Nay, he also tells us of himself, that by accident, he received a shock which in an instant brought him to the floor, without giving him time to _see, hear, or feel any thing of the matter_! Hence he concludes, and I think with good reason, that all who dread the idea of pain in dying, would do well to pray, if it be G.o.d"s will, to die of _coelataction_, as the ancients called it, or a _touch from heaven_.
It is worthy of remark, that persons thus knocked down, do not _stagger_, or fall _lengthwise_, but as if deprived instantaneously of strength and firmness, they sink down at once, doubled or folded together, or as we say, "_all in a heap_."
Dr. Franklin seldom suffered any thing to escape him. From the power of lightning to dissolve the hardest metals, he caught an idea favourable to cooking and matrimony. First, an old dunghill c.o.c.k killed in the morning by a shock from his electrical jar, by dinner was become so tender that both the doctor and several of his literary friends p.r.o.nounced it equal to a young pheasant. Second, an old bachelor thought to be far gone in a consumption, had hardly received more than a couple of dozen smart shocks of electricity, before he turned into courting with great spirit, and presently got himself a wife.
If electrical jars could be had cheap, this discovery concerning the old dunghill c.o.c.k might prove a good hint to those gentlemen in the _tavern-keeping_ line, who are so very frugal that they will not keep up a coop full of young poultry, fat and fine, and always ready for the traveller, but prefer giving him the pain, long after his arrival at their door, to hear the lean tenants of the dunghill flying and squalling from the pursuit of the barking dogs and noisy servants.
And as to the experiment on the other kind of old CAPON, the grunting wheezing old bachelor, it clearly points to the wish often expressed by Dr. Franklin, viz. "_that the legislature would order an electrical machine, large enough to kill a turkey c.o.c.k at least, to be placed in every parish, at the cost and for the benefit of all the old bachelors of the same_."
CHAPTER x.x.xVIII.
I have been told that Dr. Franklin on his death bed often returned thanks to G.o.d for having so kindly cast his lot of life in the very time when of all others he would have chosen to live for the great purposes of usefulness and pleasure. And so indeed it appears; for scarcely had he matured, as above, his most useful discoveries in electricity, before a new door was opened to him for another n.o.ble charity to his country.
Some there are who for a good work begun by themselves will do every thing; but for the same work begun by others will do nothing; and yet will call themselves christians. Franklin lived to set the example of a better christianity. A notable instance of this occurred about this time, 1754.
A Dr. Thomas Bond, having noticed a number of families so extremely poor, as to be in imminent danger not only of suffering grievously in case of sickness, but of actually perishing for want of wholesome food and medicine, generously undertook, by subscription, to build a hospital for these sufferers. Meeting with but little encouragement, and knowing Dr. Franklin"s influence and public spirit, he applied to him for a.s.sistance. Perfectly indifferent who got the praise, provided he but shared the pleasure of founding so G.o.d-like an inst.i.tution, Franklin entered very heartily into the plan with Dr. Bond, and inserted in his newspaper, a series of essays, "_on the great duty of charity to the sick and miserable_," which made such an impression on the public mind, that the n.o.ble sum of twelve thousand dollars was quickly subscribed. With this the trustees bought a lot, and finished one wing of their hospital, for immediate use. On the foundation stone is to be seen the following inscription by Dr. Franklin:
"In the year of Christ MDCCLV, George the Second, _happily reigning_, (For he sought the HAPPINESS OF HIS PEOPLE,) Philadelphia _flourishing_, (For its inhabitants were _public spirited_,) This Building By the bounty of the Government And of many private persons Was piously founded For the relief of the _sick_ and _miserable_. MAY THE G.o.d OF MERCIES BLESS THE UNDERTAKING!"
Never did benevolence put up an e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n more fervent. And never was one more signally answered. Indeed the blessings of heaven have been so signally showered on this excellent charity, that it now forms one of brightest ornaments of the fairest city in America, presenting to the delighted eye of humanity a n.o.ble front, of elevation and extent far beyond that of Solomon"s temple, even a royal range of buildings, two and three stories high, two hundred and seventy-eight feet long, and forty wide, containing about one hundred and thirty s.p.a.cious well-aired rooms, for the accommodation of the sick, wounded, and lunatic of every description; affectionately waited on by skilful physicians and active nurses; comforted by refreshing baths both hot and cold; and abundantly supplied with the best loaf bread, nice vegetables, fresh meats, soups, wines and medicines.
And while other parts of the city have been very sickly; and especially in the summer of 1793, when no fewer than 4000 persons perished of the yellow fever, not a single case of disease occurred in this hospital. The destroying angel as he pa.s.sed along, smelt the odour of that precious grace (charity) which embalmed the building, and let fall his avenging sword.
Gentlemen travellers falling sick in Philadelphia, will please be informed of this famous hospital, that if they wish excellent physicians, experienced nurses, pleasant chambers, pure air, and sweet retirement, they may here have all those of the first quality at _half price_; and _even_ THAT a _donation_ to the _Inst.i.tution_.
CHAPTER x.x.xIX.
Dr. Franklin, about this time, 1756, commenced his political career.
When we see some peerless _Childers_, (whose figure almost proves the divinity of matter, and who in matchless speed leaves the stormy winds behind him,) bending under the weight of a miller"s bag, or tugging at the hames of some drunken carman, how can we otherwise than mourn such a prost.i.tution of excellences; so how can we but mourn, when we see such a man as Franklin, born for those divine arts which widen our empire over nature, and multiply a thousand-fold the comforts of life, wasting his precious time in combatting the unreasonable claims of selfish and wicked man?
This, for a portion of his eventful life, was the sad destiny of Dr.
Franklin. Scarcely had he pa.s.sed his first forty years in his favourite philosophical labours, equally useful to the world, and delightful to himself, when he was at once stopped short--stopped by the voice of public grat.i.tude. The wise and virtuous people of Pennsylvania, chiefly quakers, who estimate a man, not by the fineness of his coat, but the _usefulness_ of his life, were not to overlook such a man as Franklin. His astonishing industry, and his many valuable inventions, had long made him the favourite theme of their talk. But it was not for approbation so general and hearty, to be satisfied with _mere talk._
_What shall be done for the man whom the people delighteth to honour?_ was the question in every circle. _G.o.d, they said, has lighted up this candle for our use, it must not be hid under a bushel. Let it be placed on the great candlestick of the nation, the_ LEGISLATURE. So strong, indeed, was the public feeling in his favour, that from several of the wards, deputations were appointed to wait upon him, to beg he would serve the city as their representative in the house of burgesses.
The sight of his name in the papers, as a candidate at the next election, to serve the city of Philadelphia, gave a general joy. Among his opponents were several of the wealthiest citizens, who had long served as representatives, and whose numerous friends could not bear the idea of their being turned out. Great exertions were made on both sides; and the polls were uncommonly crowded. But when the contest came to issue, it was found that the Philadelphia printer, and son of the good old psalm-singing Boston tallow-chandler, carried the day with great ease.
_O ye simple ones, how long will you love simplicity!_ you, I mean, who can once a year look sweetly on your const.i.tuents, and once a year invite them to barbacues, and make them drunk with whiskey, thus ign.o.bly begging those votes which you feel you have not the sense to deserve, O learn from this your great countryman, wherein consists the true art of electioneering; not in ign.o.ble tricks like these, to court the little, but in high qualifications, like Dr. Franklin"s, to be courted by the great.
The exalted expectations formed of him by the public were not disappointed. Heartily a lover of man and the friend of equal rights, he had scarcely taken his seat in the legislature before he had to turn the torrent of his honest indignation against the _proprietaries_ and their creatures the _Governors_.
The reader will please here be reminded that in the year 1680, that great GOOD man, William Penn, a quaker, was paid off a large claim against Charles II. of England, by a grant of lands in North America.
To make the best of a bad bargain, honest William gathered together a caravan of his poor persecuted brethren, and taking ship came over to North America.
The good angel that guided the steps of pious Jacob as he sojourned from Padan-aram to the land Uz, seeking a rest, guided Penn and his gentle followers to the mouth of the Delaware bay. He followed the stately flood in all its wanderings among the green marshes and forests of the new found world, until he reached the pleasant spot where now Philadelphia stands. The majestic grove that shaded the extended level on the western bank, bordered on the back by the beautiful serpentine river called by the natives, the SCHUYLKILL, struck his eye as a fine site for his future city.
Abhorring the idea of killing his fellow men, the poor natives, and taking away their lands, he sent around among them the Calumet, or _pipe of peace_, inviting them to "A FRIENDLY TALK." Painted in red ochre, and decked in all the savage pomp of wild skins and feathers, the kings of the soil with all their simple tribes a.s.sembled themselves together. The meeting was in the summer of 1681, under the trees near the margin of the great river. The scene was lovely to the eye of humanity. The red and white men from different continents were seen to meet, not as enemies for mutual slaughter, but as brothers for loving commerce. The sh.o.r.es were covered with British merchandize. The eyes of the simple children of nature sparkled on those rich wares, the like of which they had never seen before.
Penn gave them every thing. He gave them precious axes to master the forests; and still more magic guns to master the wolves and panthers.
He gave them warm clothes for defence against the cold, and plough-shares and hoes for plentiful harvests. In return they gave him that large tract of land in their country, which, in honour of this good man, has been called Pennsylvania. Instantly the aged forests began to resound with the strokes of axes and the crash of falling trees. And the corner stone was laid of the new city, which, with great propriety, was named of Penn, PHILADELPHIA, or the city of _brotherly love_.
Having thus laid, the foundation of this colony in JUSTICE to the poor natives, and in generosity to his own followers in the great cheapness of his lands, in perfect liberty of conscience, and in the exceeding moderation of his government, this wise statesman then looked to G.o.d for his blessings. Nor did he look in vain, The fame of "PENN COLONY"
resounded throughout Great Britain. An immense emigration were quickly on their way to Pennsylvania. The young city grew apace, and farms and fair buildings in the country, spread in every direction with a rapidity unequalled in history.
But alas! when honest William fell asleep, there rose after him a race of heirs "_who knew not Joseph_;" who not content, _like him_, with modest drab, and simple dinners, and aspiring to the true happiness of imitating G.o.d in G.o.dlike loves and deeds, basely prost.i.tuted their hearts to carnal l.u.s.ts and pride.
The worship of these G.o.ds, though contemptible, is costly; and to these _wet-quaker_ successors of the good William Penn, nothing promised such a swelling revenue as a bold rise in the price of their lands. And in this pitiful kind of management they soon gave the Pennsylvanians to understand that like Rehoboam of old, "_their little fingers were heavier than their father"s loins_." I have not been able to procure any thing like certainty as to the sum that GOOD William Penn gave to the natives for the vast tract of land he purchased of them. But that he hardly gave at the rate of a _hatchet_ for what is now a n.o.ble farm, may be very fairly inferred. In 1754, which was seventy years later than the first purchase, the house of Penn bought of the Indians seven millions of acres lying within the ROYAL GRANT.
And what do you suppose they gave for it? what do you suppose they gave for seven millions of acres of rich, heavy timbered Pennsylvania land? why not quite two thousand dollars! not _three cents_ the hundred acres! And what do you suppose they immediately asked for it?
why _fifteen pounds ten shillings!_ near fifty thousand cents per hundred acres! And yet with such a bank of millions in hand they were not willing to bear their part of the taxes for public good!!
Like the starched Pharisees of old, they could throw heavy weights on other men"s shoulders, but not suffer a fly to light on theirs. They could smile when they saw the officer going round with his ink horn and pen, noting down the poor man"s paddock, but if he but looked at their princely manors and parks they would make the whole colony ring with it.
Grown beyond calculation rich by the sales and rents of their lands in America, they scorned the country of their ill.u.s.trious predecessor, and went over to London, where they mimicked the pride and pageantry of princes.
Thinking they did the obscure Pennsylvanians honour enough to govern them by _proxy_, they washed their hands of the poor colony government, and sent them over deputies. These, hirelings, to augment their salaries, soon commenced a course of oppressions on the people, whom they treated with great insolence.
It were too great an honour to those wretches to set the people of the present day to reading their insolent messages to the legislature.
They were always, however, very properly chastised by Dr. Franklin; sometimes in the columns of his own popular newspaper, and sometimes in the a.s.sembly. Not, indeed, by long and eloquent orations, for which he either had no talent, or declined it, preferring the pithy and pungent _anecdote_ or _story_, which was always so admirably appropriate, and withal so keen in wit and truth, that like a flash from his own lightning rods, it never failed to demolish the fairest fabric of sophistry, and cause even its greatest admirers to blush that they had been so fascinated by its false glare.
In 1756, he was appointed deputy post-master general for the British colonies. It is a.s.serted that in _his_ hands, the post-office in America yielded annually thrice as much as did that of Ireland. An extraordinary proof of our pa.s.sion for reading and writing beyond the Irish. Perhaps it was owing to this that we saved our liberties, while they lost theirs.
Several of the middle colonies suffering much at this time from Indian depredations on their frontiers, it was agreed among them to send commissioners to Albany to devise means for mutual defence. Dr.
Franklin, commissioner on the part of Pennsylvania, had the honour to draw up a plan, which was thought excellent. Knowing the colonists to be the best marksmen in the world, and supposing it infinitely safer that the defence of their own firesides should be entrusted to them than to British hirelings, he had with his usual sagacity recommended that muskets and powder should be put into their hands.
But when his plan was presented to the KING and COUNCIL for ratification, it was indignantly rejected. It was thought by some that hardly could Satan and his black janisaries have been more seriously offended, had a cargo of Bibles and hymn books been recommended for their pandemonium.
The truth is, the British ministry had for a long time depressed the unfortunate Americans into mere _hewers of wood and drawers of water_, by making them bring all their rich produce of tobaccos, furs, &c. to English ports, and there give them the meanest prices; sometimes a penny, and even half a penny a pound for their brightest tobacco, which they would the next hour sell to the Dutch merchants for two shillings a pound. To preserve such a trade as this, as Lord Howe ingenuously confessed, from going into any other channel, was a grand object to the ministry. But this they could not long count on, if the Americans were furnished with muskets, cannon, and powder. They therefore, very prudently, determined to leave Dr. Franklin"s _excellent marksmen_ out of the question, and confide to their own creatures the protection of a country whose trade could so _well repay them for it_.
But their folly in preferring such troops was soon made evident, as Franklin had predicted. In the spring of 1755, two thousand veterans, the elite of the British military, were sent over to drive the French from the Ohio. One half that number of Virginia riflemen would have done the business completely. But such was the ministerial jealousy of the American riflemen, and so great their dread to embody and arm that kind of troops, that they permitted no more than three companies to join the army. And even these were so ludicrously scrimped up by governor Dinwiddie, in jackets scarcely reaching to their waists, that they became a mere laughing stock of the British army, who never called them by any other name than the "VIRGINIA SHORT RUMPS." Many believed that this was done purposely, that by being thus constantly laughed at, they might be _cowed_ thereby, and be led to think meanly of themselves, as quite an inferior sort of beings to the MIGHTY ENGLISH. But blessed be G.o.d whose providence always takes part with the oppressed. A few short weeks only elapsed when this motley army was led, by an incautious commander, into a fatal ambuscade of the French and Indians--general Braddock, at the head of his 2000 British veterans, and young George Washington at the head of his two hundred "_Virginia short rumps_." Then was displayed the soundness of Dr.
Franklin"s judgment, in the wide difference, as to _self-possession and hard fighting_, between these two kind of troops.
The conceited Englishmen behaved no better than WILD TURKIES; while the despised "_Virginia short rumps_" fought like lions, and had the glory of saving the wreck of the British army.
This sad defeat had like to have ruined doctor Franklin, by whose credit with the Pennsylvanians, colonel Dunbar of the rear guard of his army, had been furnished with fifty wagons, which were all burnt on the retreat. His escape from this danger was owing to the generosity of governor Shirley, who learning that Franklin had incurred this debt on account of the British government, undertook to discharge it.
Seeing no end to the vexation and expense brought on the colony by those selfish beings, the PROPRIETARIES, the a.s.sembly came at length, to the resolution to pet.i.tion the king to abolish the proprietary government, and take the colony under his own care. Doctor Franklin was appointed to the honour of presenting this pet.i.tion to his majesty George II. and sailed for England, June, 1757.
Learning at last that by obstinately contending for _too much_, they might possibly lose _all_, the proprietaries signified to doctor Franklin a willingness that their land should be _taxed_.
After the completion of this important business, Franklin remained at the court of Great Britain as agent for the province of Pennsylvania.