"Married?"
"No, sir."
"How long have you been engaged as a groom?"
"Not very long, sir."
"How long?"
"Less than twenty-four hours, sir."
Surprise rippled over the faces of the audience on the benches.
"Humph! You are charged with disorderly conduct, reckless driving, and attempted abduction. The last charge has been withdrawn, fortunately for you, sir. Have you ever been up before?"
"Up, sir?"
"A prisoner in a police-court."
"No, sir."
"Twenty-five for reckless driving and ten for disorderly conduct; or thirty days."
"Your Honor, the horses ran away."
"Yes, urged by your whip."
"I was not disorderly, sir."
"The officer declares that you had been drinking."
"Your Honor, I got the wrong carriage. My number was seventeen and I answered to number seventy-one." He wondered if _she_ would believe this statement.
"I suppose that fully explains why you made a race-track of one of our main thoroughfares?"--sarcastically. "You were on the wrong carriage to begin with."
"All I can say, sir, is that it was a mistake."
"The mistake came in when you left your carriage to get a drink. You broke the law right then. Well, if a man makes mistakes, he must pay for them, here or elsewhere. This mistake will cost you thirty-five."
"I haven"t a penny in my clothes, sir."
"Officer, lock him up, and keep him locked up till the fine is paid. I can not see my way to remit it Not another word,"--as Warburton started to protest.
"Marie Johnson, Mabel Tynner, Belle Lisle!" cried the clerk.
The two veiled ladies left the court precipitately.
James, having been ushered into a cell, hurriedly called for pen and ink and paper. At half after ten that morning the following note reached me:
"Dear Chuck: Am in a devil of a sc.r.a.pe at the police-court. Tried to play a joke on the girls last night by dressing up in the groom"s clothes. Got the wrong outfit, and was arrested. Bring thirty-five and a suit of clothes the quickest ever. And, for mercy"s sake, say nothing to any one, least of all the folks. I have given the name of James...o...b..rne. Now, hustle. Bob."
I hustled.
VIII
ANOTHER SALAD IDEA
When they found him missing, his bed untouched, his hat and coat on the rack, his inseparable walking-stick in the umbrella-stand, they were mightily worried. They questioned Jane, but she knew nothing. Jack went out to the stables; no news there. William, having driven the girls home himself, dared say nothing. Then Jack wisely telephoned for me, and I hurried over to the house.
"Maybe he hunted up some friends last night," I suggested.
"But here"s his hat!" cried Nancy.
"Oh, he"s all right; don"t worry. I"ll take a tour around the city.
I"ll find him. He may be at one of the clubs."
Fortunately for Mr. James...o...b..rne I returned home first, and there found his note awaiting me. I was at the court by noon, armed with thirty-five and a suit of clothes of my own. I found the clerk.
"A young man, dressed as a groom, and locked up overnight," I said cautiously. "I wish to pay his fine."
"James...o...b..rne?"
"Yes, that"s the name; James...o...b..rne,"--reaching down into my pocket.
"Fine"s just been paid. We were about to release him. Here, officer, show this gentleman to James...o...b..rne"s cell, and tell him to pack up and get out."
So his fine was paid! Found the money in his clothes, doubtless. On the way to the cells I wondered what the deuce the rascal had been doing to get locked up overnight. I was vastly angry, but at the sight of him all my anger melted into a prolonged shout of laughter.
"That"s right; laugh, you old pirate! I wish you had been in my boots a few hours ago. Lord!"
I laughed again.
"Have you got that thirty-five?" he asked.
"Why, your fine has been paid," I replied, rather surprised.
"And didn"t you pay it?"
"Not I! The clerk told me that it had just been paid."
Warburton"s jaw sank limply. "Just been paid?--Who the deuce could have paid it, or known?"
"First, tell me what you"ve been up to."
He told me s.n.a.t.c.hes of the exploit as he changed his clothes, and it was a question which of us laughed the more. But he didn"t say a word about the stolen kiss, for which I think none the less of him.