"The whole thing," he conceded, "was a bit unfortunate."
Derek began to pace the room.
"Freddie!"
"On the spot, old man!"
"Something"s got to be done!"
"Absolutely!" Freddie nodded solemnly. He had taken this matter greatly to heart. Derek was his best friend, and he had always been extremely fond of him. It hurt him to see things going wrong. "I"ll tell you what, old bean. Let me handle this binge for you."
"You?"
"Me! The Final Rooke!" He jumped up, and leaned against the mantelpiece. "I"m the lad to do it. I"ve known Jill for years. She"ll listen to me. I"ll talk to her like a Dutch uncle and make her understand the general scheme of things. I"ll take her out to tea tomorrow and slang her in no uncertain voice! Leave the whole thing to me, laddie!"
Derek considered.
"It might do some good," he said.
"Good?" said Freddie. "It"s _it_, dear boy! It"s a wheeze! You toddle off to bed and have a good sleep. I"ll fix the whole thing for you!"
CHAPTER FIVE
1.
There are streets in London into which the sun seems never to penetrate. Some of these are in fashionable quarters, and it is to be supposed that their inhabitants find an address which looks well on note-paper a sufficient compensation for the gloom that goes with it.
The majority, however, are in the mean neighborhoods of the great railway termini, and appear to offer no compensation whatever. They are lean, furtive streets, gray as the January sky with a sort of arrested decay. They smell of cabbage and are much prowled over by vagrom cats. At night they are empty and dark, and a stillness broods on them, broken only by the cracked tingle of an occasional piano playing one of the easier hymns, a form of music to which the dwellers in the dingy houses are greatly addicted. By day they achieve a certain animation through the intermittent appearance of women in ap.r.o.ns, who shake rugs out of the front doors or, emerging from areas, go down to the public-house on the corner with jugs to fetch the supper-beer. In almost every ground-floor window there is a card announcing that furnished lodgings may be had within. You will find these streets by the score if you leave the main thoroughfares and take a short cut on your way to Euston, to Paddington, or to Waterloo. But the dingiest and deadliest and most depressing lie round about Victoria. And Daubeny Street, Pimlico, is one of the worst of them all.
On the afternoon following the events recorded, a girl was dressing in the ground-floor room of Number Nine, Daubeny Street. A tray bearing the remains of a late breakfast stood on the rickety table beside a bowl of wax flowers. From beneath the table peered the green cover of a copy of _Variety_. A gray parrot in a cage by the window cracked seed and looked out into the room with a satirical eye. He had seen all this so many times before,--Nelly Bryant arraying herself in her smartest clothes to go out and besiege agents in their offices off the Strand. It happened every day. In an hour or two she would come back as usual, say "Oh, Gee!" in a tired sort of voice, and then Bill the parrot"s day proper would begin. He was a bird who liked the sound of his own voice, and he never got the chance of a really sustained conversation till Nelly returned in the evening.
"Who cares?" said Bill, and cracked another seed.
If rooms are an indication of the characters of their occupants, Nelly Bryant came well out of the test of her surroundings. Nothing can make a London furnished room much less horrible than it intends to be, but Nelly had done her best. The furniture, what there was of it, was of that lodging-house kind which resembles nothing else in the world. But a few little touches here and there, a few instinctively tasteful alterations in the general scheme of things, had given the room almost a cosy air. Later on, with the gas lit, it would achieve something approaching homeiness. Nelly, like many another nomad, had taught herself to accomplish a good deal with poor material. On the road in America, she had sometimes made even a bedroom in a small hotel tolerably comfortable, than which there is no greater achievement. Oddly, considering her life, she had a genius for domesticity.
Today, not for the first time, Nelly was feeling unhappy. The face that looked back at her out of the mirror at which she was arranging her most becoming hat was weary. It was only a moderately pretty face, but loneliness and underfeeding had given it a wistful expression that had charm. Unfortunately, it was not the sort of charm which made a great appeal to the stout, whisky-nourished men who sat behind paper-littered tables, smoking cigars, in the rooms marked "Private" in the offices of theatrical agents. Nelly had been out of a "shop" now for many weeks,--ever since, in fact, "Follow the Girl" had finished its long ran at the Regal Theatre.
"Follow the Girl," an American musical comedy, had come over from New York with an American company, of which Nelly had been a humble unit, and, after playing a year in London and some weeks in the number one towns, had returned to New York. It did not cheer Nelly up in the long evenings in Daubeny Street to reflect that, if she had wished, she could have gone home with the rest of the company. A mad impulse had seized her to try her luck in London, and here she was now, marooned.
"Who cares?" said Bill.
For a bird who enjoyed talking he was a little limited in his remarks and apt to repeat himself.
"I do, you poor fish!" said Nelly, completing her maneuvers with the hat and turning to the cage. "It"s all right for you--you have a swell time with nothing to do but sit there and eat seed--but how do you suppose I enjoy tramping around, looking for work and never finding any?"
She picked up her gloves. "Oh, well!" she said. "Wish me luck!"
"Good-bye, boy!" said the parrot, clinging to the bars.
Nelly thrust a finger into the cage and scratched his head.
"Anxious to get rid of me, aren"t you? Well, so long."
"Good-bye, boy!"
"All right, I"m going. Be good!"
"Woof-woof-woof!" barked Bill the parrot, not committing himself to any promises.
For some moments after Nelly had gone he remained hunched on his perch, contemplating the infinite. Then he sauntered along to the seed-box and took some more light nourishment. He always liked to spread his meals out, to make them last longer. A drink of water to wash the food down, and he returned to the middle of the cage, where he proceeded to conduct a few intimate researches with his beak under his left wing. After which he mewed like a cat, and relapsed into silent meditation once more. He closed his eyes and pondered on his favorite problem--Why was he a parrot? This was always good for an hour or so, and it was three o"clock before he had come to his customary decision that he didn"t know. Then, exhausted by brain-work and feeling a trifle hipped by the silence of the room, he looked about him for some way of jazzing existence up a little. It occurred to him that if he barked again it might help.
"Woof-woof-woof!"
Good as far as it went, but it did not go far enough. It was not real excitement. Something rather more dashing seemed to him to be indicated. He hammered for a moment or two on the floor of his cage, ate a mouthful of the newspaper there, and stood with his head on one side, chewing thoughtfully. It didn"t taste as good as usual. He suspected Nelly of having changed his _Daily Mail_ for the _Daily Express_ or something. He swallowed the piece of paper, and was struck by the thought that a little climbing exercise might be what his soul demanded. (You hang on by your beak and claws and work your way up to the roof. It sounds tame, but it"s something to do.) He tried it. And, as he gripped the door of the cage, it swung open.
Bill the parrot now perceived that this was going to be one of those days. He had not had a bit of luck like this for months.
For awhile he sat regarding the open door. Unless excited by outside influences, he never did anything in a hurry. Then proceeding cautiously, he pa.s.sed out into the room. He had been out there before, but always chaperoned by Nelly. This was something quite different. It was an adventure. He hopped onto the window-sill. There was a ball of yellow wool there, but he had lunched and could eat nothing. He cast around in his mind for something to occupy him, and perceived suddenly that the world was larger than he had supposed.
Apparently there was a lot of it outside the room. How long this had been going on, he did not know, but obviously it was a thing to be investigated. The window was open at the bottom, and just outside the window were what he took to be the bars of another and larger cage.
As a matter of fact they were the railings which afforded a modest protection to Number Nine. They ran the length of the house, and were much used by small boys as a means of rattling sticks. One of these stick-rattlers pa.s.sed as Bill stood there looking down. The noise startled him for a moment, then he seemed to come to the conclusion that this sort of thing was to be expected if you went out into the great world and that a parrot who intended to see life must not allow himself to be deterred by trifles. He crooned a little, and finally, stepping in a stately way over the window-sill, with his toes turned in at right angles, caught at the top of the railing with his beak, and proceeded to lower himself. Arrived at the level of the street, he stood looking out.
A dog trotted up, spied him, and came to sniff.
"Good-bye, boy!" said Bill chattily.
The dog was taken aback. Hitherto, in his limited experience, birds had been birds and men men. Here was a blend of the two. What was to be done about it? He barked tentatively, then, finding that nothing disastrous ensued, pushed his nose between two of the bars and barked again. Any one who knew Bill could have told him that he was asking for it, and he got it. Bill leaned forward and nipped his nose. The dog started back with a howl of agony. He was learning something new every minute.
"Woof-woof-woof!" said Bill sardonically.
He perceived trousered legs, four of them, and, c.o.c.king his eye upwards, saw that two men of the lower orders stood before him. They were gazing down at him in the stolid manner peculiar to the proletariat of London in the presence of the unusual. For some minutes they stood drinking him in, then one of them gave judgment.
"It"s a parrot!" He removed a pipe from his mouth and pointed with the stem. "A perishin" parrot, that is, Erb."
"Ah!" said Erb, a man of few words.
"A parrot," proceeded the other. He was seeing clearer into the matter every moment. "That"s a parrot, that is, Erb. My brother Joe"s wife"s sister "ad one of "em. Come from abroad, _they_ do. My brother Joe"s wife"s sister "ad one of "em. Red-"aired gel she was. Married a feller down at the Docks. _She_ "ad one of "em. Parrots they"re called."
He bent down for a closer inspection, and inserted a finger through the railings. Erb abandoned his customary taciturnity and spoke words of warning.
"Tike care "e don"t sting yer, "Enry!"
Henry seemed wounded.
"Woddyer mean sting me? I know all abart parrots, I do. My brother Joe"s wife"s sister "ad one of "em. They don"t "urt yer, not if you"re kind to "em. You know yer pals when you see "em, don"t yer, mate?" he went on, addressing Bill, who was contemplating the finger with one half-closed eye.
"Good-bye, boy," said the parrot, evading the point.
"Jear that?" cried Henry delightedly. "Goo"-bye, boy!" "Uman they are!"