"Herr Major," I said, endeavouring to put as much insolence as I could into my voice (that is what a German understands), "I am not in the habit of bleating my business to every fool I meet. Now I must go back to the train."
"The Berlin train has gone, Herr Doktor, but..."
"The Berlin train gone?" I said. "But my business brooks no delay. I tell you I must be in Berlin to-night!"
"There is no question of your taking the ordinary train, Herr Doktor,"
the fat man replied smoothly, "but unfortunately the special which I had ready for you has been countermanded. I thought you were not coming again."
A special? By Jove! I was evidently a personage of note. But a special would never do! Where the deuce was it going to take me?
"The Berlin train was to have been held back until your special was clear," the Major went on, "but we must stop her at Wesel until you have pa.s.sed. I will attend to that at once!"
He gave some order down the telephone and after a brisk conversation turned to me with a beaming face:
"They will stop her at Wesel and the special will be ready in twenty-five minutes. But there is no hurry. You have an hour or more to spare. Might I offer the Herr Doktor a gla.s.s of beer and a sandwich at our officers" casino here?"
Well, I was in for it this time. A special bearing me Heaven knows whither on unknown business...! Perhaps I might be able to extract a little information out of my fat friend if I went with him, so I accepted his invitation with suitable condescension.
The Major excused himself for an instant and returned with my overcoat and bag.
"So!" he cried, "we can leave these here until we come back!" Behind him through the open door I saw a group of officials peering curiously into the room. As we walked through their midst, they fell back with precipitation. There was a positive reverence about their manner which I found extremely puzzling.
A waggonette, driven by an orderly, stood in the station yard, one of the Customs officials, hat in hand, at the door. We drove rapidly through very spick-and-span streets to a little square where the sentry at an iron gate denoted the Officers" Club. In the anteroom four or five officers in field-grey uniform were lounging. As we entered they sprang to their feet and remained stiffly standing while the Major presented them, Hauptmann Pfahl, Oberleutnant Meyer ... a string of names. One of the officers had lost an arm, another was very lame, the remainder were obvious dug-outs.
"An American gentleman, a good friend of ours," was the form in which the Major introduced me to the company. Again I found myself mystified by the extraordinary demonstrations of respect with which I was received. Germans don"t like Americans, especially since they took to selling sh.e.l.ls to the Allies, and I began to think that all these officers must know more about me and my mission than I did myself. A stolid orderly, wearing white gloves, brought beer and some extraordinary nasty-looking sardine sandwiches which, on sampling, I realized to be made of "war bread."
While the beer was being poured out I glanced round the room, bare and very simply furnished. Terrible chromo-lithographs of the Kaiser and the Crown Prince hung on the walls above a gla.s.s filled with war trophies.
With a horrible sickness at heart I recognized amongst other emblems a glengarry with a silver badge and a British steel helmet with a gaping hole through the crown. Then I remembered I was in the region of the VIIth Corps, which supplies some of our toughest opponents on the Western front.
Conversation was polite and perfunctory.
"It is on occasions such as these," said the lame officer, "that one recognizes how our brothers overseas are helping the German cause."
"Your work must be extraordinarily interesting," observed one of the dug-outs.
"All your difficulties are now over," said the Major, much in the manner of the chorus of a Greek play. "You will be in Berlin to-night, where your labours will be doubtless rewarded. American friends of Germany are not popular in London, I should imagine!"
I murmured: "Hardly."
"You must possess infinite tact to have aroused no suspicion," said the Major.
"That depends," I said.
"Pardon me," replied the Major, in whom I began to recognize all the signs of an unmitigated gossip, "I know something of the importance of your mission. I speak amongst ourselves, is it not so, gentlemen? There were special orders about you from the Corps Command at Munster. Your special has been waiting for you here for four days. The gentleman who came to meet you has been in a fever of expectation. He had already left the station this morning when ... when I met you, I sent word for him to pick you up here."
The plot was thickening. I most certainly was a personage of note.
"What part of America do you come from, Mr. Semlin?" said a voice in perfect English from the corner. The one-armed officer was speaking.
"From Brooklyn," I said stoutly, though my heart seemed turned to ice with the shock of hearing my own tongue.
"You have no accent," the other replied suavely.
"Some Americans," I retorted sententiously, "would regard that as a compliment. Not all Americans talk through their noses any more than we all chew or spit in public."
"I know," said the young man. "I was brought up there!"
We were surrounded by smiling faces. This officer who could speak English was evidently regarded as a bit of a wag by his comrades. I seized the opportunity to give them in German a humorous description of my simplicity in explaining to a man brought up in the United States that all Americans were not the caricatures depicted in the European comic press.
There was a roar of laughter from the room.
"Ach, dieser Schmalz!" guffawed the Major, beating his thigh in ecstasy.
"Kolossal!" echoed one of the dug-outs. The lame man smiled wanly and said it was "incredible how humorous Schmalz could be."
I had hoped that the conversation might now be carried on again in German. Nothing of the kind. The room leant back in its chairs, as if expecting the fun to go on.
It did.
"You get your clothes in London," the young officer said.
He was a trimly built young man, very pale from recent illness, with flaxen hair and a bright, bold blue eye--the eye of a fighter. His left sleeve was empty and was fastened across his tunic, in a b.u.t.ton-hole of which was twisted the black and white ribbon of the Iron Cross.
"Generally," I answered shortly, "when I go to England. Clothes are cheaper in London."
"You must have a good ear for languages," Schmalz continued; "you speak German like a German and English ..." he paused appreciably, "... like an Englishman."
I felt horribly nervous. This young man never took his eyes off me: he had been staring at me ever since I had entered the room. His manner was perfectly calm and suave.
Still I kept my end up very creditably, I think.
"And not a bad accomplishment, either," I said, smiling brightly, "if one has to visit London in war-time."
Schmalz smiled back with perfect courtesy. But he continued to stare relentlessly at me. I felt scared.
"What is Schmalz jabbering about now?" said one of the dug-outs. I translated for the benefit of the company. My resume gave the dug-out who had spoken the opportunity for launching out on an interminable anecdote about an ulster he had bought on a holiday at Brighton. The story lasted until the white-gloved orderly came and announced that "a gentleman" was there, asking for the Herr Major.
"That"ll be your man," exclaimed the Major, starting up--I noticed he made no attempt to bring the stranger in. "Come, let us go to him!"
I stood up and took my leave. Schmalz came to the door of the anteroom with us.
"You are going to Berlin?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"Where shall you be staying?" he asked again.
"Oh, probably at the Adlon!"