"So we have, Edna. And what a blessing our marriage has been to me!"
"We have been very happy." Then, she said, after a pause, as though she had been making up her mind to put the question, "You are really content, Morgan?"
"Content?" he echoed, "with you, Edna?"
"Not with me as me, but with us both together; with our progress, and with what we stand for as human beings?"
"I think so. That is, relatively speaking, and provided I understand correctly what you mean."
She had not resumed her work, and her eager, resolute expression indicated that she was preparing to push the conversation to a more crucial point.
"I suppose what I mean is, would you, if we were going to start over again, do just as you have--devote yourself to science?"
"Oh!" Morgan flushed. "I don"t see the use of considering that conundrum. I have devoted myself to science and there is no help for it, even if I were dissatisfied."
"No present help."
"No help at any time, Edna. But why resurrect this ghost? We burned our bridges at the altar."
"We did. And don"t misunderstand me, dear. I"m not flinching, I"m not even regretting, as I said to you before. Perhaps it may seem to you brutal--which is worse than Casaubonish--to ask you such a question.
Still, we"re husband and wife, and on an anniversary like this why isn"t it sensible to look matters squarely in the face, and consider whether we"ve been wise or not? You ask the use. Are we not both seeking the truth?"
"Just as a tradesman takes an account of stock to ascertain whether he is bankrupt. I suppose you are thinking of the children and--and you admitted that you are a little tired yourself."
"I wasn"t thinking of any one. I was simply considering the question as an abstract proposition--by the light, of course, of our experience."
"It is hard for you, Edna; yes, it is hard. I often think of it."
"But I shouldn"t mind its being hard if I were sure we were wise--justified."
Morgan leaned toward her and said with grave intensity, "How, dear, are the great truths of science to be ascertained unless men--men and their wives--are willing to delve lovingly, to sacrifice comforts, and even endure hardships in pursuit of them?"
Edna drew a deep breath. "But you must answer me a question. How are children to be educated, and their minds, bodies, and manners guarded and formed in the ideal way on a small income such as ours?"
"I thought it was the children."
"It isn"t merely the children. It"s myself and you--you, Morgan. It breaks my heart to see you pale, thin, and tired most of the time. You like good food and we can"t afford to keep a decent cook. You have to consider every cent you spend, and the consequence is you have no amus.e.m.e.nt, and if you take a vacation, it is at some cheap place where you are thoroughly uncomfortable. And, of course, it is the children, too. If you, with your talents had gone into business or followed medicine or the law, like your friend Mr. Randall, we should have an income by this time which--well, for one thing, we should be able to keep the children at the seaside until October, and for another have Ernest"s teeth straightened."
"Perhaps I can manage both of those, as it is. But, Edna, what"s the advantage of considering what might have been? Besides, you haven"t answered my question."
"I know it," she said slowly. "You mustn"t misunderstand me, Morgan.
I"m very proud of you, and I appreciate fully your talent, your self-sacrifice, and your modesty. I thought you entirely right the other day in repulsing that odious reporter who wished to make a public character of you before you were ready. I"m content to wait--to wait forever, and I shall be happy in waiting. But, on the other hand, I"ve never been afraid to face the truth. It"s my way. I"ve done so all my life; and my growth mentally and morally has come through my willingness to acknowledge my mistakes. Every one says it is fine for other people to starve for the sake of discovery, but how few are willing to do it themselves! If we were in a book, the world would admire us, but sometimes I can"t help wondering if we would not be happier and more satisfactory human products if you had done something which brought you rewards more commensurate with your abilities. I"m merely thinking aloud, Morgan. I"m intensely interested, as you know, in the problems of life, and this is one of them."
"But you know foreigners claim that we as a nation are not really interested in culture and knowledge, but only in their money value.
What becomes of the best scholarship if we are ready to admit it?"
"Ah! but Professor Drayson told me only the other day that abroad, in Germany, for instance, they give their learned professors and savants suitable salaries and make much of them socially, because it is recognized that otherwise they wouldn"t be willing to consecrate themselves to their work."
"Then the essential thing for me to do is to invent some apparatus which I can sell to a syndicate for half a million dollars."
"That would be very nice, Morgan," she answered, smiling brightly.
"But you know perfectly well that if we go on just as we are to the end, I shall be thoroughly proud of you, and thoroughly happy--relatively speaking." So saying she put her arm around her husband"s neck and kissed him affectionately.
Although this conversation was more definite than any which had taken place between them, Morgan was not seriously distressed. He knew that it was his wife"s method to think aloud, and he knew that she would be just as loyal to him and no less cheerful because of it. She was considering a problem in living, and one which indisputably had two sides. He had always been aware of it, and the pa.s.sage of time without special achievement on his part had brought it more pointedly before him now that there were two children and the prospect of a third.
He was absorbed in his vocation; and the lack of certain comforts--necessities, perhaps--though inconvenient, would not have weighed appreciably in the scale were he the only one affected. But though he was pursuing his course along the path of investigation eagerly and doing good work without a shadow of disappointment, he was aware not merely that he had not as yet made a concrete valuable discovery, but might never do so. This possibility did not appall him, but he recognized that it was a part of the circ.u.mstances of his particular case viewed from the standpoint of a contemplative judgment on his behavior. He was succeeding, but was his success of a character to justify depriving his wife and children of what might have been theirs but for his selection? The discussion was purely academic, for he had made his choice, but he did not question Edna"s privilege to weigh the abstract proposition, and accordingly was not depressed by her frankness.
It happened a few weeks later that Edna received a letter from Mrs.
Sidney Dale inviting her and Morgan to spend a fortnight at the Dale spring and autumn home on the Hudson. Edna had seen Mrs. Dale but twice since their trip abroad. She had been unable to accept a previous similar invitation, but on this occasion Morgan insisted that she should go. He argued that it would refresh and rest her, and he agreed to conduct her to Cliffside and remain for a day or two himself.
Cliffside proved to be a picturesque, s.p.a.cious house artistically situated at the vantage point of a domain of twenty acres and furnished with the soothing elegancies of modern ingenuity and taste.
Among the attractions were a terrace garden, a well-accoutred stable, a tennis court, and a steam yacht. Mrs. Dale, who had prefaced her invitation by informing her husband that she never understood exactly why she was so fond of Edna and feared that the Russells were very poor, sat, a vision of successive cool, light summer garments, doing fancy work on the piazza, and talking in her engaging, brightly indolent manner. Morgan found Mr. Dale, who was taking a vacation within telephonic reach of New York, a genial, well-informed man with the effect of mental strength and reserve power. They became friendly over their cigars, and a common liking for old-fashioned gardens. On the evening before he departed, Morgan, in the course of conversation, expressed an opinion concerning certain electrical appliances before the public in the securities of which his host was interested. The banker listened with keen attention, put sundry questions which revealed his own acuteness, and in pursuance of the topic talked to Morgan graphically until after midnight of the large enterprises involving new mechanical discoveries in which his firm was engaged.
Morgan was obliged to go home on the following morning, but Edna remained a full fortnight. On the day of her return Morgan was pleased to perceive that the trip had evidently done her good. Not only did she look brighter and fresher, but there was a sparkling gayety in her manner which suggested that the change had served as a tonic. Morgan did not suspect that this access of spirits was occasioned by the secret she was cherishing until she confronted him with it in the evening.
"My dear," she said, "you would never guess what has happened, so I won"t ask you to try. I wonder what you will think of it. Mr. Dale is going to ask you--has asked you to go into his business--to become one of his partners."
"Asked me?"
"Yes. It seems you made a good impression on him from the first--especially the last evening when you sat up together. It came about through Mrs. Dale, I think. That is, Mr. Dale has been looking about for some time for what he calls the right sort of man to take in, for one of his partners has died recently and the business is growing; and Mrs. Dale seems to have had us on her mind because she had got it into her head that we were dreadfully poor. I don"t think she has at all a definite idea of what your occupation is. But the long and short of it is her husband wants you. He told me so himself in black and white, and you will receive a letter from him within a day or two."
"Wants me to become a broker?"
"A banker and broker."
"And--er--give up my regular work?"
Edna nervously smoothed out the lap of her dress as though she realized that she might be inflicting pain, but she raised her steady eyes and said with pleasant firmness:
"You would have to, of course, wouldn"t you? But Mr. Dale explained that you would be expected to keep a special eye on the mechanical and scientific interests of the firm. He said he had told you about them.
So all that would be in your line of work, wouldn"t it?"
"I understand--I understand. It would amount to nothing from the point of view of my special field of investigation," he answered a little sternly. "What reply did you make to him, Edna?"
"I merely said that I would tell you of the offer; that I didn"t know what you would think."
"I wish you had refused it then and there."
"I couldn"t do that, of course. The decision did not rest with me.
Besides, Morgan, I thought you might think that we could not--er--afford to refuse it, and that as you would still be more or less connected with scientific matters, you might regard it as a happy compromise. Mr. Dale said," she continued with incisive clearness in which there was a tinge of jubilation, "that on a conservative estimate you could count on ten or twelve thousand dollars a year, and his manner suggested that your share of the profits would be very much more than that."
"The scientific part is a mere sop; it amounts to nothing. I should be a banker, engaged in floating new financial enterprises and selling their securities to the public."
There was a brief silence. Edna rose and seating herself on the sofa beside him took his hands and said with solemn emphasis, "Morgan, if you think you will be unhappy--if you are satisfied that this change would not be the best thing for us, say so and let us give it up. Give it up and we will never think of it again."
He looked her squarely in the face. "My G.o.d, Edna, I don"t know what to answer! It"s a temptation. So many things would be made easy. It comes to this, Is a man justified in refusing such an opportunity and sacrificing his wife and children in order to be true to his----?"
She interrupted him. "If you put it that way, Morgan, we must decline.
If you are going to break your heart--"