"A very saucy one," added Deppingham, who had come a severe cropper in his single attempt to interest her in a mild flirtation.
"She"s off with Saunders now," went on Britt. "That"s why you can"t find him, my lord. If you really want him, however, I think you can reach him by strolling through the lower end of the park and shouting. For heaven"s sake, don"t fail to shout."
"I _do_ want him, confound him. I want to ask him how many days there are left before our time is up on the island. Demmed annoying, that I can"t have legal advice when I--"
"How many days have you been here?"
"How the devil should I know? That"s what we"ve got Saunders here for.
He"s supposed to tell us when to go home, and all that sort of thing, you know."
"It isn"t going to be so bad, now that the Princess has come to cheer us up a bit," put in Bobby Browne. "Life has a new aspect."
"I say, Browne," burst out Deppingham, irrelevantly, his eyegla.s.s clenched in the tight grasp of a perplexed frown, "would you mind telling me that story about the bishop and the door bell again?"
Britt laughed hoa.r.s.ely, his chubby figure shivering with emotion.
"You"ve heard that story ten times, to my certain knowledge, Deppingham."
His lordship glared at him. "See here, Britt, you"ll oblige me by--"
"Very well," interrupted Britt readily. "I forget once in a while."
"The trouble with you Americans is this," growled Deppingham, turning to Browne and speaking as if Britt was not in existence: "you have no dividing line. "Gad, you wouldn"t catch Saunders sticking his nose in where he wasn"t wanted. He"s--"
"I was under the impression that you wanted him," interrupted Britt, most good-naturedly, his stubby legs far apart, his hands in his pockets.
"I say, Browne, would you mind coming into my room? I want to hear that story, but I"m hanged if I"ll listen to it out here."
The oft-told story of the bishop and the bell, of course, has no bearing upon the affairs of Miss Pelham and Thomas Saunders. And, for that matter, the small affairs of that worthy couple have little or no bearing upon the chief issue involved in this tale. n.o.body cares a rap whether Saunders, middle-aged and unheroic bachelor, with his precise little "burnsides," won the heart of the pert Miss Pelham, precise in character if not always so in type. It is of no serious consequence that she kept him from calling her Minnie until the psychological moment, and it really doesn"t matter that Thomas was days in advancing to the moment. It is only necessary to break in upon them occasionally for the purpose of securing legal advice, or the equally unromantic desire to have a bit of typewriting done. We are not alone in this heartless and uncharitable obtrusion. Deppingham, phlegmatic soul, was forever disturbing Saunders with calls to duty, although Saunders was brutish enough, in his British way, to maintain (in confidence, of course) that he was in the employ of Lady Deppingham, or no one at all. Nevertheless, he always lived under the shadow of duty. At any moment, his lordship was liable to send for him to ask the time of day--or some equally important question. And this brings us to the hour when Saunders unfolded his startling solution to the problem that confronted them all.
First, he confided in Britt, soberly, sagely and in perfect good faith.
Britt was bowled over. He stared at Saunders and gasped. Nearly two minutes elapsed before he could find words to reply; which proves conclusively that it must have been something of a shock to him. When at last he did express himself, however, there was nothing that could have been left unsaid--absolutely nothing. He went so far as to call Saunders a doddering fool and a great many other things that Saunders had not in the least expected.
The Englishman was stubborn. They had it back and forth, from legal and other points of view, and finally Britt gave in to his colleague, reserving the right to laugh when it was all over. Saunders, with a determination that surprised even himself, called for a conference of all parties in Wyckholme"s study, at four o"clock.
It was nearly six before Lady Deppingham arrived, although she had but forty steps to traverse. Mr. and Mrs. Browne were there fully half an hour earlier. Deppingham appeared at four and then went away. He was discovered asleep in the hanging garden, however, and at once joined the others. Miss Pelham was present with her note book. The Princess was invited by Lady Deppingham, who held no secrets from her, but the royal young lady preferred to go out walking with her dogs. Pong, the red c.o.c.ker, attended the session and twice snarled at Mr. Saunders, for no other reason than that it is a dog"s prerogative to snarl when and at whom he chooses.
"Now, what"s it all about, Saunders?" demanded Deppingham, with a wide yawn. Saunders looked hurt.
"It is high time we were discussing some way out of our difficulties,"
he said. "Under ordinary circ.u.mstances, my lady, I should not have called into joint consultation those whom I may be pardoned for designating as our hereditary foes. Especially Mr. Browne. But, as my plan to overcome the obstacle which has always stood in our way requires the co-operation of Mr. Browne, I felt safe in asking him to be present.
Mrs. Browne"s conjugal interest is also worthy of consideration." Mrs.
Browne sniffed perceptibly and stared at the speaker. "But five weeks remain before our stay is over. We all know, by this time, that there is little or no likelihood of the estate being closed on schedule time. I think it is clear, from the advices we have, that the estate will be tied up in the courts for some time to come, possibly a year or two.
From authoritative sources, we learn that the will is to be broken. The apparent impossibility of marriage between Lady Deppingham and Mr.
Browne naturally throws our joint cause into jeopardy. There would be no controversy, of course, if the terms of the will could be carried out in that respect. The islanders understand our position and seem secure in their rights. They imagine that they have us beaten on the face of things. Consequently they are jolly well upset by the news that we are to contest the will in the home courts. They are, from what I hear and observe, pretty thoroughly angered. Now, the thing for us to do is to get married."
He came to this conclusion with startling abruptness. Four of his hearers stared at him in blank amazement.
"Get married?" murmured first one, then another.
"Are you crazy?" demanded Browne. Britt was grinning broadly.
"Certainly not!" snapped Saunders.
"Oh, by Jove!" exclaimed Deppingham, relieved. "I see. You mean _you_ contemplate getting married. I congratulate you. You gave me quite a shock, Saund--"
"I don"t mean anything of the sort, my lord," said Saunders getting very red in the face. Miss Pelham looked up from her note book quickly. He winked at her, and her ladyship saw him do it. "I mean that it is high time that Lady Deppingham and Mr. Browne were getting married. We haven"t much time to spare. It--"
"Good Lord!" gasped Bobby Browne. "You _are_ crazy, after all."
"Open the window and give some air," said Britt coolly.
"See here, Saunders, what the devil is the matter with you?" roared Deppingham.
"My lord, I am here to act as your legal adviser," said Saunders with dignity. "May I be permitted to proceed?"
"Rather queer legal advice, "pon my word."
"Please let him explain," put in Mrs. Browne, whose sense of humour was strongly attracted by this time. "If there is anything more to be learned concerning matrimony, I"d like to know it."
"Yes, Mr. Saunders, you may proceed," said Lady Agnes, pa.s.sing a hand over her bewildered eyes.
"Thank you, my lady. Well, here it is in a nutsh.e.l.l: I have not spoken of it before, but you and Mr. Browne can very easily comply with the provisions of the will. You can be married at any time. Now, I--"
"And where do I come in?" demanded Deppingham, sarcastically.
"Yes, and I?" added Mrs. Browne. "You forget us, Mr. Saunders."
"I include Mrs. Browne," amended Deppingham. "Are we to be a.s.sa.s.sinated?
By Jove, clever idea of yours, Saunders. Simplifies matters tremendously."
"I hear no objection from the heirs," remarked Saunders, meaningly.
Whereupon Lady Agnes and Bobby came out of their stupor and protested vigorously.
"Miss Pelham," said Britt, breaking in sharply, "I trust you are getting all of this down. I wish to warn you, ladies and gentlemen, that _I_ expect to overthrow the will on the ground that there is insanity on both sides. You"ll oblige me by uttering just what you feel."
"Why, this is perfectly ridiculous," cried Lady Agnes. "Our souls are not our own."
"Your minds are the only things I am interested in," said Britt calmly.
"My plan is very simple--" began Saunders helplessly.
"Demmed simple," growled Deppingham.
"We are living on an island where polygamy is practised and tolerated.
Why can"t we take advantage of the custom and beat the natives at their own game? That"s the ticket!"
Of course, this proposition, simple as it sounded, brought forth a storm of laughter and expostulation, but Saunders held his ground. He listened to a dozen jeering remarks in patient dignity, and then got the floor once more.