"What?" I said. "No, she meant it. Of course she meant it."
"Like playing hard to get, is what I thought she was doing," he said. "But this just gets worse and worse. I"m not happy now, Sprat. Things like this is what breaks people up when they"re already all tired and desperate."
"I"m sorry," I said.
"You"re not sorry even a little bit," he said. "You don"t think I deserve a nice little girl like her, do you? You"re glad you"ve got her all to yourself, aren"t you? All wrapped up and yours. Honest to f.u.c.king G.o.d, Sprat, you don"t know how f.u.c.king close I am now to sorting you out all good and proper." He looked up at me and there were tears crawling out of his flat eyes. "If it weren"t so f.u.c.king messy I"d do you right now." glad you"ve got her all to yourself, aren"t you? All wrapped up and yours. Honest to f.u.c.king G.o.d, Sprat, you don"t know how f.u.c.king close I am now to sorting you out all good and proper." He looked up at me and there were tears crawling out of his flat eyes. "If it weren"t so f.u.c.king messy I"d do you right now."
"I"m going now," I said, and stumbled backwards to the door, swung it open, and left him there in the room, his sweaty hands gripping the desk edge like he was trying to occupy them, trying to stop them escaping and wreaking their havoc.
I found Artemis wandering the floor on the way back to my desk and told him of Kenny"s threats.
"What exactly did he say?" he asked, frowning. He was wearing the blackest of black suits and his skin was tight, smooth and tanned.
"He said he"d do me right now if it wasn"t so messy," I said.
"What did he mean?" asked Artemis.
"I think I think he meant he"d kill me."
"I"m sorry, Jack," he said, frowning, "but I find that highly unlikely."
"I wouldn"t just say something like that," I said.
"Where was this?"
"In that room over there," I said, turning and pointing at the door to the old training room.
"Come on then," he said. "I"m sure Kenny will have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. It all sounds a bit outlandish to me." He marched purposefully off before I could refuse to accompany him, and so I followed him hesitantly, at a distance, afraid of what we might find. bit outlandish to me." He marched purposefully off before I could refuse to accompany him, and so I followed him hesitantly, at a distance, afraid of what we might find.
Kenny was not there any more, but the window was broken. Artemis dashed to it and looked out over the edge. "f.u.c.k," he said. "He"s jumped."
I backed out of the room and could only look at the big yellow poster to the left of the doorway.
HELP OUR CUSTOMERS STAY OUT OF DEBT. DEMAND PAYMENT IN FULL TODAY!.
FRANCIS.
I am plugged into a telephone. And sitting at a long straight row of desks. The room is busy with the low hum of a thousand computers and there are no windows. The room is strip-lit, and the air feels thick and green. My headset pushes my ears into the side of my head. The humming is an audible static a kind of ethereal, intangible acid. People ring up to pay or query or dispute their water bills. Sometimes they just ring up to show us all how angry they are, and how good they are at putting people down. You get some sick, sad, rage-filled b.a.s.t.a.r.ds. And some real senseless aggression.
That"s not why Kenny jumped, though. He didn"t answer the phones. Jack says Kenny jumped because of Jennifer. But I don"t think there"s any mystery as to why he jumped. Anybody could probably talk themselves into it. The interesting thing is where he went after he disappeared from the hospital.
There is a local TV news crew filming the call centre. The reporter is a tall blonde girl with small eyes and a smart blue suit. She and the cameraman walk down the central aisle. The cameraman sets the camera up not far from where I sit. He"s going to film Artemis talking about Kenny. Then, no doubt, the cameraman will pan across the floor. I should remain just out of shot. smart blue suit. She and the cameraman walk down the central aisle. The cameraman sets the camera up not far from where I sit. He"s going to film Artemis talking about Kenny. Then, no doubt, the cameraman will pan across the floor. I should remain just out of shot.
"He must have been very popular," the cameraman says to me. "Everybody looks so sad."
"Mm," I say.
And another thing that bothers me at work is this idea that electromagnetic fields might cause cancer. And here in this room there are I don"t know how many computers. How many phones. And beneath my desk there are so many wires that they"re like hair. I look at them and ask myself, can I feel my cells mutating? I don"t know. I"m watching the liquid-crystal display on my desk phone at work. I"m finishing my shift at five, which is two minutes away. These last two minutes are horrible, because you can"t turn your phone off; the managers look out for that. And if you get a call through, you"ll be late finishing. And it"s always the biggest idiots that you end up getting when you"re supposed to be finishing. The most self-righteous, think-they"re-clever, patronising d.i.c.ks. And they always go on for ages and ages. Talking slowly because they think we"re stupid. I don"t know. I"m watching the liquid-crystal display on my desk phone at work. I"m finishing my shift at five, which is two minutes away. These last two minutes are horrible, because you can"t turn your phone off; the managers look out for that. And if you get a call through, you"ll be late finishing. And it"s always the biggest idiots that you end up getting when you"re supposed to be finishing. The most self-righteous, think-they"re-clever, patronising d.i.c.ks. And they always go on for ages and ages. Talking slowly because they think we"re stupid.
The date of Dad"s operation is more or less here, all of a sudden. And he"s going into hospital the day after tomorrow.
Inside me a huge clock is ticking. My hands clench.
f.u.c.k it.
I log off my phone a minute early and grab my coat and bag. I make for the door before anybody can stop me. Everybody will be too distracted to notice. Too distracted by the camera.
So they can put me on an overtime ban, or whatever. Give me a warning. Sack me.
Outside it"s raining. People run around with their jackets pulled up, or struggle with umbrellas. Or shelter in the doorways of shops and office blocks. I was going to walk home as I don"t have any change for the bus. But I don"t really fancy it, given the weather.
I could duck into a shop or two until it"s blown over.
I head for the record shop. Or what was a record shop and is now a kind of department store for all things media. CDs, DVDs, video games, posters, books. A few vinyl records. Not many. I love it in here. Love the loud music. The black carpets and shelving. The tricks they develop to make you spend more. The staff recommendations. The quiet studiousness of customers. I could spend hours and hours just browsing. Sometimes I find that I"m picking up more or less every item on the rack, looking at it, considering it and putting it down again. And I have to stop myself, otherwise I would be trapped like an ant in honey. Today though, I head straight upstairs to the DVDs.
I don"t let myself stop at the boxed sets of TV series which are on sale. Or the world-cinema section. Or the new releases. I need to restrict myself to the bare necessities. I start off in the horror section. And then move on to the feature films AZ. I pick up I start off in the horror section. And then move on to the feature films AZ. I pick up Rocketship X-M. Creature From the Haunted Sea. Earth vs. the Spider Rocketship X-M. Creature From the Haunted Sea. Earth vs. the Spider. (Tag-line "Bullets ... won"t kill it! Flames ... can"t burn it! Nothing ... can stop it!") The Brain That Wouldn"t Die The Brain That Wouldn"t Die. (Tag-line "It"s madness, not science!") I should have picked up a basket. I get The Crawling Eye. The She Beast. The Woman Eater The Crawling Eye. The She Beast. The Woman Eater. I look at War of the Colossal Beast War of the Colossal Beast, but it"s a sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man The Amazing Colossal Man, which really was just s.h.i.t, in a bad way, so I put that one back. I also find a few I"ve never heard of before: Dungeon of Harrow. Hercules Against the Moon Men. Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine Dungeon of Harrow. Hercules Against the Moon Men. Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine. Featuring Vincent Price! So that"s ten. I should probably leave it at that. I carry them as a stack towards the counter.
Might have stopped raining too. If I"m lucky.
Back at the house, Graham, Taylor and Erin are playing Mario Kart. I sit down on the sofa and put the bag of DVDs on the floor next to me. The cartoony music and toy-like zooming sounds of the game make me feel kind of safe.
"What you got, Francis?" Graham says. Without taking his eyes off the screen. "More s.h.i.t films?"
"No," I say. "Well, yeah. But funny, probably. I don"t know, do I? Haven"t watched them yet. You should watch them with me, Graham. Could have a boys" night in."
"I"ve made plans for tonight," he says. "Meeting someone later."
"Graham"s got a date," Erin says.
"Online," Taylor says.
"It"s still a date!" Graham says. "Christ almighty. You"d think I was planning to murder some children."
"Who with?" I ask. "I mean, who"s the date with?"
"Some girl," Graham says.
"Do you know her name?" I say.
"Yeah."
"What is it?" I say.
"I know her name," he says.
"What is it?" I say.
"See, now you"re making me lose." He gestures angrily towards the screen.
"You don"t know, do you?" I say.
"Alright!" he says. "I don"t know her real name. Her avatar is called Miss Lynch, though, and no, before you ask, nothing kinky, she"s just a David Lynch fan. OK?"
"Avatar?" Erin says. "You mean, like, it"s an actual virtual virtual date?" date?"
"Yes," he says. "Yes it is."
"You"re not going to be looking at p.o.r.n while you"re on this date are you, Graham?" Taylor asks.
"You know, I don"t know why I even bother trying to be friends with all of you perverts," Graham says. "Erin and Taylor the Siamese twins and Francis the the weirdo."
"You"re not supposed to say Siamese," I say. "You"re supposed to say conjoined."
"f.u.c.k you," he says. He points at the screen again. "See! Straight into the f.u.c.king lava! I"m going to make a cup of tea no, I"m going for a can and you can all go p.i.s.s up a rope if you think you"re getting any."
He storms from the room.
"What films did you get anyway, Francis?" Erin asks.
"Lots," I say. I hand her the bag. "Here. It"s a bit sad but I can"t even remember all of the t.i.tles."
"Wow," she says. She looks inside. "It"s a wonder you"ve got any money left for train tickets. "The Woman Eater." "It devours only the most beautiful", apparently. Hey, Francis, we should watch some of these tonight. You"re off tomorrow, aren"t you?"
"What did you say?"
"We should watch-"
"No," I say. "No, sorry. I know what you said. I mean train tickets?"
"Yeah," she says. "You"re going home for the operation, aren"t you? On the train?"
"Oh s.h.i.t!" I stand up. "Train tickets! f.u.c.k! I completely forgot!"
"Well, these have still got the cellophane on. You could take them back."
"No. Well, I could, I guess but I could also ask Jack for a lift. What do you think? Then, afterwards, I could give him one of these as a thank-you present. Yes!" I sit back down. "That"s what I"ll do."
"The abominable Francis Wood," Taylor says.
"I"m not abominable," I say. "So. Which one shall we watch?"
JACK.
The girl who had been found dead in the alley that night had worked at the call centre, on one of the lower floors, working on a different contract to us, and none of us had known her. The local media seemed to pick the story up again once Kenny jumped from that window, and the following couple of weeks were busy with news or, rather, speculation. Nothing definite was in the Manchester Evening News Manchester Evening News or on the TV, unless we"d missed it, but I doubted that because Francis watched as much news as he did Hammer Horror films, and I was trying to follow the story on the web. or on the TV, unless we"d missed it, but I doubted that because Francis watched as much news as he did Hammer Horror films, and I was trying to follow the story on the web.
As for Kenny, I hadn"t been able to stop thinking about him since it happened, and I hadn"t said anything to anybody, but I knew there was something deeply wrong with him, something to do with the dead girl. I felt like I should ring the police and tell them what I"d seen, but now I"d look suspicious because I"d left it so long and the whole thing was a bit of a mess.
I was lying on my bed. I could hear the others playing Mario Kart downstairs, but I couldn"t bring myself to go and join in.
If there was anybody in my entire life that I"d be surprised to see crying, it was Kenny. It was still possible that he"d died, although the general consensus was that he was still alive and he had walked out of the hospital himself.
I sat up.
The thoughts ran around inside my head like a toy train, as they"d been doing since it happened. He"d wanted to know where Jennifer had been in order to seduce her somehow, to ask her out, and found out that he was too late, and given his illness or whatever it was, this perceived rejection was too much to take and so he jumped ... that was the only way I could see it. I wasn"t responsible, was I? Soon after it had happened, I had to make a statement to the police. One of the policemen had looked like Christopher Lee tall, with hollow cheeks and deep eyes and a white beard and he"d looked bored. The other had been fat, tremendously fat, with an oversized tooth jutting out from his lower jaw and protruding out above his lip. He"d worn small gold studs in his ears.
"You were the last person to see him before he jumped," Christopher Lee said.
"Yes," I said. "I think so."
"You didn"t like him much, did you?" the fat one said.
"Well," I replied. "No. Not really, no."
Despite their best attempts to make out it was something more suspicious, Kenny"s jump had been a suicide and they all knew it. Apparently it hadn"t been the first time he"d tried to kill himself. more suspicious, Kenny"s jump had been a suicide and they all knew it. Apparently it hadn"t been the first time he"d tried to kill himself.
"Do you know of any places or people that were special to him?" Christopher Lee asked. "Did he ever talk about any family or loved ones?"
"I don"t know anything about him," I"d said.
That had been before he"d woken up and left the hospital, otherwise I might have mentioned Jennifer. As it was, they had no reason to believe he was a danger to others ... after all, I supposed, the police were just people like us. It was unreasonable to expect too much of them. Jennifer and I would just have to keep our eyes peeled.
I headed downstairs for some food, and as I pa.s.sed through the downstairs hallway Francis stuck his head out of the living-room door.
"Jack," he said.
"h.e.l.lo," I said. "You OK?"
"Yes, thank you. I"m after a ma.s.sive favour though. Like, really big."
"I"ll probably say yes."
"My dad"s going into hospital the day after tomorrow," he said, "and I was wondering if you could give me a lift up to c.u.mbria? I"m sorry to land it on you so short notice."
"Actually, I"d like that. Yes. Definitely. I feel like I need to get away for a couple of days. I"ll ask Jennifer too. I mean, we won"t stay at yours, obviously we"ll find a bed-and-breakfast or something."
"Thank you," he said. "Thank you very much."
I would never have thought of it myself, but a couple of days away would be nice, as long as Jennifer could come too. I didn"t want to leave her on her own.
FRANCIS.
When I wake up it is dark outside the car. Some old R.E.M. song "I Remember California" is low on the radio. The car smells like apples and the night is full of red and white lights. Jennifer is asleep in the pa.s.senger seat, and I"m in the back.