This was a dreadful sight to me, especially when, going down to the sh.o.r.e, I could see the marks of horror which the dismal work they had been about had left behind it, viz. the blood, the bones, and part of the flesh of human bodies, eaten and devoured by those wretches with merriment and sport. I was so filled with indignation at the sight, that I began now to premeditate the destruction of the next that I saw there, let them be who or how many soever.
It seemed evident to me, that the visits which they thus made to this island were not very frequent; for it was above fifteen months before any more of them came on sh.o.r.e there again; that is to say, I never saw them, or any footsteps or signals of them, in all that time; for as to the rainy seasons, then they are sure not to come abroad, at least not so far; yet all this while I lived uncomfortably, by reason of the constant apprehensions I was in of their coming upon me by surprise; from whence I observe, that the expectation of evil is more bitter than the suffering, especially if there is no room to shake off that expectation or those apprehensions.
During all this time, I was in the murdering humour; and took up most of my hours, which should have been better employed, in contriving how to circ.u.mvent and fall upon them the very next time I should see them; especially if they should he divided, as they were the last time, into two parties; nor did I consider at all, that if I killed one party, suppose ten or a dozen, I was still the next day, or week, or mouth, to kill another, and so another, even _ad infinitum_, till I should be at length no less a murderer than they were in being men-eaters, and perhaps much mere so.
I spent my days now in great perplexity and anxiety of mind, expecting that I should one day or other fall into the hands of those merciless creatures; if I did at any time venture abroad, it was not without looking round me with the greatest care and caution imaginable; and now I found, to my great comfort, how happy it was that I had provided a tame flock or herd of goats; for I durst not, upon any account, fire my gun especially near that side of the island, where they usually came, lest I should alarm the savages; and if they had fled from me now, I was sure to have them come back again, with perhaps two or three hundred canoes with them in a few days, and then I knew what to expect.
However, I wore out a year and three months more before I ever saw any more of the savages, and then I found them again, as I shall soon observe. It is true, they might have been there once or twice, but either they made no stay, or, at least, I did not hear them; but in the month of May, as near as I could calculate, and in my four-and-twentieth year, I had a very strange encounter with them, of which in its place.
The perturbation of my mind, during this fifteen or sixteen months interval, was very great; I slept unquiet, dreamed always frightful dreams, and often started out of my sleep in the night; in the day great troubles overwhelmed my mind; in the night I dreamed often of killing the savages, and the reasons why I might justify the doing of it. But to wave all this for awhile, it was in the middle of May, on the sixteenth day, I think, as well as my poor wooden calendar would reckon, for I marked all upon, the post still; I say, it was on the sixteenth of May that it blew a great storm of wind all day, with a great deal of lightning and thunder, and a very foul night was after it: I know not what was the particular occasion of it; but as I was reading in the Bible, and taken up with serious thoughts about my present condition, I was surprised with the noise of a gun, as I thought, fired at sea.
This was, to be sure, a surprise of a quite different nature from any I had met with before; for the notions this put into my thoughts were quite of another kind: I started up in the greatest haste imaginable; and in a trice clapped up my ladder to the middle place of the rock, and pulled it after me, and mounting it the second time, got to the top of the hill; that very moment a flash of fire bade me listen for a second gun, which accordingly in about half a moment I heard, and by the sound knew that it was from that part of the sea where I was driven out with the current in my boat.
I immediately considered that this must be some ship in distress, and that they had some comrade, or some other ship in company, and fired these guns for signals of distress, and to obtain help. I had this presence of mind at that minute as to think, that though I could not help them, it may be they might help me; so I brought together all the dry wood I could get at hand, and making a good handsome pile, I set it on fire upon the hill; the wood was dry, and blazed freely, and though the wind blew very hard, yet it burnt fairly out, so that I was certain, if there was any such thing as a ship, they must need see it, and no doubt they did; for as soon as ever my fire blazed up, I heard another gun, and after that several others, all from the same quarter. I plied my fire all night long, till day broke; and when it was broad day, and the air cleared up, I saw something at a great distance at sea, full east of the island, whether a sail, or an hull, I could not distinguish, no not with my gla.s.ses, the distance was so great, and the weather still something hazy also; at least it was so out at sea.
I looked frequently at it all that day, and soon perceived that it did not move; so I presently concluded that it was a ship at anchor; and being eager, you may be sure, to be satisfied, I took my gun in my hand, and ran towards the south-east side of the island, to the rocks, where I had been formerly carried away with the current; and getting up there, the weather by this time being perfectly clear, I could plainly see, to my great sorrow, the wreck of a ship cast away in the night upon those concealed rocks which I found when I was out in my boat; and which rocks, as they checked the violence of the stream, and made a kind of counter-stream, or eddy, were the occasion of my recovering then from the most desperate hopeless condition that ever I had been in all my life.
Thus, what is one man"s safety is another man"s destruction; for it seems these men, whoever they were, being out of their knowledge, and the rocks being wholly under water, had been driven upon them in the night, the wind blowing hard at E. and E.N.E. Had they seen the island, as I must necessarily suppose they did not, they must, as I thought, have endeavoured to have saved themselves on sh.o.r.e by the help of their boat; but the firing of their guns for help, especially when they saw, as I imagined, my fire, filled me with many thoughts: first, I imagined, that, upon seeing my light, they might have put themselves into their boat, and have endeavoured to make the sh.o.r.e; but that the sea going very high, they might have been cast away; other times I imagined, that they might have lost their boat before, as might be the case many ways; as particularly, by the breaking of the sea upon their ship, which many times obliges men to stave, or take in pieces their boat; and sometimes to throw it overboard with their own hands; other times I imagined, they had some other ship or ships in company, who, upon the signals of distress they had made, had taken them up, and carried them off: other whiles I fancied they were all gone off to sea in their boat, and being hurried away by the current that I had been formerly in, were carried out into the great ocean, where there was nothing but misery and perishing; and that perhaps they might by this time think of starving, and of being in a condition to eat one another.
All these were but conjectures at best, so, in the condition I was in, I could do no more than look upon the misery of the poor men, and pity them; which had still this good effect on my side, that it gave me more and more cause to give thanks to G.o.d, who had so happily and comfortably provided for me in my desolate condition; and that of two ships"
companies, who were now cast away upon this part of the world, not one life should be spared but mine. I learnt here again to observe, that it is very rare that the providence of G.o.d casts us into any condition of life so low, or any misery so great, but we may see something or other to be thankful for, and may see others in worse circ.u.mstances than our own.
Such certainly was the case of these men, of whom I could not so much as see room to suppose any of them were saved; nothing could make it rational, so much as to wish or expect that they did not all perish there, except the possibility only of their being taken up by another ship in company: and this was but mere possibility indeed; for I saw not the least signal or appearance of any such thing.
I cannot explain, by any possible energy of words, what a strange longing, or hankering of desire, I felt in my soul upon this sight; breaking out sometimes thus: "O that there had been but one or two, nay, but one soul saved out of the ship, to have escaped to me, that I might but have had one companion, one fellow-creature to have spoken to me, and to have conversed with!" In all the time of my solitary life, I never felt so earnest, so strong a desire after the society of my fellow-creatures, or so deep a regret at want of it.
There are some secret moving springs in the affections, which, when they are set a going by some object in view, or be it some object though not in view, yet rendered present to the mind by the power of imagination, that motion carries out the soul by its impetuosity to such violent eager embracings of the object, that the absence of it is insupportable.
Such were these earnest wishings, "That but one man had been saved! O that it had been but one!" I believe I repeated the words, "O that it had been but one!" a thousand times; and my desires were so moved by it, that when I spoke the words, my hands would clinch together, and my fingers press the palms of my hands, that if I had had any soft thing in my hand, it would have crushed it involuntarily; and my teeth in my head would strike together, and set against one another so strong, that for some time I could not part them again.
Let the naturalists explain these things, and the reason and manner of them: all I can say of them is, to describe the fact, which was ever surprising to me when I found it, though I knew not from what it should proceed; it was doubtless the effect of ardent wishes, and of strong ideas formed in my mind, realizing the comfort which the conversation of one of my fellow-christians would have been to me.
But it was not to be; either their fate, or mine, or both, forbad it; for till the last year of my being on this island, I never knew whether any were saved out of that ship, or no; and had only the affliction some days after to see the corpse of a drowned boy come on sh.o.r.e, at the end of the island which was next the shipwreck: he had on no clothes but a seaman"s waistcoat, a pair of open kneed linen drawers, and a blue linen shirt; but nothing to direct me so much as to guess what nation he was of: he had nothing in his pocket but two pieces of eight, and a tobacco-pipe; the last was to me of ten times more value than the first.
It was now calm, and I had a great mind to venture out in my boat to this wreck, not doubting but I might find something on board that might be useful to me; but that did not altogether press me so much, as the possibility that there might be yet some living creature on board, whose life I might not only save, but might, by saving that life, comfort my own to the last degree: and this thought clung so to my heart, that I could not be quiet night nor day, but I must venture out in my boat on board this wreck; and committing the rest to G.o.d"s providence, I thought the impression was so strong upon my mind, that it could not be resisted, that it must come from some invisible direction, and that I should be wanting to myself if I did not go.
Under the power of this impression, I hastened back to my castle, prepared every thing for my voyage, took a quant.i.ty of bread, a great pot for fresh water, a compa.s.s to steer by, a bottle of rum, (for I had still a great deal of that left) a basket full of raisins: and thus loading myself with every thing necessary, I went down to my boat, got the water out of her, and got her afloat, loaded all my cargo in her, and then went home again for more: my second cargo was a great bag full of rice, the umbrella to set up over my head for shade, another large pot full of lush water, and about two dozen of my small loaves, or barley-cakes, more than before, with a bottle of goat"s milk, and a cheese: all which, with great labour and sweat, I brought to my boat; and praying to G.o.d to direct my voyage, I put out, and rowing or paddling the canoe along the sh.o.r.e, I came at last to the utmost point of the island, on that side, viz. N.E. And now I was to launch out into the ocean, and either to venture, or not to venture; I looked on the rapid currents which ran constantly on both sides of the island, at a distance, and which were very terrible to me, from the remembrance of the hazard I had been in before, and my heart began to fail me; for I foresaw, that if I was driven into either of those currents, I should be carried a vast way out to sea and perhaps out of my reach, or sight of the island again; and that then, as my boat was but small, if any little gale of wind should rise, I should be inevitably lost.
These thoughts so oppressed my mind, that I began to give over my enterprise, and having haled my boat into a little creek on the sh.o.r.e, I stepped out, and sat me down upon a little spot of rising ground, very pensive and anxious, between fear and desire, about my voyage; when, as I was musing, I could perceive that the tide was turned, and the flood came on, upon which my going was for so many hours impracticable: upon this it presently occurred to me, that I should go up to the highest piece of ground I could find, and observe, if I could, how the sets of the tide or currents lay, when the flood came in, that I might judge whether, if I was driven one way out, I might not expect to be driven another way home, with the same rapidness of the currents. This thought was no sooner in my head, but I cast my eye upon a little hill which sufficiently overlooked the sea both ways, and from whence I had a clear view of the currents, or sets of the tide, and which way I was to guide myself in my return: here I found, that as the current of the ebb set out close by the south point of the island, so the current of the flood set in close by the sh.o.r.e of the north side; and that I had nothing to do but to keep to the north of the island in my return, and I should do well enough.
Encouraged with this observation, I resolved the next morning to set out with the first of the tide; and reposing myself for that night in the canoe, under the great watch-coat I mentioned, I launched out. I made first a little out to sea full north, till I began to feel the benefit of the current, which sat eastward, and which carried me at a great rate, and yet did not so hurry me as the southern side current had done before, and so as to take from me all government of the boat; but having a strong steerage with my paddle, I went, I say, at a great rate, directly for the wreck, and in less than two hours I came up to it.
It was a dismal sight to took at: the ship, which by its building was Spanish, stuck fast, jambed in between two rocks; all the stern and quarter of her was beaten to pieces with the sea; and as her forecastle, which stuck in the rocks, had run on with great violence, her main-mast and fore-mast were brought by the board, that is to say, broken short off, but her boltsprit was sound, and the head and bow appeared firm.
When I came close to her, a dog appeared upon her, which, seeing me coming, yelped and cried, and as soon as I called him, jumped into the sea to come to me: and I took him into the boat, but found him almost dead for hunger and thirst: I gave him a cake of my bread, and he ate like a ravenous wolf that had been starving a fortnight in the snow: I then gave the poor creature some fresh water, with which, if I would have let him, he would have burst himself.
After this I went on board. The first sight I met with was two men drowned in the cook-room, or forecastle of the ship, with their arms fast about one another. I concluded, as is indeed probable, that when the ship struck, it being in a storm, the sea broke so high, and so continually over her, that the men were not able to bear it, and were strangled with the constant rushing in of the water, as much as if they had been under water. Besides the dog, there was nothing left in the ship that had life, nor any goods that I could see, but what were spoiled by the water: there were some casks of liquor, whether wine or brandy I knew not, which lay lower in the hold, and which, the water being ebbed out, I could see; but they were too big to meddle with: I saw several chests, which I believed belonged to some of the seamen, and I got two of them into the boat without examining what was in them.
Had the stern of the ship been fixed, and the fore part broken off, I am persuaded I might have made a good voyage; for by what I found in these two chests, I had room to suppose the ship had a great deal of wealth on board; and if I may guess by the course she steered, she must have been bound from the Buenos Ayres, or the Rio de la Plata, in the south part of America, beyond the Brasils, to the Havanna, in the Gulf of Mexico, and so perhaps to Spain: she had, no doubt, a great treasure in her, but of no use at that time to any body; and what became of the rest of her people I then knew not.
I found, besides these chests, a little cask full of liquor, of about twenty gallons, which I got into my boat with much difficulty. There were several muskets in a cabin, and a great powder-horn, with about four pounds of powder in it: as for the muskets, I had no occasion for them, so I left them, but took the powder-horn. I took a fire-shovel and tongs, which I wanted extremely; as also two little bra.s.s kettles, a copper pot to make chocolate, and a gridiron; and with this cargo, and the dog, I came away, the tide beginning to make home again; and the same evening, about an hour within night, I reached the island again, weary and fatigued to the last degree.
I reposed that night in the boat, and in the morning I resolved to harbour what I had gotten in my new cave, not to carry it home to my castle. After refreshing myself, I got all my cargo on sh.o.r.e, and began to examine the particulars: the cask of liquor I found to be a kind of rum, but not such as we had at the Brasils; and, in a word, not at all good; but when I came to open the chests, I found several things which I wanted: for example, I found in one a fine case of bottles, of an extraordinary kind, and filled with cordial waters, fine, and very good; the bottles held about three pints each, and were tipped with silver: I found two pots of very good succades, or sweetmeats, so fastened also on the top, that the salt water had not hurt them; and two more of the same, which the water had spoiled: I found some very good shirts, which were very welcome to me, and about a dozen and a half of white linen handkerchiefs and coloured neckcloths; the former were also very welcome, being exceeding refreshing to wipe my face in a hot day.
Besides this, when I came to the till in the chests, I found there three great bags of pieces of eight, which held about eleven hundred pieces in all; and in one of them, wrapt up in a paper, six doubloons of gold, and some small bars or wedges of gold; I suppose they might all weigh near a pound.
The other chest I found had some clothes in it, but of little value; but by the circ.u.mstances, it must have belonged to the gunner"s mate, as there was no powder in it, but about two pounds of glazed powder in the three flasks, kept, I suppose, for charging their fowling-pieces on occasion. Upon the whole, I got very little by this voyage that was of much use to me; for, as to the money, I had no manner of occasion for it; it was to me as the dirt under my feet; and I would have given it all for three or four pair of English shoes and stockings, which were things I greatly wanted, but had not had on my feet now for many years: I had, indeed, got two pair of shoes now, which I took off the feet of the two drowned men whom I saw in the wreck; and I found two pair more in one of the chests, which were very welcome to me; but they were not like our English shoes, either for case or service, being rather what we call pumps than shoes. I found in the seaman"s chest about fifty pieces of eight in royals, but no gold: I suppose this belonged to a poorer man than the other, which seemed to belong to some officer.
Well, however, I lugged the money home to my cave, and laid it up, as I had done that before, which I brought from our own ship; but it was great pity, as I said, that the other part of the ship had not come to my share, for I am satisfied I might have loaded my canoe several times over with money, which, if I had ever escaped to England, would have lain here safe enough till I might have come again and fetched it.
Having now brought all my things on sh.o.r.e, and secured them, I went back to my boat, and rowed or paddled her along the sh.o.r.e to her old harbour, where I laid her up, and made the best of my way to my old habitation, where I found every thing safe and quiet; so I began to repose myself, live after my old fashion, and take care of my family affairs; and for awhile I lived easy enough; only that I was more vigilant than I used to be, looked out oftener, and did not go abroad so much; and if at any time I did stir with any freedom, it was always to the east part of the island, where I was pretty well satisfied the savages never came, and where I could go without so many precautions, and such a load of arms and ammunition as I always carried with me, if I went the other way.
I lived in this condition near two years more; but my unlucky head, that was always to let me know it was born to make my body miserable, was all these two years filled with projects and designs, how, if it were possible, I might get away from this island; for sometimes I was for making another voyage to the wreck, though my reason told me, that there was nothing left there worth the hazard of my voyage; sometimes for a ramble one way, sometimes another; and I believe verity, if I had had the boat that I went from Sallee in, I should have ventured to sea, bound any where, I knew not whither.
I have been, in all my circ.u.mstances, a memento to those who are touched with that general plague of mankind, whence, for aught I know, one half of their miseries flow; I mean, that of not being satisfied with the station wherein G.o.d and nature hath placed them; for, not to look back upon my primitive condition, and the excellent advice of my father, the opposition to which was, as I may call it, my original sin, my subsequent mistakes of the same kind have been the means of my coming into this miserable condition; for had that Providence, which so happily had seated me at the Brasils as a planter, blessed me with confined desires, and could I have been contented to have gone on gradually, I might have been by this time, I mean in the time of my being on this island, one of the most considerable planters in the Brasils; nay, I am persuaded, that by the improvements I had made in that little time I lived there, and the increase I should probably have made if I had stayed, I might have been worth a hundred thousand moidores; and what business had I to leave a settled fortune, well-stocked plantation, improving and increasing, to turn supercargo to Guinea, to fetch Negroes, when patience and time would have so increased our stock at home, that we could have bought them at our own doors, from those whose business it was to fetch them? And though it had cost us something more, yet the difference of that price was by no means worth saving at so great a hazard.
But as this is ordinarily the fate of young heads, so reflection upon the folly of it is as ordinarily the exercise of more years, or of the dear-bought experience of time; and so it was with me now; and yet, so deep had the mistake taken root in my temper, that I could not satisfy myself in my station, but was continually poring upon the means and possibility of my escape from this place; and that I may, with the greater pleasure to the reader, bring on the remaining part of my story, it may not be improper to give some account of my first conceptions on the subject of this foolish scheme for my escape; and how, and upon what foundation, I acted.
I am now to be supposed to be retired into my castle, after my late voyage to the wreck, my frigate laid up, and secured under water as usual, and my condition restored to what it was before: I had more wealth, indeed, than I had before, but was not at all the richer; for I had no more use for it than the Indians of Peru had before the Spaniards came thither.
It was one of the nights in the rainy season in March, the four-and-twentieth year of my first setting foot in this island of solitariness, I was lying in my bed or hammock, awake, and very well in health, had no pain, no distemper, no uneasiness of body, no, nor any uneasiness of mind more than ordinary, but could by no means close my eyes, that is, so as to sleep; no, not a wink all night long, otherwise than as follows:
It is as impossible as needless to set down the innumerable crowd of thoughts that whirled through that great thoroughfare of the brain, the memory, in this night"s time: I ran over the whole history of my life in miniature, or by abridgment, as I may call it, to my coming to this island; and also of that part of my life since I came to this island; in my reflections upon the state of my case, since I came on sh.o.r.e on this island; I was comparing the happy posture of my affairs, in the first years of my habitation here, to that course of anxiety, fear, and care, which I had lived in ever since I had seen the print of a foot in the sand; not that I did not believe the savages had frequented the island even all the while, and might have been several hundreds of them at times on the sh.o.r.e there; but as I had never known it, and was incapable of any apprehensions about it, my satisfaction was perfect, though my danger was the same; and I was as happy in not knowing my danger, as if I had never really been exposed to it; this furnished my thoughts with many very profitable reflections, and particularly this one: How infinitely good that Providence is, which has settled in its government of mankind such narrow bounds to his sight and knowledge of things; and though he walks in the midst of so many thousand dangers, the sight of which, if discovered to him, would distract his mind and sink his spirits, he is kept serene and calm, by having the events of things hid from his eyes, and knowing nothing of the dangers which surround him.
After these thoughts had for some time entertained me, I came to reflect seriously upon the real danger I had been in for so many years in this very island; and how I had walked about in the greatest security, and with all possible tranquillity, even perhaps when nothing but a brow on a hill, a great tree, or the casual approach of night, had been between me and the worst kind of destruction, viz. that of falling into the hands of cannibals, and savages, who would have seized on me with the same view, as I did of a goat, or a turtle; and have thought it no more a crime to kill and devour me, than I did of a pigeon, or a curlieu: I would unjustly slander my self, if I should say I was not sincerely thankful to my great Preserver, to whose singular protection I acknowledged, with great humility, that all these unknown deliverances were due; and without which, I must inevitably have fallen into their merciless hands.
When these thoughts were over, my head was for some time taken up in considering the nature of these wretched creatures; I mean, the savages; and how it came to pa.s.s in the world, that the wise governour of all things should give up any of his creatures to such inhumanity; nay, to something so much below, even brutality it self, as to devour its own kind; but as this ended in some (at that time fruitless) speculations, it occurred to me to enquire, what part of the world these wretches lived in; how far off the coast was from whence they came; what they ventured over so far from home for; what kind of boats they had; and why I might not order my self, and my business so, that I might be as able to go over thither, as they were to come to me.
I never so much as troubled my self to consider what I should do with my self, when I came thither; what would become of me, if I fell into the hands of the savages; or how I should escape from them, if they attempted me; no, nor so much as how it was possible for me to reach the coast, and not be attempted by some or other of them, without any possibility of delivering my self; and if I should not fall into their hands, what I should do for provision, or whither I should bend my course; none of these thoughts, I say, so much as came in my way; but my mind was wholly bent upon the notion of my pa.s.sing over in my boat, to the main land: I looked back upon my present condition as the most miserable that could possibly be; that I was not able to throw myself into any thing but death that could be called worse; that if I reached the sh.o.r.e of the main, I might, perhaps, meet with relief; or I might coast along, as I did on the sh.o.r.e of Africa, till I came to some inhabited country, and where I might find some relief; and after all, perhaps, I might fall in with some Christian ship that might take me in: and if the worst came to the worst, I could but die, which would put an end to all these miseries at once. Pray, note all this was the fruit of a disturbed mind, an impatient temper, made, as it were, desperate by the long continuance of my troubles, and the disappointments I had met in the wreck I had been on board of, and where I had been so near the obtaining of what I so earnestly longed for, viz. somebody to speak to, and to learn some knowledge from of the place where I was, and of the probable means of my deliverance; I say, I was agitated wholly by these thoughts. All my calm of mind in my resignation to Providence, and waiting the issue of the dispositions of Heaven, seemed to be suspended; and I had, as it were, no power to turn my thoughts to any thing but the project of a voyage to the main; which came upon me with such force, and such an impetuosity of desire, that it was not to be resisted.
When this had agitated my thoughts for two hours or more, with such violence that it set my very blood into a ferment, and my pulse beat as high as if I had been in a fever, merely with the extraordinary fervour of my mind about it; nature, as if I had been fatigued and exhausted with the very thought of it, threw me into a sound sleep: one would have thought I should have dreamed of it; but I did not, nor of any thing relating to it; but I dreamed, that as I was going out in the morning, as usual, from my castle, I saw upon the sh.o.r.e two canoes and eleven savages coming to land, and that they brought with them another savage, whom they were going to kill, in order to eat him; when on a sudden, the savage that they were going to kill jumped away, and ran for his life: then I thought in my sleep, that he came running into my little thick grove, before my fortification, to hide himself; and that I seeing him alone, and not perceiving that the others sought him that way, shewed myself to him, and, smiling upon him, encouraged him: that he kneeled down to me, seeming to pray me to a.s.sist him; upon which I shewed my ladder, made him go up it, and carried him into my cave, and he became my servant; and that as soon as I had got this man, I said to myself, "Now I may certainly venture to the main land; for this fellow will serve me as a pilot, and will tell me what to do, and whither to go for provisions, and whither not to go for fear of being devoured; what places to venture into, and what to escape." I waked with this thought, and was under such inexpressible impressions of joy at the prospect of my escape in my dream, that the disappointments which I felt upon coming to myself, and finding it was no more than a dream, were equally extravagant the other way, and threw me into a very great dejection of spirit.
Upon this, however, I made this conclusion, that my only way to go about an attempt for an escape, was, if possible, to get a savage in my possession; and, if possible, it should be one of their prisoners whom they had condemned to be eaten, and should bring hither to kill: but these thoughts still were attended with this difficulty, that it was impossible to effect this, without attacking a whole caravan of them, and killing them all; and this was not only a very desperate attempt, and might miscarry; but, on the other hand, I had greatly scrupled the lawfulness of it to me, and my heart trembled at the thoughts of shedding so much blood, though it was for my deliverance: I need not repeat the arguments which occurred to me against this, they being the same mentioned before: but though I had other reasons to offer now, viz.
that those men were enemies to my life, and would devour me, if they could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest degree, to deliver myself from this death of a life, and was acting in my own defence, as much as if they were actually a.s.saulting me, and the like; I say, though these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of shedding human blood for my deliverance were very terrible to me, and such as I could by no means reconcile myself to a great while.
However, at last, after many secret disputes with myself, and after great perplexities about it, (for all these arguments, one way and another, struggled in my head a long time,) the eager prevailing desire of deliverance at length mastered all the rest, and I resolved, if possible, to get one of these savages into my bands, cost what it would: the next thing then was to contrive how to do it; and this indeed was very difficult to resolve on: but as I could pitch upon no probable means for it, so I resolved to put myself upon the watch to see them when they came on sh.o.r.e, and leave the rest to the event, taking such measures as the opportunity should present, let it be what it would.
With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout as often as possible, and indeed so often, till I was heartily tired of it; for it was above a year and a half that I waited, and for a great part of that time went out to the west end, and to the south-west corner of the island, almost every day, to see the canoes, but none appeared. This was very discouraging, and began to trouble me much; though I can"t say that it did in this case, as it had done some time before that, viz.
wear off the edge of my desire to the thing; but the longer it seemed to be delayed, the more eager I was for it: in a word, I was not at first more careful to shun the sight of these savages, and avoid being seen by them, than I was now eager to be upon them.
Besides, I fancied myself able to manage one, nay, two or three savages, if I had them, so as to make them entirely slaves to me, to do whatever I should direct them, and to prevent their being able, at any time, to do me any hurt. It was a great while that I pleased myself with this affair, but nothing still presented; all my fancies and schemes came to nothing, for no savages came near me for a great while.
About a year and a half after I had entertained these notions, and, by long musing, had, as it were, resolved them all into nothing, for want of an occasion to put them in execution, I was surprised one morning early, with seeing no less than five canoes all on sh.o.r.e together, on my side the island, and the people who belonged to them all landed, and out of my sight: the number of them broke all my measures; for seeing so many, and knowing that they always came four, or six, or sometimes more, in a boat, I could not tell what to think of it, or how to take my measures, to attack twenty or thirty men single-handed; so I lay still in my castle, perplexed and discomforted; however, I put myself into all the same postures for an attack that I had formerly provided, and was just ready for action, if any thing had presented. Having waited a good while, listening to hear if they made any noise; at length being very impatient, I set my guns at the foot of my ladder, and clambered up to the top of the hill by my two stages, as usual, standing so, however, that my head did not appear above the hill, so that they could not perceive me by any means. Here I observed, by the help of my perspective gla.s.s, that they were no less than thirty in number; that they had a fire kindled, and that they had had meat dressed; how they cooked it, that I knew not, or what it was; but they were all dancing in I know not how many barbarous gestures and figures, their own way, round the fire.
When I was thus looking on them, I perceived by my perspective two miserable wretches dragged from the boats, where, it seems, they were laid by, and were now brought out for the slaughter: I perceived one of them immediately fall, being knocked down, I suppose, with a club or wooden sword, for that was their way; and two or three others were at work immediately, cutting him open for their cookery, while the other victim was left standing by himself, till they should be ready for him.
In that very moment this poor wretch, seeing himself a little at liberty, nature inspired him with hopes of life, and he started away from them, and ran with incredible swiftness along the sands, directly towards me, I mean towards that part of the coast where my habitation was.
I was dreadfully frighted (that I must acknowledge) when I perceived him to run my way; and especially when, as I thought, I saw him pursued by the whole body; and now I expected that part of my dream was coming to pa.s.s, and that he would certainly take shelter in my grove; but I could not depend, by any means, upon my dream for the rest of it, viz. that the other savages would not pursue him thither, and find him there.
However, I kept my station, and my spirits began to recover, when I found that there were not above three men that followed him; and still more was I encouraged, when I found that he out-stript them exceedingly in running, and gained ground of them, so that if he could but hold it for half an hour, I saw easily he would fairly get away from them all.
There was between them and my castle the creek, which I mentioned often at the first part of my story, when I landed my cargoes out of the ship; and this I knew he must necessarily swim over, or the poor wretch would be taken there: but when the savage escaping came thither, he made nothing of it, though the tide was then up; but plunging in, swam through in about thirty strokes, or thereabouts, landed, and ran on with exceeding strength and swiftness. When the three pursuers came to the creek, I found that two of them could swim, but the third could not, and that he, standing on the other side, looked at the other, but went no farther; and soon after went softly back again, which, as it happened, was very well for him in the main.