(Mike Murphy"s letter to Mrs. McCaffry.)
"MY DEAR AUNT MAGGIE:
"I"m thinking that about the time this luv letter raiches ye, an insthrumint will do the same, which the name is peeanoler, or something like that. I beg ye to accipt the thrifle as a prisent from Captain Landon, Second Mate Haynes and First Mate mesilf. I know Misther Noxon would crack his heels togither fur the chance of j"ining wid us, but he forgot to lave his card and I suspict he"s sailed for Europe not to be back fur fifteen or twinty years, as was the case wid me great uncle whin he sailed for Botny Bay.
"The peagnoluh--I"m thrying all ways of spelling the name of the blamed thing so as to get the same right wunst any way--is played wid the feet. You slide the sheet wid the holes punched into "em into the wrack over the keeze and then wurrk the feet up and down like yer husband Tana used to do at home in the treadmill.
"Don"t try to sing along wid the music for somebody might hear ye.
Me worry is that yer teeny Sinderilla feet won"t be able to wurruk the peddles, and if ye put on the shoes ye wore whin hanging out the clothes, there wont be room in the house for the peanholler, so ye might try the same widout yer shoes and stockings.
"Wid regards to Tam and much love to yersilf I am ever
"Yer devoted, "Mike Murphy."
(Mrs. McCaffry"s reply to the foregoing.)
"My darlint broth of a boy:
"It tuk me and Tam 2 nights and 3 days to understand the maaning of the action of Jim Doogan the carter in drawing up his taam to our risidence and tumbling out a big shiny box wid the remark that there wasn"t a cint to pay. Tam hadn"t got home and Jim carried the purty thing into the parler and leaned it aginst the flure. He had obsarved something of the kind in his travels and he showed me how to wurruk it wid me faat. Whin he slipped in one of the shaats of paper, wid hundreds of little kriss-kross holes through it, sot down on the stule and wobbled his butes, and "Killarney" filled the room, I let out a hoop, kicked off me satan slippers, danced a jig and shouted, "For the love of Mike!" which the same is thrue, that being yer name.
"My number 10 shoes fit the peddlers as yer snub nose fits yer freckled face. Tam and me spind the time whin we aint slaaping or eating or working in playing the thing and thinking of yersilf and the byes you spake of.
"Me darling Mike, may the birds wake ye aich morning wid their swaat songs of praise and soothe ye to slaap in the avening; may the sun shine fur ye ivery day through; may yer draams be of angels and no man or woman spake anything but wurruds of love to ye; and whin old age bows yer head and the time comes to lave us all, may ye be welcomed to heaven wid the blessed graating: "Well done, good and faithful servant!"
"Do you and the other byes come soon and see what a happy home ye have made for Tam and me.
"Lovingly, "Aunt Maggie."
THE END