Chapter 170
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
After five and days five nights of continuous traveling, he was dog tired, and perhaps now he could finally rest.
Suddenly, all of her pent-up frustrations vanished. How could merely one sentence be able to explain if something was right or wrong? The crimson blood that flowed on the Jiu You platform was still etched deeply in their minds, and she had accompanied him through all the dangers that lurked within the palace. Such hatred, such enmity. “Live on! Kill all of them!” His pledge still echoed in her ears. The countless mocking laughter, the countless plots against them, and the countless humiliation had all been planted within their hearts like seeds long ago. To him, the desire to destroy the gates to the Sheng Jin palace and to collapse the city walls of Zhen Huang was stronger than anyone’s. Yet, for just her words, he turned back. How could she not know his emotions?
The beliefs that had let her endure created a struggle within her heart. There was resentment, regret, joy, sadness. There was both pain and happiness, as she became torn between the two conflicting emotions. Only until now, when he gently expressed his worries about her, did she truly realize the conflict within her heart.
War had swallowed everything—the dusk, war horses, the weapons, the roars of the warriors, the shrieks of the civilians, and all faith and morals. But ultimately, it could not take away their feelings for each other.
She did not gain the trust of the man she pledged loyalty to, and had given her all to defend the city. In the process, countless warriors died, as their blood convened into a river, and their bones scattered across the lands. As their commander, she should bear resentment and anger, but as a woman, she received his overwhelming feelings. Between the territory and her, between his ambitions and her heart, he had given her an answer without hesitation. What right did she have to feel rage?
When he woke up, he saw that Chu Qiao was sleeping beside him, her small body huddled into a ball as her hands tightly grasped his hand. It was still dark outside the window. Wearing a loose blouse, Yan Xun stood in front of the window staring out at the snowy mountain range. Such was the state of the Yan Bei land. The entire land lacked resources and was frigid. It seemed like this land had always faced such problems. Even during the wise rule of his father, this land had been this way. But why did he have a certain stubborn misconception that Yan Bei had always been a beautiful place with constantly blooming flowers?
Perhaps, it was really as Lady Yu had said. He had changed, and he grew up and saw more things in the world. Along with this, his ambition had also grown. Apart from revenge, there were some deep-rooted beliefs within his heart, and he had not realized the problem until now. His experience over the years made him fully aware of the importance of power and strength. Without those, nothing could be achieved. Much like how a bird with clipped wings would find it impossible to fly. But now, he suddenly felt scared of that belief. His actions had almost caused her to die. Whenever he thought of that, he felt chills down his spine.
Gazing into the pitch black window, he was once again reminded of the green pastures of the lands to the east of Chi Shui. He still vividly remembered how he led his troops towards Yanming Pa.s.s, his heart had been full of ambition and his blood was boiling with pa.s.sion. It was a pity that he did not capture the capital in the end. Ultimately, the Xia Empire would always be there for him to conquer, but if he had returned even one day later, what would have happened to AhChu? He heaved a sigh of relief. Luckily, all was well.
Feeling that her hands were chilly, Chu Qiao woke up. Seeing Yan Xun’s figure standing before the window, she thought that his silhouette seemed ever so distant.
“Yan Xun?” she called out, her voice sounding as though she was still sleepy.
The man turned back and asked, “You’re awake?”
“Yes. What were you thinking about?”
Yan Xun walked over and cuddled with her, before quietly saying, “Nothing much.”
Chu Qiao’s leaned on his chest. Through his thin pajamas, she could hear his powerful heartbeats. It seemed as though, only at this moment, she finally confirmed that he had come back.
“Yan Xun, do you regret it?”
Firmly looking at her, he squeezed her slightly. “No.”
“But will you regret it in the future?”
Yan Xun fell into silence. Seeing that, Chu Qiao’s heart sank as she tensed up. After a long while, she finally heard his reply, “I regret that I came back late.”
Chu Qiao suddenly felt her vision cloud up. Pushing her face into his chest, she closed her eyes and bit her lip. What else could she have hoped for? She knew that she could not afford to be too self-centered. Even if she was to accompany him all the time, how much of his troubles could she help him with? How much of his sadness of losing his entire family could she understand? As long as he still remembered her, thought about her, and cared about her, that would be enough.
“Yan Xun, you must not hide anything from me next time.”
“Yea. Sure,” Yan Xun replied.
Chu Qiao sank into slumber again. The dream was so warm and sweet. Someone was holding her by her hand firmly as though he would never let go for all eternity. Drowsily, she thought of where else had she seen this dream before. Right, it was in the Tang Empire, a beautiful place full of sunshine and warmth. Yet, Chu Qiao felt that that place was not as warm as Yan Bei. Standing in this land, her heart was overwhelmed with warmth and gentleness despite the countless mountains and endless snow.
The snow finally cleared up as the faint sunlight shone down through the barren tree branches. After Yan Xun had come back, it was as though even the weather had taken a turn for the better. With clear blue skies and bright warm sun, the vast snowy plains looked ever so iridescent.
The past few battles had not only left Yan Bei in a wreck, it also completely pushed Chu Qiao past her physical limit. After she relaxed, she immediately fell seriously ill. Having caught a serious cold, she burned up with a high fever, with incessant coughing at night. Despite drinking a seemingly endless amount of medicine, her illness did not take a turn for the better. The doctors came in one after another like a merry-go-round. Even though her doors were always closed, she could still hear Yan Xun harshly scolding the doctors. Yet, each time they met, he was completely calm, as though nothing had happened. Occasionally, he would comfort her, “Don’t worry, it is merely a cold. You will recover after some rest.”
She seemed to have never been this sick in such a long time. In her memory, the only other time was when they were both much younger. Yan Xun had fallen sick, and she went to steal medicine for him. After being caught, she was punished with a serious beating. Unfortunately, the medicine that she had painstakingly stolen was ineffective at curing Yan Xun. Not only that, but in order to save her from the beating, Yan Xun was exposed to the cold again, and started burning up with a high fever in the middle of the night, to the point he started to speak gibberish. It was not feasible to pour cold water directly on him as that would certainly aggravate his condition, so she resorted to using her own body. Running out to the cold, she let herself freeze up before running back to hug him with her frozen body. After an entire night of doing that repeatedly, Yan Xun finally got better. Yet, she had fallen seriously sick. From then on, she had always been bad at handling the cold. Even if she was in front of a fire, her limbs would still feel cold. Yet, the pressure of life and survival, along with the endless fighting and war kept her going. Forcing herself to endure the pain, she had always tolerated her discomfort with mere willpower. It was no surprise that when she finally fell sick, the problems erupted all at once.
Recalling those cautious and painful years, it seemed like they were so far away. The pain and hatred back then was so vivid that they swore they would one day get out of such desperate situations and make sure those who had bullied them would pay the price. Yet, she would miss those years of simplicity, where it seemed as though only the two of them existed in the world. She missed those days when they had no one to rely on but each other.
When Lady Yu came, it was already in the afternoon. The light shone in through the paper windows, creating blotched shadows on the ground. Lady Yu looked the same as usual, with her light eyebrows and dark eyes, her thin neck and sharp chin. Her face was slightly pale as usual. Wearing a white blouse, she entered quietly and merely leaned on the door. Without making a sound, she merely observed.
Seeing her suddenly, Chu Qiao was rather surprised. Grabbing the edge of the bed as support, she sat up. With a hoa.r.s.e voice, she asked, “Lady Yu, when did you come? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lady Yu walked up and smiled. “I just came. I just wanted to pay you a visit.”
“Have a seat, please.”
Lady Yu sat opposite her, and carefully observed Chu Qiao for a while before frowning and asking, “Why did you suddenly fall so sick?” Picking up a robe, Lady Yu draped it over Chu Qiao.
Chu Qiao leaned back on a cushion, and with an unnaturally pale complexion, she smiled. “I guess I was exposed to the cold for a little too long.”
Lady Yu looked at her, heaving a sigh. Gently, she said, “You have always been a stubborn child. At such a young age, have you already gained a chronic illness?”
Lady Yu was only 26 or 27, and that would definitely not be considered old. Yet, her mannerisms always gave people a sense of maturity, and it was as though Chu Qiao was really a child to her.
“It is fine. I just need to rest.”
“That is true. Illness comes like a tsunami, but leaves like a stream. You should rest, and do not think of anything. Thinking too much will damage your health as well.”
Chu Qiao nodded. Suddenly, she was reminded of something. “Lady, have you seen the officers of the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison?”
Lady Yu’s gaze flashed very slightly, before calmly retorting, “Didn’t I just say that you should not think too much? Have you already forgotten?”
Chu Qiao shook her head and replied, “I am just slightly worried.”
“If His Highness was willing to withdraw from Yanming Pa.s.s for you, did you think that he could not forgive a troop like that?”
With all her thoughts being suddenly exposed, Chu Qiao could not help but feel awkward. After sinking into a long silence, she quietly refuted, “I was just worried that they would be brash and rude, and if he got angry from their rudeness…”
Lady Yu smiled and comforted her, “Rest easy. Everyone knows their boundaries.”
Chu Qiao felt relieved. Lifting her head, she asked, “Will you be staying here in Beishuo?”
The abundant sunlight shone into their eyes through the windows. Lightly, Lady Yu replied, “War is about to break out in the East. I will not stay here for too long. Perhaps in just a few days, I will head to Yanming Pa.s.s.”
Chu Qiao turned serious, and inquired “The Xia empire is going to retaliate so soon?”
“His Highness has occupied the entire northwestern region. How could the Xia Empire be willing to just accept defeat? I heard they have already started to gather troops.”
“So quickly? Who will be leading? Zhao Che?”
Lady Yu smiled. “Apart from him, there will not be any other candidates. Meng Tian is old, and that man in Sheng Jin Palace would certainly not trust any other person to lead. He probably even has reservations about sending this son of his out.”
Chu Qiao nodded. Right now, the room was warm, and the smell of the incense began to make Chu Qiao drowsy. She cautioned Lady Yu, “Missy, you have to be careful. Zhao Che will be different from Zhao Qi, and will not be easy for you to handle.”
“Worry not. Daoya will be accompanying me.” Lady Yu smiled. Her eyes looked somewhat cheery as her expression seemed free of worry.
Deep down, Chu Qiao could tell how Lady Yu felt, but she did not say much. “Since Mister Wu will be going as well, it will be a lot more steady.”
“You should go back to resting. I have some matters to attend to. I will take my leave first.”
Chu Qiao nodded, before thanking her, “Lady, about the thing before, thank you very much.”
Lady Yu’s footsteps froze ever so slightly. Turning back, her gaze was calm although it was tinged with cheeriness. “AhChu, you are really an intelligent person.”
Inconvenienced by her sickness, Chu Qiao merely nodded back, sending her off. “Missy, see you later.”
After Lady Yu left, the servants walked in to serve Chu Qiao medicine. Picking up the bowl, she downed the bitter and puckery medicine in one gulp.
Actually, it was not too difficult to guess. Given Yan Xun’s intelligence, how could he not have a solution to every problem he antic.i.p.ated? The only reason he left Lady Yu behind was to ensure that Chu Qiao would stay away from the main battlefield. Yet, in Beishuo, Lady Yu had not actively tried to bring Chu Qiao to Lan City. Later on, she had repeatedly let Chu Qiao do whatever she wanted. In the end, she had been candid with Yan Xun’s plan to invade the Xia Empire. All this made her real intentions clear. Yan Xun had trusted her and a.s.signed her this task. But it was a pity that although Zhong Yu was absolutely loyal, when Yan Bei and Yan Xun’s positions conflicted, her loyalty to Yan Xun would be greatly discounted. This was a point that both she and Yan Xun would understand. As such, even with Yan Bei facing a two-sided war on both the Eastern front and Meiling Pa.s.s, Yan Xun still sent Wu Daoya with Lady Yu. As such, she would not have all the power to herself. Lady Yu probably also understood that, and merely did not bring it out into the open. Perhaps she really did not mind. Compared to power and authority, perhaps she would be happier just by being with Mister Wu.