"No matter. _You_ have nothing to fear, my daughter; you will be protected. _He_ has everything to fear; he is a felon before the law, and he may be prosecuted. Compose yourself, my child, and give your mind to heavenly subjects. See, the priest is coming in," murmured the abbess, who immediately crossed herself, and lowered her eyes in devotion.
Salome, though trembling in every limb, and feeling faint, almost to falling, followed the mother-superior"s example, and tried to concentrate her mind in worship.
The solemn procession of the service entered the chancel--the priests in their sacerdotal vestments, the boys in their white robes. The officiating priest took his station before the altar, with his a.s.sistants on each side. And the impressive celebration of the high ma.s.s commenced.
But, ah! Salome could not confine her attention to the service! Her eyes, guard them carefully as she might, would wander from her missal toward the stalwart form and stately head of the stranger in that third pew front; her thoughts would wander back to the past, forth to the future, or, if they stayed upon the present at all, it was but in connection with that stranger.
Father F----, the great English priest, preached the sermon, from the text: "Glory to G.o.d in the highest, and on earth peace, good will to men." He preached with all the force, fervor and eloquence inspired by the Divine words, and he was heard with rapt attention by all the cloistered nuns and all the common congregation--by all within the sound of his voice, perhaps, except one--the most sorrowful one on that glad day. Salome tried in vain to follow the golden thread of his discourse.
But how little she was able to do, may be known from the deep sigh of relief she heaved when it was all over.
As soon as the benediction was p.r.o.nounced, the nuns arose to leave their screened choir, and the congregation got up to go out from the chapel.
Salome lingered behind the sisterhood, and watched the handsome stranger in the third pew front--a stranger to every one present except herself.
He also lingered behind all his companions, and turned and looked intently up into the screened choir.
Salome saw his full face for the first time since his appearance there--and she saw that it was deadly, ghastly pale, with white lips and gla.s.sy eyes. He gazed into the screened choir as into vacancy.
Salome knew that he could see nothing there, yet she shrank back and stood in the deepest shadow, until she saw him pick up his hat and glide from the chapel, the last man that went out.
"Ah, what could have changed him so?" she thought--"love, fear, remorse--what?"
He had nothing to fear from her. If no one should take vengeance on him until she should do so, then would he go unpunished to his grave, and his sin would never have found him out in this world. Nay, sooner than to have hurt him in life, liberty, honor, or estate, she, herself, would have borne the penalty of all his crimes. Yet of those crimes what an unspeakable horror she had, though for the criminal what an unutterable pity--what an undying love.
While she stood there, gazing through the choir-screen upon the spot whence the stranger had disappeared, her bosom, torn by these conflicting pa.s.sions of horror, pity, love, she felt a soft touch on her shoulder, and turning, saw the mother-superior at her side.
"My daughter, why do you loiter here?" she tenderly inquired.
Salome"s pale face flushed, as she replied:
"Oh, mother, I was watching him until he left the church."
"My daughter, it was a deadly sin to do so!" gravely replied the abbess.
"He could not see me, mother," sighed Salome, in a tremulous voice.
"That was well. Come now to your own room, daughter, and do not tremble so. You have nothing to fear, except from your own weak and sinful nature," said the abbess, as she drew the girl"s arm within her own and led her from the choir.
"Am I so weak and sinful, mother?" inquired Salome, after a silence which had lasted until the two had reached the door of the Infants" Asylum, where Salome now lodged.
"As every human being is! and especially as every woman is in all affairs of the heart," gravely returned the abbess.
"Can you spare me a few minutes, mother? Will you come in and let me talk to you a little while? Have you time? I want to talk to you. Oh!
I wish we had mother-confessors for women--for girls, I mean, instead of father-confessors. Can you come in and let me talk to you, mother, for a little while?"
"Surely, daughter," said the abbess, gently as with her own hand she opened the door and led her votaress into the room.
Salome offered the one chair to the lady-superior, and then took the foot-stool at her feet, and laid her head upon her knees.
"Now speak to me freely, child. Tell me what you wish and how I can help you," said the abbess, kindly.
"Oh, mother! mother! I wish to be rid of the sin of loving him, for I love him still. In spite of all, I love him still!" exclaimed Salome, breaking down in a pa.s.sion of tears and sobs.
The abbess laid her hands upon the bowed young head, and kept them so in silence until the storm of grief had pa.s.sed. Then she said:
"Child you must fast and pray, and so combat the "inordinate and sinful affections of the flesh." Bethink you what you do in suffering them. You make an idol of that monster of iniquity who was an accomplice in the murder of your father--"
Salome uttered a low cry, and hid her face in her hands. The abbess went on steadily, almost pitilessly:
"A man who, having already a living wife, of whom he had grown tired and ashamed, married you, and so would have ruined you in soul and body."
Salome groaned deeply, and then suddenly broke forth in pa.s.sionate exclamations:
"I know it! I know it? I know it from the evidence of my own senses, no less than from the testimony of others! I _know_ it, but I cannot _feel it_, mother! I cannot feel it? My _mind_ adjudges him _guilty_; my _mind condemns_ him upon unquestionable proof; but my _heart_ holds him _guiltless_; in the face of all the proofs, my _heart acquits_ him! I _know_ him to be a criminal; but I _feel_ him to be one of the greatest, best and n.o.blest of mankind! In spite of all I have heard and seen with my own ears and eyes, corroborated by the testimony of others--in spite of everything past, I _feel_, I _feel_ that if he should now come and take my hand in his, and whisper to me, I should believe all that he might tell me, and go with him whithersoever he might choose to lead me!
Mother, _save me from myself_!"
The abbess laid her hands again upon the throbbing head that lay on her lap, as she answered, mournfully:
"Said I not that you have nothing to fear except from your weak and sinful self. Child, you have nothing else on earth to dread. You are to be protected from yourself alone."
"And from _him_! Oh, mother, keep the great temptation from me!"
"He shall be kept from you, if, indeed, he should presume to seek you here," said the abbess.
"He will seek me, mother! He came to seek me, and for nothing else. He has by some means found out my retreat, and he has come to seek me! Be sure that he will present himself here to-morrow, if not to-day."
"In that case, we shall know how to deal with him, even though he is the Duke of Hereward; for he has, and can have, no lawful claim on you. So far from that, he is in deadly danger from you. He is liable to prosecution by you; for you are not his wife; you are only a lady whom he entrapped by a felonious marriage ceremony, and sought to ruin. It is amazing," added the abbess, reflectively, "that a n.o.bleman of his exalted rank and ill.u.s.trious fame should have stooped _so_ low as to stain his honor with so deep a crime, and to risk the infamy and destruction its discovery must have brought upon him."
"It is amazing and incredible! That is why, in the face of the evidence of my own eyes and ears, the testimony of other eye and ear witnesses, and of my own certain knowledge, based upon proof as sure as ever formed the foundation of any knowledge, I still feel in my heart of heart that he is guiltless, stainless, n.o.ble, pure and true as the prince of n.o.blemen should be," sighed Salome, adding word upon word of eulogy, as if she could not say enough.
"In the face of all positive proof, and of the convictions of your judgment, your _heart_ tells you that this criminal is innocent,"
said the abbess, incisively.
"In the face of all, my heart a.s.sures me that he is pure, true, and n.o.ble!" exclaimed Salome.
"Do you believe your heart?" gravely inquired the elder lady.
"No; for is it not written: "The heart is deceitful, and desperately wicked." No, I do not believe my weak and sinful heart, which I know would betray me into the hands of my lover, if I should be so unfortunate as to meet him."
"You shall not meet him; you shall be saved from him," answered the abbess.
At that moment a bell was heard to ring throughout the building.
"That calls us to the refectory--to our happy Christmas festival. Come, my daughter," said the lady, rising.
"I cannot go! Oh, indeed I cannot go, mother. I am utterly unnerved by what has happened. I hope you will pardon and excuse me," pleaded Salome.
"What! Will you not join us at our Christmas feast?" kindly persisted the abbess.