We were two people who"d worked so hard for that moment. To reach the point where we were not only comfortable with each other but with ourselves.
After all, you can"t love someone else if you don"t even love yourself.
He ducked his head and pressed his lips to my neck. I grabbed the back of his neck and urged him toward my lips. He was more than happy to oblige.
I felt like my body and soul was on fire-I was burning for him.
I"d never felt that way before-so completely and utterly consumed, in control and out of control all at the same time.
I wanted more. So much more.
"Liam," I pleaded against his mouth, "I need-"
"What do you need? Tell me," he panted, struggling for breath as much as I was.
"You. Just you."
He kissed me again. "You have me."
"No," I took his face in my hands so he had to look into my eyes. "I...I..." I didn"t know how to say it. I had no experience in the s.e.x department. How could I? But he didn"t know that. Heat flooded my cheeks, and I forgot how to breathe for a moment.
"Ari?" he prompted.
"I-want-you-to-make-love-to-me." I slurred the words together like that would somehow make them easier to say. I squished my eyes closed, embarra.s.sment flooding me. I couldn"t believe I had said those words out loud. I"d sounded completely ridiculous and cheesy. But how was I supposed to go about that sort of thing? Was I not supposed to say anything? Did I just start taking off my clothes? Or his clothes? Or- "Ari, look at me," he pleaded, but I wouldn"t open my eyes.
I felt his hands come to rest on either side of my head in the sand, and his weight was eased slightly from my body. I missed the warm coc.o.o.n he provided, but I still wouldn"t look at him. I didn"t want to see him laugh at me, or worse, look at me with pity.
I felt him lift one hand, and he brushed his fingers against the curve of my cheek.
"Ari," he whispered my name, trying to coax me out of the sh.e.l.l I"d crawled into.
My whole body burned with the flames of embarra.s.sment. I couldn"t believe I"d said that. His fingers disappeared, replaced by his lips and his teeth making their way down my neck and over my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I gasped and my eyes flew open.
"Ah, there you are." He grinned, moving back up into my line of sight. "Don"t be nervous." He cupped my cheek. "It"s okay."
I swallowed thickly. I didn"t know what to do, or say. I"d become frozen.
Liam rolled off of me and helped me up.
"W-What are we doing?" I stuttered, suddenly finding my voice, although it came out timid sounding.
"Going back to the room." He winked.
My stomach flip-flopped and my heart sped up. I was an excited and nervous mess. Maybe that was how it was supposed to feel before the first time you had s.e.x. I wouldn"t know, and it wasn"t like I"d had anyone to ask.
All of it was new to me, but I wasn"t scared. I wanted it. I was ready.
Liam led me all the way back to our room, not once letting go of my hand, and stopped along the way to kiss me or whisper in my ear.
By the time we reached our room, I felt lightheaded and needy.
Liam opened the door into the suite and pushed me against it when it closed. His mouth claimed mine, and he lifted my legs to wrap around his waist. My hands fisted into the hair on the back of his head, and my chest pressed into his in a desperate need to get impossibly closer to him.
His fingers tightened on my legs as he carried me to the bedroom and reached down to yank the sheets back on the made-up bed. He laid me down gently and my hair fanned around me. I swallowed thickly as I stared up at him.
I didn"t know you could feel so scared but so safe all at the same time.
He spread my legs, his fingers lingering on the bare skin of my thighs.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
I nodded. "I am."
He covered my body once more.
My heart thundered in my ears, louder than the roar of the ocean, blocking out all of my racing thoughts.
My mouth parted in a gasp when I felt my bikini top give way. Liam pulled the small piece of fabric away from my body and tossed it over his shoulder. Almost immediately his mouth was on my breast and my back arched off the bed, my nails digging into his back.
I"d never experienced such an intense pleasure and it was only beginning.
"Liam," I panted his name, my voice soft and broken sounding.
He looked up at me with those icy-blue eyes-that had once been filled with such hatred-with love shining brightly. A tiny smirk cast over his lips and then disappeared as he kissed his way down my stomach. His fingers hooked into my bikini bottoms and then they too disappeared. I was laid completely bare for him, and while I still felt nervous, I"d also never felt more beautiful.
With my pulse racing, I reached out, skimming my fingers over the hard lines of his chest and abs.
We were both quiet-it was like each of us was trying to remember every tiny detail of the moment. I"d hoped it was as special to him as it was me.
"Breathe, Ari," he coaxed, and I hadn"t even realized I"d stopped.
I inhaled a lungful of air and let it out slowly. His lips twitched into a smile as he backed off the bed. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as I watched him tug down his board shorts.
And then I stared, and stared some more, before my eyes jumped to the ceiling and my whole body flushed with heat.
His low chuckle filled the room and after a moment, his weight lingered above me once more. His thumb and forefinger grasped my chin, and he tugged my head down so I was forced to look at him.
"Don"t get shy on me." His fingers ghosted over my lips, tracing the shape of them.
I inhaled a shaky breath. "I-I"m a virgin."
Oh G.o.d. I can"t believe those words just came out of my mouth. I hadn"t meant to tell him. I mean, he would"ve figured it out, but- "Are you serious?" He looked at me wide-eyed, holding his weight above me with his hands on either side of my head.
I nodded, unable to read his facial expressions.
He licked his lips, looking at me with a newfound desire. When his eyes locked on mine again, he said, "I haven"t had s.e.x since...well, since..."
I gasped. "What?"
"Sleeping around doesn"t appeal to me. I know most people would a.s.sume otherwise, but that"s not me. I need to feel something, and I do. With you."
I leaned up, pressing my lips softly to his. His tongue parted my lips, and I shivered, my stomach clenching in antic.i.p.ation.
My hands wound around his neck, pressing against his smooth and warm skin.
His chest pressed against mine, his mouth devouring me.
My pants filled the air as his hands roamed my body, lower, lower, lower.
"Ari?" he questioned.
"Please," I begged, "oh G.o.d, please touch me."
He buried his head in the crook of my neck at the same time I felt his fingers slide inside. I gasped and he stifled the sound with his mouth. My hips moved against his fingers, rocking slowly in a rhythm all their own.
My brain fogged over, all thoughts disappearing except for the pleasure I felt. I closed my eyes and whimpered. I"d never felt anything like that, and when I"d imagined s.e.x it had never felt like that.
"Ari," Liam whispered my name over and over again.
I cried out, lights bursting behind my eyes.
Liam quieted my cries with whispered endearments and his soft kisses. When I opened my eyes, the world around me seemed brighter-more clear.
"Are you ready?" His fingers slipped from me and he grasped my hips in both hands. I swallowed thickly and nodded. "I"m not going to lie to you, this is going to hurt, but it"ll be okay. Just look at me, right at me." He nodded, waiting for me to make eye contact with him. "Look at me," he whispered again in a soft moan. "Listen to my voice. Relax."
I took a deep breath, locking my eyes on his as he rolled on a condom.
"It"s going to be okay," he a.s.sured me.
I nodded and then I felt him ease inside me. My eyes closed and he stopped.
"Look at me," he pleaded. "Remember, you have to look at me. I need to know you"re okay, and I can"t do that if your eyes are closed."
I blinked one eye open and then the other. His lips lifted in a half-smile.
"I love you," he told me, and then in one harsh thrust forward he was all the way inside.
I let out a small scream, and a tear leaked from the corner of my eye.
He hadn"t been lying. It hurt-even worse than I expected. He didn"t move for a moment, giving me a chance to recover and find my breath. I was thankful for that-he was so patient with me.
When my heart had slowed a bit and I could breathe again, I nodded. "I"m okay." He looked at me doubtfully. "I am," I a.s.sured him.
He lowered, and my b.r.e.a.s.t.s pushed up against his chest with every breath I took.
"You"re perfect," he murmured, taking one of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s in his hand.
He began to move, slowly at first. The pain returned momentarily, but then it was gone, and I was left only with a feeling of fullness.
"Liam," I panted, my palms damp with sweat against his chest. "Oh G.o.d." I began to move my hips in time with his.
His hand skimmed my thigh in a feather-light touch, and I shivered from the sensation.
The air between us was heavy and charged with emotion. The room could have burned down around us and I would have never noticed.
His hands found mine, and our fingers clasped together.
His mouth swallowed my gasps, and I quieted his groans.
I"d been worried about s.e.x-about my inexperience-but then, I had no fears. I belonged there in his arms. Maybe even as f.u.c.ked up as my life had been it was all leading me to that moment. To him.
With a cry, I came again and Liam wasn"t far behind me.
Afterwards, he pulled out of me and disposed of the condom before crawling back into bed beside me. We both lay on our backs, but my body curled against his. His fingers rubbed soothing circles over the skin of my arm, and I traced random patterns on his chest.
A tear leaked from my eye and landed in the crook of his arm where my head was cradled.
"Ari?" His voice was laced with worry. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Why are you crying?"
More tears came, and maybe it was because of what just happened, or maybe it was time, but before I could come to my senses, I blurted, "I was kidnapped."
Liam.
Silence filled the room.
I couldn"t possibly have heard her right.
She rolled out of my arms, curling into a ball. Her whole body shook with the force of her tears.
"Ari?" I prompted, touching her arm.
She flinched away from my touch, and I f.u.c.king hated that. I didn"t want her to shy away from me.
"Ari, what did you say?"
"Please don"t make me say it again," she mumbled, her face pressed into the sheets.
I climbed off the bed and pulled on a pair of boxers before pacing the length of the room. I tugged at the messy strands of my hair, trying to process what she said.
"You...you were kidnapped?" I questioned, stopping in front of her. "Ari, please f.u.c.king look at me. I"m going crazy."
She turned her head away from the mattress and nodded once. Her eyes looked so lost but so f.u.c.king desperate for me to understand.