That Hat might, with care, have adorned me for years; But one show"r wash"d its beauty away.
How I lov"d thee, my Bright One! I pluck in remorse My hands from my pockets and wring "em: Oh, why did not I, dear, as a matter of course, Ere I purchas"d thee purchase a gingham?
C.S. CALVERLEY.
Mr. Dodgson spent the last night of the old year (1872) at Hatfield, where he was the guest of Lord Salisbury. There was a large party of children in the house, one of them being Princess Alice, to whom he told as much of the story of "Sylvie and Bruno" as he had then composed. While the tale was in progress Lady Salisbury entered the room, bringing in some new toy or game to amuse her little guests, who, with the usual thoughtlessness of children, all rushed off and left Mr. Dodgson. But the little Princess, suddenly appearing to remember that to do so might perhaps hurt his feelings, sat down again by his side. He read the kind thought which prompted her action, and was much pleased by it.
As Mr. Dodgson knew several members of the _Punch_ staff, he used to send up any little incidents or remarks that particularly amused him to that paper. He even went so far as to suggest subjects for cartoons, though I do not know if his ideas were ever carried out. One of the anecdotes he sent to _Punch_ was that of a little boy, aged four, who after having listened with much attention to the story of Lot"s wife, asked ingenuously, "Where does salt come from that"s _not_ made of ladies?" This appeared on January 3, 1874.
The following is one of several such little anecdotes jotted down by Lewis Carroll for future use: Dr. Paget was conducting a school examination, and in the course of his questions he happened to ask a small child the meaning of "Average." He was utterly bewildered by the reply, "The thing that hens lay on," until the child explained that he had read in a book that hens lay _on an average_ so many eggs a year.
Among the notable people whom he photographed was John Ruskin, and, as several friends begged him for copies, he wrote to ask Mr. Ruskin"s leave. The reply was, "Buy Number 5 of _Fors Clavigera_ for 1871, which will give you your answer." This was not what Mr. Dodgson wanted, so he wrote back, "Can"t afford ten-pence!" Finally Mr. Ruskin gave his consent.
[Ill.u.s.tration: John Ruskin. _From a photograph by Lewis Carroll_.]
About this time came the anonymous publication of "Notes by an Oxford Chiel," a collection of papers written on various occasions, and all of them dealing with Oxford controversies. Taking them in order, we have first "The New Method of Evaluation as applied to [_pi_],"
first published by Messrs. Parker in 1865, which had for its subject the controversy about the Regius Professorship of Greek. One extract will be sufficient to show the way in which the affair was treated: "Let U = the University, G = Greek, and P = Professor. Then G P = Greek Professor; let this be reduced to its lowest terms and call the result J [i.e., Jowett]."
The second paper is called "The Dynamics of a Parti-cle," and is quite the best of the series; it is a geometrical treatment of the contest between Mr. Gathorne Hardy and Mr. Gladstone for the representation of the University. Here are some of the "Definitions" with which the subject was introduced:--
_Plain Superficiality_ is the character of a speech, in which any two points being taken, the speaker is found to lie wholly with regard to those two points.
_Plain Anger_ is the inclination of two voters to one another, who meet together, but whose views are not in the same direction.
When two parties, coming together, feel a Right Anger, each is _said_ to be _complimentary_ to the other, though, strictly speaking, this is very seldom the case.
_A surd_ is a radical whose meaning cannot be exactly ascertained.
As the "Notes of an Oxford Chiel" has been long out of print, I will give a few more extracts from this paper:--
_On Differentiation._
The effect of Differentiation on a Particle is very remarkable, the first differential being frequently of greater value than the original particle, and the second of less enlightenment.
For example, let L = "Leader", S = "Sat.u.r.day", and then LS = "Leader in the Sat.u.r.day" (a particle of no a.s.signable value). Differentiating once, we get L.S.D., a function of great value. Similarly it will be found that, by taking the second Differential of an enlightened Particle (_i.e.,_ raising it to the Degree D.D.), the enlightenment becomes rapidly less. The effect is much increased by the addition of a C: in this case the enlightenment often vanishes altogether, and the Particle becomes Conservative.
PROPOSITIONS.
PROP. I. PR.
_To find the value of a given Examiner_.
_Example_.--A takes in ten books in the Final Examination and gets a 3rd cla.s.s; B takes in the Examiners, and gets a 2nd. Find the value of the Examiners in terms of books. Find also their value in terms in which no Examination is held.
PROP. II. PR.
_To estimate Profit and Loss_.
_Example_.--Given a Derby Prophet, who has sent three different winners to three different betting-men, and given that none of the three horses are placed. Find the total loss incurred by the three men (_a_) in money, (_b_) in temper. Find also the Prophet. Is this latter usually possible?
PROP. IV. TH.
_The end_ (i.e., "_the product of the extremes") justifies_ (i.e., "_is equal to_"--_see Latin "aequus") the means_.
No example is appended to this Proposition, for obvious reasons.
PROP. V. PR.
_To continue a given series._
_Example_.--A and B, who are respectively addicted to Fours and Fives, occupy the same set of rooms, which is always at Sixes and Sevens. Find the probable amount of reading done by A and B while the Eights are on.
The third paper was ent.i.tled "Facts, Figures, and Fancies." The best thing in it was a parody on "The Deserted Village," from which an extract will be found in a later chapter. There was also a letter to the Senior Censor of Christ Church, in burlesque of a similar letter in which the Professor of Physics met an offer of the Clarendon Trustees by a detailed enumeration of the requirements in his own department of Natural Science. Mr. Dodgson"s letter deals with the imaginary requirements of the Mathematical school:--
Dear Senior Censor,--In a desultory conversation on a point connected with the dinner at our high table, you incidentally remarked to me that lobster-sauce, "though a necessary adjunct to turbot, was not entirely wholesome!"
It is entirely unwholesome. I never ask for it without reluctance: I never take a second spoonful without a feeling of apprehension on the subject of a possible nightmare. This naturally brings me to the subject of Mathematics, and of the accommodation provided by the University for carrying on the calculations necessary in that important branch of Science.
As Members of Convocation are called upon (whether personally, or, as is less exasperating, by letter) to consider the offer of the Clarendon Trustees, as well as every other subject of human, or inhuman, interest, capable of consideration, it has occurred to me to suggest for your consideration how desirable roofed buildings are for carrying on mathematical calculations: in fact, the variable character of the weather in Oxford renders it highly inexpedient to attempt much occupation, of a sedentary nature, in the open air.
Again, it is often impossible for students to carry on accurate mathematical calculations in close contiguity to one another, owing to their mutual conversation; consequently these processes require different rooms in which irrepressible conversationalists, who are found to occur in every branch of Society, might be carefully and permanently fixed.
It may be sufficient for the present to enumerate the following requisites--others might be added as funds permit:--
A. A very large room for calculating Greatest Common Measure. To this a small one might be attached for Least Common Multiple: this, however, might be dispensed with.
B. A piece of open ground for keeping Roots and practising their extraction: it would be advisable to keep Square Roots by themselves, as their corners are apt to damage others.
C. A room for reducing Fractions to their Lowest Terms. This should be provided with a cellar for keeping the Lowest Terms when found, which might also be available to the general body of Undergraduates, for the purpose of "keeping Terms."
D. A large room, which might be darkened, and fitted up with a magic lantern, for the purpose of exhibiting circulating Decimals in the act of circulation. This might also contain cupboards, fitted with gla.s.s doors, for keeping the various Scales of Notation.
E. A narrow strip of ground, railed off and carefully levelled, for investigating the properties of Asymptotes, and testing practically whether Parallel Lines meet or not: for this purpose it should reach, to use the expressive language of Euclid, "ever so far."
This last process of "continually producing the lines," may require centuries or more; but such a period, though long in the life of an individual, is as nothing in the life of the University.
As Photography is now very much employed in recording human expressions, and might possibly be adapted to Algebraical Expressions, a small photographic room would be desirable, both for general use and for representing the various phenomena of Gravity, Disturbance of Equilibrium, Resolution, &c., which affect the features during severe mathematical operations.
May I trust that you will give your immediate attention to this most important subject?
Believe me,
Sincerely yours,
Mathematicus.