_Tuesday, November 29._--Work all day. Heigh ho! Clara and Sh.e.l.ley go before breakfast to Parker"s. After breakfast, Sh.e.l.ley is as badly off as I am with my work, for he is out all day with those lawyers. In the evening Sh.e.l.ley and Jane go in search of Charles Clairmont; they cannot find him. Read _Philip Stanley_--very stupid.
_Tuesday, December 6._--Very unwell. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara walk out, as usual, to heaps of places. Read _Agathon_, which I do not like so well as _Peregrine_.... A letter from Hookham, to say that Harriet has been brought to bed of a son and heir. Sh.e.l.ley writes a number of circular letters of this event, which ought to be ushered in with ringing of bells, etc., for it is the son _of his wife_. Hogg comes in the evening; I like him better, though he vexed me by his attachment to sporting. A letter from Harriet confirming the news, in a letter from a _deserted wife_!! and telling us he has been born a week.
_Wednesday, December 7._--Clara and Sh.e.l.ley go out together; Sh.e.l.ley calls on the lawyers and on Harriet, who treats him with insulting selfishness; they return home wet and very tired. Read _Agathon_. I like it less to-day; he discovers many opinions which I think detestable. Work. In the evening Charles Clairmont comes. Hear that Place is trying to raise 1200 to pay Hume on Sh.e.l.ley"s _post obit_; affairs very bad in Skinner Street; afraid of a call for the rent; all very bad. Sh.e.l.ley walks home with Charles Clairmont; goes to Hookham"s about the 100 to lend my Father. Hookham out. He returns; very tired.
Work in the evening.
_Thursday, December 8._--Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go to Hookham"s; get the 90 for my father; they are out, as usual, all morning. Finish _Agathon_. I do not like it; Wieland displays some most detestable opinions; he is one of those men who alter all their opinions when they are about forty, and then think it will be the same with every one, and that they are themselves the only proper monitors of youth.
Work. When Sh.e.l.ley and Clara return, Sh.e.l.ley goes to Lambert"s; out.
Work. In the evening Hogg comes; talk about a great number of things; he is more sincere this evening than I have seen him before. Odd dreams.
_Friday, December 16._--Still ill; heigh ho! Finish _Jane Talbot_.
Hume calls at half-past 12; he tells of the great distress in Skinner Street; I do not see him. Hookham calls; hasty little man; he does not stay long. In the evening Hogg comes. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara are at first out; they have been to look for Charles Clairmont; they find him, and walk with him some time up and down Ely Place. Sh.e.l.ley goes to sleep early; very tired. We talk about flowers and trees in the evening; a country conversation.
_Sat.u.r.day, December 17._--Very ill. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go to Pike"s; when they return, Sh.e.l.ley goes to walk round the Square. Talk with Sh.e.l.ley in the evening; he sleeps, and I lie down on the bed. Jane goes to Pike"s at 9. Charles Clairmont comes, and talks about several things. Mrs. G.o.dwin did not allow f.a.n.n.y to come down to dinner on her receiving a lock of my hair. f.a.n.n.y of course behaves slavishly on the occasion. He goes at half-past 11.
_Sunday, December 18._--Better, but far from well. Pa.s.s a very happy morning with Sh.e.l.ley. Charles Clairmont comes at dinner-time, the Skinner Street folk having gone to dine at the Kennie"s. Jane and he take a long walk together. Sh.e.l.ley and I are left alone. Hogg comes after Clara and her brother return. C. C. flies from the field on his approach. Conversation as usual. Get worse towards night.
_Monday, December 19_ (Sh.e.l.ley).--Mary rather better this morning.
Jane goes to Hume"s about G.o.dwin"s bills; learn that Lambert is inclined, but hesitates. Hear of a woman--supposed to be the daughter of the Duke of Montrose--who has the head of a hog. _Suetonius_ is finished, and Sh.e.l.ley begins the _Historia Augustana_. Charles Clairmont comes in the evening; a discussion concerning female character. Clara imagines that I treat her unkindly; Mary consoles her with her all-powerful benevolence. I rise (having already gone to bed) and speak with Clara; she was very unhappy; I leave her tranquil.
_Tuesday, December 20_ (Mary).--Sh.e.l.ley goes to Pike"s; take a short walk with him first. Unwell. A letter from Harriet, who threatens Sh.e.l.ley with her lawyer. In the evening read _Emilia Galotti_. Hogg comes. Converse of various things. He goes at twelve.
_Wednesday, December 21_ (Sh.e.l.ley).--Mary is better. Sh.e.l.ley goes to Pike"s, to the Insurance Offices, and the lawyer"s; an agreement entered into for 3000 for 1000. A letter from Wales, offering _post obit_. Sh.e.l.ley goes to Hume"s; Mary reads Miss Baillie"s plays in the evening. Sh.e.l.ley goes to bed at 8; Mary at 11.
_Sat.u.r.day, December 24_ (Mary).--Read _View of French Revolution_.
Walk out with Sh.e.l.ley, and spend a dreary morning waiting for him at Mr. Peac.o.c.k"s. In the evening Hogg comes. I like him better each time; it is a pity that he is a lawyer; he wasted so much time on that trash that might be spent on better things.
_Sunday, December 25._--Christmas Day. Have a very bad side-ache in the morning, so I rise late. Charles Clairmont comes and dines with us. In the afternoon read Miss Baillie"s plays. Hogg spends the evening with us; conversation, as usual.
_Monday, December 26_ (Sh.e.l.ley).--The sweet Maie asleep; leave a note with her. Walk with Clara to Pike"s, etc. Go to Hampstead and look for a house; we return in a return-chaise; find that Laurence has arrived, and consult for Mary; she has read Miss Baillie"s plays all day. Mary better this evening. Sh.e.l.ley very much fatigued; sleeps all the evening. Read _Candide_.
_Tuesday, December 27_ (Mary).--Not very well; Sh.e.l.ley very unwell.
Read _De Montfort_, and talk with Sh.e.l.ley in the evening. Read _View of the French Revolution_. Hogg comes in the evening; talk of heaps of things. Sh.e.l.ley"s odd dream.
_Wednesday, December 28._--Sh.e.l.ley and Clara out all the morning. Read _French Revolution_ in the evening. Sh.e.l.ley and I go to Gray"s Inn to get Hogg; he is not there; go to Arundel Street; can"t find him. Go to Garnerin"s. Lecture on electricity; the gases, and the phantasmagoria; return at half-past 9. Sh.e.l.ley goes to sleep. Read _View of French Revolution_ till 12; go to bed.
_Friday, December 30._--Sh.e.l.ley and Jane go out as usual. Read Bryan Edwards"s _Account of West Indies_. They do not return till past seven, having been locked into Kensington Gardens; both very tired.
Hogg spends the evening with us.
_Sat.u.r.day, December 31_ (Sh.e.l.ley).--The poor Maie was very weak and tired all day. Sh.e.l.ley goes to Pike"s and Humes" and Mrs.
Peac.o.c.k"s;[13] return very tired, and sleeps all the evening. The Maie goes to sleep early. New Year"s Eve.
In January 1815 Sh.e.l.ley"s grandfather, Sir Bysshe, died, and his father, Mr. Timothy Sh.e.l.ley, succeeded to the baronetcy and estate. By an arrangement with his father, according to which he relinquished all claim on a certain portion of his patrimony, Sh.e.l.ley now became possessed of 1000 a year (200 a year of which he at once set apart for Harriet), as well as a considerable sum of ready money for the relief of his present necessities. 200 of this he also sent to Harriet to pay her debts. The next few entries in the journal were, however, written before this event.
_Thursday, January 5_ (Mary).--Go to breakfast at Hogg"s; Sh.e.l.ley leaves us there and goes to Hume"s. When he returns we go to Newman Street; see the statue of Theoclea; it is a divinity that raises your mind to all virtue and excellence; I never beheld anything half so wonderfully beautiful. Return home very ill. Expect Hogg in the evening, but he does not come. Too ill to read.
_Friday, January 6._--Walk to Mrs. Peac.o.c.k"s with Clara. Walk with Hogg to Theoclea; she is ten thousand times more beautiful to-day than ever; tear ourselves away. Return to Nelson Square; no one at home.
Hogg stays a short time with me. Sh.e.l.ley had stayed at home till 2 to see Ryan;[14] he does not come. Goes out about business. In the evening Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go to Garnerin"s.... Very unwell. Hogg comes. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara return at ten. Conversation as usual. Sh.e.l.ley reads "Ode to France" aloud, and repeats the poem to "Tranquillity."
Talk with Sh.e.l.ley afterwards for some time; at length go to sleep.
Sh.e.l.ley goes out and sits in the other room till 5; I then call him.
Talk. Sh.e.l.ley goes to sleep; at 8 Sh.e.l.ley rises and goes out.
The next entry is made during Sh.e.l.ley"s short absence in Suss.e.x, after his grandfather"s death. Clara had accompanied him on his journey.
_(Date between January 7 and January 13)._--Letter from Peac.o.c.k to say that he is in prison.... His debt is 40.... Write to Peac.o.c.k and send him 2. Hogg dines with me and spends the evening; letter from Hookham.
_Friday, January 13._--A letter from Clara. While I am at breakfast Sh.e.l.ley and Clara arrive. The will has been opened, and Sh.e.l.ley is referred to Whitton. His father would not allow him to enter Field Place; he sits before the door and reads _Comus_. Dr. Blocksome comes out; tells him that his father is very angry with him. Sees my name in Milton.... Hogg dines, and spends the evening with us.
_Sunday, January 24._--In the evening Sh.e.l.ley, Clara, and Hogg sleep.
Read Gibbon.... Hogg goes at half-past 11. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara explain as usual.
_Monday, January 30._--Work all day. Sh.e.l.ley reads Livy. In the evening Sh.e.l.ley reads _Paradise Regained_ aloud, and then goes to sleep. Hogg comes at 9. Talk and work. Hogg sleeps here.
_Wednesday, February 1._--Read Gibbon (end of vol. i.) Sh.e.l.ley reads Livy in the evening. Work. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara sleep. Hogg comes and sleeps here. Mrs. Hill calls.
_Sunday, February 5._--Read Gibbon. Take a long walk in Kensington Gardens and the Park; meet Clairmont as we return, and hear that my father wishes to see a copy of the codicil, because he thinks Sh.e.l.ley is acting rashly. All this is very odd and inconsistent, but I never quarrel with inconsistency; folks must change their minds. After dinner talk. Sh.e.l.ley finishes Gibbon"s _Memoirs_ aloud. Clara, Sh.e.l.ley, and Hogg sleep. Read Gibbon. Sh.e.l.ley writes to Longdill and Clairmont. Hogg ill, but we cannot persuade him to stay; he goes at half-past 11.
_Wednesday, February 8._--Ash Wednesday. So Hogg stays all day. We are to move to-day, so Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go out to look for lodgings. Hogg and I pack, and then talk. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara do not return till 3; they have not succeeded; go out again; they get apartments at Hans Place; move. In the evening talk and read Gibbon. Letters. Pike calls; insolent plague. Hogg goes at half-past 11.
_Tuesday, February 14_ (Sh.e.l.ley).--Sh.e.l.ley goes to Longdill"s and Hayward"s, and returns feverish and fatigued. Maie finishes the third volume of Gibbon. All unwell in the evening. Hogg comes and puts us to bed. Hogg goes at half-past 11.
In this month, probably on the 22d (but that page of the diary is torn), when they had been hardly more than a week in their last new lodgings, a little girl was born. Although her confinement was premature, Mary had a favourable time; the infant, a scarcely seven months" child, was not expected to live; it survived, however, for some days. It might possibly have been saved, had it had an ordinary chance of life given it, but, on the ninth day of its existence, the whole family moved yet again to new lodgings. How the young mother ever recovered from the fatigues, risks, and worries she had to go through at this critical time may well be wondered. It is more than probable that the unreasonable demands made on her strength and courage during this month and those which preceded it laid the foundation of much weak health later on. The child was sacrificed. Four days after the move it was found in the morning dead by its mother"s side. The poor little thing was a mere pa.s.sing episode in Sh.e.l.ley"s troubled, hurried existence. Only to Mary were its birth and death a deep and permanent experience. Apart from her love for Sh.e.l.ley, her affections had been chiefly of the intellectual kind, and even in her relation with him mental affinity had played a great part. A new chord in her temperament was set vibrating by the advent of this baby, the maternal one, quite absent from her disposition before, and which was to a.s.sert itself at last as the keynote of her nature.
Hogg, who was almost constantly with them at this time, seems to have been kind, helpful, and sympathetic.
The baby"s birth was too much for f.a.n.n.y G.o.dwin"s endurance and fort.i.tude.
Up to this time she had, in accordance with what she conceived to be her duty, held aloof from the Sh.e.l.leys, but, the barrier once broken down, she came repeatedly to see them. Mrs. G.o.dwin showed that she had a soft spot in her heart by sending Mary, through f.a.n.n.y, a present of linen, no doubt most welcome at this unprepared-for crisis. Beyond this she was unrelenting. Her pride, however, was not so strong as her feminine curiosity, which she indulged still by parading before the windows and trying to get peeps at the people behind them. She was annoyed with f.a.n.n.y, who now, however, held her own course, feeling that her duty could not be all on one side while her family consented to be dependent, and that every moment of her father"s peace and safety were due entirely to this Sh.e.l.ley whom he would not see.
_Journal, February 22_ (Sh.e.l.ley) (after the baby"s birth).--Maie perfectly well and at ease. The child is not quite seven months; the child not expected to live. Sh.e.l.ley sits up with Maie, much exhausted and agitated. Hogg sleeps here.
_Thursday, February 23._--Mary quite well; the child unexpectedly alive, but still not expected to live. Hogg returns in the evening at half-past 7. Sh.e.l.ley writes to f.a.n.n.y requesting her to come and see Maie. f.a.n.n.y comes and remains the whole night, the G.o.dwins being absent from home. Charles comes at 11 with linen from Mrs. G.o.dwin.
Hogg departs at 11. 30 from Longdill.
_Friday, February 24._--Maie still well; favourable symptoms in the child; we may indulge some hopes. Hogg calls at 2. f.a.n.n.y departs. Dr.
Clarke calls; confirms our hopes of the child. Sh.e.l.ley finishes second volume of Livy, p. 657. Hogg comes in the evening. Sh.e.l.ley very unwell and exhausted.
_Sat.u.r.day, February 25._--The child very well; Maie very well also; drawing milk all day. Sh.e.l.ley is very unwell.
_Sunday, February 26_ (Mary).--Maie rises to-day. Hogg comes; talk; she goes to bed at 6. Hogg calls at the lodgings we have taken. Read _Corinne_. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go to sleep. Hogg returns; talk with him till past 11. He goes. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go down to tea. Just settling to sleep when a knock comes to the door; it is f.a.n.n.y; she came to see how we were; she stays talking till half-past 3, and then leaves the room that Sh.e.l.ley and Mary may sleep. Sh.e.l.ley has a spasm.
_Monday, February 27._--Rise; talk and read _Corinne_. Hogg comes in the evening. Sh.e.l.ley and Clara go out about a cradle....
_Tuesday, February 28._--I come downstairs; talk, nurse the baby, read _Corinne_, and work. Sh.e.l.ley goes to Pemberton about his health.
_Wednesday, March 1._--Nurse the baby, read _Corinne_, and work.
Sh.e.l.ley and Clara out all morning. In the evening Peac.o.c.k comes. Talk about types, editions, and Greek letters all the evening. Hogg comes.
They go away at half-past 11. Bonaparte invades France.