"But," she objected, "you"ve told me a curious story of one who never had a chance or incentive to "go straight"--as you put it. And yet you seem to think that an overnight resolution to reform is all that"s needed to change all the habits of a life-time. You persuade me of your sincerity of today; but how will it be with you tomorrow--and not so much tomorrow as six months from tomorrow, when you"ve found the going rough and know you"ve only to take one step aside to gain a smooth and easy way?"
"If I fail, then, it will be because I"m unfit--and I"ll go under, and never be heard of again.... But I shan"t fail. It seems to me the very fact that I want to go straight is proof enough that I"ve something inherently decent in me to build on."
"I do believe that, and yet..." She lowered her head and began to trace a meaningless pattern on the cloth before she resumed. "You"ve given me to understand I"m responsible for your sudden awakening, that it"s because of a regard conceived for me you"re so anxious to become an honest man. Suppose ... suppose you were to find out ... you"d been mistaken in me?"
"That isn"t possible," he objected promptly.
She smiled upon him wistfully--and leniently from her remote coign of superior intuitive knowledge of human nature.
"But if it were--?"
"Then--I think," he said soberly--"I think I"d feel as though there were nothing but emptiness beneath my feet!"
"And you"d backslide--?"
"How can I tell?" he expostulated. "It"s not a fair question. I don"t know what I"d do, but I do know it would need something d.a.m.nable to shake my faith in you!"
"You think so now," she said tolerantly. "But if appearances were against me--"
"They"d have to be black!"
"If you found I had deceived you--?"
"Miss Shannon!" He threw an arm across the table and suddenly imprisoned her hand. "There"s no use beating about the bush. You"ve got to know--"
She drew back suddenly with a frightened look and a monosyllable of sharp protest: "No!"
"But you must listen to me. I want you to understand.... Bourke used to say to me: "The man who lets love into his life opens a door no mortal hand can close--and G.o.d only knows what will follow in!" And Bourke was right.... Now that door is open in my heart, and I think that whatever follows in won"t be evil or degrading.... Oh, I"ve said it a dozen different ways of indirection, but I may as well say it squarely now: I love you; it"s love of you makes me want to go straight--the hope that when I"ve proved myself you"ll maybe let me ask you to marry me....
Perhaps you"re in love with a better man today; I"m willing to chance that; a year brings many changes. Perhaps there"s something I don"t fathom in your doubting my strength and constancy. Only the outcome can declare that. But please understand this: if I fail to make good, it will be no fault of yours; it will be because I"m unfit and have proved it.... All I ask is what you"ve generously promised me: opportunity to come to you at the end of the year and make my report.... And then, if you will, you can say no to the question I"ll ask you and I shan"t resent it, and it won"t ruin me; for if a man can stick to a purpose for a year, he can stick to it forever, with or without the love of the woman he loves."
She heard him out without attempt at interruption, but her answer was prefaced by a sad little shake of her head.
"That"s what makes it so hard, so terribly hard," she said.... "Of course I"ve understood you. All that you"ve said by indirection, and much besides, has had its meaning to me. And I"m glad and proud of the honour you offer me. But I can"t accept it; I can never accept it--not now nor a year from now. It wouldn"t be fair to let you go on hoping I might some time consent to marry you.... For that"s impossible."
"You--forgive me--you"re not already married?"
"No...."
"Or promised?"
"No...."
"Or in love with someone else?"
Again she told him, gently, "No."
His face cleared. He squared his shoulders. He even mustered up a smile.
"Then it isn"t impossible. No human obstacle exists that time can"t overthrow. In spite of all you say, I shall go on hoping with all my heart and soul and strength."
"But you don"t understand--"
"Can you tell me--make me understand?"
After a long pause, she told him once more, and very sadly: "No."
XV
SHEER IMPUDENCE
Though it had been nearly eight when they entered the restaurant, it was something after eleven before Lanyard called for his bill.
"We"ve plenty of time," he had explained; "it"ll be midnight before we can move. The gentle art of house-breaking has its technique, you know, its professional ethics: we can"t well violate the privacy of Madame Omber"s strong-box before the caretakers on the premises are sound asleep. It isn"t _done_, you know, it isn"t cla.s.s, to go burglarizing when decent, law-abiding folk are wide-awake.... Meantime we"re better off here than trapezing the streets...."
It"s a silent web of side ways and a gloomy one by night that backs up north of Les Halles: old Paris, taciturn and sombre, steeped in its memories of grim romance. But for infrequent, flickering, corner lamps, the street that welcomed them from the doors of the warm and cosy restaurant was as dismal as an alley in some city of the dead. Its houses with their mansard roofs and boarded windows bent their heads together like mutes at a wake, black-cloaked and hooded; seldom one showed a light; never one betrayed by any sound the life that lurked behind its jealous blinds. Now again the rain had ceased and, though the sky remained overcast, the atmosphere was clear and brisk with a touch of frost, in grateful contrast to the dull and muggy airs that had obtained for the last twenty-four hours.
"We"ll walk," Lanyard suggested--"if you don"t mind--part of the way at least; it"ll eat up time, and a bit of exercise will do us both good."
The girl a.s.sented quietly....
The drum of their heels on fast-drying sidewalks struck sharp echoes from the silence of that drowsy quarter, a lonely clamour that rendered it impossible to ignore their apparent solitude--as impossible as it was for Lanyard to ignore the fact that they were followed.
The shadow d.o.g.g.i.ng them on the far side of the street, some fifty yards behind, was as noiseless as any cat; but for this circ.u.mstance--had it moved boldly with unm.u.f.fled footsteps--Lanyard would have been slow to believe it concerned with him, so confident had be felt, till that moment, of having given the Pack the slip.
And from this he diagnosed still another symptom of the Pack"s incurable stupidity!
Supremely on the alert, he had discovered the pursuit before they left the block of the restaurant. Dissembling, partly to avoid alarming the girl, partly to trick the spy, he turned this way and that round several corners, until quite convinced that the shadow was dedicated to himself exclusively, then promptly revised his first purpose and, instead of sticking to darker back ways, struck out directly for the broad, well-lighted and lively boulevard de Sebastopol.
Crossing this without a backward glance, he turned north, seeking some cafe whose arrangements suited his designs; and, presently, though not before their tramp had brought them almost to the Grand Boulevards, found one to his taste, a cheerful and well-lighted establishment occupying a corner, with entrances from both streets. A hedge of forlorn fir-trees knee-deep in wooden tubs guarded its terra.s.se of round metal tables and spindle-shanked chairs; of which few were occupied. Inside, visible through the wide plate-gla.s.s windows, perhaps a dozen patrons sat round half as many tables--no more--idling over dominoes and gossip: steady-paced burghers with their wives, men in small ways of business of the neighbourhood.
Entering to this company, Lanyard selected a square marble-topped table against the back wall, entrenched himself with the girl upon the seat behind it, ordered coffee and writing materials, and proceeded to light a cigarette with the nonchalance of one to whom time is of no consequence.
"What is it?" the girl asked guardedly as the waiter scurried off to execute his commands. "You"ve not stopped in here for nothing!"
"True--but lower, please!" he begged. "If we speak English loud enough to be heard it will attract attention.... The trouble is, we"re followed. But as yet our faithful shadow doesn"t know we know it--unless he"s more intelligent than he seems. Consequently, if I don"t misjudge him, he"ll take a table outside, the better to keep an eye on us, as soon as he sees we"re apparently settled for some time.
More than that, I"ve got a note to write--and not merely as a subterfuge. This fellow must be shaken off, and as long as we stick together, that can"t well be done."
He interrupted himself while the waiter served them, then added sugar to his coffee, arranged the ink bottle and paper to his satisfaction, and bent over his pen.
"Come closer," he requested--"as if you were interested in what I"m writing--and amused; if you can laugh a bit at nothing, so much the better. But keep a sharp eye on the windows. You can do that more readily than I, more naturally from under the brim of your hat.... And tell me what you see...."
He had no more than settled into the swing of composition, than the girl--apparently following his pen with closest attention--giggled coquettishly and nudged his elbow.
"The window to the right of the door we came in," she said, smiling delightedly; "he"s standing behind the fir-trees, staring in."
"Can you make out who he is?" Lanyard asked without moving his lips.