"You have only to embrace Mohammedanism or Paganism, or whatever it is, temporarily. Just long enough to get married and comply with the terms.
Then, I daresay, you could resume your Christian doctrine once more, after a few weeks, I"d say, and the case is won."
"I pay Lady Deppingham the compliment by saying that it would be most difficult for me to become a Christian again," said Browne smoothly, bowing to the flushed Englishwoman.
"How very sweet of you," she said, with a grimace which made Drusilla shiver with annoyance.
"You don"t need to live together, of course," floundered Saunders, getting rather beyond his depth.
"Well, that"s a concession on your part," said Mrs. Browne, a flash in her eye.
"I never heard of such an asinine proposition," sputtered Deppingham.
Saunders went completely under at that.
"On the other hand," he hastened to remark, "I"m sure it would be quite legal if you did live to----"
"Stop him, for heaven"s sake," screamed Lady Agnes, bursting into uncontrollable laughter.
"Stop him? Why?" demanded her husband, suddenly seeing what he regarded as a rare joke. "Let"s hear him out. By Jove, there"s more to it than I thought. Go on, Saunders."
"Of course, if you are going to be nasty about it--" began Saunders in a huff.
"I can"t see anything nasty about it," said Browne. "I"ll admit that our wife and our husband may decide to be stubborn and unreasonable, but it sounds rather attractive to me."
"Robert!" from his wife.
"He"s only joking, Mrs. Browne," explained Deppingham magnanimously.
"Now, let me understand you, Saunders. You say they can be married according to the customs--which, I take it, are the laws--of the islanders. Wouldn"t they be remanded for bigamy sooner or later?"
"They don"t bother the Mormons, do they, Mr. Browne?" asked Saunders triumphantly. "Well, who is going to object among us?"
"I am!" exclaimed Deppingham. "Your plan provides Browne with two charming wives and gives me but one. There"s nothing to compel Mrs.
Browne to marry me."
"But, my lord," said Saunders, "doesn"t the plan give Lady Deppingham two husbands? It"s quite a fair division."
"It would make Lord Deppingham my husband-in-law, I imagine," said Drusilla quaintly. "I"ve always had a horror of husbands-in-law."
"And you would be my wife-in-law," supplemented Lady Agnes. "How interesting!"
"Saunders," said Deppingham soberly, "I must oppose your plan. It"s quite unfair to two innocent and uninvolved parties. What have we done that we should be exempt from polygamy?"
"You are not exempt," exclaimed the hara.s.sed solicitor. "You are merely not _obliged_ to, that"s all. You can do as you choose about it, I"m sure. I"m sorry my plan causes so much levity. It is meant for the good of our cause. The will doesn"t say how many wives Mr. Browne shall have.
It simply says that Agnes Ruthven shall be his wife. He isn"t restricted, you know. He can be a polygamist if he likes. I ask Mr.
Britt if there is anything in the doc.u.ment which specifically says he shall _not_ have more than one wife. Polygamy is quite legal in the United States, and he is an American citizen. I read about a Mormon chap marrying a whole Sunday-school cla.s.s not long ago."
"You"re right," said Britt. "The will doesn"t specify. But, my dear Saunders, you are overlooking your own client in this plan."
"I don"t quite understand, Mr. Britt."
"As I understand the laws on this island--the church laws at least--a man can have as many wives as he likes. Well, that"s all very well for Mr. Browne. But isn"t it also a fact that a woman can have no more than one husband? Lady Deppingham has one husband. She can"t take another without first getting rid of this one."
"And, I say, Saunders," added Deppingham, "the native way of disposing of husbands is rather trying, I"ve heard. Six or seven jabs with a long knife is the most approved way, isn"t it, Britt?"
"Imagine Lady Deppingham going to the altar all covered with gore!" said Britt.
"Saunders," said Deppingham, arising and lighting a fresh cigarette, "you have gone clean daft. You"re loony with love. You"ve got marriage on the brain. I"d advise you to take some one for it,"
"Do you mean that for me. Lord Deppingham?" demanded Miss Pelham sharply. She glared at him and then slammed her note book on the table.
"You can josh Mr. Saunders, but you can"t josh me. I"m sick of this job.
Get somebody else to do your work after this. I"m through."
"Oh!" exclaimed every one in a panic. It took nearly ten minutes to pacify the ruffled stenographer. She finally resumed her place at the table, but her chin was in the air and she turned the pages with a vehemence that left nothing to the imagination.
"I can arrange everything, my lady, so that the ceremony will be regular," pleaded the unhappy Saunders. "You have only to go through the form--"
"But what kind of a form does she follow in stabbing me to mincemeat?
That"s the main law point," said Deppingham. "You seem to forget that I am still alive."
"Perhaps we could arrange for a divorce all round," cried Saunders, suddenly inspired.
"On what grounds?" laughed Browne.
"Give me time," said the lawyer.
"It"s barely possible that there is no divorce law in j.a.pat," remarked Britt, keenly enjoying his confrere"s misery.
"Are you quite sure?"
"Reasonably. If there was such a law, I"ll bet my head two-thirds of the men in Aratat would be getting rid of wives before night."
Britt, after this remark, sat very still and thoughtful. He was turning over the divorce idea in his mind. He had ridiculed the polygamy scheme, but the divorce proposition might be managed.
"I"m tired," said Lady Deppingham suddenly. She yawned and stretched her arms. "It"s been very entertaining, Saunders, but, really, I think we"d better dress for dinner. Come, Mr. Browne, shall we look for the Princess?"
"With pleasure, if you"ll promise to spare Deppingham"s life."
"On condition that you will spare Deppingham"s wife," very prettily and airily. Mrs. Browne laughed with amazing good grace, but there was a new expression in her eyes.
"Your ladyship," called Saunders desperately, "do you approve of my plan? It"s only a subterfuge--"
"Heartily!" she exclaimed, with one of her rarest laughs. "The only objection that I can see to it is that it leaves out my husband and Mrs.
Browne. They are very nice people, Saunders, and you should be more considerate of them. Come, Mr. Browne." She took the American"s arm and gaily danced from the room. Lord Deppingham"s eyes glowed with pride in his charming wife as he followed with the heartsick Drusilla. Britt sauntered slowly out and down the stairway, glancing back but once at the undone Saunders.
"I would have won them over if Britt had not interfered," almost wailed little Mr. Saunders, his eyes glazed with mortification.
"I"m getting to hate that man," said Miss Pelham loyally. "And the others! They give me a pain! Don"t mind them, Tommy, dear."
Lady Deppingham and Browne came upon the Princess quite unexpectedly.
She was in the upper gallery, leaning against the stone rail and gazing steadily through the field gla.s.ses in the direction of the bungalow.