The captain shifted his feet. He shook his head. "I"m sorry this is happening. I"m sorry about it all."
"I am too. I guess I"d better take you back now so you can start the attack."
"I guess so."
"Captain, I won"t kill you. When it"s all over, you"ll still be alive."
"What?"
"I decided when I started that you"d be untouched."
"Well ... "
"I"ll save you out from the rest. When they"re dead, perhaps you"ll change your mind."
"No," said the captain. "There"s too much Earth blood in me. I"ll have to keep after you."
"Even when you have a chance to stay here?"
"It"s funny, but yes, even with that. I don"t know why. I"ve never asked myself. Well, here we are." They had returned to their meeting place now. "Will you come quietly, Spender? This is my last offer."
"Thanks, no." Spender put out his hand. "One last thing. If you win, do me a favor. See what can be done to restrict tearing this planet apart, at least for fifty years, until the archaeologists have had a decent chance, will you?"
"Right."
"And last-if it helps any, just think of me as a very crazy fellow who went berserk one summer day and never was right again. It"ll be a little easier on you that way."
"I"ll think it over. So long, Spender. Good luck."
"You"re an odd one," said Spender as the captain walked back down the trail in the warm-blowing wind.
The captain returned like something lost to his dusty men. He kept squinting at the sun and breathing bard.
"Is there a drink?" he said. He felt a bottle put cool into his hand. "Thanks." He drank. He wiped his mouth.
"All right," he said. "Be careful. We have all the time we want. I don"t want any more lost. You"ll have to kill him. He won"t come down. Make it a clean shot if you can. Don"t mess him. Get it over with."
"I"ll blow his d.a.m.ned brains out," said Sam Parkhill.
"No, through the chest," said the captain. He could see Spender"s strong, clearly determined face.
"His b.l.o.o.d.y brains," said Parkhill.
The captain handed him the bottle jerkingly. "You heard what I said. Through the chest."
Parkhill muttered to himself.
"Now," said the captain.
They spread again, walking and then running, and then walking on the hot hillside places where there would be sudden cool grottoes that smelled of moss, and sudden open blasting places that smelled of sun on stone.
I hate being clever, thought the captain, when you don"t really feel clever and don"t want to be clever. To sneak around and make plans and feel big about making them. I hate this feeling of thinking I"m doing right when I"m not really certain I am. Who are we, anyway? The majority? Is that the answer? The majority is always holy, is it not? Always, always; just never wrong for one little insignificant tiny moment, is it? Never ever wrong in ten million years? He thought: What is this majority and who are in it? And what do they think and how did they get that way and will they ever change and how the devil did I get caught in this rotten majority? I don"t feel comfortable. Is it claustrophobia, fear of crowds, or common sense? Can one man be right, while all the world thinks they are right? Let"s not think about it. Let"s crawl around and act exciting and pull the trigger. There, and there! there!
The men ran and ducked and ran and squatted in shadows and showed their teeth, gasping, for the air was thin, not meant for running; the air was thin and they had to sit for five minutes at a time, wheezing and seeing black lights in their eyes, eating at the thin air and wanting more, tightening their eyes, and at last getting up, lifting their guns to tear holes in that thin summer air, holes of sound and heat.
Spender remained where he was, firing only on occasion.
"d.a.m.ned brains all over!" Parkhill yelled, running uphill.
The captain aimed his gun at Sam Parkhill. He put it down and stared at it in horror. "What were you doing?" he asked of his limp hand and the gun.
He had almost shot Parkhill in the back.
"G.o.d help me."
He saw Parkhill still running, then falling to lie safe.
Spender was being gathered in by a loose, running net of men. At the hilltop, behind two rocks, Spender lay, grinning with exhaustion from the thin atmosphere, great islands of sweat under each arm. The captain saw the two rocks. There was an interval between them of some four inches, giving free access to Spender"s chest.
"Hey, you!" cried Parkhill. "Here"s a slug for your head!"
Captain Wilder waited. Go on, Spender, he thought. Get out, like you said you would. You"ve only a few minutes to escape. Get out and come back later. Go on. You said you would. Go down in the tunnels you said you found, and lie there and live for months and years, reading your fine books and bathing in your temple pools. Go on, now, man, before it"s too late.
Spender did not move from his position.
"What"s wrong with him?" the captain asked himself.
The captain picked up his gun. He watched the running, hiding men. He looked at the towers of the little clean Martian village, like sharply carved chess pieces lying in the afternoon. He saw the rocks and the interval between where Spender"s chest was revealed.
Parkhill was charging up, screaming in fury.
"No, Parkhill," said the captain. "I can"t let you do it. Nor the others. No, none of you. Only me." He raised the gun and sighted it.
Will I be clean after this? he thought. Is it right that it"s me who does it? Yes, it is. I know what I"m doing for what reason and it"s right, because I think I"m the right person. I hope and pray I can live up to this.
He nodded his head at Spender. "Go on," he called in a loud whisper which no one heard. "I"ll give you thirty seconds more to get away. Thirty seconds!"
The watch ticked on his wrist, The captain watched it tick. The men were running. Spender did not move. The watch ticked for a long time, very loudly in the captain"s ears. "Go on, Spender, go on, get away!"
The thirty seconds were up.
The gun was sighted. The captain drew a deep breath. "Spender," he said, exhaling.
He pulled the trigger.
All that happened was that a faint powdering of rock went up in the sunlight. The echoes of the report faded.
The captain arose and called to his men: "He"s dead."
The other men did not believe it. Their angles had prevented their seeing that particular. fissure in the rocks. They saw their captain run up the hill, alone, and thought him either very brave or insane.
The men came after him a few minutes later.
They gathered around the body and someone said, "In the chest?"
The captain looked down. "In the chest," he said, He saw how the rocks had changed color under Spender. "I wonder why he waited. I wonder why he didn"t escape as he planned. I wonder why he stayed on and got himself killed."
"Who knows?" someone said.
Spender lay there, his hands clasped, one around the gun, the other around the silver book that glittered in the sun.
Was it because of me? thought the captain. Was it because I refused to give in myself? Did Spender hate the idea of killing me? Am I any different from these others here? Is that what did it? Did he figure he could trust me? What other answer is there?
None. He squatted by the silent body.
I"ve got to live up to this, he thought. I can"t let him down now. If he figured there was something in me that was like himself and couldn"t kill me because of it, then what a job I have ahead of me! That"s it, yes, that"s it. I"m Spender all over again, but I think before I shoot. I don"t shoot at all, I don"t kill. I do things with people. And he couldn"t kill me because I was himself under a slightly different condition.
The captain felt the sunlight on the back of his neck. He heard himself talking: "If only he had come to me and talked it over before he shot anybody, we could have worked it out somehow."
"Worked what out?" said Parkhill. "What could we have worked out with his his likes?" likes?"
There was a singing of heat in the land, off the rocks and off the blue sky. "I guess you"re right," said the captain. "We could never have got together. Spender and myself, perhaps. But Spender and you and the others, no, never, He"s better off now. Let me have a drink from that canteen."
It was the captain who suggested the empty sarcophagus for Spender. They had found an ancient Martian tomb yard. They put Spender into a silver case with waxes and wines which were ten thousand years old, his hands folded on his chest. The last they saw of him was his peaceful face.
They stood for a moment in the ancient vault. "I think it would be a good idea for you to think of Spender from time to time," said the captain.
They walked from the vault and shut the marble door.
The next afternoon Parkhill did some target practice in one of the dead cities, shooting out the crystal windows and blowing the tops off the fragile towers. The captain caught Parkhill and knocked his teeth out.
August 2001: THE SETTLERS.
The men of Earth came to Mars.
They came because they were afraid or unafraid, because they were happy or unhappy, because they felt like Pilgrims or did not feel like Pilgrims. There was a reason for each man. They were leaving bad wives or bad jobs or bad towns; they were coming to find something or leave something or get something, to dig up something or bury something or leave something alone. They were coming with small dreams or large dreams or none at all. But a government finger pointed from four-color posters in many towns: THERE"S WORK FOR YOU IN THE SKY: SEE MARS! and the men shuffled forward, only a few at first, a double-score, for most men felt the great illness in them even before the rocket fired into s.p.a.ce. And this disease was called The Loneliness, because when you saw your home town dwindle the size of your fist and then lemon-size and then pin-size and vanish in the fire-wake, you felt you had never been born, there was no town, you were nowhere, with s.p.a.ce all around, nothing familiar, only other strange men. And when the state of Illinois, Iowa, Missouri, or Montana vanished into cloud seas, and, doubly, when the United States shrank to a misted island and the entire planet Earth became a muddy baseball tossed away, then you were alone, wandering in the meadows of s.p.a.ce, on your way to a place you couldn"t imagine.
So it was not unusual that the first men were few. The number grew steadily in proportion to the census of Earth Men already on Mars. There was comfort in numbers. But the first Lonely Ones had to stand by themselves.
December 2001: THE GREEN MORNING.
When the sun set he crouched by the path and cooked a small supper and listened to the fire crack while he put the food in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. It had been a day not unlike thirty others, with many neat holes dug in the dawn hours, seeds dropped in, and water brought from the bright ca.n.a.ls. Now, with an iron weariness in his slight body, he lay and watched the sky color from one darkness to another.
His name was Benjamin Driscoll, and he was thirty-one years old. And the thing that be wanted was Mars grown green and tall with trees and foliage, producing air, more air, growing larger with each season; trees to cool the towns in the boiling summer, trees to hold back the winter winds. There were so many things a tree could do: add color, provide shade, drop fruit, or become a children"s playground, a whole sky universe to climb and hang from; an architecture of food and pleasure, that was a tree. But most of all the trees would distill an icy air for the lungs, and a gentle rustling for the ear when you lay nights in your snowy bed and were gentled to sleep by the sound.
He lay listening to the dark earth gather itself, waiting for the sun, for the rains that hadn"t come yet. His ear to the ground, he could hear the feet of the years ahead moving at a distance, and he imagined the seeds he had placed today sprouting up with green and taking hold on the sky, pushing out branch after branch, until Mars was an afternoon forest, Mars was a shining orchard.
In the early morning, with the small sun lifting faintly among the folded hills, he would be up and finished with a smoky breakfast in a few minutes and, trodding out the fire ashes, be on his way with knapsacks, testing, digging, placing seed or sprout, tamping lightly, watering, going on, whistling, looking at the clear sky brightening toward a warm noon.
"You need the air," he told his night fire. The fire was a ruddy, lively companion that snapped back at you, that slept close by with drowsy pink eyes warm through the chilly night. "We all need the air. It"s a thin air here on Mars. You get tired so soon. It"s like living in the Andes, in South America, high. You inhale and don"t get anything. It doesn"t satisfy."
He felt his rib case. In thirty days, how it had grown. To take in more air, they would all have to build their lungs. Or plant more trees.
"That"s what I"m here for," he said. The fire popped. "In school they told a story about Johnny Appleseed walking across America planting apple trees. Well, I"m doing more. I"m planting oaks, elms, and maples, every kind of tree, aspens and deodars and chestnuts. Instead of making just fruit for the stomach, I"m making air for the lungs. When those trees grow up some year, think think of the oxygen they"ll make!" of the oxygen they"ll make!"
He remembered his arrival on Mars. Like a thousand others, he had gazed out upon a still morning and thought, How do I fit here? What will I do? Is there a job for me?
Then he had fainted.
Someone pushed a vial of ammonia to his nose and, coughing, he came around.
"You"ll be all right," said the doctor.
"What happened?"
"The air"s pretty thin. Some can"t take it. I think you"ll have to go back to Earth."
"No!" He sat up and almost immediately felt his eyes darken and Mars revolve twice around under him. His nostrils dilated and he forced his lungs to drink in deep nothingness. "I"ll be all right. I"ve got to stay here!"
They let him lie gasping in horrid fishlike motions. And he thought, Air, air, air. They"re sending me back because of air. And he turned his head to look across the Martian fields and hills. He brought them to focus, and the first thing he noticed was that there were no trees, no trees at all, as far as you could look in any direction. The land was down upon itself, a land of black loam, but nothing on it, not even gra.s.s. Air, he thought, the thin stuff whistling in his nostrils. Air, air. And on top of hills, or in their shadows, or even by little creeks, not a tree and not a single green blade of gra.s.s. Of course! He felt the answer came not from his mind, but his lungs and his throat. And the thought was like a sudden gust of pure oxygen, raising him up. Trees and gra.s.s. He looked down at his hands and turned them over. He would plant trees and gra.s.s. That would be his job, to fight against the very thing that might prevent his staying here. He would have a private horticultural war with Mars. There lay the old soil, and the plants of it so ancient they had worn themselves out. But what if new forms were introduced? Earth trees, great mimosas and weeping willows and magnolias and magnificent eucalyptus. What then? There was no guessing what mineral wealth hid in the soil, untapped because the old ferns, flowers, bushes, and trees had tired themselves to death.
"Let me up!" he shouted. "I"ve got to see the Co-ordinator!"
He and the Co-ordinator had talked an entire morning about things that grew and were green. It would be months, if not years, before organized planting began. So far, frosted food was brought from Earth in flying icicles; a few community gardens were greening up in hydroponic plants.
"Meanwhile," said the Co-ordinator, "it"s your job. We"ll get what seed we can for you, a little equipment. s.p.a.ce on the rockets is mighty precious now. I"m afraid, since these first towns are mining communities, there won"t be much sympathy for your tree planting-"
"But you"ll let me do it?"
They let him do it. Provided with a single motorcycle, its bin full of rich seeds and sprouts, he had parked his vehicle in the valley wilderness and struck out on foot over the land.
That had been thirty days ago, and he had never glanced back. For looking back would have been sickening to the heart. The weather was excessively dry; it was doubtful if any seeds had sprouted yet. Perhaps his entire campaign, his four weeks of bending and scooping were lost. He kept his eyes only ahead of him, going on down this wide shallow valley under the sun, away from First Town, waiting for the rains to come.
Clouds were gathering over the dry mountains now as he drew his blanket over his shoulders. Mars was a place as unpredictable as time. He felt the baked hills simmering down into frosty night, and he thought of the rich, inky soil, a soil so black and shiny it almost crawled and stirred in your fist, a rank soil from which might sprout gigantic beanstalks from which, with bone-shaking concussion, might drop screaming giants.
The fire fluttered into sleepy ash. The air tremored to the distant roll of a cartwheel. Thunder. A sudden odor of water. Tonight, he thought, and put his hand out to feel for rain. Tonight.
He awoke to a tap on his brow.
Water ran down his nose into his lips. Another drop hit his eye, blurring it, Another splashed his chin.