"I do not know--_not with you that is certain_. You were quite right when you said that I could not live with either--that a single life was the only possible one for me. I feel that it is so, and I hope that it will be a short one."
"Valerie, do not say so. You are very young yet. The duke is an elderly man; he will die and leave you free."
"I shall not be free _while_ EITHER of _you live_! nor can I build any hope in life _on death_! Oh! I have been cruelly wronged, and I am very miserable, but I am not selfish or wicked, Waldemar."
"How soon do you propose to leave this house?"
"I do not know. I only know that I must go before the duke"s return."
"What should hinder your going at once?"
"I must make some provision for the miserable remnant of life left me.
I must collect and sell my jewels and my shawls and laces, and invest the money in some safe place, where it will bring me interest enough to live cheaply in some remote country neighborhood. Wretched as I am, soon as I hope to die, I do not wish to be dependant on _you_, Waldemar."
"No, nor do I wish anything but independence and honor for _you_, Valerie. But you must let me a.s.sist you in realizing capital from your personal property, and in making other necessary arrangements for your removal. You cannot do this for yourself. You are more ignorant of the world than a child. So you must let me see you safely through this trial.
You have no alternative, Valerie. You have no one else to consult with but me, and you may confide in me, for I will endeavor to forget that I ever called you wife, and will treat you with the reverential tenderness due to a dear sister. When I once have seen you safely lodged in a secure retreat, I will leave you there, never to intrude upon you again."
"Thanks! thanks! that is the kindest course you could pursue toward me."
"You accept all my service then?"
"Yes, on the condition that I shall seem to you only as a sister. But, oh! Waldemar! you, who are so kind and considerate _now_, how could you have _ever_ written to me so cruelly--calling me an unfaithful wife--calling yourself a wronged husband? I never was consciously unfaithful to any one in my life. I never voluntarily wronged any creature since I was born. How could you have written so cruelly, Waldemar?"
"Forgive me, Valerie! I was crazed with the contemplation of you,--_you_ whom I considered as my own wife, living here as the d.u.c.h.ess of Hereward. Only since I have learned that the duke is gone--and gone forever from you, have I come to my senses. Do you understand me, and do you forgive me?"
"Yes, both; but now, do not think me rude or unkind; but you must go. It is not well that you should stay too long."
"Good-morning, Valerie," he said immediately preparing to obey her.
She held out her hand. He took it, pressed it lightly, dropped it, turned and left the room.
After this day the Count de Volaski came daily to the Hotel de la Motte on some errand connected with the d.u.c.h.ess" financial business. These interviews were as coldly formal as the most severe etiquette would have required.
Valerie received frequent letters from the Duke of Hereward, in which he spoke of the protracted business that still kept him an unwilling absentee from her side; promised as speedy a return as possible; expressed great anxiety concerning her health, and besought her to write often.
She complied with his request: she wrote daily as she had promised to do, but she could not write deceitfully; she told him of her health, which she described as no better and no worse than it had been when he left Paris; she told him any little political news or rumor that happened to be stirring, and any social gossip that she thought might interest or amuse him; but she deluded him by no expressions of affection or devotion.
The duke"s absence, that was expected to last but two weeks, was prolonged to six.
Still Valerie delayed leaving the Hotel de la Motte. She shrank from taking the final step, until it should seem absolutely necessary.
At length, after an absence of nearly seven weeks, the Duke of Hereward wrote to his young wife that he was about to return home, and would follow his letter in twenty-four hours.
This letter threw her into a state of excessive nervous excitement, and when her daily visitor entered her room a few hours after its reception, he found her in this condition.
"Why, what is the matter, Valerie? What on earth has happened?" he inquired, in much anxiety.
"The hour has come! I must go!" she answered, trembling.
"Well, so much the better. You are ready to go. You have been ready for weeks past! Do not falter now that the time is at hand."
"I do not falter in resolution, only in strength."
"The sooner it is over the better. I will take you away this afternoon, if you wish."
"Yes, yes, take me away as soon as possible!"
"Have you thought of where you would like to go first?"
"Yes! I have thought and decided! I want you to take me to Italy--to St.
Vito, where we were married, and to the vine-dresser"s cottage, in the Apennines, where we pa.s.sed the first days of our marriage, and the happiest days of our lives."
"It will be very sad for you there," said Waldemar, compa.s.sionately.
"Yes! I know it will be so without you! for of course I must live without you! and though I do not love you as I used to do, because love has perished out of my soul, still, I know, there in that place where we were so happy in our honeymoon, I shall be always comparing the happy days that _were_ with the sorrowful days that _are_!"
"But still, if that is so, why do you go there?"
"Oh, Waldemar, it is the only place for me! I cannot go among entire strangers. I am such a coward. I am afraid in my loneliness: I should be driven to despair or to insanity, or worse than all, to the unpardonable sin of suicide! I dare not go among strangers, nor dare I go among people who know me as the d.u.c.h.ess of Hereward, or knew me as Valerie de la Motte, for they would scorn and abhor me, and their company would be far worse than the very worst solitude. No! I must go to the vine-dresser"s cottage in the Apennines. Good Beppo and Lena knew me only as your wife and loved me dearly, and wept bitter tears when my father tore me away from you. They will be glad to see poor Valerie again! And the good Father Antonio, who married us! He loved us both! He will comfort and counsel me. Yes, Waldemar! St. Vito is my City of Refuge, and the vinedresser"s cottage my only possible home. Take me there and leave me in peace."
"I believe you are right, Valerie. By what train would you like to leave Paris? There is an express that starts at seven. Could you be ready for that?"
"Yes! yes! thanks! I can be ready for that!"
"Shall you take your maid with you?"
"No. I shall pay her and discharge her with a present."
"Then I shall have to secure only two seats. I will get a coupe, if it be possible."
"Anything you like! Go now, Waldemar!"
Count de Volaski pressed her hand and withdrew; but before leaving the room he turned back and inquired:
"Shall I come here for you, or shall I meet you at the station?"
"Meet me at the station, of course! Spare my poor name as long as it can be spared! In twenty-four hours it will be in everybody"s mouth, and the worst that can be said of it will seem too good! And yet they will all be wrong, and I shall not deserve their condemnation."
Count de Volaski waved his hand, and hurried from the room and the house, for he had many hasty preparations to make for the sudden journey.
As soon as he had gone Valerie set about making her final arrangements.
She paid off her maid and discharged her with a handsome present, but without a word of explanation. She sent off her luggage to the railway-station, and ordered the carriage to take her to the same point.
She took in her hand a small bag containing her money, jewels, and other small valuables, when she seated herself in her carriage and gave the order to her coachman. And so she left her own magnificent home forever.
The wondering servants, who had been too well trained even to look any comment in their mistress" hearing, let loose their tongues as they watched the carriage roll away.