I dial black coffee on the wall servitor and wish B were here so we could prove to each other the thing is just an exercise; I do not do so well at spotting proofs on my own.
Most of our cla.s.s exercises have concerned something that happened, once.
After about ninety minutes the speaker requests me to write not more than one thousand words on any scheme to improve the situation and the equipment required for it.
I spent ten minutes verbalizing the basic idea and an hour or so on "equipment"; the longer I go on the more unlikely it all seems. In the end I have maybe two hundred words which acting on instructions I post through a slit in the door.
Five minutes later I realize I have forgotten the Time Factor.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
If the original ship took a year to reach Incognita, it will take at least four months now; therefore it is more than four months since that report was written and will be more than a year before anyone arrives and War may have started already.
I sit back and by transition of ideas start to wonder where this ship is heading? We are still at one gee and even on Ma.s.s-Time you cannot juggle apparent acceleration and spatial transition outside certain limits; we are not just orbiting but must be well outside the Solar System by now.
The speaker announces Everyone will now get some rest; I smell sleep-gas for one moment and have just time to lie down.
I guess I was tired, at that.
When I wake I feel more cheerful than I have for weeks; a.n.a.lysis indicates I am glad something is _happening_ even if it is another Exam.
I dial breakfast but am too restless to eat; I wonder how long this goes on or whether I am supposed to show Initiative and break out; I am examining things with this in mind when the speaker comes to life again.
It says, "Ladies and gentlemen. You have not been told whether the problem that you studied yesterday concerned a real situation or an imaginary one. You have all outlined measures which you think would improve the situation described. Please consider, seriously, whether you would be prepared to take part yourself in the application of your plan."
Brother.
There is no way to tell whether those who say No will be counted cowardly or those who say Yes rash idiots or what, the owner of that voice has his inflections too well trained to give anything away except intentionally.
D. J. M"Clare.
Not in person but a recording, anyway M"Clare is on Earth surrounded by exam papers.
I sit back and try to think, honestly, if that crack-brained notion I wrote out last night were going to be tried in dead earnest, would I take a hand in it?
The trouble is, hearing M"Clare"s voice has convinced me it is a Test, I don"t know whether it is testing my courage or my prudence in fact I might as well toss for it.
Heads I am crazy, Tails a defaulter; Tails is what it is.
I seize my styler and write the decision down.
There is the slit in the door.
I twiddle the note and think Well n.o.body asked for it yet.
Suppose it is real, after all?
I remember the itchy, sweaty feeling I got yesterday and try to picture really embarking on a thing like this, but I cannot work up any lather today.
I begin to picture M"Clare reading my decision not to back up my own idea.
I pick up the coin and juggle it around.
The speaker remarks When I am quite ready will I please make a note of my decision and post it through the door.
I go on flipping the coin up and presently it drops on the floor, it is Heads this time.
Tossing coins is a pretty feeble way to decide.
I drop the note on the floor and take another sheet and write "YES.
Lysistrata Lee."
Using that name seems to make it more legal.
I slip the paper in the slit and poke till it falls through on the other side of the door.
I am suddenly immensely hungry and dial breakfast all over again.
Just as I finish M"Clare"s voice starts once more.
"It"s always the minor matters that cause the most difficulty. The timing of this announcement has cost me as much thought as any aspect of the arrangements. The trouble is that however honest you are--and your honesty has been tested repeatedly--and however strong your imagination--about half of your training has been devoted to developing it--you can"t possibly be sure, answering a hypothetical question, that you are giving the answer you would choose if you knew it was asked in dead earnest.
"Those of you who answered the question in the negative are out of this. They have been told that it was a test, of an experimental nature, and have been asked to keep the whole thing a secret. They will be returning to Earth in a few hours" time. I ask the rest of you to think it over once again. Your decision is still private. Only the two people who gathered you together know which members of the cla.s.s are in this ship. The list of possible helpers was compiled by a computer. I haven"t seen it myself.
"You have a further half hour in which to make up your minds finally.
Please remember that if you have any private reservations on the matter, or if you are secretly afraid, you may endanger us all. You all know enough psychology to realize this.
"If you still decide in favor of the project, write your name on a slip of paper and post it as before. If you are not absolutely certain about it, do nothing. Please think it over for half an hour."
Me, I had enough thinking. I write my name--just L. Lee--and post it straight away.
However I cannot stop thinking altogether. I guess I think very hard, in fact. My Subconscious insists afterwards that it did register the plop as something came through the slit, but my Conscious failed to notice it at all.
Hours later--my watch says twenty-five minutes but I guess the Ma.s.s-Time has affected it--anyway I had three times too much solitary confinement--when will they let me out of here?--there is a knock at the door and a second later it slides apart.
I am expecting Ram or Peter so it takes me an appreciable fraction of a moment to realize I am seeing D. J. M"Clare.
Then I remember he is back on Earth buried in Exam papers and conclude I am having a hallucination.
This figment of my imagination says politely, "Do you mind if I sit down?"
He collapses on the couch as though thoroughly glad of it.
It is a strange thing, every time I see M"Clare I am startled all over again at how good-looking he is; seems I forget it between times which is maybe why I never fell for him as most female students do.