Chapter 221
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
Chu Qiao could not contain her laughter as she said, “Look at you. How are you like an emperor?”
“Who says that emperors can’t behave like this? You don’t know how much I have suffered. I want to spend a little more money, but those old fellows keep complaining about the drought at the eastern regions and the famine at the western regions. They want me to eat plain vegetables every day. They are all no good. I saved up for this myself. Instead of repaying my grat.i.tude, you’re making fun of me now?”
The skies in Tang were sunny, with no clouds visible. As the sunlight shone on Li Ce’s foxy eyes, it made his look appear even more cunning. Chu Qiao sighed on behalf of the officials and scholars of Tang as she muttered, “It’s their misfortune to have met such an emperor.”
Li Ce shook his head and sighed in reply, “Qiaoqiao, you are ruthless. By leaving just like that, He Xiao and the rest will fight me to the death.”
As He Xiao’s name was mentioned, Chu Qiao was stunned. She thought for a long while before replying, “Li Ce, I’m entrusting the warriors of the Xiuli Army to you.”
“They are all men. Why are you entrusting them to me?”
Chu Qiao ignored his nonsensical remarks as she continued, “I have been thinking to myself these few months. Was it my fault after all? I was too naive, thinking that I would be able to reform this society into a more cultured and organized one. It’s not like the picture that Da Tong painted. I just wanted the poor to be able to afford some food, to abolish slavery, to ensure that the people in power would be able to put rules in place for the people below them, and to ensure that there would be no indiscriminate killings. I know that these reforms would not happen overnight, but someone has to start by taking a small step forward. The results would naturally show. When I first started off, I did not have such n.o.ble aspirations. I only wanted to escape and live a good life. However, I met Yan Xun and heard his stories about Yan Bei. It was then that my heart slowly came back to life. I think that my entry into this world was perhaps of value, and that it was destined. However, my dreams were dashed. I was too overconfident. I thought that I was powerful enough to change a lot of things and protect a lot of people. In the end, I realized that my power was limited. My family, friends… all of them left me. I could not protect them. I caused a lot of people to die in the process.”
Li Ce frowned and wanted to speak out, but was stopped by Chu Qiao. She looked at him as she rambled on with a heavy tone, “Li Ce, I am not a good leader. The warriors of the Xiuli Army have no beliefs. They only believe in me. However, my existence has caused them to be embroiled in crises after crises, in war after war. They bled, they died. I could not give them the organized life that I had promised them. I only saved them once, and I should not have been so selfish as to let them fight alongside me, injuring themselves heavily. Thinking back, if I listened to Yan Xun and disbanded the Xiuli Army, a lot of them would not have died. They would have gotten married and lived happily ever after.” Chu Qiao’s voice started to sound choked. She pouted as her eyes turned slightly red, but managed a smile as she continued, “One does not have to achieve big things in life. Getting married, having children, and living a happy life is also another way of living it. Alas, I realized this too late. They’re dead. They can’t be brought back to life. I can’t wash my hands clean of these bloodstains.”
“Qiaoqiao?” Li Ce frowned as he interrupted in a heavy tone, “All this is not your fault.”
“I have responsibilities that I can’t shirk.” Chu Qiao said in a low voice, “They believed me and followed me, yet I couldn’t protect them. They died one by one, yet I could not give their bodies a proper burial. Do you know? Every night, I hear their cries along with the winds. They yearn to return to their hometown to see their aging parents. They are still so young. Some of them are still 15 or 16-years-old. At that age, they should have been throwing tantrums in front of their parents. However, they died on the icy plains for me.”
Li Ce’s jovial demeanor had evaporated away by now. He looked at her, worried, as his heart ached.
“Li Ce, please help me and take care of them. If you’re worried about them, you can disband them and task them with errands to run. They can live a good life, get married and have children in your country. I hope that they would not fight on the battlefield again. To a soldier, there is no such thing as a victory there. The victories belong to the generals. The soldiers are only ma.s.sacred and killed.”
Li Ce nodded with great difficulty as he looked at the pale, frail young lady. With a gentle voice, he asked, “What about you? Do you still hate Yan Xun? Will you go back to his side?”
“I don’t hate him anymore,” Chu Qiao shook her head slightly and answered in a tone that was as gentle as the spring winds by the lake. “Actually, all of you do not know this. He’s the one that has suffered the most. I witnessed his resentment and pain, and all the humiliation that he has been through. Onlookers do not understand these things. The resentment in his heart is immeasurable to me. Presently, he has landed in this state. Even if he’s wrong, he has been forced by fate. Everyone has the right to choose his or her own path. That was the path he chose. Although I disapprove, I respect his choice. In this world, who is entirely correct? And who is entirely wrong? We all have our own things to fight for and our boundaries. Although we are unable to remain on the same path, we do not need to be enemies.”
“What about Zhuge Yue? Why don’t you be with him? He has done so much for you. Don’t you love him?”
“Love? Perhaps,” Chu Qiao smiled as she continued, “actually, I don’t really know what is considered real love, but love does not mean that both parties have to stick together all the time. Sometimes, letting go is a form of love too.” Chu Qiao looked up slightly as the wind blew across her forehead. That instant, Li Ce seemingly saw a charismatic flash of light appear in her calm eyes. It was captivating and ever so mesmerizing.
“After all, he’s the Grand Marshal of the Xia army. It’s equal to the nation’s defense minister. How could he be with a person like me?” she mumbled slowly as she continued, “I know that, as long as I am willing, he will give up whatever he has for me. However, Li Ce, is that really good? He has been through so many hardships. He has finally staved off the humiliation that has plagued him all along, getting to where he is today. We are different. Even if his country falls and his family shuns him, he has a place of belonging ultimately. I understand the sense of responsibility he has, choosing between love and freedom. However, if he gives up everything purely for the sake of loving me, following me to the ends of the world, do you really think that he will feel happy? No. He’s a man. A man should have his own desires. When he matures and ages, he will understand all these. In time, he will come to rejoice over the choices that he has made.”
“Furthermore, I am tired already,” Chu Qiao lowered her head, looking at Li Ce with a warm smile. “I have labored for over ten years. I no longer have any more courage to wander down an uncertain path anymore. I’m a woman too. I want some time to myself so I can take a rest.”
“Qiaoqiao,” Li Ce sighed and said helplessly, “will I not be able to stop you? Are you really planning on leaving?”
“Yes,” Chu Qiao answered seriously. “You don’t need to worry about me, I can manage on my own. In this world, it’s not true that only the royal n.o.bles can live a good life. I will be an ordinary civilian, without any burdens or responsibilities. I will live a lot of carefree days, being able to do whatever I want. I can go wherever I want as well. I have desired this life for many years.”
“Will you come back? To visit me?”
“Of course,” Chu Qiao laughed and added, “you’re my most important friend.”
Li Ce reached out his hand and messed up her hair as he spoke bitterly, “You’ve hurt my feelings.”
Chu Qiao stood up and walked to Li Ce’s side, as he stood up too. She reached out her arms and hugged him as she said gently, “Li Ce, I’m leaving. The situation in West Meng is becoming increasingly chaotic. You must take care. Don’t make me worry about you.”
Li Ce felt frustrated inside, but put up a happy front as he said, “What will happen to me? I am the emperor of Tang. Who can do anything to me? In addition, I’m so handsome and talented. The only person that dares to bully me is you.”
Chu Qiao snickered subconsciously. “All right, you’re handsome and talented. Even Leonardo will jump off a building in shame when he sees you.”
“Who’s Leonardo? What a strange name. Is he a foreigner?” Li Ce frowned and asked.
Chu Qiao laughed as she replied, “It’s a foreigner. He’s incredibly handsome.”
“How rude of you to compare me to a foreigner.”
Chu Qiao laughed out loud again. “It’s getting dark. I’m leaving.” Chu Qiao did not ride on her horse, choosing to rent a horse carriage along with Meixiang.
Li Ce stood under the sycamore tree, all smiles. He was wearing a red robe. From afar, he really appeared like how he described himself—handsome and talented.
“Qiaoqiao, take care. If you’re not married before you’re 30, you can always come back to find me.”
Chu Qiao got onto the horse carriage, opened the curtains, waved to him and said, “Thanks to you, I will make sure I get married by 30.” As the horse carriage wandered into the distance, the green curtains finally sealed shut. Slowly, its shadow disappeared into the end of the street.
“Your Majesty, do we need to send people to protect Miss Chu?” Sun Di thought for a long while before asking.
“No need,” Li Ce shook his head and turned back to walk towards the city gates.
Everyone has the right to choose his or her life. Qiaoqiao, go ahead and follow your instincts.
The curtains of the tent were opened, causing the rays of sunlight and the aroma of meat to drift inside. Jingjing frowned as she tossed and turned, opening her eyes slowly. Evidently, she had not woken up fully. The breeze at dawn brought along a refreshing scent with it, dispersing the smell of the medicinal herbs in the tent.
Chu Qiao did not look up as she placed one hand on her forehead while holding a black chess piece in between the second and third fingers of her other hand. She knocked it repeatedly against the jade chess board as it let out crisp sounds in rhythm, showcasing her pent-up frustrations. She acted as if nothing had happened. The victory was there for the taking as her opponent had made many wrong, fatal moves, but she stalled there, unable to make her next move.
“Miss, everyone’s ready,” Meixiang stood at the entrance, saying as she laughed.
Chu Qiao frowned as Meixiang’s voice echoed in the air. For a long time, she did not respond. As Meixiang was about to repeat her words, Chu Qiao flipped the chess board, turned around, and declared in a low voice, “Tell everyone that from today onwards, we will journey day and night, non-stop. Prepare yourselves.” Chu Qiao and her entourage had departed Xuefu City yesterday. Presently, they were on the way to Tang Jing.
In the blink of an eye, two years had pa.s.sed. On the day that they left Tang Jing, Du Pingan and her sister, Du Jingjing, had caught up with them. Left with no choice, she allowed the two of them to follow her. Because of the children that were following her, Chu Qiao abandoned her hopes of wandering around like a nomad. She settled down in a small, quiet city in the southern regions of Tang instead. The climate was warm; life was laid-back and peaceful. As the place was situated near Meishan, where the Tang Empire’s imperial mausoleum was located, there was little crime.
This place was the home of Tang’s famous scholar, Shen Mobai. His ancestors resided here as well. Young scholars who were about to take their exams often pa.s.sed by this place to visit Mister Shen, touring this small city while on their journeys. As time pa.s.sed, this city came to be known as Xuefu City.