"Hey Char, what the h.e.l.l you getting my wife into now?"
"Why do you always blame me, you do know Elena is a s.h.i.+t stirrer right, she basically starts most of the s.h.i.+t we get into."
"What s.h.i.+t Char, how much s.h.i.+t can you get up to in a book club?"I gave her my innocent as a lamb smile.
"Even I know you"re full of s.h.i.+t with that one El, now what gives?"
"Nothing Daniel, we"re just talking about how to help a new friend."
"Fine, don"t tell me, I"ll go see to our guests while you do your thing, say, I have an idea, if you and the rest of your posse are going to be dancing around in circles later around the bon fire, why don"t we just light some weed instead of wood?"
"Daniel, you"ll make everyone high and where pray tell will you be getting all that weed?"
"Look into the backyard El, between Colton"s guys, Stacy and Emory"s friends and employees and let"s not even start on Carol and her teenage crew, I bet we have enough to start ten fires."
He laughed as he headed towards the kitchen and the back door.
"Okay, so what have we decided Char?"
"We"ve decided that Colton will take care of little Katarina, and we"re going to stay out of it."
"f.u.c.k that."
"Why Elena Lyon, such language from a lady."
"Whatever, I know from your reaction and hers that it has something to do with her being attacked right, well you know we don"t let that s.h.i.+t slide, especially not when it"s family, I"m tired of this violence against women s.h.i.+t, and can you believe those f.u.c.ktards in DC let that bill die, bunch of redneck f.u.c.ks.
I say since the women of America are no longer recognized by our government that we should go all militia on their a.s.ses, we"ll make Sherman"s march through Georgia look like a walk in the park, since they refuse to protect us, I say we start lopping off d.i.c.ks."
"Give me the bottle El, the day hasn"t even started yet and you"re starting your s.h.i.+t, I promised hubby that this year we"ll behave." She shook her head as she downed her tequila shot.
It seemed like we were lying here for a long time, she hadn"t moved, hadn"t uttered a sound so that"s why I almost jumped out of my skin when her soft, scratchy voice started.
"I was spending the night with my friend...I"d told her I couldn"t make it, but then I got my stuff done earlier than expected and changed my mind at the last minute.
Donna had met this guy Taylor a week before, I tried cautioning her you know, but she was crus.h.i.+ng hard on him and I guess she let her inhibitions down.
I got to her house, her parents were gone for the weekend, it was the first time they"d ever left her alone, it was supposed to be our last sleep over before college.
We spent the night watching all our favorite movies and making plans for our futures and stuffing ourselves with pizza.
I didn"t know that she"d told this guy that she would be home alone..."
She stopped talking and I grew tense, I knew that whatever was coming was going to be bad and tried to prepare for it, my natural instinct would be anger and the need for action, she didn"t need to see that right now.
I squeezed her to me, a silent message to go on, I wanted it done, wanted her to tell me all of it so I would know what I was dealing with.
"I got really thirsty after we fell asleep, like around three in the morning I think. I went downstairs to raid the refrigerator, I didn"t turn on the light, I"d been there so much I pretty much knew the layout of the whole house.
I got my drink and was on the way back when I heard noises at the door, I was gonna go see who was there, I thought maybe her parents had changed their minds and were coming back home.
Something stopped me from doing that,...I saw them come in, four of them, they were high or drunk I"m not sure which, they were grinning and high fiving each other, they didn"t see me."
She started to shake and my heart hurt as my stomach lurched. f.u.c.k.
"They went up the stairs and started opening doors, I grabbed the phone off the hook, that"s when I heard her scream."
She was full out shaking, so hard the bed moved, I pulled her even closer and wrapped my arms around her, trying to give her some of my warmth, wis.h.i.+ng like f.u.c.k that she"d never experienced what she was about to describe.
"They raped her, took turns hurting her and laughing, I can still hear them laughing, I"d dialed 911 without realizing it, the lady on the line kept asking me what was my emergency but I couldn"t speak.
Then she screamed for me, Donna, she screamed and screamed and I couldn"t do anything, I was frozen in place.
I Think I walked into the wall or something, but I knocked something over and somehow they heard it and one of them ran down the stairs.
He yelled "fresh meat" up the stairs to the others, they came, they tried...I fought them, I used every trick my dad had ever taught me and I fought, but then they caught me by my hair."
One hand went to her beautiful hair as she gazed off into s.p.a.ce, lost in that time, back there where she"d lived her horror.
"They beat me, with their fists...I"d dropped the phone after I banged into the wall, it was still on...by the time they finally got my clothes off the police were there.
When one news reporter asked the operator why she didn"t just hang up after I didn"t speak, how she knew it wasn"t a prank call, she said it was because I"d given her the police code for a rape in progress. I didn"t remember doing that.
The phone was still open, she heard everything that was happening to me, that"s why the cops got there so fast, I was lucky.
Donna, she, they hurt her so bad, her poor body was broken...she killed herself three days after getting out of the hospital.
Alec was never charged, he was on anti depressants or something like that and they say it made him do things, the other three are awaiting trial."
"You can stop now angel, you don"t have to say anymore."
"I"m sorry that happened to you and your friend, sorry you have that in your life, it"s going to be okay now."
I held her as my mind raced, what she"d described was beyond horrific, that she would carry that memory for the rest of her life p.i.s.sed me the f.u.c.k off, but my next concern was how the f.u.c.k to reach into a jail in Arizona and f.u.c.k some s.h.i.+t up.
It was time to reach out to the brotherhood of the bike, my crew is what you might call the gentleman"s club of the brotherhood but one hand washes the other, I"ll get my feelers out by tomorrow, the three behind bars will have to be dealt with by other hands but Taylor, that little mother f.u.c.ker was mine.
Chapter 9.
I could hear the party going on outside, the laughter and gaiety while one so young suffered just feet away.
Life is strange as f.u.c.k, some people can be suffering while others have no clue and are just going along with their daily life as usual.
I wanted to go down there and yell at them to get the f.u.c.k gone, which was stupid, none of those people had anything to do with what had happened to her, what I was really p.i.s.sed about was the fact that I couldn"t act yet, I wanted to be up and moving, but I needed to be holding her more.
This changed things, I couldn"t just fall on her like I"d been about to, she was obviously still hurt, still healing, I"d have to watch, to gauge where she was in her head, one thing was for sure, she wasn"t staying in that f.u.c.king sh.e.l.l a minute longer, why should she hide who she was because those f.u.c.ks were cowardly a.s.sholes, she hadn"t done anything wrong, as far as I can see they"d taken more than enough from her already.
"Angel, can I ask you something?"
She nodded her head against my neck.
"How do you feel, I need to know so I know what to do for you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean right now, where are you with this, are you scared, angry, hurt, what...I want to know where your heart and mind is."
"I"m not sure, I"ve been all those things...no one else asked me that, I guess everyone just a.s.sumed they knew how I should be feeling, but you"re the first one to ask me that.
It feels good that you asked, it"s making me think right now..."
"And what do you feel baby?"
She took a minute while she moved around a bit until she was finally sitting up next to me.
Her eyes were red from crying but even that didn"t take away from their beauty. I reached up with my palm and held her cheek, when she rubbed her face against my hand like a baby fawn she stole the f.u.c.king heart right out of me.
I dropped my hand still warm from her skin,as she sat up straighter.
"I"m mostly angry, at them, at me, at Donna.
Then I feel guilty for being angry at her because she"s dead, and then I feel guilty that I"m here and she"s not, but I tried to warn her.
This guy was older, in college, the things she said that he was saying to her made me uncomfortable, it"s like I could see through his bull s.h.i.+t but she couldn"t.
If only she"d listened to me, none of this would"ve happened, but it"s stupid to stay angry at her because she"s gone, my best friend is gone and I couldn"t do anything about it.
I hate myself for standing there like a scared little rabbit while they brutalized her."
"But you were able to fight them off."
"What des that say about me, why didn"t I use some of that to help her?"
"Do you take fighting lessons, are you trained in any of the arts?"
"No, I just knew what my dad taught me over the years, it just kicked in I guess, but while they were up those stairs and she was screaming for me, I couldn"t move, I was too afraid."
"Clear and imminent danger, your survival instinct kicked in, no one knows why the body reacts the way it does to fear, or why some people can accomplish the impossible in certain situations, all I can tell you Angel is that you were meant to survive, that"s why you"re here and you shouldn"t feel any guilt for that. What else?"
"I don"t know, sometimes I laugh and I"d hear myself laugh and get sad, it feels wrong to laugh, like I should remember that night for the rest of my life and never laugh or be happy again."
"So why don"t you kill yourself if you don"t want to live?"
She looked at me in horror but I wasn"t taking that s.h.i.+t back, obviously no one had talked to this girl about this s.h.i.+t or if they had they"d done a p.i.s.s poor job of it.
I wasn"t going to join that line of f.u.c.k ups, she needed a hard wake up call before one day she ended up slitting her wrist or some s.h.i.+t, this thinking of hers was all f.u.c.ked up, she wouldn"t heal like that, only get worst as time went on.
"Why would you say something like that, that"s,...that"s cruel."
"No Angel, what you"re doing to yourself is cruel, you begrudge yourself happiness, you walk around trying to look like and be someone else, laughter is out, fun of any kind is out..."
"Well I"m here aren"t I?"
"I"m sure Elena didn"t give you a choice, I know my mother, you didn"t come because you wanted to as much as you were obeying an order, you"ve turned yourself into a robot, no human emotion..."
"I was just dry humping you at the side of your parents" house what are you talking about?"
And we"ll be getting back to that later please G.o.d, that and much more, but later, after I"ve straightened your s.h.i.+t out. That much I was sure of.
"Yeah, and I"m sure you"ll make yourself feel guilty for that later, like you"ve done with everything else since the incident."
"Why are you being such an a.s.shole jerk?"
She clapped her hand over her mouth and I howled with laughter. I couldn"t help myself, I rolled into her, taking her down with me as I rolled around on the bed laughing my a.s.s off.
"See that b.i.t.c.h that was just here, that"s who I want to meet."
I kissed her quick and rolled away.
"Come on let"s go."
"I don"t feel like going back out there."
"Too bad, you"re going, your days of hiding are over, you didn"t do anything wrong, you didn"t go up the stairs because subconsciously you knew it was four of them against you, you had no weapon, nothing to fend them off, you actually used the only weapons at your disposal, the phone, then you used your head, another weapon, only of a different nature, so you see Angel, you weren"t useless, you won in the end.
All we have to do now is deal with your misguided belief that you have anything to feel guilty about."