That a part of this effect--most of it, in fact--lay in the role of _Lillian_ they had not penetration enough to distinguish; they began to doubt whether she had ever been the very great success and the powerful woman they had supposed her to be.
The play did not really close, the audience began to dribble out before the last half of the act began, and the curtain went down on the final scene while scores of women were putting on their wraps. A loyal few called Helen before the curtain, and her brave attempt to smile made every friendly heart bleed.
Dougla.s.s, stiff and sore, as one who has been cudgelled, rose with the crowd and made his way to one of the outside exits, eager to escape recognition, to become one of the indistinguishable figures of the street.
A couple of tousled-headed students going down the stairway before him tossed him his first and only crumb of comfort. "It won"t go, of course," said one, in a tone of conviction, "but it"s a great play all the same."
"Right, old man," replied the other, with the decision of a master.
"It"s too good for this town. What New York wants is a continuous variety show."
Dougla.s.s knew keenly, deeply, that Helen needed him--was looking for him--but the thought of those who would be near at their meeting made his entrance of the stage door impossible. He walked aimlessly, drifting with the current up the street, throbbing, tense, and hot with anger, shame, and despair. At the moment all seemed lost--his play, his own position, and Helen. Helen would surely drop him. The incredible had happened--he had not merely defeated himself, he had brought battle and pain and a stinging reproof to a splendid, triumphant woman. The enormous egotism involved in this he did not at the moment apprehend. He was like a wounded animal, content merely to escape.
He longed to reach her, to beg her pardon, to absolve her from any promise, and yet he could not face Westervelt. He revolted at the thought of meeting Royleston and Miss Carmichael and Hugh. "No; it is impossible. I will wait for her at the hotel."
At this word he was filled with a new terror. "The clerks and the bell-boys will have learned of my failure. I cannot face them to-night."
And he turned and fled as if confronted by serpents. "And yet I must send a message. I must thank Helen and set her free. She must not go through another such night for my sake."
He ended by dropping into another hotel to write her a pa.s.sionate note, which he sent by a messenger:
"Forgive me for the part I have played in bringing this disaster upon you. I had no idea that anything I could say or do would so deeply injure you--you the Wondrous One. It was incredible--their disdain of you. I was a fool, a selfish boaster, to allow you to go into this thing. The possible loss of money we both discussed, but that any words of mine could injure you as an artist never came to me. Believe me, my dearest friend, I am astounded. I am crushed with the thought, and I dare not show my face among your friends. I feel like an a.s.sa.s.sin. I will call to-morrow--I can"t do it to-night. I am bleeding at the heart because I have made you share the shame and failure which I feel to-night are always to be mine.
I was born to be of the minority. Please don"t give another thought to me or my play. Go your own way. Get back to the plays that please people. Be happy. You have the right to be happy, and I am a selfish, unthinking criminal whom you would better forget. Don"t waste another dollar or another moment on my play--it is madness.
I am overwhelmed with my debt to you, but I shall repay it some day."
IX
Helen was more deeply hurt and humiliated by her playwright"s flight than by the apparent failure of the play, but the two experiences coming together fairly stunned her. To have the curtain go down on her final scenes to feeble and hesitating applause was a new and painful experience. Never since her first public reading had she failed to move and interest her audience. What had happened? What had so swiftly weakened her hold on her admirers? Up to that moment she had been sure that she could make any character successful.
For a few moments she stood in the middle of the stage stifling with a sense of mortification and defeat, then turned, and without a word or look to any one went to her dressing-room.
Her maid was deeply sympathetic, and by sudden impulse stooped and kissed her cheek, saying, "Never mind, Miss Merival, it was beautiful."
This unexpected caress brought the tears to the proud girl"s eyes.
"Thank you, Nora. Some of the audience will agree with you, I hope."
"I"m sure of it, miss. Don"t be downcast."
Hugh knocked at the door. "Can you come out?"
"Not now, Hugh. In a few moments."
"There are some people here to see you--"
She wanted to say, "I don"t want to see them," but she only said, "Please ask them to wait."
She knew by the tone of her brother"s voice that he, too, was choking with indignation, and she dreaded the meeting with him and with Westervelt. She was sustained by the hope that Dougla.s.s would be there to share her punishment. "Why had he not shown himself?" she asked again, with growing resentment.
When she came out fully dressed she looked tired and pale, but her head was high and her manner proudly self-contained.
Westervelt, surrounded by a small group of depressed auditors, among whom were Mrs. MacDavitt, Hugh, and Royleston, was holding forth in a kind of bellow. "It proves what? Simply that they will not have her in these preachy domestic parts, that"s all. Every time she tries it she gets a "knock." I complain, I advise to the contrary. Does it do any good? No. She must chance it, all to please this crank, this reformer."
The mother, reading the disappointment and suffering in Helen"s white face, reached for her tremulously and drew her to her bosom. "Never mind what they say, Nellie; it was beautiful and it was true."
Even Westervelt was awed by the calm look Helen turned on the group.
"You are very sure of yourself, Mr. Westervelt, but to my mind this night only proves that this audience came to hear me without intelligent design." She faced the silent group with white and weary face.
"Certainly Mr. Dougla.s.s"s play is not for such an audience as that which has been gathering to see me as _The Baroness_, but that does not mean that I have no other audience. There is a public for me in this higher work. If there isn"t, I will retire."
Westervelt threw his hands in the air with a tragic gesture. "Retire! My Gott, that would be insanity!"
Helen turned. "Come, mother, you are tired, and so am I. Mr. Westervelt, this is no place for this discussion. Good-night." She bowed to the friends who had loyally gathered to greet her. "I am grateful to you for your sympathy."
There was, up to this time, no word of the author; but Hugh, as he walked by her side, broke out resentfully, "Do you know that beggar playwright--"
"Not a word of him, Hugh," she said. "You don"t know what that poor fellow is suffering. Our disappointment is nothing in comparison with his. Think of what he has lost."
"Nonsense! He has lost nothing, because he had nothing to lose. He gets us involved--"
"Hugh!" There was something in her utterance of his name which silenced him more effectually than a blow. "I produced this play of my own free will," she added, a moment later, "and I will take the responsibility of it."
In the carriage the proud girl leaned back against the cushions, and pressed her two hands to her aching eyes, from which the tears streamed.
It was all so tragically different from their antic.i.p.ations. They were to have had a little supper of jubilation together, to talk it all over, to review the evening"s triumph, and now here she sat chill with disappointment, while he was away somewhere in the great, heartless city suffering tortures, alone and despairing.
The sweet, old mother put her arm about her daughter"s waist.
"Don"t cry, dearie; it will all come right. You can endure one failure.
"Tis not as bad as it seems."
Helen did not reply as she was tempted to do by saying, "It isn"t my defeat, it is his failure to stand beside me and receive his share of the disaster." And they rode the rest of the way in sad silence.
As she entered her room a maid handed her a letter which she knew to be from Dougla.s.s even before she saw the handwriting, and, without opening it, pa.s.sed on into her room. "His message is too sacred for any other to see," she said to herself, with instant apprehension of the bitter self-accusation with which he had written.
The suffering expressed by the scrawling lines softened her heart, her anger died away, and only big tears of pity filled her glorious eyes.
"Poor boy! His heart is broken." And a desire to comfort him swelled her bosom with a pa.s.sion almost maternal in its dignity. Now that his pride was humbled, his strong figure bowed, his clear brain in turmoil, her woman"s tenderness sought him and embraced him without shame. Her own strength and resolution came back to her. "I will save you from yourself," she said, softly.
When she returned to the reception-room she found Westervelt and Hugh and several of the leading actors (who took the evening"s "frost" as a reflection on themselves, an injury to their reputations), all in excited clamor; but when they saw their star enter they fell silent, and Westervelt, sweating with excitement, turned to meet her.
"You must not go on. It is not the money alone; it will ruin you with the public. It is not for you to lecture the people. They will not have it. Such a failure I have never seen. It was not a "frost," it was a frozen solid. We will announce _The Baroness_ for to-morrow. The pressmen are waiting below. I shall tell them?" His voice rose in question.
"Mr. Westervelt, this is my answer, and it is final. I will not take the play off, and I shall expect you to work with your best energy to make it a success. One night does not prove _Lillian_ a failure. The audience to-night was not up to it, but that condemns the auditors, not the play.
I do not wish to hear any more argument. Good-night."
The astounded and crestfallen manager bowed his head and went out.
Helen turned to the others. "I am tired of this discussion. One would think the sky had fallen--from all this tumult. I am sorry for you, Mr.
Royleston, but you are no deeper in the slough than Miss Collins and the rest, and they are not complaining. Now let us sit down to our supper and talk of something else."