A moment later the person the voice belongs to walks into sight."Looks like I was right. You did have to die before you"d bother to come see me, Sonia."
I glare at her.
There"s no point hiding my emotions around her.
"You"re the one who left."
"I did what was necessary."
She"s completely emotionless when she responds.
I can"t help but flick my gaze to the pendant nestled between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
Her smirk tells me that she caught the move.
"You"d be surprised just how… enlightening living here has been."
"I hear that you visited Kent."
"I did. He"s devastated at your death."
I clamp down on my guilt but not fast enough.
The way her gaze softens makes it clear that she caught it.
"He"ll be overjoyed to find out that you"re alive."
She doesn"t bother to hide the bitterness in her voice.
I shrug.
"What do you think of the new Lady Auron?"
My husband stiffens at my question but is just as interested in the answer as I am.
She glances at one of the books scattered around as she gives her answer.
"She"s perfectly nice. She"d make a good little housewife, but she has no place being Lady Auron. Kent is practically carrying her and he will buckle under the weight."
She voices my own worries.
Still I don"t want to believe that.
"You"re underestimating him."
She scoffs.
"Do you really think me capable of that? He knows it too, but he"s too d.a.m.n duty-bound to put his own well being ahead of House Auron."
She says House Auron like a curse.
In a way I guess it is.
"We didn"t come here to chit-chat about the va.s.sal. Can we get to the point already?"
My husband"s words are laced with impatience.
For the first time since she entered the room, she looks at him.
I can practically see her emotional barriers go up.
I want to smack him for drawing attention to himself.
Our chances are slim enough without p.i.s.sing her off.
She turns her gaze back to me.
"So this is the husband? He"s not at all what I expected."
"He suited my purposes."
His impatience is obvious.
"Stop talking about me like I"m not in the room."
The irritation in his voice is clear.
"He"s loud."
I shrug.
"I suppose there"s something you want from me. You wouldn"t have come here otherwise."
She was done stalling.
"You"re right. I need a favour."
She let out a wry chuckle.
"And here I thought the dead didn"t need any favours."
My only response is to level my gaze at her.
She holds my gaze for a while before finally averting her eyes with a sigh.
"Fine. Come into the back and we"ll talk. It"s much more private."
When we moved to follow her out of the room she suddenly stopped.
"Not the loud one."
"I"m not letting her out of my sight!"
I know his outburst is more worry that I"d "escape" than anything else and yet…
It leaves me feeling oddly warm.
She rolls her eyes at him.
"Be glad I even let you in here. Quite frankly you"re a distraction and a nuisance."
My husband looks like he"s about to protest but I don"t give him a chance.
"Riel, I will come back, I promise. Now let me do what I need to do."
He visibly struggles with the decision before backing down.
"Thank you."
I whisper the words, not even sure if he can hear them, before following her out of the room.
"He"s not happy."
She sounds unbelievably weary.
The impression is aided by her rubbing at her temples.
"Are you okay?"
I"m not asking merely to be polite.
Weariness could impair her thinking and that"s the last thing we want in a tactician.
"Unlike you I haven"t spent the last few years surrounded by people. It"s more exhausting than I remembered."
I can"t help but feel chagrined at that.
I know how interacting with people - strangers especially - affects her and here I am about to ask her to do it more.
"I thought this was supposed to be a tight knit community or something."
She shrugs.
"It is, but that doesn"t mean people will just force themselves into your life. We respect each others boundaries here. We protect our own, even from ourselves."
I can"t help but think of Kent at her words.
He shows the same kind of caring.
Suddenly all traces of weariness are gone.
She draws herself up to her full height and fixes me with her piercing gaze.
"So tell me, Lady Sonia of House Auron, what would you request of me? I thought I settled my debt when I left."
I clamp down on my guilt.
I did what was necessary at the time.
She was a source of pain that would have destroyed House Auron.
Her bitter smile makes it clear that she"s reading me like a book.
"I"m not Kent, Lady Sonia. You and House Auron have no hold over me. I am under no obligation to help you in any way. I refuse to be abused like him."
The remoteness in her voice has me flinching.
It"s not like Kent"s comforting restraint.
It"s cold and hard. Unnatural, even.
I steel myself to ask what I need.
"We require your expertise."
She furrows her brow at this.
"My expertise? Tell me that you did not just ask me to orchestrate the death of other human beings."
I didn"t think it possible but her voice gets even colder.
"I know it"s a lot to ask but -"
She cuts me off with an impatient flick of her arm.
"And they say your father was ruthless. You would truly ask this of me?"
"You have to understand -"
"I have to do nothing, Lordling. I let you into my home and you ask me to do something that goes against every fibre of my being. You of all people should know-"
This time I cut her off.
"You"re right. I do know. I wouldn"t ask this if it wasn"t necessary."
She"s still wary but she lets me continue.
"Do you know of the rebellion against the King?"
She lifts one shoulder in a careless shrug.
"A ragtag rebellion being led by a desperate man. It will never work even if I helped. Your father did too good a job organising the castle"s defense."
My spirits deflate at her confirmation of my own fears.
"But what if it could? If the King was toppled then the gifted wouldn"t have to live in fear. You could return to the kingdom."
"There"s nothing left for me there. I"m going to need more motivation than that."
"If the King isn"t toppled soon Kent will be in danger."
She flinches bodily.
I can"t afford to regret it though.
Anything that gets her to agree is necessary.
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"What do you mean Kent will be in danger?"
"Kent will do anything to protect the current Lady Auron."
"He always has. That puts him in no more danger than when he was protecting you."
"If only that were the case. Arabella rising to my position did not escape notice. It"s going to stir some trouble and if anyone looks too closely into House Auron"s affairs..."
She swears under her breath.
"d.a.m.n you, Sonia! How could you open Kent up to that kind of scrutiny?"
"It wasn"t intentional. I didn"t expect to die."
She starts to pace.
"People won"t necessarily make the connection. They see what they want to see. He"s still safe."
It"s obvious that she"s trying to convince herself not me, but I can"t allow that.
"Even if the connection isn"t made, as long as the rebellion drags on Arabella and Kent are at risk of being collateral damage. We need to end this quickly."
"You want to end it quickly? Send the rebellion to their deaths. Problem solved. As for Kent… Have him come to the mountains. The King will never get him then."
I don"t bother trying to stifle the pain that thought brings.
Innocent Adrian, pa.s.sionate Riel, even the ever-jaded Larcen…
Their lives snuffed out by the King"s army.
Kent forced to leave everything he knows behind.
No.
That is not an option.
"I see. So you"ve grown attached."
I can"t meet her all too knowing gaze.
"Look, even if I wanted to help, I can"t. I won"t be responsible for the deaths of these people."
"If you don"t help they"ll die anyway."
My voice cracks.
Her conflicted expression darkens and she looks on the verge of capitulation but turns her back to me instead.
"If you"re going to ask something so huge from me then it"s only fitting I ask something of you in return."
I nod even though she can"t see it.
"Ask and if I can give it to you I will."
She draws in a deep breath.
"Kent. Give me Kent. Relieve him of his duty to House Auron and give him to me."
I expected the requested on an intellectual level, but it still leaves me floored emotionally.
"I can"t! He"s not mine to give!"
She lets out a low laugh.
It sounds hollow to my ears.
"Of course he isn"t. He"s hers now."
For some reason the thought causes pain to rise up within me.
"If we manage to topple the King though, then you can return to your life. If you do then he will return to your side. He will be yours again. In exchange for my help you will give him to me."
I recoil at the thought of treating Kent like some toy to be bartered, but her voice makes it clear that she won"t budge on this.
If I don"t agree we stand no chance.
If I do I could very well be destroying the life of someone who means the world to me.
"Come now, Lordling, it"s not that hard of a decision. If we manage to topple the King I get Kent and you get your bright and shiny new kingdom where people with magic aren"t treated merely as p.a.w.ns. If not, well we both lose, but without me you"d lose anyway."
I know she"s right.
Even with her help the chance of success is miniscule, but it is a chance.
Kent would…
Kent would gladly give his life to protect others.
And she would never harm him.
Not intentionally at least.
"Do we have a deal, Lordling?"
Do we…?
There"s really only one decision I can make.
Forgive me, Kent.
"We do."
"Good. I hope you don"t mind if we just skip the whole handshaking bit. I don"t think either of us would enjoy it."
I don"t respond to that.
I got what I wanted so why…?
Why does it feel like I"ve lost something more important?