*I should not imagine he is a man who would admit when he is wrong," Father Brewster said. *That would take a great deal of humility and, from what I have seen of Mr Grice, he is far from burdened by that."
I laughed and said, *You have judged him well there."
Father Brewster took off his stole and kissed it and folded it on his lap.
*Why do you stay with him?"
*I need him."
Father Brewster shook his head.
*No, March, it is he who needs you."
I peered through the fretwork.
*He shows no sign of it."
Father Brewster nodded. *That is because he does not know it yet."
*I am sorry but this makes no sense to me."
I picked my handbag from the dusty stone floor and he said quietly, *You are in a great deal of pain, my child."
I looked at the stuffing creeping out of the leather kneeler and said, *I am quite well, thank you."
Father Brewster put down his missal.
*Does the drink help to ease it?"
*I do not know what you mean." I half stood to go but Father Brewster raised his hand.
*Will you let me bless you?"
I kneeled again and his hand made the sign of the cross as he said, *In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti..."
I closed my eyes and listened to the words and waited to feel something, but there was nothing other than the agony.
52.
Rugs and Pictures *This," my guardian declared as we went through an open doorway, *is where Sarah Ashby was brought up."
We entered a series of low rooms, which to judge from the bars and rusted mangers must have been a stable once. The first was empty apart from a few fat rats wandering lazily between piles of human excrement. Two families squatted in opposite corners of the next room. It was ten feet square and there were about a dozen of them.
There was moaning in the darkness of the room beyond.
*I have a florin," Sidney Grice declared, *for whoever knew Sarah Ashby as a child or can take me to any person who did."
A girl called out, *I knew "er, mister. Gimme the tin."
*You are too young."
*I knew "er," a sunken-chested woman said from where she lay propped wheezing against a wet wall. *When she was a Dillinger. I used to do for them, I did." Her clothes were so scant that I could see the outline of her thighs, caved in and twitching like a dreaming dog.
*Do?"
The woman shifted uncomfortably and I saw that under her makeshift cloth shawl was a yellow-faced baby.
*Clean and cook and the like."
*They had servants in this place?" I asked.
*They "ad me." She coughed wearily. *And this place used to be a likkle palace when they "ad it. Crystal Court Mansions they called it. Chairs and tables and beds raised off the floor, candles, rugs. There was even pictures on the walls a art, like."
If ever a square was misnamed it was Crystal Court. We had stumbled over refuse and around dung hills to enter the building.
*How did they make their money?" Sidney Grice jabbed a fat spider, squashing it on to the wall with his cane.
*Mrs Dillinger." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. *Came from money or so she "ad us believe, "er wiv all "er airs. Still "ad to go learning toffs" brats foreign gabble to make ends meet, though. Most of their money came from Mr Dillinger, I reckon. "E was a lot older than what "is missus was and scrawny as a bat. Funny bloke "e was, Jeremiah. All smiles and good fellow but I never trusted "im."
*Why not?" I asked.
She scratched her armpit, making it bleed. *Ran a gambling den a poker and the like. Many a geezer come "ere of a night but I never saw none leave wiv anyfink in their pockets."
*Sharp, was he?" Sidney Grice stamped on something that scuttled towards him.
*Sharp as cheese." The woman broke off to clear her chest.
*Did anyone ever complain?" I asked.
*A few but the missus kept a pacifier under "er seat and she was a dab "and at using it."
*What was Sarah like?" I asked, and my guardian grunted impatiently.
*Stuck-up little cow." The woman scratched her stomach through a rip in her dress. *Gawd, "er father spoilt "er stinkin" "e did. Nuffink too good or too much trouble for "is likkle princess and Gawd, she be"aved like one. She-"
*Why are these tiles cracked?" Sidney Grice broke in and I looked at the floor.
*There are lots of tiles broken."
*Yes." He traced an arc in the grime. *But why these ones?"
*I neither know nor care." I turned back. *Did you know William?" I asked and she spat down herself.
*Only when "e came courtin", Gawd "elp him. She "ad a pretty face, I"ll grant, but it "id an ugly "eart. We was all s"prised she went for a man wiv so likkle prospects. Her father had "er set up for a d.u.c.h.ess at least. Spittin" teeth "e was but would she listen? I fink she only went off to spite "im."
*Did she not love her father?"
Sidney Grice started humming tunelessly.
*n.o.body loved "im. You couldn"t if you was paid to."
My guardian examined his fingernails.
*Did William play poker?" I asked.
*Not "im." The woman found something under her dress and slapped herself a few times to kill it. *A proper gent "e was."
*Do you think he murdered Sarah?" I asked.
*I did not realize she was an expert witness," Sidney Grice grumbled.
*"Ope so." The baby started crying and his mother licked her thumb and stuck it in his mouth. *Or they strung "im up for nuffink."
*Were you surprised?" I asked.
*Not s"prised that somebody did away wiv "er. S"prised at w.i.l.l.y, though a gentle as a snail "e was. "Aven"t I earned my florin yet?"
Sidney Grice tossed her a coin and she tested it between her gums, wheezing helplessly.
*For another of those you can "ave your way wiv my body, mister. Whatever you want so long as I don"t "ave to stand up. I can"t do that but I ain"t got no diseases."
My guardian regarded her with disgust. *For G.o.d"s sake, woman, you have a child."
*Baby don"t care, but the girl can "old it if you"re shy."
*Animals," he said.
*Your baby has jaundice," I told her. *You could take him to the London Hospital for free treatment."
The woman looked up at me.
*One less mouth to feed," she said, her face blank with pain.
53.
The Vestry Grace Dillinger"s face was ghostly when she ushered me in, peering out before she closed the door.
*You have not told your guardian you were coming here?"
*No, but I cannot see what harm-"
*Who knows what harm that man can do me or my baby yet." She slid an iron bolt across and we sat between two racks of altar boys" vestments.
*Has there been any progress on Alice Hawkins" murder?" she asked.
*Not much," I said. *My guardian still seems intent on finding more evidence against William."
*He will find none because there is none." Grace swept her head back. *Oh, why can he not let poor William rest in peace? Even Mr Grice cannot kill him twice."
*Are you still intent on emigrating?" I asked and she bit her lower lip.
*My desire is as strong as ever, but my means have never been weaker. I stood surety for William"s legal fees so I am obliged to settle before I can leave. I have had to sell my rings." She held up her bare hands.
*I am not a wealthy woman either" a I handed her an envelope a *but would this be enough?"
*Good heavens." She flicked through the notes. *There must be nearly two hundred pounds here."
*Two hundred and twenty," I said. *I think that should pay for your voyage and support you for a while until you find your feet."
*But I cannot take this." She tidied her hair in agitation.
*You must. My money got you into this... situation. I know there is nothing I can do to rectify that, but at least my money may do some good this time."
Grace Dillinger took my hand.
*You are so good." She kissed me. *Too good... I shall go to the shipping office first thing in the morning. There is only a week to spare." She looked into my eyes and hers narrowed a little. *You will not tell your guardian anything of this a meeting me or your kind gift?"
*Of course not."
Grace Dillinger smiled, but then said, *What is the matter?"
*I am sorry it is ending this way. Can I see you off?"
*It is better to say goodbye now."
We stood up.
*Shall I never see you again?"
Grace Dillinger hugged me.
*G.o.d bless you, March Middleton," she whispered.