"O, certainly, by all means. Clary shall come to you as early as you like. It will be a great relief for her from the dulness of this place.
And--well--yes, if you insist upon it, I"ll join you at dinner. But you see what a perfect recluse I am. There will be no one else, I suppose?"
"You have only to say that you wish it, and there shall be no one else,"
Mr. Granger replied courteously.
Never had he been so anxious to propitiate any one. People had courted him more or less all his life; and here he was almost suing for the acquaintance of this broken-down spendthrift--a man whom he had secretly despised until now.
On this a.s.surance Mr. Lovel consented to dine with his neighbour for the first time; and Mr. Granger, having no excuse for farther lingering, took his departure, remembering all at once that he had such a thing as a daughter waiting for him in the carriage outside.
He went, and Clarissa took up the thread of her old life just where she had dropped it. Her father was by no means so gracious or agreeable to-day as he had been during his brief visit to Hale Castle. He took out his tradesmen"s letters and bills when Mr. Granger was gone, and went on with his examination of them, groaning aloud now and then, or sometimes stopping to rest his head on his hands with a dreary long-drawn sigh. Clarissa would have been very glad to offer her sympathy, to utter some word of comfort; but there was something in her father"s aspect which forbade any injudicious approach. She sat by the open window with a book in her hand, but not reading, waiting patiently in the hope that he would share his troubles with her by-and-by.
He went on with his work for about an hour, and then tied the papers in a bundle with an impatient air.
"Arithmetic is no use in such a case as mine," he said; "no man can make fifty pounds pay a hundred. I suppose it must end in the bankruptcy court.
It will be only our last humiliation, the culminating disgrace."
"The bankruptcy court! O, papa!" cried Clarissa piteously. She had a very vague idea as to what bankruptcy meant, but felt that it was something unutterably shameful--the next thing to a criminal offence.
"Better men than I have gone through it," Mr. Lovel went on with a sigh, and without the faintest notice of his daughter"s dismay; "but I couldn"t stand Arden and Holborough after that degradation. I must go abroad, to some dull old town in the south of France, where I could have my books and decent wine, and where, as regards everything else, I should be in a living grave.
"But they would never make you bankrupt surely, papa;" Clarissa exclaimed in the same piteous tone.
"_They_ would never make me bankrupt!" echoed her father fretfully. "What do you mean by _they_? You talk like a baby, Clarissa. Do you suppose that tradesmen and bankers and bill-discounters would have more mercy upon me than upon other people? They may give me more time than they would give another man, perhaps, because they know I have some pride of race, and would coin my heart"s blood rather than adopt expedients that other men make light of; but when they know there is no more to be got out of me, they will do their worst. It is only a question of time."
"Are you very much in debt, papa?" Clarissa asked timidly, antic.i.p.ating a rebuff.
"No; that is the most confounded part of the business. My liabilities only amount to a few pitiful hundreds. When I sold Arden--and I did not do that till I was obliged, you may believe--the bulk of the purchase-money went to the mortgagees. With the residue--a paltry sum--I bought myself an annuity; a transaction which I was able to conclude upon better terms than most men of my age, on account of my precarious health, and to which I was most strongly urged by my legal advisers. On this I have existed, or tried to exist, ever since: but the income has not been sufficient even for the maintenance of this narrow household; if I lived in a garret, I must live like a gentleman, and should be always at the mercy of my servants.
These are honest enough, I daresay, but I have no power of checking my expenditure. And then I had your schooling to pay for--no small amount, I a.s.sure you."
"Thank heaven that is over, papa! And now, if you would only let me go out as a governess, I might be some help to you instead of a burden."
"There"s time enough to think of that. You are not much of a burden to me at present. I don"t suppose you add many pounds a year to the expenses of this house. And if I have to face the inevitable, and see my name in the _Gazette_, we must begin life again upon a smaller scale, and in a cheaper place--some out-of-the-way corner of France or Belgium. The governess notion will keep till I am dead. You can always be of some use to me as a companion, if you choose."
This was quite a concession. Clarissa came over to her father"s chair, and laid her hand caressingly upon his shoulder.
"My dear father," she said in a low sweet voice, "you make me almost happy, in spite of our troubles. I wish for nothing better than to stay with you always. And by-and-by, if we have to live abroad, where you need not be so particular about our name, I may be able to help you a little--by means of art or music--without leaving home. I think I could be happy anywhere with you, papa, if you would only love me a little."
That appeal touched a heart not easily moved. Marmaduke Lovel put his hand--such a slender feminine hand--into his daughter"s with an affectionate pressure.
"Poor child!" he said sadly. "It would be hard if I couldn"t love you a little. But you were born under an evil star, Clarissa; and hitherto perhaps I have tried to shut my heart against you. I won"t do that any more. Whatever affection is in me to give shall be yours. G.o.d knows I have no reason to withhold it, nor any other creature on this earth on whom to bestow it. G.o.d knows it is a new thing for me to have my love sued for."
There was a melancholy in his tone which touched his daughter deeply.
He seemed to have struck the key-note of his life in those few words; a disappointed unsuccessful life; a youth in which there had been some hidden cause for the ungenial temper of his middle age.
It was nearly six o"clock by this time, and Clarissa strolled into the garden with her father while the table was being laid for dinner. There were faint glimpses of russet here and there among the woods around Arden Court, but it still seemed summer time. The late roses were in full bloom in Mr. Lovel"s fertile garden, the rosy apples were brightening in the orchard, the plums purpling on a crumbling old red-brick wall that bounded the narrow patch of kitchen-garden. Yes, even after Hale Castle the place seemed pretty; and a pang went through Clarissa"s heart, as she thought that this too they might have to leave; even this humble home was not secure to them.
Father and daughter dined together very pleasantly. Clarissa had been almost happy by her father"s unwonted tenderness, and Mr. Lovel was in tolerable spirits, in spite of that dreary afternoon"s labour, that hopeless task of trying to find out some elastic quality in pounds, shillings, and pence.
CHAPTER XVIII.
SOMETHING FATAL.
AT seven o"clock Mr. Lovel composed himself for his after-dinner nap, and Clarissa, being free to dispose of herself as she pleased till about nine, at which hour the tea-tray was wont to be brought into the parlour, put on her hat and went out into the village. It would be daylight till nearly eight, and moonlight after that; for the moon rose early, as Miss Lovel remembered. She had a fancy to look at the familiar old plane again--the quiet village street, with its three or four primitive shops, and single inn lying back a little from the road, and with a flock of pigeons and other feathered creatures always on the patch of gra.s.s before it; the low white-walled cottages, in which there were only friendly faces for her.
That suggestion of a foreign home had made her native village newly dear to her.
She had not held much intercourse with these Arden people since her coming home. The sense of her inability to help them in any substantial way had kept her aloof from them. She had not the gift of preaching, or of laying down the laws of domestic economy, whereby she might have made counsel and admonition serve instead of gold or silver. Being able to give them nothing, she felt herself better out of the way; but there were two or three households upon which she had contrived to bestow some small benefits--a little packet of grocery bought with her scanty pocket-money, a jar of good soup that she had coaxed good-natured Martha to make, and so on--and in which her visits had been very welcome.
All was very quiet this evening. Clarissa went through the village without meeting any one she knew. The gate of the churchyard stood open, and Arden churchyard was a favourite spot with Clarissa. A solemn old place, shadowed by funereal yews and spreading cedars, which must have been trees of some importance before the Hanoverian succession. There was a narrow footpath between two rows of tall quaint old tombstones, with skulls and crossbones out upon the moss-grown stone; a path leading to another gate which opened upon a wide patch of heath skirted by a scanty firwood.
This was the wildest bit of landscape about Arden, and Clarissa loved it with all an artist"s love. She had sketched that belt of fir-trees under almost every condition--with the evening sun behind them, standing blackly out against the warm crimson light; or later, when the day had left no more than a faint opal glimmer in the western sky; later still, in the fair summer moonlight, or en a bl.u.s.terous autumn afternoon, tossed by the pitiless wind. There was a poetry in the scene that seemed to inspire her pencil, and yet she could never quite satisfy herself. In short, she was not Turner; and that wood and sky needed the pencil of a Turner to translate them fully. This evening she had brought her pocket sketch-book with her. It was the companion of all her lonely walks.
She sat down upon the low boundary-wall of the churchyard, close by the rustic wooden gate through which she had come, facing the heath and the firwood, and took out her sketch-book. There was always something new; inexhaustible Nature had ever some fresh lesson for her. But this evening she sat idle for a long time, with her pencil in her hand; and when at last she began to draw, it was no feature of heathy ridge or dark firwood, but a man"s face, that appeared upon the page.
It was a face that she had drawn very often lately in her idle moods, half unconsciously sometimes--a bold handsome face, that offered none of those difficulties by which some countenances baffle the skill of a painter. It was the face of a man of whom she had told herself it was a sin even to think; but the face haunted her somehow, and it seemed as if her pencil reproduced it in spite of herself.
She was thinking as she drew near of Lady Geraldine"s postponed wedding. It would have been better that the marriage should have taken place; better that the story should have ended to-day and that the frail link between herself and George Fairfax should have been broken. That accident of Lord Calderwood"s death had made everything more or less uncertain. Would the marriage ever take place? Would George Fairfax, with ample leisure for deliberation, hold himself bound by his promise, and marry a woman to whom he had confessed himself indifferent?
She was brooding over this question when she heard the thud of a horse"s hoofs upon the gra.s.s, and, looking up, saw a man riding towards her. He was leaning across his horse"s head, looking down at her in the next moment--a dark figure shutting out the waving line of fir-trees and the warm light in the western sky. "What are you doing there, Miss Lovel?" asked a voice that went straight to her heart. Who shall say that it was deeper or sweeter than, common voices? but for her it had a thrilling sound.
She started and dropped her book. George Fairfax dismounted, tied his horse"s bridle to the churchyard gate, and picked up the little sketch-book.
"My portrait!" he cried, recognizing the carelessly-pencilled bead. "Then you do think of me a little, Clarissa! Do you know that I have been prowling about Arden for the last two hours, waiting and watching for you?
I have ridden past your father"s cottage twenty times, I think, and was on the point of giving up all hope and galloping back to Hale, when I caught sight of a familiar figure from that road yonder."
He had taken a knife from his pocket, and was deliberately cutting out the leaf from Miss Lovel"s sketch-book.
"I shall keep this, Clarissa,--this one blessed sc.r.a.p of evidence that you do sometimes think of me."
"I think of a good many people in the same manner," she said, smiling, with recovered self-possession. "I have very few acquaintance whose likenesses I have not attempted in some fashion."
"But you have attempted mine very often," he answered, looking over the leaves of the book. "Yes, here is my profile amongst bits of foliage, and scroll-work, and all the vagabond thoughts of your artistic brain. You shall not snub me, Clarissa. You do think of me--not as I think of you, perhaps, by day and night, but enough for my encouragement, almost enough for my happiness. Good heavens, how angry I have been with you during the last few weeks!"
"What right had you to be angry with me, Mr. Fairfax?"
"The sublime right of loving you. To my mind that const.i.tutes a kind of moral ownership. And to see you flirting with that fellow Granger, and yet have to hold my peace! But, thank G.o.d, all pretences are done with. I recognize the event of to-day as an interposition of Providence. As soon as I can decently do so, I shall tell Lady Geraldine the truth."
"You will not break your engagement--at such a time--when she has double need of your love?" cried Clarissa indignantly.
She saw the situation from the woman"s point of view, and it was of Geraldine Challoner"s feelings she thought at this crisis. George Fairfax weighed nothing in the scale against that sorrowing daughter. And yet she loved him.
"My love she never had, and never can have; nor do I believe that honour compels me to make myself miserable for life. Of course I shall not disturb her in the hour of her grief by any talk about our intended marriage; but, so soon as I can do so with kindness, I shall let her know the real state of my feelings. She is too generous to exact any sacrifice from me."
"And you will make her miserable for life, perhaps?"