He is not asking about a threat from Kalika. We are all fugitives from the law now, from the government. I have no doubt my description has been relayed to those higher-ups who knew I was at the military base in Nevada. My face has shown up at too many public slaughters lately. There is an excellent chance, I think, that the police or the FBI will be waiting for us at the Suzama Center in Palm Springs.
When the bodies are all identified, they will make the natural link. That"s why I have insisted we go to the center immediately. I have yet to decide if I will kill to see the scripture.
"For the time being," I say. "Your father can rest there, and Seymour will take good care of him." I pause. "You worry about him, don"t you?"
He nods. "His heart is lousy."
"Are you adopted?"
My question surprises him. "Yes. I was adopted late. I was sixteen when my parents were killed in a car accident. At the time Dr. Seter and my father were colleagues at Stanford. He started out watching me so I started calling him dad, at first only as a joke. But now I feel closer to him than I did to my real father. A short time after I moved in with him he found the scripture and then we shared a mission together as well as a house."
"Where did he find it?"
He hesitates. "Israel. In Jerusalem."
"That"s not Western Europe."
"It"s better if he"s not specific. Where did you find yours? Tell me the truth this time."
"In Jerusalem."
He nods. "And Kalika destroyed it yesterday?"
"She took it. I don"t know if she destroyed it."
"So she lets you live as well."
"I suppose," I say, feeling sad. My own daughter tried to kill me. And there had been a time not so long ago when I was willing to risk losing the world to save her. Now I see I have lost my bet, even though I am still angling for another chance to win back what has been lost. I wonder if Krishna heard my prayer while I lay on the bottom of the pool, if he let me live for a reason. I wonder if Paula"s child is Krishna.
From the outside the center appears to be undisturbed, but once we are in the bas.e.m.e.nt it is clear that someone has been in the vault. Sheets of the scripture lie spread on the table in the center of the room. James grabs them frantically and studies them. The color drains from his face.
"She was here," he says. "Some papyrus sheets are missing. Others are torn in pieces."
His conclusion seems logical, yet I can find no trace of her smell in the bas.e.m.e.nt, and that puzzles me.
"Are you sure there are no other members of the Suzama Society alive?" I ask.
"There are just me and my dad," he says.
I stop him. "Go upstairs and keep watch. Let me try to read what is here."
"But less than half of it is here."
I realize his whole adult life has been built around the doc.u.ment. Giving him a comforting pat on the back, I shoo him away. Finally I am alone with a piece of the puzzle I have never held before. But I have to wonder about what is missing.
The first piece I read deals specifically with the child.
Of all the previous avatars, he who is born at the end of that time"s millennium will manifest the greatest divinity to the world. He will have the playfulness of Sri Krishna, the wisdom of Adi Shankara, and the compa.s.sion of Jesus of Nazareth. He will be these divine beings, but something more, something that humanity has never seen before.
He will be born in a city a.s.sociated with lost angels, but it will be dark angels who force him and his mother to flee to the mirror in the sky, where shoes move without feet and the emerald circle is seen in the morning light. There the dark forces will once again converge on him, but a powerful angel will rescue him only to lose him again. Then the place of sanct.i.ty will be defiled by red stars, and only the innocent will see the blue light of heaven. Faith is stronger than stone. The rest is a mystery.
The war between the Setians and the Old Ones never ends. I am Suzama of the Old Order. Even as these words are recorded, the mother of an angel burns under Setian stars. Her pain is my pain. I wait for the enemy, for the splinter in the earth element, and for my own death. This splinter will become a crack, and civilization will end as we know it. But all ends are temporary and all life is born from death. I am Suzama and I fear neither this end nor the loss of my own life. For this ancient war is for the purpose of dark angels and blue angels alike. Both are divine in my illumined vision, and all color is erased in the infinite abyss.
There is another piece of papyrus, torn in two. It is much thinner than the others. It speaks of Kalika.
She is the Dark Mother, all consuming and not to be trusted. She brings the light of the red stars, and a wave of red death flows from her fingertips. She is the scourge of the child, not its protector as she claims to be. Her name is Kali Ma, and it is her name that matches the dark age. All who know her will fear her.
"Suzama," I whisper, shaking. "You don"t know how you curse your old friend."
But does it matter what she says about my daughter? Wasn"t tonight proof enough of my daughter"s demonic nature? She laughed as she killed, and no doubt drank the blood of many of those who slumped to their deaths. Suzama can tell me nothing new about my own child.
But what about the holy child? Where is this mirror in the sky, where shoes move without feet and the emerald circle is seen in the morning light? It is difficult to imagine Suzama being any more ambiguous. I almost curse her. The last thing I need now is more riddles, and all the stuff about dark angels and mistaken angels confuses me. Even worse are Suzama"s references to the Setians. They were destroyed when Suzama was destroyed, in the great earthquake of ancient Egypt. Why does she go on about the war? That war is over as far as I am concerned.
"I will wait here for you. I will be here when you return."
But there was no one there when I returned.
Suzama"s last prediction to me was wrong.
I call to James and he returns to the bas.e.m.e.nt quickly.
"There are people outside on the street pointing at the center," he says. "I think the police will be here any minute."