"You know you"re always welcome home," my mom said. "We miss you. We all miss you."
"Do you think you"ll come home for Christmas and New Year"s?" Dean asked. "The New Year"s Eve party isn"t the same without you."
"I"m sure you guys have been fine without me," I laughed and took a sip of my water. "But yeah, I might come. It depends on what Ari wants to do."
"Ari?" My mom perked up at her name. "So does that mean you guys are together now?"
I ducked my head, chuckling under my breath. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Is she here in Hawaii then? I thought you said she was coming, but-"
"Yeah, she"s here." I nodded, hoping to get off the topic as quickly as possible. "She would"ve loved to have come to get you guys, but she"s feeling sick."
"Oh no, poor thing." My mom frowned. "Maybe we should bring her some soup or something? Don"t you think?"
"Yeah, maybe," I agreed, rifling through my mind for a change of subject. "So, Dad," I began, "how"s the new alb.u.m going?"
He leaned back in his chair and nodded. "Good, I guess."
"Will you be going on tour?"
"We"re too old to go on tour," he grumbled under his breath, "but we will be. We"re trying to work that so we"re not gone long. The guys don"t want to be away from their kids. Now that everyone is in school full-time it"s hard." He shrugged. "Should have kept up the homeschooling, I guess."
"You can"t beat the real school experience, though," I countered.
"True," he agreed.
"What are we doing after this?" my mom asked.
"I"d like to head back and check on Ari, and then I figured we could go to the beach." I shrugged.
"That sounds good to me," Grace chimed in.
"Yeah, sounds good to me too," Willow added, smiling up at Dean before laying her head on his shoulder.
"I need to get out in the water with the guys," I told them. I didn"t want to, though. All I wanted to do was sit with Ari and hold her-tell her everything would be okay.
"No." My mom shook her head. "I know you, and you"ve probably been training non-stop. You need a break before tomorrow. Take a breather, Liam."
I winced. "I can"t, Mom."
She narrowed her eyes on me, giving me that scary look only moms could do. The one that told you she wasn"t taking no for an answer.
We finished our meal and I couldn"t get the bill paid fast enough. I needed to get back to Ari. I didn"t know why, but I had this ominous feeling that something bad had happened. Maybe that feeling was only because of what she told me, or maybe it was something more. Either way, I knew I wouldn"t get rid of this sense of foreboding until I saw her.
I left everyone in the lobby to check-in and get their room keys while I headed up to my room to see Ari. I"d hoped she was okay. I"d hated leaving her after everything that happened and what she confessed, but I knew she was well-taken-care of with Ollie and Talia.
I slid the keycard in the slot and opened the door.
Talia and Ollie jumped up from the couch as soon as I entered the room. They both wore worried looks, which instantly sent me over the edge.
"What is it?" I asked, looking between the two.
Ollie looked down at Talia, his lips twisting down. I didn"t think I"d ever seen the guy not smile.
"What"s going on?" I demanded, my voice rising in anger.
Ollie gave me a sad look and a half-shrug. "She"s gone."
Ari.
I"d had to get out of there.
When I"d finally emerged from the bathroom, I knew I had to make my escape before Liam got back. I"d changed back into my bikini since it was all I had in his room, and ran past Ollie and Talia who I knew were in the living room.
They"d both called after and Ollie had even chased me down, but I dodged him.
I left the hotel behind and ran.
I"d had no idea where I was going, but anywhere that wasn"t there was good with me.
I ran as far as my feet would carry me and ended up ducking into a small cafe. I took a seat and stayed for as long as I could.
When I left there, I strolled the beach. The sun was blazing hot, and I grew damp with sweat.
I couldn"t believe I told him.
Why did I tell him?
I knew why-keeping the truth from the guy I loved was too painful.
Even still, the burden I"d put on him by knowing the truth was too much. What if he looked at me differently? What if he thought I would never be okay again?
I couldn"t face him-to look into his eyes and have to see pity.
I didn"t want that.
I sunk down into the sand, wishing it would open up and swallow me whole.
Anything so I didn"t have to go back and face him.
I knew I had to, though.
Running away from Blaise was one thing, but running from Liam was something else.
It was late, after dinnertime, when I finally figured out my way back to the hotel.
I trudged through the hotel, my feet like cement blocks beneath my body.
I should have felt lighter by telling Liam, for ridding myself of the secret, but I"d felt worse. I"d already put him in enough danger by being around him, and by telling him the truth? That was a f.u.c.king death sentence for him if Blaise ever caught up to me.
I didn"t have my key to the room, so I was forced to knock and hope he was there to answer.
Almost immediately the door swung open.
Liam"s face relaxed with relief and he pulled me into one of the tightest hugs I"d ever experienced.
"Are you hurt?" he asked me, letting go enough so that he could look me over.
"I"m fine." The words came out stiff. Cutting.
I was the cold one.
"Ari?" He sounded wounded.
"I want to go to bed." I couldn"t meet his eyes and my tone was bland, monotone.
"Ari, talk to me please. You can"t shut me out after telling me something like that," he shouted the words, but not in anger. He sounded desperate.
Tears pooled in my eyes. "I shouldn"t have told you."
He glowered at me. "f.u.c.k yes you should have! You should have told me a long f.u.c.king time ago! We"re going to the police right now!"
He grabbed my arm, but I skittered out of his hold. "Don"t you think I would"ve done that if it would have done any good?" I countered. "Blaise is above the police. He"ll throw some money around and make it look like I"m lying, and then I"ll be the one to end up in trouble for defamation of character. You can"t touch him."
"I have money; we can fight him-"
I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and let out a humorless laugh. "Money won"t solve this."
"So money can solve his problems, but not ours?" Liam shouted, gesticulating wildly.
"It"s not our problem. It"s mine. Stay out of this, Liam. I mean it," I said with as much force as I could. "You don"t understand what he"s capable of."
How could he? He hadn"t seen everything I had.
"He"ll do whatever it takes to shut you up, do you understand me?" I pointed a finger at him like he was an unruly child I was scolding.
"What did he do to you?" Liam whispered, his shoulders sagging as all the fight seemed to leave him.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "What didn"t he do?" My voice was as soft as his. "I don"t want to hurt you, Liam. I really don"t, because I love you, but I don"t know if I can do this." My chin trembled as I inhaled a hiccup of air. "You and me, this isn"t good for either of us. I"m too f.u.c.ked up, and I can"t drag all this darkness into your life, not when you"re finally happy."
His face fell, and in a broken voice, he whispered, "I"m only happy because of you."
"Please, don"t say that," I begged, shaking my head back and forth.
"It"s the truth."
I backed in the direction of my room. "When we get back to California I"m packing my bags, and I"m leav-"
"No," he spat the word, glaring at me, "you can"t leave because of this. This doesn"t change anything."
"It changes everything." I couldn"t continue putting his life in danger. I loved him too much to stay. How could he not see that?
"Ari, please," he said brokenly, starting toward me.
I held my hands up. "No," I snapped harshly. "No, Liam. Focus on your compet.i.tion tomorrow. That"s more important."
"f.u.c.k the compet.i.tion." He slashed his hands through the air. "You"re more important."
"I"m not," I cried brokenly. "Trust me, I"m not. I should"ve done this a long time ago before things got complicated."
"Complicated?" he spat, latching onto the words. "What"s complicated about us loving each other?"
I tore at my hair. I was never going to be able to make him understand. "This isn"t easy for me! Can"t you see that?" My hands fisted at my sides in frustration. "But it"s what has to be done."
"No. No, it"s not." He shook his head and started for me.
I tried to run, but I wasn"t quick enough. He caught me around the waist and before I could make a sound he was kissing me. His lips moved against mine in a desperate dance. One I wouldn"t return. I hung like a limp noodle in his arms and when he pulled away, he whispered my name. "Ari?"
"This is over, Liam. I"m sorry."
He let me go, a look of complete and utter despair on his face. He looked broken, and it pained me that I was the one to do that to him.
"I"m sorry," I said one last time, and closed the door to my room.
He would never understand how true those words were. I"d never meant to hurt him. I"d never meant to get this close. And I"d certainly never meant to fall in love with him.
But I had.
And now I"d ruined everything.
Liam wouldn"t speak to me. I didn"t blame him. How could I?
The next morning was filled with so many awkward silences that I lost count.
I bowed out of breakfast by pretending I was sick. It seemed to work.
I wanted to join everyone at the compet.i.tion, I wanted to be there cheering Liam on. But it wasn"t my place. Not after everything I said. And that broke my heart even more.
Locked in my room, I could hear the others excited chatter in the living room.