"Lady Sarah has a theatre-party to-night, and I am dining with her," she said. "It is an early dinner, so I must think about dressing. I"m sorry you think I tried to draw you into anything. I must have explained myself badly." She laughed a little, to cover the slight discomfiture that her tone betrayed, and as she laughed she moved across the room towards the door.
Loder, engrossed in the check to his own schemes, incensed at the suddenness of Chilcote"s recall, and still more incensed at his own folly in not having antic.i.p.ated it, was oblivious for the moment of both her movement and her words. Then, quite abruptly, they obtruded themselves upon him, breaking through his egotism with something of the sharpness of pain following a blow. Turning quickly from the fireplace, he faced the shadowy room across which she had pa.s.sed, but simultaneously with his turning she gained the door.
The knowledge that she was gone struck him with a sense of double loss. "Wait!" he called, suddenly moving forward. But almost at once he paused, chilled by the solitude of the room.
"Eve!" he said, using her name unconsciously for the first time.
But the corridor, as well as the room, was empty; he was too late.
He stood irresolute; then he laughed shortly, turned, and pa.s.sed back towards the fireplace.
The blow had fallen, the inevitable come to pa.s.s, and nothing remained but to take the fact with as good a grace as possible. Chilcote"s telegram had summoned him to Clifford"s Inn at seven o"clock, and it was now well on towards six. He pulled out his watch--Chilcote"s watch he realized, with a touch of grim humor as he stooped to examine the dial by the light of the fire; then, as if the humor had verged to another feeling, he stood straight again and felt for the electric b.u.t.ton in the wall. His fingers touched it, and simultaneously the room was lighted.
The abrupt alteration from shadow to light came almost as a shock. The feminine arrangement of the tea-table seemed incongruous beside the sober books and the desk laden with papers--incongruous as his own presence in the place. The thought was unpleasant, and he turned aside as if to avoid it; but at the movement his eyes fell on Chilcote"s cigarette-box with its gleaming monogram, and the whimsical suggestion of his first morning rose again. The idea that the inanimate objects in the room knew him for what he was--recognized the interloper where human eyes saw the rightful possessor--returned to his mind. Through all his disgust and chagrin a smile forced itself to his lips, and, crossing the room for the second time, he pa.s.sed into Chilcote"s bedroom.
There the ma.s.sive furniture and sombre atmosphere fitted better with his mood than the energy and action which the study always suggested.
Walking directly to the great bed, he sat on its side and for several minutes stared straight in front of him, apparently seeing nothing; then at last the apathy pa.s.sed from him, as his previous anger against Chilcote had pa.s.sed. He stood up slowly, drawing his long limbs together, and recrossed the room, pa.s.sing along the corridor and through the door communicating with the rest of the house. Five minutes later he was in the open air and walking steadily eastward, his hat drawn forward and his overcoat b.u.t.toned up.
As he traversed the streets he allowed himself no thought, Once, as he waited in Trafalgar Square to find a pa.s.sage between the vehicles, the remembrance of Chilcote"s voice coming out of the fog on their first night made itself prominent, but he rejected it quickly, guarding himself from even an involuntary glance at the place of their meeting.
The Strand, with its unceasing life, came to him as something almost unfamiliar. Since his identification with the new life no business had drawn him east of Charing Cross, and his first sight of the narrower stream of traffic struck him as garish and unpleasant. As the impression came he accelerated his steps, moved by the wish to make regret and retrospection alike impossible by a contact with actual forces.
Still walking hastily, he entered Clifford"s Inn, but there almost unconsciously his feet halted. There was something in the quiet immutability of the place that sobered energy, both mental and physical.
A sense of changelessness--the changelessness of inanimate things, that rises in such solemn contrast to the variableness of mere human nature, which a new environment, a new outlook, sometimes even a new presence, has power to upheave and remould. He paused; then with slower and steadier steps crossed the little court and mounted the familiar stairs of his own house.
As he turned the handle of his own door some one stirred inside the sitting-room. Still under the influence of the stones and trees that he had just left, he moved directly towards the sound, and, without waiting for permission, entered the room. After the darkness of the pa.s.sage it seemed well alight, for, besides the lamp with its green shade, a large fire burned in the grate and helped to dispel the shadows.
As he entered the room Chilcote rose and came forward, his figure thrown into strong relief by the double light. He was dressed in a shabby tweed suit; his face looked pale and set with a slightly nervous tension, but besides the look and a certain added restlessness of glance there was no visible change. Reaching Loder, he held out his hand.
"Well?" he said, quickly.
The other looked at him questioningly.
"Well? Well? How has it gone?"
"The scheme? Oh, excellently!" Loder"s manner was abrupt. Turning from the restless curiosity in Chilcote"s eyes, he moved a little way across the room and began to draw off his coat. Then, as if struck by the incivility of the action, he looked back again. "The scheme has gone extraordinarily," he said. "I could almost say absurdly. There are some things, Chilcote, that fairly bowl a man over."
A great relief tinged Chilcote"s face. "Good!" he exclaimed. "Tell me all about it."
But Loder was reticent. The moment was not propitious. It was as if a hungry man had dreamed a great banquet and had awakened to his starvation. He was chary of imparting his visions.
"There"s nothing to tell," he said, shortly. "All that you"ll want to know is here in black and white. I don"t think you"ll find I have slipped anything; it"s a clear business record." From an inner pocket he drew out a bulky note-book, and, recrossing the room, laid it open on the table. It was a correct, even a minute, record of every action that had been accomplished in Chilcote"s name. "I don"t think you"ll find any loose ends," he said, as he turned back the pages. "I had you and your position in my mind all through." He paused and glanced up from the book. "You have a position that absolutely insists upon attention," he added, in a different voice.
At the new tone Chilcote looked up as well. "No moral lectures!" he said, with a nervous laugh. "I was anxious to know if you had pulled it off--and you have rea.s.sured me. That"s enough. I was in a funk this afternoon to know how things were going-one of those sudden, unreasonable funks. But now that I see you"--he cut himself short and laughed once more "now that I see you, I"m hanged if I don"t want to--to prolong your engagement."
Loder glanced at him, then glanced away. He felt a quick shame at the eagerness that rose at the words--a surprised contempt at his own readiness to antic.i.p.ate the man"s weakness. But almost as speedily as he had turned away he looked back again.
"Tush, man!" he said, with his old, intolerant manner. "You"re dreaming.
You"ve had your holiday and school"s begun again. You must remember you are dining with the Charringtons to-night. Young Charrington"s coming of age--quite a big business. Come along! I want my clothes." He laughed, and, moving closer to Chilcote, slapped him on the shoulder.
Chilcote started; then, suddenly becoming imbued with the other"s manner, he echoed the laugh.
"By Jove!" he said, "you"re right! You"re quite right! A man must keep his feet in their own groove." Raising his hand, he began to fumble with his tie.
But Loder kept the same position. "You"ll find the check-book in its usual drawer," he said. "I"ve made one entry of a hundred pounds--pay for the first week. The rest can stand over until--" He paused abruptly.
Chilcote shifted his position. "Don"t talk about that. It upsets me to antic.i.p.ate. I can make out a check to-morrow payable to John Loder."
"No. That can wait. The name of Loder is better out of the book. We can"t be too careful." Loder spoke with unusual impetuosity. Already a slight, unreasonable jealousy was coloring his thoughts. Already he grudged the idea of Chilcote with his unstable glance and restless fingers opening the drawers and sorting the papers that for one stupendous fortnight had been his without question. Turning aside, he changed the subject brusquely.
"Come into the bedroom," he said. "It"s half-past seven if it"s a minute, and the Charringtons" show is at nine." Without waiting for a reply, he walked across the room and held the door open.
There was no silence while they exchanged clothes. Loder talked continuously, sometimes in short, curt sentences, sometimes with ironic touches of humor; he talked until Chilcote, strangely affected by contact with another personality after his weeks of solitude, fell under his influence--his excitement rising, his imagination stirring at the novelty of change. At last, garbed once more in the clothes of his own world, he pa.s.sed from the bedroom back into the sitting-room, and there halted, waiting for his companion.
Almost directly Loder followed. He came into the room quietly, and, moving at once to the table, picked up the note-book.
"I"m not going to preach," he began, "so you needn"t shut me up. But I"ll say just one thing--a thing that will get said. Try and keep your hold! Remember your responsibilities--and keep your hold!" He spoke energetically, looking earnestly into Chilcote"s eyes. He did not realize it, but he was pleading for his own career.
Chilcote paled a little, as he always did in face of a reality. Then he extended his hand.
"My dear fellow," he said, with a touch of hauteur, "a man can generally be trusted to look after his own life."
Extricating his hand almost immediately, he turned towards the door and without a word of farewell pa.s.sed into the little hall, leaving Loder alone in the sitting-room.
XII
On the night of Chilcote"s return to his own, Loder tasted the lees of life poignantly for the first time. Before their curious compact had been entered upon he had been, if not content, at least apathetic; but with action the apathy had been dispersed, never again to regain its old position.
He realized with bitter certainty that his was no real home-coming. On entering Chilcote"s house he had experienced none of the unfamiliarity, none of the unsettled awkwardness, that a.s.sailed him now. There he had almost seemed the exile returning after many hardships; here, in the atmosphere made common by years, he felt an alien. It was ill.u.s.trative of the man"s character that sentimentalities found no place in his nature. Sentiments were not lacking, though they lay out of sight, but sentimentalities he altogether denied.
Left alone in the sitting-room after Chilcote"s departure, his first sensation was one of physical discomfort and unfamiliarity. His own clothes, with their worn looseness, brought no sense of friendliness such as some men find in an old garment. Lounging, and the clothes that suggested lounging, had no appeal for him. In his eyes the garb that implies responsibility was symbolic and even inspiring.
And, as with clothes, so with his actual surroundings. Each detail of his room was familiar, but not one had ever become intimately close.
He had used the place for years, but he had used it as he might use a hotel; and whatever of his household G.o.ds had come with him remained, like himself, on sufferance. His entrance into Chilcote"s surroundings had been altogether different. Unknown to himself, he had been in the position of a young artist who, having roughly modelled in clay, is brought into the studio of a sculptor. To his outward vision everything is new, but his inner sight leaps to instant understanding. Amid all the strangeness he recognizes the one essential--the workshop, the atmosphere, the home.
On this first night of return Loder comprehended something of his position; and, comprehending, he faced the problem and fought with it.
He had made his bargain and must pay his share. Weighing this, he had looked about his room with a quiet gaze. Then at last, as if finding the object really sought for, his eyes had come round to the mantel-piece and rested on the pipe-rack. The pipes stood precisely as he had left them. He had looked at them for a long time, then an ironic expression that was almost a smile had touched his lips, and, crossing the room, he had taken the oldest and blackest from its place and slowly filled it with tobacco.
With the first indrawn breath of smoke his att.i.tude had unbent. Without conscious determination, he had chosen the one factor capable of easing his mood. A cigarette is for the trivial moments of life; a cigar for its fulfilments, its pleasant, comfortable retrospections; but in real distress--in the solving of question, the fighting of difficulty--a pipe is man"s eternal solace,
So he had pa.s.sed the first night of his return to the actualities of life. Next day his mind was somewhat settled and outward aid was not so essential; but though facts faced him more solidly, they were nevertheless very drab in shade. The necessity for work, that blessed antidote to ennui, no longer forced him to endeavor. He was no longer penniless; but the money, he possessed brought with it no desires. When a man has lived from hand to mouth for years, and suddenly finds himself with a hundred pounds in his pocket, the result is sometimes curious. He finds with a vague sense of surprise that he has forgotten how to spend.
That extravagance, like other artificial pa.s.sions, requires cultivation.
This he realized even more fully on the days that followed the night of his first return; and with it was born a new bitterness. The man who has friends and no money may find life difficult; but the man who has money and no friend to rejoice in his fortune or benefit by his generosity is aloof indeed. With the leaven of incredulity that works in all strong natures, Loder distrusted the professional beggar--therefore the charity that bestows easily and promiscuously was denied him; and of other channels of generosity he was too self-contained to have learned the secret.
When depression falls upon a man of usually even temperament it descends with a double weight. The mercurial nature has a hundred counterbalancing devices to rid itself of gloom--a sudden lifting of spirit, a memory of other moods lived through, other blacknesses dispersed by time; but the man of level nature has none of these.