*I make it sound what it is. Especially when one remembers that the cow only has milk to spare because her calf has been dragged from her to have its throat cut. If I were not such an excellent host I would not have milk in the house. Even the word curdles on my tongue."
I put the jug down and asked, *What happened to Jonathon Carvil?"
*He too claimed to have been disturbed by a door closing. The jury did not believe him."
*Were you involved in that case?"
I noticed there were no pictures on the walls or photographs on the desk.
*Carvil consulted me." He sniffed his tea suspiciously. *And I counselled him to flee the country, but he ignored my advice and took the drop in consequence. I never like to lose a client but it taught me one very important lesson a always to insist on being paid in advance." He screwed his face up and tugged sharply upon the bell pull. It had an ivory skull on its end, which joggled about when he let go. *This tea is cold and stewed."
*And you think the Ashby case will take the same course?"
*Almost certainly." Sidney Grice tossed me the letter. *Take a look at that."
On the envelope in big clumsy capitals was written in pencil: MR GRISE DITECTIVE.
The sheet of paper was similarly inscribed, the words sloping down to the right of the page:
DEAR MR GRISE.
PLEASE HELP ME I AM AN INNASENT MAN.
YOURS TRUELY.
WILLIAM ASHBY.
Molly came in, and he said, *Fill my bottle, Molly, and when the doorbell is rung, I shall answer it myself."
*Yes, sir." Molly left, and Sidney Grice asked, *What do you make of it then?"
*It is an uneducated hand."
*Obviously. But why was it written?"
*To ask for your help," I answered, and Sidney Grice snorted.
*I hardly think so," he said. *Why send that half-illiterate scrawl with such an articulate and attractive woman to plead your case?"
I said, *You seem to have formed a very good opinion of her," and Sidney Grice tugged his ear.
*One of the most intelligent women I have ever come across," he replied.
I finished my tea and asked, *But what other reason could he have for writing it?"
Sidney Grice put his fingers to his eye.
*I do not know the answer to that yet." He pushed the eye towards his nose. *But I cannot help feeling that the key to the whole problem might lie in this letter." He stood up. *But we have wasted enough time already. I must run up the flag."
We went into the hallway, where there was a small bra.s.s wheel with a handle on the wall, and he proceeded to turn it contra-clockwise about half a dozen revolutions.
*It raises a green flag outside," he explained. *The local cabbies know that I tip well enough for them to look out for it."
Molly hurried up with a brown bottle which he took from her without a word, slid it into a scratched leather satchel on the table and lifted an Ulster coat from a rack on the opposite wall.
*Where are we going?" I asked and Sidney Grice paused, arm in sleeve.
*We?"
*Have you forgotten my condition?"
*I never forget anything," he said, slipping his coat on, *least of all conditions, and I shall take you to any meetings that may be conducted during this investigation. But I am going now to the mortuary, hardly a place fit for the entertainment of a young lady."
*I have not asked to be entertained," I told him, *and, if you will not take me, I must tell you that our agreement is terminated."
He chose a silver-topped ebony cane from an old oak stand. *You would disappoint Mrs Dillinger so cruelly because you cannot have your own way?" He put on a wide-brimmed soft felt hat.
*It is not I who breaks our contract."
The doorbell rang and he said, *It is no place for feminine sensitivities."
He turned the handle clockwise and put the satchel over his shoulder.
*I may be feminine," I said, *but n.o.body has ever accused me of being sensitive. You leave me with no choice but to withdraw my offer."
Sidney Grice scowled and opened the door to a cabby.
*I shall be out directly." He turned back to me. *I will not be dictated to, especially by a girl." He s.n.a.t.c.hed up a pair of leather gloves. *Besides, it is very cold in the mortuary. You will need your cloak."
7.
The Hansom Cab In the hansom cab Sidney Grice explained.
*Evidence deteriorates," he said, *but at very different rates. For instance, the hand of man can be seen on the pyramids of Egypt some thousands of years after they were built, but if a b.u.t.terfly were to land on that ledge, the evidence of its presence would disappear the moment a breeze took it away."
*Unless one managed to make a photograph of it," I said, and my guardian tutted.
The hansom lurched round a pile of wood and Sidney Grice said, *There are three main portions of evidence in this case. The first is the victim, or rather her body, and she must be our primary concern, for bodies and the clues which they might give us deteriorate rapidly. The second is the scene of the crime. The longer evidence is left, the more likely it is to be deliberately or accidentally destroyed or removed. The third is the suspect himself. We can leave him to the last because we know that he is not going anywhere. It may give him time to fine-tune his story but, in my experience, the longer a criminal is in police custody, the more he is likely to lose his nerve and become confused or even confess. Once we have identified and examined those three items a victim, scene and murderer a it is only a question of linking them, and then we can all go home for a nice cup of tea and look forward to a good hanging."
Sidney Grice took the bottle from his satchel, uncorked it and took a swig.
*The Grice Heat Retentive Bottle," he told me. *It was made to my instructions in a gla.s.s-blowing factory on the island of Murano."
We bounced over a pothole and my head hit the window.
*What does it do?"
*Why, it keeps my tea hot enough to drink with pleasure for up to three hours." He took a swig. *It consists of a smaller bottle inside this outer bottle, the s.p.a.ce between them being filled with lambs" wool which, as you are aware, is a great retainer of heat. This is why we make our clothes and blankets from it." He took another draught and reinserted the cork, tapping it firmly into place with the ball of his thumb. *One day I shall go into the manufacture of my invention and retire to my estate in Dorset, where I shall write my memoirs, drill for oil and keep bees."
The horse stumbled and the hansom rocked.
*I have an improvement to suggest." I caught hold of the steady strap. *You could design a cup to put over the end and perhaps clamp on to the bottle."
*And what benefit would that bring?"
*Why, then you could offer your companion some refreshment as well," I said.
Sidney Grice considered the matter before shaking his head. *It would only add to the already considerable difficulty and cost of manufacture. Besides which I never travel with anyone to whom I should wish to offer my tea. There would be less for me and what would be the point of that?"
*Kindness," I said, and my guardian rolled his eye.
*The poor, I am told, are kind to each other but that is because they have nothing to lose," he said. *The rich cannot afford to be. What did you make of Mrs Dillinger?"
He put the bottle away.
*She seemed a very nice lady," I said.
*But what did you notice about her?"
I let go of the strap.
*She has been comfortably off and fallen on hard times, but never desperate ones."
*And how did you come to those conclusions?"
A man on a dappled horse overtook us and blew me a kiss.
*Her dress was of good quality but she could not afford to buy new mourning clothes so she had it dyed," I said, *and she had done some minor repairs to it. Also she wore a ruby ring, which must have been expensive, but she has not been forced to sell it yet. What did you observe?"
*All those things," he said, *and the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. I should not be surprised if there were aristocratic blood in her veins as well."
*As well as what?"
*As well as mine," he said. *Charles Le Grice was at the Conqueror"s side at Hastings and would have been lord of all Northumbria if he had not fallen out with William about who shot the arrow which killed a stag in Colchester."
*I cannot imagine a Grice falling out with anyone," I said, and my guardian looked at me.
A street urchin ran alongside and jumped on to the running board.
*Spare a copper, guv." But my guardian rapped the boy"s knuckles with his cane and he fell away.
*How did you set out to become a private detective?" I asked as we swung round a fruit stall.
*Personal detective," Sidney Grice said. *Bedrooms are private. I am personal."
*When was your first case?"
*Whilst I was still at school," he told me. *I was able to prove that the boy who had been awarded the Latin prize had cheated with the aid of his housemaster, with whom he had struck up what I can only describe as an inappropriate relationship."
*That was a n.o.ble deed."
We were making good progress up a long straight road, the clatter of hooves on cobbles reverberating from the tall buildings either side.
*And lucrative," Sidney Grice said. *The father of the boy who rightfully received the prize gave me two shillings for my services. It was then that I realized I could use my natural quick-wittedness, acute senses, superlative observational powers and prodigious intellect in the profitable pursuit of criminals."
The hansom slowed.
*It must be very satisfying to see justice done," I said, and Sidney Grice puffed.
*It is more satisfying to see people punished, but I do like to be sure they are the right people. Of course, the higher one moves up the social strata the more important this becomes. One can afford to make mistakes with the occasional prost.i.tute, but you would have to be very sure of your facts indeed before you hanged a bishop."
We turned down a narrow alley before coming to a halt, and there was only just enough room for us to scramble out along the side of a high wall.
*Wait for us here," Sidney Grice called up, but the cabby shook his head.
*Not "ere," he croaked. *It give me goose-flesh, it do, and it spook me "orse, and a spooked "orse ain"t no more use than a blind beggar"s dead fleas on these streets. I"ll be up there at the end of the alley."
*Mind the drain," Sidney Grice said as we went round the front of the hansom. *And watch out for the horse. Horses bite."
He rapped on a plain black door. The horse was reversing reluctantly.
*Horses like to see where they are going," Sidney Grice said.
*We do have horses in the country," I told him.
*Quite so," he said, *but these are London horses."
He let the knocker fall again and a hatch slid open in the door.
*Good afternoon, Parker."
*Mr Grice." The door was opened by a short man in a stained laboratory coat. *Come in," he said, but as we stepped forward he stopped us. *What"s this about? You know there"s no ladies allowed in here."