"She didn"t come over to you," I said. "That"s not what happened."
"You don"t have to believe old Kenny here," he said. "Just tell me what you want me to tell you and I"ll tell you it."
"You took her."
"Sure," he said. "It was me who grabbed her away back up there, my arms around her little tummy and all, holding her dead close like. I carried her across the mountain like we"d just got married, Jack, you should have seen us. Was dead romantic."
"You abducted her," I said. "She didn"t come to you."
"Oh, she came around pretty quick after seeing our party, Jack. Was dead good it was, much better than yours. Still going on actually, even after yours has kind of stopped." He sn.i.g.g.e.red. "She joined right in."
Graham was turning away from the bleeding wolves, turning away from their thrusting mouths and stained paws. He walked away and knelt in the wet.
"No," I said, to Kenny. "I don"t believe you."
"Oh," he said, "I wouldn"t expect a good proper man like you to believe old Kenny here. Not a weird old creep like Kenny. Oh no. Don"t believe me, Jack. I"m telling all lies."
He didn"t seem able to move, apart from his mouth. I looked over to where Jennifer was, and she was watching, horrified, as Francis sunk his fingers into Taylor"s arms. I had this impression that everybody was quickly changing from one thing into another and back again, their skins reversing so that the hair was outside one moment, inside the next, their joints bending one way and then the opposite.
Up there on the fell the night was snow-m.u.f.fled, colourless, starlit and cold, although fires still danced down by the lake and we could still hear the fiddle, now slow and moaning, like a huge, dying animal.
"She"s a hot one, Jenny is," Kenny said. "Can do all sorts of things with her insides. You want to keep hold of her. Ha ha. Some advice is better never than late, eh?"
"What are you doing here?" I said.
"Why wouldn"t I be here?" he said, one cheek pressed into the snow. "Anybody with any sense would be here."
"Did you offer something?" I said. "Did you were you approached?"
"Mm," he said. "I got bit by something that had been a girl, a dead fit girl, in her bedsit. She was f.u.c.king gorgeous, Jack, dead fit. Not as fit as Jenny, though. Anyways. Some feller came to see me afterwards, bit weird he was, and said he could make it easier. But I told him where to go." He coughed. "You know what mothers say about trusting strange men. Told him to f.u.c.k right off. Stupidest thing I ever did cos it"s not like I had anything to lose." He seemed to think for a moment. "That was I don"t know how long ago. Maybe I closed down eventually anyway. Not everyone does, like. Most get all dead sad and mad and f.u.c.ked up. I just locked my self away deep down and tried to forget about it. It still comes back though sometimes, Jack, and it"s like G.o.d when it does, huge and angry. Wish I"d got rid of the f.u.c.ker when I had the chance. Had no plans for it." how long ago. Maybe I closed down eventually anyway. Not everyone does, like. Most get all dead sad and mad and f.u.c.ked up. I just locked my self away deep down and tried to forget about it. It still comes back though sometimes, Jack, and it"s like G.o.d when it does, huge and angry. Wish I"d got rid of the f.u.c.ker when I had the chance. Had no plans for it."
I stood there, one foot in the small of his back, the other holding the axe down in the hole I"d made. Every now and then a tremor ran through his spine. It sounded like Francis and Taylor were talking and snarling but I didn"t look over.
"So you were a werewolf at work?" I asked.
"What, back at the call centre?" He laughed. ""Course I f.u.c.king was. You"re only ever a step away from us, Jack. We"re, like, everywhere." He coughed. "Jack, let me see Jenny one more time before you, like, finish me off."
"No," I said. "You"re sick. Dangerous."
"Nothing I don"t already know," he said. "Don"t you want to be?"
"No. I don"t ever want to be anything like you."
"OK." He closed his eyes, and shivered. I felt another tremor and I thought he was trying to change, but the axe was still buried in his spine and he could not close over it. "I"ll believe you. Thousands wouldn"t." He coughed again and spat something black out into the snow. "But what about Jenny?"
I lifted the axe quickly and brought it down hard on the back of his head which seemed soft and rotten and split open easily. He stopped talking, and wriggled a little more, then stopped moving completely. split open easily. He stopped talking, and wriggled a little more, then stopped moving completely.
Somebody put their hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Graham. He looked concerned.
"You OK?"
"Yeah," I said.
"You did the right thing."
"I know." I"d not doubted myself for a second. "Jennifer!" I said. I stumbled towards her, and her towards me, and I held her tight to me and she was covered in blood, her black dress torn and ruined. "We need to get you back to the house. Oh G.o.d. I"m so so sorry."
"No," she said. "No! Francis!"
I turned and saw Taylor standing, licking the blood from his mouth. Francis" dead body lay at his feet, the face torn off, the front of his skull visible his teeth, the hole behind his nose, and the eyes in their sockets, coming out of their sockets, the skull crushed into a peak at the front. And yet the skin was still intact around the rest of his head, his hair was still there on the top. The window on his skull made me feel sick and I felt like a pervert, looking at something that I was not supposed to see.
Taylor stood there, his clothes, ripped and torn and falling off, piling up around his feet. He was walking towards us me, Jennifer on my right, Graham on my left and his body was lean and wiry, his eyes were spilling black light, his hands and mouth stained red, his hair a dark shock surrounding his pale face. He had the glamour that folklore and story often attributed to those imbued with some sort of dark power not glamour in the modern sense, but in the old sense, the charm, the aura, the beauty. He seemed to have drawn it from the mountain, the snow, the blood. He pointed at Jennifer. with some sort of dark power not glamour in the modern sense, but in the old sense, the charm, the aura, the beauty. He seemed to have drawn it from the mountain, the snow, the blood. He pointed at Jennifer.
"Jack," he said. "Listen to me." His voice was deeper, more commanding. "Francis told me that-"
The axe arced through the air towards him. Taylor"s eyes shifted from me to the axe, and he jumped backwards, but it still caught him, the heavy, rusty blade slicing into his leg, and he fell. Graham stepped forwards.
"No," I said, "Graham-"
"You saw him!" Graham shouted. "You saw him!" He swung the axe downwards as Taylor grew up from the ground like the primal thing he was, like the beast from beyond the firelight. The wolf that crossed the frozen river, born in the s.p.a.ce beneath the world we knew.
"He was trying to tell me something," I said. "Graham. He was trying to tell me something."
"I don"t suppose it really matters," Jennifer said. "I don"t think anything can matter that much after all of this."
"You do," I said. "You are all that matters now. You were all that ever mattered really, Jennifer. I"m so sorry."
"Don"t say sorry," she said. "Jack. Thank you. Thank you so much."
Yet more blood was flowing from the bodies of Graham and Taylor as they writhed across the fell, but I couldn"t work out who was who, or who was doing what, or who was what. Darkness seemed to be closing in on me, and the music from the lake was increasing in tempo and pitch, and either Graham or Taylor managed to stand and start making his way towards us, but the other one pulled him back. Their faces were masks, their bodies a tangle of hair and skin and bone that couldn"t be untied. pitch, and either Graham or Taylor managed to stand and start making his way towards us, but the other one pulled him back. Their faces were masks, their bodies a tangle of hair and skin and bone that couldn"t be untied.
"Jennifer," I said. "We have to get back to the house."
"Graham is going to become one of them," she said.
I nodded.
As we made our way, slowly, across the fell, the music seemed to fade. The sounds of orgiastic revelry, too, faltered away not completely, just enough for us to feel like we had put some distance between them and us. The way was hard and steep, and we were tired. We looked at each other, and at ourselves at our far-away-feeling limbs. I was blue with cold, and Jennifer was wide-eyed and b.l.o.o.d.y. Our bodies ached but we carried on walking. I imagined Graham and Taylor straying too close to the edge of the crags and both of them falling off, bouncing down the fellside and finishing their fight somewhere on the valley floor.
Every now and then I slipped and stuck out my hand, looking for something to grab hold of.
As I saw the dark, hard-edged shape of the barn emerge out of the sky up ahead Jennifer pointed backwards, eastwards, and said, "Look!"
I turned.
"It"s getting light," she said. The row of mountain peaks stood out sharply against the yellowy-blue glow emanating from the out-of-sight sun, and they looked like teeth. We were inside a mouth and the light was coming in from outside, silhouetting the row of ugly, sharkish teeth. A mouth full of stars, but dark despite them. from the out-of-sight sun, and they looked like teeth. We were inside a mouth and the light was coming in from outside, silhouetting the row of ugly, sharkish teeth. A mouth full of stars, but dark despite them.
"So it is." I struggled with the sudden conviction that we had to turn around and head towards the light, away from the house. The house was in the wrong direction, being in the direction of the remaining darkness. I struggled with the idea for too long, and stood there, torn, until a sickening wail rose up from where we"d just come, agonised and hopeless.
"Was that Graham?" Jennifer asked. "Or Taylor?"
"I don"t know," I said. "I can"t tell."
We pa.s.sed the trees. In the half-light of dawn they looked ill, misshapen, like they had been damaged as they"d grown, or maybe been planted wrongly, somehow, and I didn"t look at the b.l.o.o.d.y, muddy ground we just kept on walking.
We reached the house and stood before it. The truth was that it terrified me, and I didn"t want to go inside. I really didn"t want to go inside.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
"We had that fight," she said. "I"m sorry about that. The fight. I"m sorry."
"It"s OK," I said. "What happened afterwards?"
"He grabbed me. I didn"t know what was happening. I didn"t know who he was. I felt his arms around my stomach and I tried to pull them off and they were covered in hair. I looked down and saw that he had about five knuckles on each finger. That was what it looked like. I might have been wrong. I must have been wrong. And all the while he was dragging me backwards, pulling me backwards, and I was trying to hook my heels into the ground but they just kept bouncing off. I don"t know how he was moving so fast. Then he lifted me up so that I was lying across his arms. He didn"t speak. I was screaming because I didn"t know what he was. I was just seeing these hairy arms and all those knuckles. He kept laughing. I was watching his feet, he was barefoot, and his feet were an animal"s feet. His legs bent the wrong way and they were strange-looking, well, obviously they were strange-looking. He took me across the fell down towards the lake. It seemed to take forever even though he was moving so fast. My shoes came off and my feet turned blue and he put me down at one point and I cut my feet up on the scree. He was taking me to where the noise was coming from, I thought. The next thing I knew we were on the road that leads to the lake and I could hear them all closer. We were nearly there and I was crying and screaming because I thought, like, if they"re all like him. What are they going to do to me? And then we were there, in the middle of them all, and it was awful, Jack, awful, they were all screaming and laughing and fighting and f.u.c.king each other and eating people and I thought they were going to do that to me, and they were all strange, like swollen in strange places or some of them had other creatures and I tried to pull them off and they were covered in hair. I looked down and saw that he had about five knuckles on each finger. That was what it looked like. I might have been wrong. I must have been wrong. And all the while he was dragging me backwards, pulling me backwards, and I was trying to hook my heels into the ground but they just kept bouncing off. I don"t know how he was moving so fast. Then he lifted me up so that I was lying across his arms. He didn"t speak. I was screaming because I didn"t know what he was. I was just seeing these hairy arms and all those knuckles. He kept laughing. I was watching his feet, he was barefoot, and his feet were an animal"s feet. His legs bent the wrong way and they were strange-looking, well, obviously they were strange-looking. He took me across the fell down towards the lake. It seemed to take forever even though he was moving so fast. My shoes came off and my feet turned blue and he put me down at one point and I cut my feet up on the scree. He was taking me to where the noise was coming from, I thought. The next thing I knew we were on the road that leads to the lake and I could hear them all closer. We were nearly there and I was crying and screaming because I thought, like, if they"re all like him. What are they going to do to me? And then we were there, in the middle of them all, and it was awful, Jack, awful, they were all screaming and laughing and fighting and f.u.c.king each other and eating people and I thought they were going to do that to me, and they were all strange, like swollen in strange places or some of them had other creatures erupting out of them, that"s what it looked like, or they were half-human, half-dog. And then he started dancing with me, spinning me round and around and around and I was still crying and I saw his face and he had a wolf"s head, but at that point his body was completely human. He spun me round and around. It was like being inside a burning, rolling car. He had an erection. He just kept spinning me round and around and the fiddle-player from the party was there. And then another one jumped on to the one that took me, and they were fighting and howling like wolves and then another one grabbed me, the fat woman from the shop, and she held me down and tried to-" erupting out of them, that"s what it looked like, or they were half-human, half-dog. And then he started dancing with me, spinning me round and around and around and I was still crying and I saw his face and he had a wolf"s head, but at that point his body was completely human. He spun me round and around. It was like being inside a burning, rolling car. He had an erection. He just kept spinning me round and around and the fiddle-player from the party was there. And then another one jumped on to the one that took me, and they were fighting and howling like wolves and then another one grabbed me, the fat woman from the shop, and she held me down and tried to-"
"Did any of them bite you?"
"No. No, she tried to tried to kiss me and pour this drink into my mouth, but he Kenny suddenly jumped up and pushed her away and he must have fought the other one off, I don"t know, and he said, "We"re going somewhere else," or something, and he started pulling me along again, but I said, "It"s OK, I don"t want to stay here," and he let me walk and I thought once we"re away from this place I"ll just hit him with a rock. That was what I thought." She paused.
"The fat woman from the shop?" I asked. "One of them?"
"Yeah," she said. "I know."
A scratching metal sound drew our attention to the barn and we saw that the barn door was open. The wind was pushing it gently and the door moved slowly across the yard, creaking forlornly.
"Did you?" I asked.
"What?"
"Did you hit him with a rock?"
"Oh," she said. "No, I didn"t. I picked one up but he saw it and knocked it out of my hand. Then he hit me. I kicked him and he hit me again. I started hitting him properly, punching him in the face, but it didn"t do anything. Then he threw me face first on to the ground and pulled my dress up. You saw you saw what he was doing."
"Here," I said, and held her slim, trembling body close to me, the house looking down at us, staring down at us, and gradually the day dawned. I tried to think of something else to say.
The first thing I did once we were inside was try all the light switches, and on finding that they were working again I danced an unhinged little dance there in the kitchen, hopping from one foot to the other, completely unmoved by the thick opaque globs of liver-coloured something that were smeared across the dark slate.
"Ha ha!" I shouted. "Light!"
Jennifer sat down at the kitchen table, which was covered in the empty tin cups of burnt out tea-lights and empty bottles and paper plates and broken crisps. She looked around fearfully, as if the room was full of things that I couldn"t see.
"Part of me thinks that I shouldn"t say this," I said, "but another part of me thinks that it"s a perfectly OK thing to say."
"Just say it," she said, tiredly.
"The kettle works."
She did not reply just looked at me.
"I"m making a cup of tea anyway," I said. "I"m going to make you one too, and you can decide whether or not you want to drink it."
I turned and opened a blood-spattered cupboard door. Inside the cupboard, it was as if the whole night hadn"t happened everything was clean and undamaged. I took out two mugs and put them down on the worktop, on the edge of which there were marks and a nastily shaped bloodstain that suggested somebody"s head had been smashed down on to it, their upper jaw bearing the brunt, the teeth shooting forwards and underneath the toaster. It looked as if the teeth were nesting beneath the toaster.
I opened the fridge door. The interior of the fridge too was refreshingly pristine, and it almost started to make me feel better. "There"s not that much milk left," I said, "but there"s enough for this morning. It"ll see us through most of the clean-up effort, I imagine." I swung the milk out of the fridge as the kettle boiled.
"What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you?" Jennifer asked.
"Nothing!" I screamed, throwing the bottle of milk at the wall. It burst spectacularly, and mingled with the stuff on the floor, pooling in puddles marbled red and white. "There is nothing f.u.c.king f.u.c.king wrong with me, alright?" I kicked the bin over. "Now we"ve got no milk." wrong with me, alright?" I kicked the bin over. "Now we"ve got no milk."
"How can you care about that that?" she spat. "Everything"s covered in blood. I"ve been s.e.xually a.s.saulted. Your friends have all just killed each other. They"re all dead." covered in blood. I"ve been s.e.xually a.s.saulted. Your friends have all just killed each other. They"re all dead."
"They"re not all dead," I said, looking out of the window.
"We"ve seen monsters, Jack. We"ve seen that these things are real. You don"t seem to get it. It doesn"t seem to have gone in. I"ll say it again. I"ve been s.e.xually a.s.saulted. You hear me?" Her voice was shaking. "He raped me. That b.a.s.t.a.r.d."
I looked at her but couldn"t process anything thinking was like trying to look through misted-up windows. There was a long, long silence.
I don"t believe he a.s.saulted you, I thought. I think you might just be one of them too. How could he have been f.u.c.king you and not have bitten you? That threat he had made all those months ago. I"m going to make her mine, or something.
I found myself looking at myself and thinking, how callous, how cold, as if I was splitting partly into an object that could be judged and partly into a consciousness that could do the judging and the two parts were drifting apart, losing touch.
"What did Taylor want to tell me, do you think, before Graham went for him?" I said. "Why would he want to tell me anything?"
"I don"t know," Jennifer whispered. "I don"t f.u.c.king know."
Maybe I should have tried to find him, but no, they were outside and we were inside and there was no good reason to interfere with that arrangement. I had everything that I had left the house to get in the first place that was, Jennifer. that I had left the house to get in the first place that was, Jennifer.
"Jennifer," I said. "You know the only reason I was out there was to find you. There was nothing else. No other reason for it. You do love me, don"t you?"
She looked at me blankly.
"Jennifer," I said.
"Yes!" she said. "Of course I do."
"Good." I sat down. I felt that the seat was wet and stood up again.
We drank our tea black.
"We have to start upstairs," Jennifer said, suddenly calm. "If we clean up the downstairs, it"ll just get all mucky again once we start bringing all the bits down from upstairs."
"Upstairs," I said. "OK."
Jennifer was doing the bathroom and I was doing our bedroom in theory, although really I was just standing in the doorway, neither in nor out, looking at the mess. It looked like somebody had filled about ten buckets with blood and then set off a firework in each one, covering everything in a fine mist, although in places there were streaks and splashes where denser things had landed. The landing was the same. Our whole blasted house. Our house.
"Jennifer," I shouted through to the bathroom. "We"re going to have to burn everything. Everything."
"What?" she shouted.