Absorbed in these thoughts, I hardly realised the almost religious peace of my surroundings,--and it was only when the voices ceased for a few minutes that I saw what was contained in this small room I had half unwittingly entered,--an exquisite little table, apparently made of crystal which shone like a diamond--and on the table, an open book. A chair was placed in position for the evident purpose of reading--and as I approached, at first indifferently and then with awakening interest, I saw that the open book showed an inscription on its fly-leaf--"To a faithful student.--From Aselzion." Was _I_ "a faithful student"? I asked myself the question doubtingly. There was no "faithfulness" in fears and depressions! Here was I, shaken in part from self-control from the mere hearing of voices behind a wall! I, who had said that "G.o.d ordains nothing that is not for good"--was suddenly ready to believe that He had ordained the death of the lover to whom His laws had guided me! I, to whom had been vouchsafed the beatific vision of an Angel--an Angel who had said--"G.o.d thinks no evil of thee--desires no wrong towards thee--has no punishment in store for thee--give thyself into His Hand, and be at peace!" was already flinching and turning away from the Faith that should keep me strong! A sense of shame stole over me--and almost timidly I approached the table on which the open book lay, and sat down in the chair so invitingly placed. I had scarcely done this when the voices began again, in rather louder and angrier tones.
"She imagines she can learn the secret of life! A woman, too! The brazen arrogance of such an attempt!"
"No, no! It is not the secret of life she wants to discover so much as the secret of perpetual youth! That, to a woman, is everything! To be always young and always fair! What feminine thing would not "adventure for such merchandise"!"
A loud laugh followed this observation.
"Santoris was well on his way to the goal"--said a voice that was suave and calm of accent--"Certainly no one would have guessed his real age."
"He had all the ardour and pa.s.sion of youth"--said another voice--"The fire of love ran as warmly in his veins as though he were a Romeo! None of the coldness and reluctance of age affected him where the fair s.e.x was concerned!"
More laughter followed. I sat rigidly in the chair by the crystal table, listening to every word.
"The woman here is the latest victim of his hypnotic suggestions, isn"t she?"
"Yes. One may say his LAST victim--he will victimise no more."
"I suppose if Aselzion told her the truth she would go at once?"
"Of course! Why should she remain? It is only a dream of love that has brought her here--when she knows the dream is over, there will be nothing left."
True! Nothing left! The whole world a desert, and Heaven itself without hope! I pressed my hands to my eyes to try and cool their burning ache--was it possible that what these voices said could be true? They had ceased speaking, and there was a blessed silence. As a kind of desperate resource, I took out the letter Rafel Santoris had written to me, and read its every word with an eager pa.s.sion of yearning--especially the one pa.s.sage that ran thus--"We--you and I--who know that Life, being ALL Life, CANNOT die,--ought to be wiser in our present s.p.a.ce of time than to doubt each other"s infinite capability for love and the perfect world of beauty which love creates."
"Wiser than to doubt"! Ah, I was not wise enough! I was full of doubts and imagined evils--and why? Because of voices behind a wall! Surely a foolish cause for sorrow! I tried to extricate my mind from the darkness of despondency into which it had fallen, and to distract my attention from my own unhappy thoughts I glanced at the book which lay open before me. As I looked, its t.i.tle, printed in letters of gold, flashed on my eyes like a gleam of the sun--"The Secret of Life." A sudden keen expectancy stirred in me--I folded Rafel"s letter and slipped it back into its resting-place near my heart--then I drew my chair close up to the table, and bending over the book began to read.
All was now perfectly still around me--the voices had ceased. Gradually I became aware that what I was reading was intended for my instruction, and that the book itself was a gift to me from Aselzion if I proved a "faithful student." A thrill of hope and grat.i.tude began to relieve the cold weight upon my heart,--and I suddenly resolved that I would not listen to any more voices, even if they spoke again.
"Rafel Santoris is not dead!"--I said aloud and resolutely--"He could not so sever himself from me now! He is not treacherous--he is true! He is not "fooling" me--he is relying upon me to believe in him. And I WILL believe in him!--my love and faith shall not be shaken by mere rumour! I will give him no cause to think me weak or cowardly,--I will trust him to the end!"
And with these words spoken to the air, I went on reading quietly in a stillness made suddenly fragrant with the scent of unseen flowers.
XVII
THE MAGIC BOOK
It is not possible here to transcribe more than a few extracts from the book on which my attention now became completely riveted. The pa.s.sages selected are chosen simply because they may by chance be useful to those few--those very few--who desire to make of their lives something more than a mere buy and sell business, and also because they can hardly be called difficult to understand. When Paracelsus wrote "The Secret of Long Life" he did so in a fashion sufficiently abstruse and complex to scare away all but the most diligent and persevering of students, this no doubt being his intention. But the instructions given in the volume placed, as I imagined, for my perusal, were simple and in accordance with many of the facts discovered by modern science, and as I read on and on I began to see light through the darkness, and to gain a perception of the way in which I might become an adept in what the world deems "miracle," but which after all is nothing but the scientific application of common sense. To begin with, I will quote the following,--headed
LIFE AND ITS ADJUSTMENT
"Life is the Divine impetus of Love. The Force behind the Universe is Love--and from that Love is bred Desire and Creation. Even as the human lover pa.s.sionately craves possession of his beloved, so that from their mutual tenderness the children of Love are born, the Divine Spirit, immortally creative and desirous of perfect beauty, possesses s.p.a.ce with eternal energy, producing millions of solar systems, each one of which has a different organisation and a separate individuality. Man, the creature of our small planet, the Earth, is but a single result of the resistless output of Divine fecundity,--nevertheless Man is the "image of G.o.d" in that he is endowed with reason, will and intelligence beyond that of the purely animal creation, and that he is given an immortal Soul, formed for love and for the eternal things which love creates. He can himself be Divine, in the Desire and Perpetuation of Life. Considered in a strictly material sense, he is simply an embodied force composed of atoms held together in a certain organised form,--but within this organised form is contained a spiritual Being capable of guiding and controlling its earthly vehicle and adjusting it to surroundings and circ.u.mstances. In his dual nature Man has the power of holding his life-cells under his own command--he can renew them or destroy them at pleasure. He generally elects to destroy them through selfishness and obstinacy,--the two chief disintegrating elements of his mortal composition. Hence the result which he calls "death"--but which is merely the necessary transposition of his existence (which he has himself brought about) into a more useful phase. If he were to learn once for all that he can prolong his life on this earth in youth and health for an indefinite period, in which days and years are not counted, but only psychic "episodes" or seasons, he could pa.s.s from one joy to another, from one triumph to another, as easily as breathing the air. It is judged good for a man"s body that he should stand upright, and that he should move his limbs with grace and ease, performing physical exercises for the improvement and strengthening of his muscles,--and he is not considered a fool for any feats of physical valour or ability which he may accomplish. Why then should he not train his Soul to stand as upright as his body, so that it may take full possession of all the powers which natural and spiritual energy can provide?
"Reader and Student!--you for whom these words are written, learn and remember that the secret strength and renewal of life is Adjustment--the adjustment of the atoms whereof the body is composed to the commands of the Soul. Be the G.o.d of your own universe! Control your own solar system that it may warm and revivify you with an ever recurring spring! Make Love the summer of your life, and let it create within you the pa.s.sion of n.o.ble desire, the fervour of joy, the fire of idealism and faith! Know yourself as part of the Divine Spirit of all things, and be divine in your own creative existence. The whole Universe is open to the searchings of your Soul if Love be the torch to light your way!"
Having read thus far, I paused--the little room in which I sat appeared darker--or was it my fancy? I listened for the voices which had so confused and worried me--but there was no sound. I turned the pages of the book before me, and found the following:
THE ACTION OF THOUGHT
"Thought is an actual motive Force, more powerful than any other motive force in the world. It is not the mere pulsation in a particular set of brain cells, destined to pa.s.s away into nothingness when the pulsation has ceased. Thought is the voice of the Soul. Just as the human voice is transmitted through distance on the telephone wires, so is the Soul"s voice carried through the radiant fibres connected with the nerves to the brain. The brain receives it, but cannot keep it--for it again is transmitted by its own electric power to other brains,--and you can no more keep a thought to yourself than you can hold a monopoly in the sunshine. Everywhere in all worlds, throughout the whole cosmos, Souls are speaking through the material medium of the brain,--souls that may not inhabit this world at all, but that may be as far away from us as the last star visible to the strongest telescope. The harmonies that suggest themselves to the musician here to-day may have fallen from Sirius or Jupiter, striking on his earthly brain with a spiritual sweetness from worlds unknown,--the poet writes what he scarcely realises, obeying the inspiration of his dreams,-and we are all, at our best, but mediums for conveying thought, first receiving it from other spheres to ourselves, and then transmitting it from ourselves to others. Shakespeare, the chief poet and prophet of the world, has written: "There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so,"--thus giving out a profound truth,--one of the most profound truths of the Psychic Creed. For what we THINK, we are; and our thoughts resolve themselves into our actions.
"In the renewal of life and the preservation of youth, Thought is the chief factor. If we THINK we are old--we age rapidly. If, on the contrary, we THINK we are young, we preserve our vitality indefinitely.
The action of thought influences the living particles of which our bodies are composed, so that we positively age them or rejuvenate them by the att.i.tude we a.s.sume. The thinking att.i.tude of the human Soul should be one of grat.i.tude, love and joy. There is no room in Spiritual Nature for fear, depression, sickness or death. G.o.d intends His creation to be happy, and by bringing the Soul and Body both into tune with happiness we obey His laws and fulfil His desire. Therefore, to live long, encourage thoughts of happiness! Avoid all persons who talk of disease, misery and decay--for these things are the crimes of man, and are offences against G.o.d"s primal design of beauty. Drink in deep draughts of sunshine and fresh air,--inhale the perfume of flowers and trees,--keep far away from cities and from crowds--seek no wealth that is not earned by hand or brain--and above all things remember that the Children of Light may walk in the Light without fear of darkness!"
Something in this latter sentence made me stop, and look again around me--and again I felt sure that the room was growing darker, and not only darker but smaller. The purple silk hangings which draped the walls were almost within my touch, and I knew they had not been so close to me when I first sat down to read. A nervous tremor ran through me, but I resolved I would not be the dupe of my own fancy, and I set myself once more resolutely to the study of the volume before me. The next paragraph which attracted me was headed
ON THE COMMAND OF LIFE"S FORCES
and began thus:
"To live long you must have perfect control of the forces that engender life. The atoms of which your body is composed are in perpetual movement,--your Spiritual Self must guide them in the way they should go, otherwise they resemble an army without organisation or equipment, easily put to rout by a first a.s.sault. If you have them under your spiritual orders you are practically immune from all disease. Disease can never enter your system save through some unguarded corner. You may meet with accident--through the fault of others or through your own wilfulness,--if through your own wilfulness, you have only yourself to blame--if through the fault of others, you may know that it was a destined and pre-ordained removal of yourself from a sphere for which you are judged to be unfitted. Barring such accident, your life need know no end, even on this earth. Your Spirit, called the Soul, is a Creature of Light--and it can supply revivifying rays to every atom and cell in your body without stint or cessation. It is an exhaustless supply of "radium" from which the forces of your life may draw perpetual sustenance. Man uses every exterior means of self-preservation, but forgets the interior power he possesses, which was bestowed upon him that he might "replenish the earth and subdue it." To "replenish" the earth is to give out love ungrudgingly to all Nature,--to "subdue" the earth, is first, to master the atoms of which the human organisation is composed, and hold them completely under control, so that by means of this mastery, all other atomic movements and forces upon this planet and its encircling atmosphere may be equally controlled. Much is talked of the "light rays" which pierce solid matter as though it were nothing but clear air--yet this discovery is but the beginning of wonders. There are rays which divine metals, even as the hazel wand divines the presence of water,--and the treasures of the earth, the gold, the silver, the jewels and precious things that are hidden beneath its surface and in the depth of the sea can be seen in their darkest recesses by the penetrating flash of a Ray as yet unknown to any but adepts in the Psychic Creed. No true adept is ever poor,--poverty cannot exist where perfect control of the life forces is maintained. Gladness, peace and plenty must naturally attend the Soul that is in tune with Nature and life is always perpetuated from the joy of life.
"Stand, therefore, O patient Student, erect and firm!--let the radiating force of the Soul possess every nerve and blood-vessel of the body, and learn to command all things pertaining to good with that strength which compels obedience! Not idly did the Supreme Master speak when He told His disciples that if their faith were but as a grain of mustard seed they could command a mountain to be cast into the sea, and it would obey. Remember that the Spirit within your bodily house of clay is Divine, and of G.o.d!--and that with G.o.d all things are possible!"
I raised my head from its bent position over the book, and drew a long breath--something oppressed me with a sense of suffocation, and looking up I saw that I was being steadily closed in, as by a contracting cage.
The little room, draped with its soft purple hangings, was now too small for me to move about, I was pinned to my chair, and the ceiling was apparently descending upon me. With a shock of horrified memory I recalled the old torture of the "living tomb" practised by the Spanish Inquisition, when the wretched victim was compelled to watch the walls of his prison slowly narrowing round him inch by inch till he was crushed to death. How could I be sure that no such cruelties were used among the mysterious members of a mysterious Brotherhood, whose avowed object of study was the searching out of the secret of life? I made an effort to rise, and found I could stand upright--and there straight opposite to me was the entrance to my own room from which I had wandered into this small inner chamber. It seemed easy enough to get there, and yet--I found myself hindered by an invisible barrier. I stood, with my heart beating nervously--wondering what was my threatening danger. Almost involuntarily my eyes still perused the printed page of the book before me, and I read the following sentences in a kind of waking dream:--
"To the Soul that will not study the needs of its immortal nature, life itself becomes a narrow cell. All G.o.d"s creation waits upon it to supply what it shall demand,--yet it starves in the midst of plenty.
Fear, suspicion, distrust, anger, envy and callousness paralyse its being and destroy its action,--love, courage, patience, sweetness, generosity and sympathy are actual life-forces to it and to the body it inhabits. All the influences of the social world work AGAINST it--all the influences of the natural world work WITH it. There is nothing of pure Nature that will not obey its behest, and this should be enough for its happy existence. Sorrow and despair result from the misguidance of the Will--there is no other cause in earth or heaven for any pain or trouble."
Misguidance of the Will! I spoke the words aloud--then went on reading--
"What is Heaven? A state of perfect happiness. What is Happiness? The immortal union of two Souls in one, creatures of G.o.d"s eternal light, partaking each other"s thoughts, bestowing upon each other the renewal of joy, and creating loveliness in form and action by their mutual sympathy and tenderness. Age cannot touch them--death has no meaning for them,--life is their air and s.p.a.ce and movement--life palpitates through them and warms them with colour and glory as the sunshine warms and reddens the petals of the rose--they grow beyond mortality and are immune from all disaster--they are a world in themselves, involuntarily creating other worlds as they pa.s.s from one phase to another of production and fruition. For there is no good work accomplished without love,--no great triumph achieved without love,--no fame, no victory gained without love! The lovers of G.o.d are the beloved of G.o.d!--their pa.s.sion is divine, knowing no weariness, no satiety, no end! For G.o.d is the Supreme Lover and there is nothing higher than Love!"
Here, on a sudden impulse, I took up the book, closed it and held it clasped in my two hands. As I did this, a great darkness overwhelmed me--a sound like thunder crashed on my ears, and I felt the whole room reeling into chaos. The floor sank, and I sank with it, down to a great depth so swiftly that I had no time to think what had happened till the sensation of falling stopped abruptly, and I found myself in a narrow green lane, completely shadowed by the wide boughs of over-arching trees. Hardly could I realise my surroundings when I saw Rafel!--Rafel Santoris himself walking towards me--but--not alone! The eager impulse to run to him was checked--I stood quiet, and cold to the heart. A woman was with him--a woman young and very beautiful--his arm was round her, and his eyes looked with unwearied tenderness at her face. I heard his voice--caressing, and infinitely gentle.
"Beloved!" he said--"I call you by this name as I have always called you through many cycles of time! Is it not strange that even the eager spirit, craving for its preordained mate, is subject to error? I thought I had found her whom I should love a little while before I met you--but this was a momentary blindness!--YOU are the one I have sought for many centuries!--YOU are the one and only beloved!--promise never to leave me again!" She answered--and I heard her murmur, soft as a sigh--"I promise!" Still walking together like lovers, they came on--I knew they must pa.s.s me,--and I stood in their way that Rafel Santoris at least might see me--might know that I had adventured into the House of Aselzion for his sake, and that so far I had not failed! If he were false, then surely the failure would be his! With a sickening heart I watched him approach,--his blue eyes rested on me carelessly with a cold smile--his fair companion glanced at me as at a stranger--and they moved on and pa.s.sed out of sight. I could not have spoken, had I tried--I was stricken dumb and feeble. This was the end, then? I had made my journey to no purpose,--he had already found another "subject"
for his influence!
Stunned and bewildered with the confusion of thought in my brain, I tried to walk a few paces, and found the ground soft as velvet, while a cool breeze blowing through the trees refreshed my aching forehead and eyes. I still held the book--"The Secret of Life"--and in a dull, aimless way thought how useless it was! What does Life matter if Love be untrue? The sun was shining somewhere above me, for I saw glinting reflections of it through the close boughs, and there were birds singing. But both beauty of sight and beauty of sound were lost to me--I had no real consciousness left save that the lover who professed to love me with an eternal love loved me no more! So the world was desolate, and heaven itself a blank!--death, and death alone seemed dear and desirable! I walked slowly and with difficulty--my limbs were languid, and I had lost all courage. If I could have found my way to Aselzion I would have told him--"This is enough! No more do I need the secret of youth or life, since love has left me."
Presently I began to think more coherently. A little while back I had heard voices behind a wall saying that Rafel Santoris was dead,--drowned in his own yacht "off Armadale, in Skye." If that was true how came he here? I questioned myself in vain,--till presently I gathered up sufficient force to remember that love--REAL love--knows no change. Did I believe in my lover"s love, or did I doubt it? That was a point for my own consideration! But, had I not the testimony of my own eyes? Was I not myselt the witness of his altered mind?
Here, seeing a rustic seat under one of the shadiest trees, I sat down, and my mind gradually steadied itself. Why, I inwardly asked, had I been so suddenly and forcibly brought into this place for no apparent reason save to look upon Rafel Santoris in the company of another woman whom it seemed that he now preferred to me? Ought that to make any difference in my love for him? "In love, if love be love, if love be ours, Faith and unfaith can ne"er be equal powers, Unfaith in aught is want of faith in all." If the happiness of the one I loved was obtained through other means than mine, ought I to grudge it? And yet!--my heart was full of a sick heaviness,--it seemed to me that I had lately been the possessor of an inestimable joy which had been ruthlessly s.n.a.t.c.hed from me. Still meditating in solitary sadness, I sat in the soft gloom wondering at the strange chance that had brought me into such a place, and, curiously enough, never thinking that the whole adventure might be the result of a pre-ordained design.
Presently, hearing slow footsteps approaching, I looked up and saw an aged man walking towards me, accompanied by a woman of gentle and matronly appearance who supported him on her arm. The looks of both these personages were kindly, and inspired confidence at a glance,--and I watched them coming with a kind of hope that perhaps they might explain my present dilemma. I was particularly attracted by the venerable and benevolent aspect of the man--and as he drew near, seeing that he evidently intended to speak to me, I rose from my seat, and made a step or two forward to meet him. He inclined his head courteously, and smiled upon me with a grave and compa.s.sionate air.
"I am very glad,"--he said, in a friendly tone--"that we have not come too late. We feared--did we not?" here he looked to his companion for confirmation of his words--"that you might have been hopelessly ensnared and victimised before we could come to the rescue."
"Alas, yes!" said the woman, in accents of deep pity; "And that would have been terrible indeed!"
I stared at them both, utterly bewildered. They spoke of rescue,--rescue from what? "Hopelessly ensnared and victimised." What did they mean? Since I had seen Rafel Santoris with another woman he called "beloved"--I had felt almost incapable of speech--but now I found my voice suddenly.
"I do not understand you"--I said, as clearly and firmly as I could--"I am here by my own desire, and I am not being ensnared or victimised.
Why should I need rescue?"
The old man shook his head compa.s.sionately.