*And when was that?"

*The Sat.u.r.day night before he killed her."

Mr Treadwell sprang up. *Objection, my lord. This man was not a witness to the murder. He cannot a.s.sume that my client is guilty."

*A man is ent.i.tled to his opinion," Sir Randolph said, *and this is still a free country, I believe."

*Well spoken, Sir Randolph." Mr Justice Peters scratched under his wig with a quill. *Objection overruled."



*Except when it comes to digging holes," Sir Randolph said.

*Let us move on." Sir Robert Finebray rustled his notes.

*They"d have let me dig if there were gold to be found."

*Thank you, Sir Randolph," Sir Robert Finebray said.

*Or coal even. Black gold, some call it."

*On this last occasion, did you talk to the accused?"

*I have already said as much." His voice rang out across the courtroom.

*And what line did the conversation take?"

*I observed to Ashby that my gla.s.s was empty," Sir Randolph said, *and he offered to refill it for me, but not as graciously as he might have. Indeed, he seemed quite distracted."

*In what way?"

*In every way."

The audience chuckled.

*Please continue," Sir Robert said.

*That is what I am trying to do," Sir Randolph retorted.

*Then please do."

*I shall. Did you not f.a.g for me at Rugby?"

Sidney Grice was clicking halfpennies in his left hand.

*I was at Eton," Sir Robert said.

*So was I," the judge said. *Did you f.a.g for me, Finebray?"

*I did not, my lord."

Mr Justice Peters banged his gavel to quell the laughter and signalled the witness to proceed.

*Ashby seemed agitated," Sir Randolph said, *and, when I asked him what the matter was, he told me he had had an argument with his wife."

I watched William Ashby as this evidence was being given. He leaned forward, listening intently, but his face betrayed no particular concern.

*I asked him what the trouble was," Sir Randolph said, *and he told me that he had scolded her over her extravagance. She had bought some material for a curtain and was having it made up by a local seamstress. He thought the material too expensive and that his wife should have made it up herself."

William Ashby nodded slightly.

*He told me that the money could have gone towards more stock," Sir Randolph said, *and that he had stormed out of the house when she refused to cancel the order."

*Did he say anything else?" Sir Robert asked.

*Indeed, he did," Sir Randolph said. *We talked about the lack of respect modern youths have for their elders and we agreed that they lacked the discipline that a spell in the army would have given them. Ashby is an army man himself. He knows all about that."

Sir Robert struggled to conceal his frustration. *Yes, but did he mention his wife again?"

*He said she was a pretty little thing," the witness said, and Sir Robert flapped his notes.

*Oh, for heaven"s sake," Sidney Grice said under his breath. He was rattling the halfpennies furiously now.

*Did he make any threats against her?" Sir Robert asked.

*None that I ever heard," Sir Randolph said, and Sir Robert opened his mouth in dismay.

*But-"

*He made a vow, though," Sir Randolph broke in. *He swore that he would kill her if she did not mend her ways."

William Ashby cried out, *No!", but was silenced by a constable"s hand on his shoulder.

*What were his exact words?" Sir Robert asked.

William Ashby had a choking fit, almost doubling as he spasmed with the effort to catch his breath.

*If the prisoner cannot be silent I shall have him removed from my court." Mr Justice Peters banged his gavel as William Ashby tried to stifle his coughs with his hand. *Proceed, Sir Randolph."

Sir Randolph looked a little irritated. He glanced at his watch and muttered something about a horse.

*He swore that he would kill her if she did not mend her ways," he said.

*No, Sir Randolph, please tell the court exactly the words that he used."

*His exact words were that he would kill her if she did not mend her ways."

Somebody hooted in derision.

*Silence," the judge barked. *I will have this court cleared if there are any more unseemly displays. Carry on, Sir Robert."

*Imagine that you are he and I am you," Sir Robert tried. *I say something like What"s the trouble, old boy? And you say..."

*My gla.s.s is empty."

The judge brought down his gavel several times to restore order, and said to Sir Randolph, *We need his words verbatim."

*Then why did you not say so," Sir Randolph asked, *instead of all this silly playacting? He said, I will kill her if she does not mend her ways, and I said, You do not mean that, surely? And he said, As sure as we are standing here. I have had more than enough of her. I will stick her with one of my knives if she does not improve."

The whole chamber erupted at this revelation and I looked across at William Ashby. He shook his head and clutched it with both hands. And, in the gradual quieting, a low sound emitted from him, the man with no face.

22.

The Trained Monkey The instant the judge sent the jury to consider their verdict Sidney Grice was on his feet.

*Come, March," he said. *There is not a moment to lose." And he was racing jerkily up the steps before most people had even stood up.

I caught up with him in the central hallway.

*This way." He propelled me along a series of crowded corridors and through a door on to the pavement.

*What is so urgent?" I asked. Had he thought of another line of investigation? But Sidney Grice"s face was set determinedly silent as he hurried me up an incline along a street opening into a wider, leafier road.

*Here we are." The smell of coffee greeted us the moment he opened the door. *Ceylon for three," he called before the waitress had even reached our table, *and hurry."

I did not have to ask who the third tea was for because the bell tinkled and Inspector Pound came in, a little out of breath.

*Inspector," Sidney Grice called, *I have reserved you a place and ordered you a tea."

*You always manage to beat me to it, Mr Grice." Inspector Pound flopped down in a chair between us. *And not a moment too soon by the look of it."

The door was flung open and four men, one struggling with a large black-draped camera on a tripod, rushed in, followed by two couples chattering excitedly and a coachman in splendid livery.

*Bitter experience sped me here," Sidney Grice said. *I shall never forget the Nurse Raddison case."

*Was she the one who drowned her elderly patients to p.a.w.n their clothes?" I asked. *That was dreadful."

*More dreadful than you know," Sidney Grice said. *There was such a crush for that one that I was unable to obtain a cup of tea for two consecutive days and my first Heat Retentive Bottle was smashed in the general mayhem."

*He was almost in tears," Inspector Pound told me as the waitress brought a tray and set its load upon our table. Sidney Grice lifted the lid from the teapot and asked, *From what part of Ceylon did this tea come?"

*Don"t know, sir."

*Is it the part that mixes old leaves with new in the hope that the customer will not notice?"

*Don"t know, sir."

*Take it away and bring a fresh pot immediately."

*It may take a while. I do have other people to see to, sir."

*As you so rightly say, they are other people," he told her. *So we need not concern ourselves with them."

She looked at him uncertainly. He pointed to the pot and she took it back to the kitchen.

*It seems we have Ashby well and truly kippered now," the inspector said.

*Sir Randolph nearly let us down, though," Sidney Grice commented, *after all those rehearsals. The man is an absolute imbecile. The only wonder is he did not lose his fortune sooner."

*You rehea.r.s.ed the witness?" I asked.

*Only to tell the truth," Inspector Pound said as the waitress brought another pot.

The bell clanged again and a large red-faced lady in a moss-green coat pushed through the gathering queue, her floral hat almost coming off her head.

*Whose truth?"

*You have been reading French philosophy." My guardian felt the temperature of the pot and lifted off the lid. *I must strongly advise you to desist before your brain is made complicated. The truth is the truth whatever its source. For example, it is indisputably true that that woman is fat whether I or a notorious liar say it and whether or not somebody has been reminded to say it."

*She can probably hear you," I said.

*Good." He sniffed the steam and peered into the pot. *There is little point in talking if you cannot be heard. I detest the modern fad for mumbling behind one"s hand. It is very continental."

*I am very sorry, madam," the waitress said, *but we do not have a table to spare."

*We could invite her to join us," I suggested.

*That would be the polite thing to do." Sidney Grice replaced the lid. *But, if word got about that I had started being polite, people might imagine that I had become thoughtful, rumours would spread that I was kind, and that is only one step away from being expected to perform acts of charity." He shuddered.

*Little fear of that," I said.

*I am not sure if I believe that the road to h.e.l.l is paved with good intentions," Sidney Grice said, *but the road to ruin certainly is. The tea is stewing, Miss Middleton."

I poured three cups through a silver strainer and splashed some milk into mine and the inspector"s. He spooned two sugars into his and stirred vigorously.

*The water is flat," Sidney said, and I raised my hand to attract the lady"s attention.

*We have a free chair," I called and my guardian groaned.

*I was about to point that out," the lady said, and turned to the waitress. *Fetch me a clean cup, miss, and more hot water."

*Yes, madam."

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