Four months would surely be enough, he thought, feeling a rounded shape through its wrappings. In fact, he thought one night would be enough, but his man"s pride was restrained by a scientist"s prudence. And even if . . . there was always some chance of early miscarriage; he wanted to be sure of the child before he undertook any more personal experiments with the s.p.a.ce between times. If he knew that something of himself- someone with his peculiar abilities- might be left, just in case this time . . .
He could feel it there, somewhere in the smothered dark behind him. He knew he couldn"t hear it now; it was silent, save on the days of solstice and equinox, or when you actually walked into it . . . but he felt the sound of it in his bones, and it made his hands tremble on the wrappings.
The gleam of silver, of gold. He chose two gold snuffboxes, a filigreed necklace, and- with some hesitation- a small silver salver. Why did the void not affect metal? he wondered, for the thousandth time. In fact, carrying gold or silver eased the pa.s.sage- or at least he thought so. Melisande had told him it did. But jewels were always destroyed by the pa.s.sage, though they gave the most control and protection.
That made some sense; everyone knew that gemstones had a specific vibration that corresponded to the heavenly spheres, and the spheres themselves of course affected the earth-"As above, so below." He still had no idea exactly how the vibrations should affect the s.p.a.ce, the portal . . . it. But thinking about it gave him a need to touch them, to rea.s.sure himself, and he moved wrapped bundles out of the way, digging down to the left-hand corner of the wood-lined cache, where pressing on a particular nailhead caused one of the boards to loosen and turn sideways, rotating smoothly on spindles. He reached into the dark s.p.a.ce thus revealed and found the small wash-leather bag, feeling his sense of unease dissipate at once when he touched it.
He opened it and poured the contents into his palm, glittering and sparking in the dark hollow of his hand. Red and blues and greens, the brilliant white of diamonds, the lavender and violet of amethyst, and the golden glow of topaz and citrine. Enough?
Enough to travel back, certainly. Enough to steer himself with some accuracy, to choose how far he went. But enough to go forward?
He weighed the glittering handful for a moment, then poured them carefully back. Not yet. But he had time to find more; he wasn"t going anywhere for at least four months. Not until he was sure that Madeleine was well and truly with child.
"Joan." Michael put his hand on her arm, keeping her from leaping out of the carriage. "Ye"re sure, now? I mean, if ye didna feel quite ready, ye"re welcome to stay at my house until-"
"I"m ready." She didn"t look at him, and her face was pale as a slab of lard. "Let me go, please."
He reluctantly let go of her arm, but insisted upon getting down with her, and ringing the bell at the gate, stating their business to the portress. All the time, though, he could feel her shaking, quivering like a blancmange. Was it fear, though, or just understandable nerves? He"d feel a bit cattywampus himself, he thought with sympathy, were he making such a shift, beginning a new life so different from what had gone before.
The portress went away to fetch the Mistress of Postulants, leaving them in the little enclosure by the gate house. From here, he could see across a sunny courtyard with a cloister walk on the far side, and what looked like extensive kitchen gardens to the right. To the left was the looming bulk of the hospital run by the order, and beyond that, the other buildings that belonged to the convent. It was a beautiful place, he thought- and hoped the sight of it would settle her fears.
She made an inarticulate noise, and he glanced at her, alarmed to see what looked like tears slicking her cheeks.
"Joan," he said more quietly, and handed her his fresh handkerchief. "Dinna be afraid. If ye need me, send for me, anytime; I"ll come. And I meant it, about the letters."
He would have said more, but just then the portress reappeared, with Sister Eustacia, the postulant mistress, who greeted Joan with a kind motherliness that seemed to comfort her, for the girl sniffed and straightened herself, and reaching into her pocket, pulled out a little folded square, obviously kept with care through her travels.
"J"ai une lettre," she said, in halting French. "Pour Madame le . . . pour . . . Reverend Mother?" she said, in a small voice. "Mother Hildegarde?"
"Oui?" Sister Eustacia took the note with the same care with which it was proffered.
"It"s from . . . her," Joan said to Michael, having plainly run out of French. She still wouldn"t look at him. "Da"s . . . er . . . wife. You know. Claire."
"Jesus Christ!" Michael blurted, making both the portress and the postulant mistress stare reprovingly at him.
"She said she was a friend of Mother Hildegarde. And if she was still alive . . ." She stole a look at Sister Eustacia, who appeared to have followed this.
"Oh, Mother Hildegarde is certainly alive," she a.s.sured Joan, in English. "And I"m sure she will be most interested to speak with you." She tucked the note into her own capacious pocket, and held out a hand. "Now, my dear child, if you are quite ready . . ."
"Je suis prest," Joan said, shaky, but dignified. And so Joan MacKimmie of Balriggan pa.s.sed through the gates of the convent of Our Lady Queen of Angels, still clutching Michael Murray"s clean handkerchief and smelling strongly of his dead wife"s scented soap.
Michael had dismissed his carriage, and wandered restlessly about the city after leaving Joan at the convent, not wanting to go home. He hoped they would be good to her, hoped that she"d made the right decision.
Of course, he comforted himself, she wouldn"t actually be a nun for some time. He didn"t know quite how long it took, from entering as a postulant to becoming a novice, to taking the final vows of poverty, chast.i.ty, and obedience, but at least a few years. There would be time for her to be sure. And at least she was in a place of safety; the look of terror and distress on her face as she"d shot through the gates of the convent still haunted him. He strolled toward the river, where the evening light glowed on the water like a bronze mirror. The deckhands were tired and the day"s shouting had died away. In this light, the reflections of the boats gliding homeward seemed more substantial than the boats themselves.
He"d been surprised at the letter, and wondered whether that had anything to do with Joan"s distress. He"d had no notion that his uncle"s wife had anything to do with the convent of Les Anges- though now that he cast his mind back, he did recall Jared mentioning that Uncle Jamie had worked in Paris in the wine business for a short time, back before the Rising. He supposed Claire might have met Mother Hildegarde then . . . but it was all before he himself was born.
He felt an odd warmth at the thought of Claire; he couldn"t really think of her as his auntie, though she was. He"d not spent much time with her alone at Lallybroch- but he couldn"t forget the moment when she"d met him, alone at the door. Greeted him briefly and embraced him in impulse. And he"d felt an instant sense of relief, as though she"d taken a heavy burden from his heart. Or maybe lanced a boil on his spirit, as she might one on his b.u.m.
That thought made him smile. He didn"t know what she was- the talk near Lallybroch painted her as everything from a witch to an angel, with most of the opinion hovering cautiously around "faery"- for the Auld Ones were dangerous, and you didn"t talk too much about them . . . but he liked her. So did Da and Young Ian, and that counted for a lot. And Uncle Jamie, of course . . . though everyone said, very matter-of-fact, that Uncle Jamie was bewitched. He smiled wryly at that. Aye, if being mad in love with your wife was bewitchment.
If anyone outside the family kent what she"d told them- he cut that thought short. It wasn"t something he"d forget, but it wasn"t something he wanted to think about just yet, either. The gutters of Paris running with blood . . . he glanced down, involuntarily, but the gutters were full of the usual a.s.sortment of animal and human sewage, dead rats, and bits of rubbish too far gone to be salvaged for food even by the street beggars.
He got up and walked, making his way slowly through the crowded streets, past La Chapelle and Montmartre. If he walked enough, sometimes he could fall asleep without too much wine.
He sighed, elbowing his way through a group of buskers outside a tavern, turning back toward the Rue Tre Moulins. Some days, his head was like a bramble patch; thorns catching at him no matter which way he turned, and no path leading out of the tangle.
Paris wasn"t a large city, but it was a complicated one; there was always somewhere else to walk. He crossed the Place de la Concorde, thinking of what his uncle"s wife had told them, seeing there in his mind the tall shadow of a terrible machine.
Joan had had her dinner with Mother Hildegarde, a lady so ancient and holy that Joan had feared to breathe too heavily, lest the Reverend Mother fragment like a stale croissant and go straight off to Heaven in front of her. Mother Hildegarde had been delighted with the letter Joan had brought, though; it brought a faint flush to her face.
"From my- er . . ." Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, what was the French word for stepmother? "Ahh . . . the wife of my . . ." Fittens, she didn"t know the word for stepfather, either! "The wife of my father," she ended, weakly.
"You are the daughter of my good friend Claire!" Mother had exclaimed. "And how is she?"
"Bonny, er . . . bon, I mean, last I saw her," said Joan, and then tried to explain, but there was a lot of French being talked very fast, and she gave up and accepted the gla.s.s of wine that Mother Hildegarde offered her. She was going to be a sot long before she took her vows, she thought, trying to hide her flushed face by bending down to pat Mother"s wee dog, a fluffy, friendly creature the color of burnt sugar named Boutonz.
Whether it was the wine or Mother"s kindness, though, her wobbly spirit steadied. Mother had welcomed her to the community and kissed her forehead at the end of the meal, before sending her off in the charge of Sister Eustacia to see the convent.
Now she lay on her narrow cot in the dormitory, listening to the breathing of a dozen other postulants. It sounded like a byre full of cows, and had much the same warm, humid scent- bar the manure. Her eyes filled with tears, the vision of the homely stone byre at Balriggan sudden and vivid in her mind. She swallowed them back, though, pinching her lips together. A few of the girls sobbed quietly, missing home and family, but she wouldn"t be one of them. She was older than most- a few were nay more than fourteen- and she"d promised G.o.d to be brave.
It hadn"t been bad during the afternoon. Sister Eustacia had been very kind, taking her and a couple of other new postulants round the walled estate, showing them the big gardens where the convent grew medicinal herbs and fruit and vegetables for the table, the chapel where devotions were held six times a day, plus Ma.s.s in the mornings, the stables and kitchens, where they would take turns working- and the great Hopital des Anges, the order"s main work. They had only seen the Hopital from the outside, though; they would see the inside tomorrow, when Sister Marie-Amadeus would explain their duties.
It was strange, of course- she still understood only half what people said to her, and was sure from the looks on their faces that they understood much less of what she tried to say to them- but wonderful. She loved the spiritual discipline, the hours of devotion, with the sense of peace and unity that came upon the sisters as they chanted and prayed together. Loved the simple beauty of the chapel, amazing in its clean elegance, the solid lines of granite and the grace of carved wood, a faint smell of incense in the air, like the breath of angels.
The postulants prayed with the others, but did not yet sing. They would be trained in music, such excitement! Mother Hildegarde had been a famous musician in her youth, it was rumored, and considered it one of the most important forms of devotion.
The thought of the new things she"d seen, and the new things to come, distracted her mind- a little- from thoughts of her mother"s voice, the wind off the moors . . . She shoved these hastily away, and reached for her new rosary, this a substantial thing with smooth wooden beads, lovely and comforting in the fingers.
Above all, there was peace. She hadn"t heard a word from the voices, hadn"t seen anything peculiar or alarming. She wasn"t foolish enough to think she"d escaped her dangerous gift, but at least there might be help at hand if- when-it came back.
And at least she already knew enough Latin to say her rosary properly; Da had taught her. "Ave, Maria," she whispered, "gratia plena, Dominus tec.u.m," and closed her eyes, the sobs of the homesick fading in her ears as the beads moved slow and silent through her fingers.
The Next Day Michael Murray stood in the aisle of the aging-shed, feeling puny and unreal. He"d waked with a terrible headache, the result of having drunk a great deal of mixed spirits on an empty stomach, and while the headache had receded to a dull throb at the back of his skull, it had left him feeling trampled and left for dead.
His cousin Jared, owner of Fraser et Cie, looked at him with the cold eye of long experience, shook his head and sighed deeply, but said nothing, merely taking the list from his nerveless fingers and beginning the count on his own.
He wished Jared had rebuked him. Everyone still tiptoed round him, careful of him. And like a wet dressing on a wound, their care kept the wound of Lillie"s loss open and weeping. The sight of Leonie didn"t help, either- so much like Lillie to look at, so different in character. She said they must help and comfort one another, and to that end, she came to visit every other day, or so it seemed. He really wished she would . . . just go away, though the thought shamed him.
"How"s the wee nun, then?" Jared"s voice, dry and matter-of-fact as always, drew him out of his bruised and soggy thoughts. "Give her a good send-off to the convent?"
"Aye. Well . . . aye. More or less." Michael mustered up a feeble smile. He didn"t really want to think about Sister Joan-Gregory this morning, either.
"What did ye give her?" Jared handed the checklist to Humberto, the Italian shed-master, and looked Michael over appraisingly. "I hope it wasna the new Rioja that did that to ye."
"Ah . . . no." Michael struggled to focus his attention. The heady atmosphere of the shed, thick with the fruity exhalations of the resting casks, was making him dizzy. "It was Moselle. Mostly. And a bit of rum punch."
"Oh, I see." Jared"s ancient mouth quirked up on one side. "Did I never tell ye not to mix wine wi" rum?"
"Not above two hundred times, no." Jared was moving, and Michael followed him perforce down the narrow aisle, the casks in their serried ranks rising high above on either side.
"Rum"s a demon. But whisky"s a virtuous dram," Jared said, pausing by a rack of small, blackened casks. "So long as it"s a good make, it"ll never turn on ye. Speakin" of which"- He tapped the end of one cask, which gave off the resonant deep thongk of a full barrel-"what"s this? It came up from the docks this morning."
"Oh, aye." Michael stifled a belch, and smiled painfully. "That, cousin, is the Ian Alastair Robert MacLeod Murray Memorial uisge-baugh. My da and Uncle Jamie made it during the winter. They thought ye might like a wee cask for your personal use."
Jared"s brows rose and he gave Michael a swift sideways glance. Then he turned back to examine the cask, bending close to sniff at the seam between the lid and staves.
"I"ve tasted it," Michael a.s.sured him. "I dinna think it will poison ye. But ye should maybe let it age a few years."
Jared made a rude noise in his throat, and his hand curved gently over the swell of the staves. He stood thus for a moment as though in benediction, then turned suddenly and took Michael into his arms. His own breathing was hoa.r.s.e, congested with sorrow. He was years older than Da and Uncle Jamie, but had known the two of them all their lives.
"I"m sorry for your faither, lad," he said, after a moment, and let go, patting Michael on the shoulder. He looked at the cask and sniffed deeply. "I can tell it will be fine." He paused, breathing slowly, then nodded once, as though making up his mind to something.
"I"ve a thing in mind, a charaidh. I"d been thinking, since ye went to Scotland- and now that we"ve a kinswoman in the church, so to speak . . . come back to the office with me, and I"ll tell ye.
It was chilly in the street, but the goldsmith"s back room was cozy as a womb, with a porcelain stove throbbing with heat and woven wool hangings on the walls. Rakoczy hastily unwound the comforter about his neck; it didn"t do to sweat indoors; the sweat chilled the instant one went out again, and next thing you knew, it would be la grippe at the best, pleurisy or pneumonia at the worst.
Rosenwald himself was comfortable in shirt and waistcoat, without even a wig, only a plum-colored turban to keep his polled scalp warm. The goldsmith"s stubby fingers traced the curves of the octafoil salver, turned it over- and stopped dead. Rakoczy felt a tingle of warning at the base of his spine, and deliberately relaxed himself, affecting a nonchalant self-confidence.
"Where did you get this, Monsieur, if I may ask?" Rosenwald looked up at him, but there was no accusation in the goldsmith"s aged face- only a wary excitement.
"It was an inheritance," Rakoczy said, glowing with earnest innocence. "An el der ly aunt left it- and a few other pieces- to me. Is it worth anything more than the value of the silver?"
The goldsmith opened his mouth, then shut it, glancing at Rakoczy. Was he honest? Rakoczy wondered with interest. He"s already told me it"s something special. Will he tell me why, in hopes of getting other pieces? Or lie, to get this one cheap? Rosenwald had a good reputation, but he was a Jew.
"Paul de Lamerie," Rosenwald said reverently, his index finger tracing the hallmark. "This was made by Paul de Lamerie."
A shock ran up Rakoczy"s backbone. Merde! He"d brought the wrong one!
"Really?" he said, striving for simple curiosity. "Does that mean something?"
It means I"m a fool, he thought, and wondered whether to s.n.a.t.c.h the thing back and leave instantly. The goldsmith had carried it away, though, to look at it more closely under the lamp.
"De Lamerie was one of the very best goldsmiths ever to work in London- perhaps in the world," Rosenwald said, half to himself.
"Indeed," Rakoczy said politely. He was sweating freely. Nom d"un chameau! Wait, though- Rosenwald had said "was." De Lamerie was dead, then, thank G.o.d. Perhaps the Duke of Sandringham, from whom he"d stolen the salver, was dead, too? He began to breathe more easily.
He never sold anything identifiable within a hundred years of his acquisition of it; that was his principle. He"d taken the other salver from a rich merchant in a game of cards in the Low Countries in 1630; he"d stolen this one in 1745- much too close for comfort. Still . . .
His thoughts were interrupted by the chime of the silver bell over the door, and he turned to see a young man come in, removing his hat to re veal a startling head of dark red hair. He was dressed a la mode, and addressed the goldsmith in perfect Pa ri sian French, but he didn"t look French. A long-nosed face with faintly slanted eyes. There was a slight sense of familiarity about that face, yet Rakoczy was sure he"d never seen this man before.
"Please, sir, go on with your business," the young man said with a courteous bow. "I meant no interruption."
"No, no," Rakoczy said, stepping forward. He motioned the young man toward the counter. "Please, go ahead. M. Rosenwald and I are merely discussing the value of this object. It will take some thought." He snaked out an arm and seized the salver, feeling a little better with it clasped to his bosom. He wasn"t sure; if he decided it was too risky to sell, he could slink out quietly while Rosenwald was busy with the red-headed young man.
The Jew looked surprised, but after a moment"s hesitation, nodded and turned to the young man, who introduced himself as one Michael Murray, partner in Fraser et Cie, the wine merchants.
"I believe you are acquainted with my cousin, Jared Fraser?"
Rosenwald"s round face lighted at once.
"Oh, to be sure, sir! A man of the most exquisite taste and discrimination. I made him a wine-cistern with a motif of sunflowers, not a year past!"
"I know." The young man smiled, a smile that creased his cheeks and narrowed his eyes, and that small bell of recognition rang again. But the name held no familiarity to Rakoczy- only the face, and that only vaguely.
"My uncle has another commission for you, if it"s agreeable?"
"I never say no to honest work, Monsieur." From the plea sure apparent on the goldsmith"s rubicund face, honest work that paid very well was even more welcome.
"Well, then . . . if I may?" The young man pulled a folded paper from his pocket, but half-turned toward Rakoczy, eyebrow c.o.c.ked in inquiry. Rakoczy motioned him to go on, and turned himself to examine a music box that stood on the counter- an enormous thing the size of a cow"s head, crowned with a nearly naked nymph, festooned with the airiest of gold draperies and dancing on mushrooms and flowers, in company with a large frog.
"A chalice," Murray was saying, the paper laid flat on the counter. From the corner of his eye, Rakoczy could see that it held a list of names. "It"s a presentation to the chapel of des Anges, to be given in memory of my late father. A young cousin of mine has just entered the convent there as a postulant," he explained. "So M. Fraser thought that the best place."
"An excellent choice." Rosenwald picked up the list. "And you wish all of these names inscribed?"
"Yes, if you can."
"Monsieur!" Rosenwald waved a hand, professionally insulted. "These are your father"s children?"
"Yes, these at the bottom." Murray bent over the counter, his finger tracing the lines, speaking the outlandish names carefully. "At the top, these are my parents" names: Ian Alastair Robert MacLeod Murray, and Janet Flora Arabella Fraser Murray. Now, also, I- we, I mean- we want these two names as well: James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, and Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser. Those are my uncle and aunt; my uncle was very close to my father," he explained. "Almost a brother."
He went on saying something else, but Rakoczy wasn"t listening. He grasped the edge of the counter, vision flickering so that the nymph seemed to leer at him.
Claire Fraser. That had been the woman"s name, and her husband, James, a Highland Lord from Scotland. That was who the young man resembled, though he was not so imposing as . . . but La Dame Blanche! It was her, it had to be.
And in the next instant, the goldsmith confirmed this, straightening up from the list with an abrupt air of wariness, as though one of the names might spring off the paper and bite him.
"That name- your aunt, you say? Did she and your uncle live in Paris at one time?"
"Yes," Murray said, looking mildly surprised. "Maybe thirty years ago- only for a short time, though. Did you know her?"
"Ah. Not to say I was personally acquainted," Rosenwald said, with a crooked smile. "But she was . . . known. People called her La Dame Blanche."
Murray blinked, clearly surprised to hear this.
"Really?" He looked rather appalled.
"Yes, but it was all a long time ago," Rosenwald said hastily, clearly thinking he"d said too much. He waved a hand toward his back room. "If you"ll give me a moment, Monsieur, I have a chalice actually here, if you would care to see it . . . and a paten, too. We might make some accommodation of price, if you take both. They were made for a patron who died suddenly, before the chalice was finished, so there is almost no decoration- plenty of room for the names to be applied, and perhaps we might put the, um, aunt and uncle on the paten?"
Murray nodded, interested, and at Rosenwald"s gesture, went round the counter and followed the old man into his back room. Rakoczy put the octafoil salver under his arm and left, as quietly as possible, head buzzing with questions.